Chapter 8 Forbidden Feelings

Vandita kept her eyes closed. She wanted to savour every bit of this mesmerizing moment. This is everything she had dreamt of...! Awnirudh's strong arms enveloped her completely. His legs were on hers. They faced each other and Vandita could hear his thumping heartbeat. It was loud and rhythmic.

She had buried her nose in his neck and sniffed his aroma as much as she could.

Suddenly a strange feeling engulfed her entire being. She wanted Awnirudh to hold her tighter and closer. She felt her throat drying and her heart pounding. There was a strange sensation growing at her core, spreading across her body. She snuggled even closer, clutching onto his shirt, Vandita wanted her body to touch Awnirudh's entirely.

She felt Awnirudh's movement. He was swallowing hard. She felt the hard of his throat moving a little. 'Adams Apple', that's what she had read. But never did she realise it would be so tempting from the pictures in her book. Without realising, Vandita touched the spot with her lips. She stuck her tongue out a little to taste his skin... She sucked on his throat feebly with a shower of light kisses...

And then it happened! Nothing could have prepared Vandita for what she had experienced next. She felt Awnirudh's hand caressing her bare back... An inexplicable sensation overwhelming her beyond her wildest imagination. She felt a shiver run down her spine, followed by a sharp tingling sensation stirring in between her thighs. This was new to her... a completely uncharted territory yet to be explored.

Vandita had felt Awnirudh's hand traveling down her back and she gasped in utmost excitement. His hand travelled down her spine to the start of her soft round buttocks. She felt him grab her back. With a hard squeeze, Vandita realised Awnirudh was pulling her closer to him.. yet closer.

She had suddenly felt as if she may have peed a little, just a little, and there was a strange build up arising in her lower abdomen.

She couldn't take it anymore. She had pressed her body intensely with his, rubbing her thighs together. She wanted Awnirudh to touch her thighs or maybe just a little up...

Amidst the delirious trans, suddenly, she had realised Awnirudh pulling her chin up and looking straight in her eyes.. it was as if to find an unknown answer. She could feel his warm breath on her face and his trembling lips inching closer with every passing second. A soft moan had escaped from her lips as Awnirudh tightened his grip on her waist. The close proximity of their lips had made her heart flutter. She could see her own reflection in his eyes. Vandita had closed her eyes in anticipation...

The discord happened too soon...

Her castle of imagination had shattered abruptly with a sudden blaring thunder roar. It had startled her, and this time she lacked the courage to open her eyes again.

The darkness in the room was overpowering. Vandita realised that Awnirudh was slowly loosening his grip on her. He very carefully made her lie down on her back and patted her head gently. It reminded her of her mother, how she used to pat her head similarly, on such stormy nights.. She felt comfortable. There were no electric jolts, no eccentricity.. She felt relaxed, she felt happy and safe to be in her Barrister babu's arms.. A small smile had escaped her lips before she drifted off to her land of sweet dreams.

.......

It was still dark when Awnirudh left Vandita's bed. Vandita was sleeping peacefully, and looking at her angelic face, Awnirudh couldn't help but wonder what epic blunder he was about to make!

He cursed himself for feeling the way he felt for her last night. How could he!!

He always thought himself to be better than this. Then why? ... Why was he ready to give in to his dark carnal desires ?

He had to do something. Something that would put an end to all these. But what?

Awnirudh went to his study and sat quietly untill the day broke.

His father, uncle and brothers were to return the next day. Koeli and other attendees were busy decorating the Haweli for their arrival. And why would they not decorate? Afterall it was Awnirudh and Vandita's 5th Wedding anniversary... A wedding that was never meant to be!

Amidst the morning hustle bustle, Awnirudh managed to make a couple of phone calls. He asked Koeli to check on Vandita's health and tend to her. Lost in thoughts, he remained the entire day locked in his study.

"Am I doing the right thing?"

He had asked himself one last time before clenching his fist and hitting his walnut study table hard.

"Yes, it's the right thing", he had sighed.

...

Koeli had gently woken Vandita up from her sleep.

"Vandita bahu, how are you feeling now?" She asked tenderly.

"Better. Where is he? Where did Barrister babu go?" She looked around restlessly instead.

"Barrister Babu? Was he here last night?" Koeli asked, a slight frown on her face, and Vandita's face brightened at once.

"Yes Koeli didi. He was right here, beside me." Vandita patted the bed to show where Awnirudh was!

"Baburani? You mean Barrister babu slept with you in this room last night?" Koeli looked visibly elated.

"Yes Koeli didi, I swear he did. He hugged me the entire night. He even..." Vandita stopped mid-sentence and put her palm on the mouth, her face flushed with the first shades of bashfulness.

"Durga Maa, finally... congratulations Vandita bahu, your marriage is complete now" Koeli almost danced in happiness.

"My marriage is complete? How?" Vandita asked thoughtfully.

"Oh ho Baburani, you are a grown woman now. And the best part is your husband loves you... don't ask too many questions." Koeli remarked coyly. "I'll have to give this news to Boro Jomindar Babu, your Uncle-in-law. He would be extremely happy." Koeli quickly rushed out of the room.

"Why should I not ask questions?" Vandita thought. But she was relieved as Koeli finally said that her marriage was complete. All questions can wait but before that she needs to find her Awnirudh Babu.

With the thought in mind Vandita quickly got out of her bed and went to her bathroom to freshen up.

It was after an hour when she finally saw Awnirudh standing infront of the telephone lost in thought.

She tiptoed and hugged him from behind.

Awnirudh was startled.

"Haha.. Barrister babu you got scared" Vandita laughed out loud. Her laughter was like a clear stream of waterfall flowing down from a valley of eternal happiness. There was no dilemma, no perplexity in her appearance. As if she has totally forgotten about the previous night.

"That's a good sign."

Awnirudh thought and smiled.

"Vandita, you indeed have scared me." Said Anirudh instead. "How are you feeling now?" He asked.

"Good... Better... Best... I'm feeling the best Barrister babu. I'm very happy today." Vandita took a swirl before hugging Awnirudh again.

"Good to know Vandita. May I know the reason for your happiness as well?" Awnirudh asked cordially.

Vandita stood on her toes to reach up to Awnirudh's ears, and then she whispered coyly.

"Barrister babu, I'm happy because our marriage is complete now."

She hid her face in her hands playfully immediately after saying these words.

Awnirudh was stunned for a moment. He was expecting a backfire as a consequence of the previous night, but not this!

"Our marriage is complete? What are you saying Vandita? Who told you all these? Who is teaching you all these?" He fumed up.

"Koeli didi said.." Vandita was taken aback a little by this sudden change in Awnirudh's behaviour.

"Ok... So now Koeli has become your principal... I see." Awnirudh was visibly enraged now.

" Listen Vandita... Listen very carefully. Our marriage was complete before in our own way. Nothing, I repeat nothing happened last night that would possibly have changed anything between us."

"But Barrister babu... " Vandita objected.

But before she could complete her sentence, Awnirudh interjected.

"Vandita... Nothing happened.. Don't get ideas."

Awnirudh noticed Vandita's face losing its colour. As if someone has drained away all the blood from the face. His own heart twitched in pain but his head knows this is absolutely the right thing to do.