Chapter 31 Its not Your Fault

"Hokage-sama? You summoned me? Is there another mission you need done?" Kakashi asks.

Tsunade dons a very serious face. "What I am about to say is an S-class secret. If this gets out, one of Konoha's most loyal shinobi will die a very painful and agonizing death at the hands of one of our worst enemies. If you can't keep this quiet, then walk out the door now."

Kakashi steels himself. "I will take it to my grave."

Tsunade casually tosses the letter to him. "Alvarcus says hello from Otogakure."

Out of pure reflex Kakashi catches the airborne letter. "... Come again?"

Tsunade slowly repeats herself as if she's talking to a child, "Alvarcus says hello from Otogakure."

"You mean... he's... I don't understand?" Kakashi looks like a lost puppy. If you ignore the various stains he has on him. His head is ping ponging from the letter to Tsunade.

"Just read the damn letter!" Tsunade orders in mild anger. "Now scram! I've got more important things to do than walk you through this. You're a jonin, act like it."

"Of course, Hokage-sama." With a halfassed bow Kakashi leaves.

Hours Later, Kakashi's Apartment

Kakashi is sitting in the dark on a chair in his living room. He's not moving a millimeter, in fact even his eyes aren't wandering at all. They're staring at a seemingly innocent envelope on the table before him. He's been like this for hours, not moving, not acting, simply staring.

With a great deal of uncertainty he slowly reaches for the letter, but stops halfway there. His arm is just hanging in the air showing how truly terrified and eager he is at the same time.

What could possibly be in this letter? Is it Alvarcus's reasons for why he's a bad sensei? Perhaps it is his motive for leaving, did Kakashi have a hand in it? Or is it simply a hello? He doesn't know, and he's not sure he wants to find out.

Finally, he takes hold of the letter and tenderly opens it.

Sensei,

It is not your fault.

If you only get one thing out of my letter, know that it isn't your fault. I chose to leave, but I also chose to not abandon my home or my friends. I'm playing spy. I'm working to bring down the enemy from the inside.

Since I know you, you probably don't truly believe that you didn't partly drive me away. So, I'm going to tell you why I left. I left for my teammate. He was going to go whether I did or not and someone has to look out for him. I couldn't abandon him, I couldn't let him face these perils alone. Even with all of his strength, he's surprisingly fragile. He's like a blank canvas and I'm not going to let him be molded into something dark, something twisted.

I can't speak for my teammate, but I want you to know that you are the best sensei I could have gotten. Even if we weren't student and teacher for that long I know that I wouldn't be half as good without you. You're awesome.

Except for when you decide to use unconventional taijutsu moves against me. I'm still mad about that. Tell ya what, you let the puppet thing finally go and we'll call it even?

Now get up off your ass, take a damn shower, eat an actual meal and make Konoha proud!

Your Favorite Student

PS

Tell Pakkun I said hi will you?

"You're still mad? I'm still mad!" Kakashi whispers as he tenderly sets the letter back down on the table. "Thank you Alvarcus. I thought I failed again. Thank you."

The Next Morning, Sound Base, Alvarcus's Room

"Summoning Jutsu!" I slam my hand to the ground.

POOF

Once the smoke clears I can see Shirokumo sitting on a ridiculous pile of clothing that wasn't there before. "Shirokumo? When you said the weavers might go overboard, you really underplayed how overboard they would go. There has to be twenty five sets of everything! I could maybe understand the shirts, pants and underwear having that many, but bed sheets? Why would I need twenty five sets of bed sheets?" I grab a handful of them. "Hold on. Are these different materials and everything?"

Bashfully, Shirokumo replies. "Yes? You didn't specify what kind you wanted, so they made a few of the most popular cloths. Everything from wool to our own silk was used."

"I.. uh... wow. I'm impressed. Pass that along will you? I'll use them all eventually. Or most of them. Half?" There are a lot of clothes on my floor now. Ugh, I'll have to put them away.

I start on the new project: Putting away my clothes. Shirokumo idly sits on my bed while I go about the room putting them in their place.

"Your friend, Tsunade, is crazy by the way." I turn to Shirokumo, of all the things he could have said I never expected that. "She almost killed me until I practically threw your letter at her. Screaming about paperwork the entire time."

I laugh at him. "Yep, that's Tsunade. Glad to know she got it." I shove some pants into a dresser drawer. I leave out a very nice pair of dull black silk pants, I'm going to wear very nice clothes today training be damned! I'll find a shirt next.

Shirokumo walks up the wall to the corner above my bed. He starts to make his own web there. "She asks that you get in touch quicker next time, and then ranted about how irresponsible you are."

"Definitely Tsunade. I'll have something for her by the end of the week. I'll need to compose it better than an informal letter so it'll take some time. I'm going to try to send her something once a week at least. That way she gets constant information. That won't be a problem for you, will it?" No need to over use my messenger if he has things that require his attention.

He screeches out laughter while making his new web. "I can take five minutes out of my week to run letters for you, it isn't a problem. If anything Arachne is glad to have me out of the Nest for a bit, says it builds character."

I grab up all of the shirts. "Glad to hear it! Say, do you think the dark blue or the dark green shirt for today?" I hold up the two shirts in question.

"Green." Shirokumo doesn't even look away from his task.

"That's what I was thinking too. Blue just isn't my color." Plus Sasuke always wears dark blue shirts, it must be an Uchiha color thing. I try on my new clothes, they fit exceptionally well and the material is a very high quality silk. The Spiders really know how to make some damn good clothes.

Someone knocks on my door, and then immediately enters without waiting for a response. Its Tayuya. Why is it always her? "UP AND AT- Whoa. You're awake! That never happens, you always sleep until someone drags you out of the bed."

I roll my eyes. "I wake up exactly when I want to. I felt like being awake early today, I had some things to do."

"Like sort through your massive pile of new clothes." Shirokumo happily chimes in from the ceiling. He's finished making his web, he's lazily relaxing in it now.

Tayuya's face turns a ghastly white. "Alvarcus. There is a giant talking spider in your room." She pulls out her flute and raises it to her lips. "Want me to kill it?"

Shirokumo tenses. I lazily swat at Tayuya's flute, she moves it out of the way. "There will be no need for that. I'm the Spider Summoner remember? He's one of my summons."

A small amount of color returns to her face. "Still, you're completely okay with a giant spider making a web over your bed?"

I laugh in amusement. "Tayuya, Shirokumo is one of the smaller ones. The biggest one I've personally seen is as large as a full grown horse."

Tayuya shivers in fright. "That is pure nightmare fuel. How can you stand to be around that?"

I roll my eyes at her. "How can you stand to be around the rest of the Sound Four? Simple, you trust them." I see skeptical comprehension on her face. "It helps that they promised me free clothes for life."

"Free clothes?" Tayuya sounds excited. Did that change her opinion of the Spiders? How shallow.

"Yeah, I'm wearing some right now. I have way too much, I've filled up all of my dresser and closet." I should get another dresser, then I can sort through my new clothes better. I can organize them by material, then by color. That's a project for another day.

I feel a hand run down my back. I suppress the urge to attack, I know only Tayuya and Shirokumo are in the room. Since Shirokumo doesn't have hands, I know it is Tayuya feeling up my back. Which is very worrisome in its own regard.

"Oh that is a very nice material." Tayuya purrs into my ear. She drapes herself over my back and tenderly wraps her arms around me. "What would it take to get some of those for myself?"

"First: let go of me." I grip her wrists in my hands and pull her arms apart. She doesn't fight. When I turn to face her I can see a cute pout on her face. She even crosses her arms to sell the picture. "Second: ask him." I wave a hand at Shirokumo. "He's the one who got me everything."

Tayuya gets a mad gleam in her eye. "Oh Mister Spider!" She merrily skips over to my bed and climbs on it to be closer to Shirokumo. "Mister Spider!"

Shirokumo backs up as far as he can into his web. "Would you look at the time! I must be going right this instant. Al, it was nice seeing you do keep in touch. Toodles!"

POOF

Shirokumo flees in a puff of smoke. Interestingly his webbing stayed behind, I'll have to remember that. I could have him restrain unconscious opponents and then send him back. I wonder how strong the web is?

I'm yanked out of that thought by Tayuya yanking on my arm. "Alvarcus, summon him back here."

"No can do, he said he has to go. I don't know when I'll summon him next. Now, let go of my arm!" She is stroking the sleeve of my new dark green shirt lovingly.

"But it is so soft! I must have it!" She tightens her hold on me with envy in her eyes. Very sweetly she asks, "You'll get me some clothes of this material, won't you? Pretty please?" Tayuya is hugging my arm to her chest tightly.

Ignoring how nice the feeling actually is, I drag us over to my closet. She wouldn't let go of me. I reach in and pull out a random shirt. It is a bright yellow t-shirt made of the same silk as what I'm wearing. I thrust it towards her. "Here. Take it and let me go."

Instantly I'm released. Tayuya is clutching the yellow shirt to her like it is going to run away. "You mean it? I can have this one?" She rubs her face on the shirt with pure elation etched on her features.

"Yeah, whatever." I dismissively wave at her. It isn't like I can't get more, and the color is atrocious. Bright yellow? I'd never be caught dead wearing that.

"Squee!" Tayuya squeaks out while happily hopping in place. She really wants that shirt. I swear she's crazy, yeah the material is super comfortable but to be dancing in happiness over a shirt that isn't even your size? Gotta be crazy.

"Ahem." I interrupt her victory dance. "I'm assuming you came in here for a reason? Every other time you've woken me up we go somewhere."

"Oh shit you're right." She stuffs the yellow shirt into her hip pouch. I'm surprised it fit in there, hip pouches aren't that big. "Orochimaru wants you at the training field." She's all business now. Good, she was being super weird earlier.

"We better not keep him waiting any longer." I gather everything I'll need for a rigorous training session. "Lead the way."

We walk out of my room. This has been a very strange morning.

At the Training Field

"How nice of you two to show up." Orochimaru disapprovingly says. "Do not keep me waiting again or the consequences will be sever."

"Yes Orochimaru-sama." Tayuya bows her head in submission.

"Blame her." I throw her to the wolves. "She only told me to come here three minutes ago."

Orochimaru stares down his nose at the still bowing Tayuya. "We will discuss your actions later, you've wasted enough of my time." Orochimaru turns to me now. "Come Alvarcus, we will start your training now." I follow Orochimaru to the far end of the large room. Tayuya goes and stands by the door.

"So, what are we doing?" I ask him. I really hope he isn't going to test me himself like he said he might earlier. There is no way I can possibly stand up to him, not yet.

A kunai flies towards my head from Orochimaru. I reflexively redirect it back at him with my trusty chakra strings. He casually catches it.

"Today, we're working on your speed, situational awareness and reaction time." He throws the kunai back at me faster this time. I send it back again.

"I'm going to adjust the speed and quantity of thrown projectiles at you while you run around the field." We exchange the kunai once again, this time at a very high speed. I almost missed it with my chakra string.

"Your goal is to cross the field without being hit."

"Sounds simple enough. I've done things like this before." It isn't any different from back when Sasuke and Sakura threw obscene amounts of stones at me.

Thud

A kunai embeds itself into my left shoulder.

"Oh? I thought you said this was simple." Orochimaru taunts. "Better start running."

I yank the kunai out of my shoulder and throw it back at his smug face. The Jiongu stitches me closed. "I just got this shirt! You've put a hole in it already!"

Thud

A kunai is in my right leg this time. "Fine, ruin all my new clothes why don't you." I rip this kunai out and throw it back to him again. I take off across the room, if he wants to play, I'll play.

We spend hours in the training field. Not once did I make it across without a kunai hitting me. I can't help but feel like he's trying to make a point to me. Even if I run away, he is more than capable of killing me with something as basic as a kunai. If I was anyone else I would have passed out from pain and blood loss a long time ago.

"Enough." Orochimaru's voice echos in the large room. "We are done for today."

I launch out a chakra string to catch the kunai he just threw at me. I send it straight at his face with as much speed as I can muster. He tilts his head out of the way.

I smirk in victory. "I finally got you back." Sure enough, some of Orochimaru's long hair is slowly floating down to the ground.

"So you did. How many times did I get you?" Orochimaru asks with a serious face. "I counted well over two hundred."

"One to two hundred is better than zero to two hundred." I inform him. "Has Sasuke gotten a hit in on you yet?" I eagerly ask.

"No." Orochimaru says with pride. "You are first. He has come very close, but not connected." He sounds genuinely happy that I'm the first one to hit him. "Go clean up and get new clothes. Those are barely better than rags now."

As he walks out of the field I call after him, "I blame you for that! They were perfectly fine before training!" He doesn't respond, he keeps on walking.

Tayuya approaches me. "One of these days he's going to snap and seriously hurt you for talking to him like that." She sounds deadly serious.

"Nah, if he didn't like it he would have stopped me by now." I walk out of the training field with Tayuya following me. We head towards my room, I do need to get new clothes. The ones I am wearing are very drafty from all the holes. "I think he likes the change, everyone here treats him formally all the time. I break up the monotony, add some color to this dreary place. Sure, I might treat him in a more relaxed manner, but as long as I respect him I should keep my head."

Tayuya laughs, "I can't deny that. Ever since you and the Uchiha showed up things have been more lively."

"Was it really that bad?" I have always wondered what Sound is like and Tayuya has been a loyal kunoichi for years.

"The best form of entertainment we had was to bet on who survived when people fought over things." She blandly says. "It was a tie between that or reading. Exciting, isn't it?"

I look at her in pity. "That sounds dreadful. So things really are earned by strength here?"

"Yep. Take the mission board for example. All of the missions we get are posted there, it is a first come first serve. Say someone gets a good mission, one that someone else has been waiting to take. They'll fight to see who gets it. Winner goes and the loser has to find another mission. Eventually everyone will know who to not attack and who is easy pickings. Us Sound Four have the pick of any mission we want, no one opposes us anymore."

"Interesting. That does sound like it could be fun."

We arrive at my room and I walk inside. Tayuya follows me and plops down on my bed.

"Uh... Tayuya? Why are you here?" I nervously ask her. She can't possibly be this out of touch with social etiquette.

"Because I'm your escort for the day, duh. What are you an idiot?" She huffs in annoyance.

"No, I understand that." I assure her. "I meant why are you here in my room when I need to change clothes. I'm not giving you a free show."

Her face flushes red in embarrassment. She leaps off the bed and runs out the room and slams the door shut behind her without saying anything.

"Well that was odd." I mumble to myself. I rummage around in my closet and dresser and pull out a new set of clothes. I'm sticking with the green top and back bottom theme today, I grabbed an exact match of what I was wearing earlier. I discard the ruined set in a corner, never to be used again.

I open my door and poke my head out. "All done." She noticeably stiffens at my words. She's still red in the cheeks. "So... now what?"

"I don't know." Tayuya says without looking at me.

I sigh, she's closing herself off due to her embarrassment. "How about we go to that lounge we were at yesterday. You know, the one where you rudely woke me up from a wonderful nap."

"Good times. I only wish I had my water bucket then." She walks down the hall. I follow after her.

"Next time you do that, I'm siccing Shirokumo on you." I threaten her with summons as we make our way to the lounge.

"You mean Mister Spider?" I nod. "He and I still need to talk business. I want those clothes." She has a far away look in her eyes. "Mmmm..."

"I'm just going to ignore whatever the hell that was." We've arrived at the lounge. We are the only two here, everyone else must be doing something.

I take a running leap onto a bed. "Oh how I have missed you. You are way better than the one in my room!"

Tayuya plops herself down in a chair with a scroll to read. "You have an obsession with beds."

"And you have an obsession with clothes." I accuse her. I swear she was salivating at the prospect of getting clothes not even five minutes ago.

We fall into a companionable silence. I drift off to sleep to the pleasant sound of Tayuya humming.

A week goes by with the same routine. Wake up, get escorted to training with Orochimaru, get utterly bested at anything and everything he has me do for hours on end and then chill with the rest of the Sound Four and Sasuke once Orochimaru is done training him. I fell into a pleasant pattern.

I've improved on a lot of things over this past week, mostly thanks to Orochimaru. Say what you will about his methods but they are very effective. He's taking the Jiongu into account, he doesn't have to hold back as much as he would with Sasuke. He constantly gives me wounds that would kill others, if he put anyone else through my training regime they would die. I have no doubt of that. He knows that he can be extremely rough with me, I can bounce back and it accelerates my training. Why use the safe method when the insane method of teaching is so much more effective?

In return for the extreme brutality I face everyday my skills have skyrocketed. I'm faster, I'm stronger, I feel better. My skills aren't the only thing that has risen, my desire to constantly sleep has too. I never have to worry about being physically tired, but being put through hours of what could be considered torture is mentally exhausting. It is a miracle I haven't lost my sanity yet.

That is where Sasuke finds me today, sleeping in the lounge after a very rigorous training session.

"Alvarcus. Get up." Sasuke's voice pulls me from my slumber.

"Don't wanna." I roll over so my back is to him. Maybe he'll go away.

"Orochimaru wants to talk to us." A shiver runs down my spine, Sasuke is planning something terrible. "You have five seconds to get up or I go get Tayuya's bucket."

With a huge yawn I force myself up off the couch. "Why is it always water? Can't you find another way to threaten me to get up?"

Sasuke starts to push me out of the lounge. "I can try stabbing you with a kunai next time. I'm sure that would work very well."

"It would be less of a mess." I comment offhandedly. "The water goes everywhere. Plus I only bleed if I want to."

Sasuke urges me to go faster by repeatedly shoving me forwards down the hallway. "You are so weird! Who reacts to a threat like that?"

We walk the rest of the way in silence. We stop outside what must be Orochimaru's office and Sasuke knocks on the door.

"Come in." Orochimaru orders.

We enter. It is a very spartan office, there are no comforts in this room besides the chair that Orochimaru is sitting in. File cabinets line the walls, there is a map of the Land of Sound displayed on the wall directly behind my new Kage. Orochimaru has a very large desk in front of him with papers strewn about it. I doubt that the papers are important, he knew we were coming. He would hide anything truly sensitive since he doesn't fully trust me yet.

Sasuke boldly walks right up to the desk. I lazily lean against the wall right next to the door. "You wanted to see us?" I ask Orochimaru. We must make an interesting sight. Sasuke appears very eager while I seem disgruntled. "Red-eyes over there woke me up for this, please have something important to say."

Orochimaru chuckles at my disheveled appearance and my irritated attitude. No one else would dare to sass him as much as I do, I've seen him lash out at others for much less than an irritated comment. "Fear not, I have a mission of sorts for you both to take."

That is new. He's never even implied we'd go on missions until now. I'm surprised he's willing to risk his precious next body on one, either no one else can do it or he's very confident in our ability to survive. I bet we are overqualified for this mission, ridiculously overqualified.

Orochimaru dramatically leans forward. Sasuke mimics him and I roll my eyes. This whole situation is ridiculous. "I am going to send you both to the next Chunin Exams in Kusagakure."

I take it back, this isn't ridiculous. This is absolute insanity. "You want Sasuke and me to take the Chunin Exams? Konoha is going to send a crap ton of gennin to this exam, people who know us will be there. They'll recognize us on sight. Even if we masquerade as someone else from Sound they'll still try to grill us for information about their missing 'friends.'" I make air quotes around the last word, they are still my friends but I need to sell the idea that I don't care about them to Orochimaru. "You must have a plan. You wouldn't suggest this otherwise."

Orochimaru pulls out two masks. One is a solid crimson, the other a solid dark green. "You two will wear these masks the entire time." He tosses Sasuke the crimson and me the green. "This is more than just the Chunin Exams, I'm testing you as well."

"Infiltration, you're testing us on infiltration." Sasuke ventures a guess. "You want to see how we handle ourselves under duress of dealing with people we know while we need to keep our identities hidden."

"Not only that." I add on to Sasuke's logical guess. "To keep our identities hidden we'll have to limit our skills. I won't be able to use my chakra strings or Jiongu and Sasuke won't be able to use his Sharingan. We'll have to rely on skills they haven't seen before or skills that everyone would know. The basics." I look Orochimaru straight in the eyes. "You want us to pass the chunin exam using only basic skills while keeping our identities hidden. Why? What's your angle?"

Orochimaru beams in pride at Sasuke and my deduction of his plan. We aren't only physically gifted in the shinobi arts but we are both mentally sharp as well. "Does it really matter?"

"Not really." I shrug. "I'm curious is all. I want to know what your play is, I may be able to further it if you tell me."

"You think I have an ulterior motive for sending you both to the Chunin Exams?" Orochimaru asks me in excitement. He really enjoys when we talk like this, more specifically when we have a battle of logic instead of blows. He likes to pick at my thoughts and occasionally bounces ideas off of me. It isn't uncommon for us to have one of these conversations during my training while he's beating me into the ground. "Tell me, what is my angle? What would you do in my position?"

I take a moment to gather my thoughts. "Sasuke and I are both overqualified for the exams, we all know that. Even using basic skills and the things we've learned since coming here we will still be strong combatants, so this isn't necessarily a test of our skills. I am also skeptical you'd place us so close to Konoha shinobi to test our infiltration skills." I consider a few options. "Either you want to make a point that the gennin who steamrolled over the competition using only the basics could be anyone in Sound and you want to use us to boost our popularity among the watching potential clients. If we don't reveal who we are we could be anyone that you say we are. You could hypothetically send anyone in a crimson or green mask to the client saying that it is the shinobi from the exams." I take a breath, the only other option I can think of is scary and potentially life threatening. "The other thing you might have planned is to unmask both of us at the end of the exams. Showing that two of Konoha's promising gennin from the last exams went to you, essentially saying that Sound is better than Konoha. Why else would we have come to you?"

Orochimaru goes deep in thought. "Both of those ideas never occurred to me." He tilts his head in consideration. "Your second idea, although clever, would only harm me in the long run. Konoha currently doesn't know exactly where you both are. I can't afford to advertise your locations like that. Your first idea does show promise, I might implement it if you both make a lasting impression on the spectators."

"Then what is your goal?" Sasuke presses Orochimaru to reveal his plan.

Orochimaru merrily leans back into his chair and smiles deviously at us. "I've been bored lately and I think it will be entertaining to watch."

Silence falls in the room. Sasuke and I both can't believe it.

"Really?" Sasuke asks in confusion. "That is it? You just want to watch?"

"Kukukuku, boys not everything I do has to be part of a bigger scheme. I do enjoy watching the fruits of my labor." Orochimaru says with a very smug face.

I shake my head, trying to re-boot my brain. Or Jiongu-brain. "Alright, I'm going to ignore how unexpected that was and simply accept it and move on. So when are the Chunin Exams starting?"

Orochimaru hands us both forms. They're exactly like the version Konoha used. "A little over a month from now."

"Who is going to be our third teammate?" Sasuke asks. He's got a good point. The exams in Konoha required that we be in teams of three. "The Sound Four are out. It'll have to be someone else."

"The exams in Grass are for single entrants only. There are no teams being sent. If a group works together or not it is up to them." Orochimaru cheerfully informs us. That is very convenient, it would be hard to bring in another person to our team. Sasuke and I work exceptionally well together, adding in another person could ruin our team dynamics. "I leave it up to you two to decide to work with each other or not. I expect to see you both in the finals."

Sasuke and I share a look. "Work together as needed, but otherwise go alone?" He says.

"Sure, why not." I agree to his idea. "If the proctors force us into teams of some sort we'll try to match up. If not we will avoid each other. A nonaggression pact."

"Good!" Orochimaru claps his hands together. "I can't wait to see how much you both improve in the coming month. Don't think I'll take it easy on you, if anything expect me to push you further."

I groan. "You already kick my ass every time. How can you possibly push me further?" I should not have asked that.

"I can cut off a limb or two." He blandly replies. "There is always a way to advance."

"How about no?" I weakly ask. He just smiles his creepy smile. "Training tomorrow is going to be hell, isn't it?"

Orochimaru's malicious smile widens. "You have no idea."

"On that lovely note, I'm going to go sleep some more. I have a feeling that I'll not be getting that much over the next month." I briskly walk out the door. Sasuke follows after me two seconds later. I make my way towards my room and he falls in step beside me.

"I have no idea how you're still alive." I send Sasuke a questioning glance. What is he talking about? I haven't done anything life threatening today. Well, excluding training with Orochimaru. I'm still waiting for the day he destroys one of my hearts. "The way you talk to Orochimaru. It is a miracle you're still breathing."

Why does everyone not understand that Orochimaru likes me being informal with him? "He obviously isn't bothered by it. He would have told me to stop or cut my head off a few times. Is it really that hard to believe?"

"Yes." Sasuke instantly replies. "That man is all business. If you screw with him he reacts violently. Most people die."

"I'm not most people, am I?" I have things he wants. He doesn't want to kill me, so I am using that to my advantage. I am still dreading the day he finally asks for something from my memories and I'm secretly hoping he never does.

"No, you most certainly are not. It's not like he calls everyone 'child.'" Sasuke agrees. That comment kills the conversation, we walk in silence back to my room.

"Alright, scram! I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to sleep more." I shoo Sasuke away. "Go bother someone else!"

He leaves with a shake of his head. I enter my room and firmly shut the door. I'm not sleeping yet. I sit down at my desk and pull out a piece of paper. I write only a few sentences on it.

I run through the hand signs for summoning.

POOF

Shirokumo pops out of the smoke and scampers up to his web in the corner. He likes to be high up, I have no idea why. Heights are terrifying. "Hey Al. How's things?" He greets me once he's settled in.

"We have a new development and a potentially bad situation." Shirokumo stills in his web. "Sasuke and I are being sent to the Chunin Exams in Kusa."

He tilts his whole body to the side. It is the equivalent of an inquisitive look. "And? I don't see how that's a bad thing."

"You know how I'm spying on those here right?" He bobs his body in acknowledgment. "I'm considered a missing nin from my home village, everyone there thinks I abandoned them to come to Sound. They could have a kill on sight order out for me. Only Tsunade, the crazy lady, and Kakashi-sensei know that I'm loyal to Konoha still. The reason the situation could turn very sour is because Tsunade is obligated to send an overwhelming amount of gennin to this exam. Most of them are my friends, if they recognize me I'm screwed. I need to show that I'm loyal to Orochimaru if I want to keep playing spy, so if they do figure out who I am I'll need to brutally put them down. I can't display one moment of hesitation or Orochimaru may decide I'm a risk and kill me."

"You're playing a dangerous game." Shirokumo is all business now. He's pacing back and forth in his web. "Can we help at all? We could make you a mask to hide your face."

I hold up the dark green mask Orochimaru provided me with. "I've got one already. I could use a hood or a cowl though, something to help obscure me even further. I'll also need a long sleeved overcoat to help hide my scars. A lot of bandages to wrap up my limbs as added insurance for my scars wouldn't hurt either. Oh, and maybe a scarf? If the hood doesn't hide my neck very well I'll have to use a scarf to hide my scar on my neck."

"Any material preference?" Shirokumo isn't phased by my tall order. I'm basically ordering a whole custom outfit just for one occasion and he's not batting an eyelash. Do spiders even have eyelashes?

"The coat should be a flexible yet durable material. I need maneuverability but I don't want it to be easily ripped or torn. Make the hood, cowl, scarf and the bandages out of spider silk. That is simply a wonderful material, much better than wool. If I have to have it rubbing on my skin for hours, I want to feel good about it."

My summon beams in pride. I did compliment the Spiders in a round about way. "I'll pass along the order. Any color preference? The weavers sometimes take artistic liberty and make things ridiculous colors."

I know, Tayuya has one of the ridiculously bright yellow shirts. I have three more. "Make the coat a dark green, match it to the mask as best as possible. The hood and cowl can be black. Make the scarf a brilliant eye catching red. I want it to draw the eye and distract observers."

"Simple enough. How many sets do you want?"

I pause and consider his question for a moment. "Bring me one but keep four ready in the Nest. I'll summon someone if I need to replace anything."

Shirokumo climbs down from his nest. "Works for me, I'll pass it along. Now, do you want that letter delivered?" He holds up his two front legs and I pass him the letter. He latches it onto his back. "I'm off, unless you have anything else to add?"

"Don't be seen."

He screeches in amusement. "I'm not an amateur, thank you!"

POOF

Shirokumo vanished into a cloud of smoke. I finally plop down on my bed and cocoon myself in blankets.

I hope he doesn't get almost squished this time.

Hokage's Office

POOF

"Sup Tsunade. How ya been?" Shirokumo happily greets the Hokage.

WHAM

A paperweight explodes in the spot that Shirokumo was in, denting the floor. "Sorry! Sorry, reflexes. I remember you, you can come out now. There is no need to hide under the couch." Tsunade coaxes him out of his new hiding spot.

"We have to stop meeting like this." He climbs on top of the Hokage's desk. "One of these days I'm not going to move fast enough." Shirokumo says with a waver of fear in his voice. "I'm too young to die!"

Tsunade rummages around in the bottom drawer of her desk. She pulls out a bottle. "I'm too sober to deal with this right now. You want a glass?"

Shirokumo shrugs. "Why not. You better read the letter first though. I'd hate for you to forget it because you were intoxicated."

Tsunade waves a hand dismissively at him. "You don't know how much I can drink."

"How about you read the letter and do everything you need to and then we get trashed?" Shirokumo offers. "It has been a very long time since I got good and proper drunk."

"You want to be my drinking buddy?" Tsunade sounds surprised, but that doesn't stop her from pulling out two sake cups and pouring a healthy amount in both.

Shirokumo places his legs over each cup before Tsunade can drink hers. "After you handle the business." He detaches the letter from his back and holds it out to her.

Reluctantly she takes and opens it.

Lady with the Hat,

The wayward Snake and Spider will be at the Chunin Exams in Kusa.

Do not try to retrieve us, we've been ordered to remain anonymous. Tell anyone you send to avoid us, it will make things easier. We have been ordered to win, to make it a show. The Traitor wants to watch us, we can't afford any missteps. It is just us two going, I don't think that anyone else will be sent.

Don't tell me anything about your plans or who you are sending. I need my act to be genuine, the Traitor will know if I'm faking.

We are doing well, as well as possible considering where we are. My training has been brutal, but I fear that it is going to get worse over the next month. If I ever make it back, you'll have one hell of an asset at your disposal.

Spider

"You have got to be shitting me. How does Alvarcus keep getting into these situations? I swear he's a magnet for crazy." Tsunade burns the letter with a minor fire jutsu. "Are all of your summoners this unlucky?"

Shirokumo screeches out laughter and he takes a drink of the sake. "Nah, just him. I never really interacted with the other three that much, and that was a very long time ago. I was much younger then but the stories I would hear about them were very mild compared to the things Al finds himself in."

Tsunade throws back her glass of sake in one big gulp. "We'll have to save drinking for another time. I need to get a plan together. I never expected Orochimaru to do this."

Shirokumo slides his glass over to Tsunade. "You need it more than me." She tosses his back too. "I'll leave you to it."

"Thanks." Tsunade gratefully says.

Shirokumo vanishes in a puff of smoke.

"Once you get past the fact that he's a giant spider, he's actually a swell guy. Never would have guessed that." Tsunade hides her sake back in her desk. "SHIZUNE!"

Shizune calmly walks through the doors. "I'm off the clock in five minutes. Can this wait until tomorrow?"

"Probably, but I want this done now."

Shizune sighs. Her shoulders slump in resignation. "You have the worst timing to finally get a work ethic. What do you want done?"

Tsunade stands up and starts pacing. Shizune's face becomes grim, she knows that something serious happened. Tsunade wouldn't be this animated otherwise. "Get me Kakashi. I have a task for him. He's going to thin the herd."

"Excuse me?" Shizune falters. "Thin the herd? What herd?"

"I need to cut back the amount of gennin that are being sent to Kusa. He's going to come up with a way to do that. And I'll have him be the leader of everyone sent. That should make things much easier for me, then I can have someone very skilled who actually knows what's going on there. Perfect!"

Shizune looks very confused. "I thought we wanted an overwhelming number to go? Now you want to limit it? What don't I know?"

Tsunade stops her pacing and give Shizune her full attention. "Shizune, can you keep an S-rank secret? If anyone hears about this one of Konoha's most loyal shinobi will die. Violently."

Shizune raises up to her full height. "Yes, Tsunade-sama, I can. Not even Ibiki could get it out of me."

"Good!" Tsunade's eyes light up in glee. "Alvarcus says hello from Otokagure."

"..."

"Shizune? You alright? You're not going to faint on me are you?"

"THAT IRRESPONSIBLE LITTLE BRAT! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM HE BETTER BE READY BECASUE HE'S DUE FOR A MAJOR TALKING TO! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'D DO SOMETHING SO STUPID!"