The one in the crowd

It was beautiful like every year. Every year she decides to stop and tell herself that this year will be the last But it never happens. Something Keep pushing her to this magical night. Her head filled with thoughts as she crossed the narrow road that will take her to the place she has been waiting to go from the moment she left it. Different years and same story. She pushed all the thoughts behind and covered he face with the thin net she brought to keep herself a bit hidden like she always has.

The more she walked ahead the more crowded it became. Sounds of chatter and laughter hit her hard as she walked through a huge group of people who covered the whole lane she was walking in. Her heartbeat started escalating as the different types of music from ahead hit her. The decorations and the fragrance of food filled her nostrils from time to time while crossing the whole crowd.

A huge gate welcomed her in front after crossing the whole road. Every year she questioned herself why this event is organized far from the city but then its magnificent gave her answer. So many lights hit her face as she takes in the whole view in front of her. All the emptiness is decorated, and different small shops covered the whole space. People are hurriedly walking from one to another looking for things to buy. She crossed the gate without even looking around as there is something more important other than all the beauty she cannot miss. After walking for ten minutes and crossing hundred of people she was able to find it.

Not many changes as usual as she crossed the mini entrance she took a feathered black mask to cover her eyes as everybody does here. Most of the crowd and even the performers on the stage cover their eyes always. She liked it. It works very well for her. She hurriedly put it on and pulled her black long skirt a bit up to avoid any fall. As she walked in she knew everybody was waiting for the group to enter the stage. She walked through people to reach her spot that is near the stage just in a corner, away from people but too near to the voice that brings her here every year. Every year she just hopes he is here to sing. Her eyes widened as she looked at the massive stage.

All the noise from the people fades in as she remembers how last year he stood in one place without moving hardly moving his eyes. The way he stands for the last four years hasn't changed much. That is why she likes this place. she can watch him throughout the performance. A loud cheering brought her out of the memories of last year as she watches members entering the stage one by one. He will be the last she knows. No posters, no names she wonders how they earn through it. She never found anything on the internet about this whole event and even the songs they sing. Her eyes keep widening as each member of the group entered and took their place and the crowd kept cheering. People move here and there to settle themselves.

She digs her feet in the ground so as not to move even an inch from her place. Her eyes looked at the entrance determined not to miss a single second of his presence. In a few seconds, he enters and the whole crowd stopped, the noise fading in with each step he takes on stage. His steps were heavy and the only thing that she heard as he walked was his eyes straight ahead on the place he is going to stand. He took his place and like every year just for once he tilted his head towards their eyes meeting from under the mask for a nanosecond and before she could blink he moved his head. She sucked two deep breaths and waited for the show to begin. It is enough she tells herself like every year. She watched intensely as the members started playing the instruments. Intense music played and with he hit one chord loudly to make sure his presence is noticed. She closed her eyes so as not to miss any beat of what they played. It is so surreal. The silence from the crowd tells her everybody is lost in the intense music they are playing.

These few minutes going to give her longing for the whole year yet again. They kept changing the tones as time pass by and she could not help but get lost in every moment that she have here. The concert went on for two hours. As the beat drops she opened her eyes to see him directly staring at her while his hands move on the chords of the guitar he holds. Like every year he stared at her till the end. All the members dropped their hands as the songs ended. The whole crowd erupted in cheers as they bent a little to say goodbye and turned away leaving the stage. One by one they moved from the back.

It was time to leave. The crowd started scattering and she too turned to leave. With the one glance behind she turned towards the gate. Her heart dropped in her stomach thinking what if it is the last year? What if it is all she got? Suddenly her feet turned around and she found herself running back off the stage. Different types of voices hit her as she passed a few people standing there. The narrow corridors that were made of temporary sheets were quite long with different openings too small rooms. Her eyes wander at the so many entrances. What the fuck she thought that he will stand there in the middle of the corridor telling her the way. Her mind registered how it is getting dark the more she moves. There was silence. Few hush-hush sounds came from rooms she crossed. There were no written signs of any kind. Strange . she thought and turned around giving up on going any further.

A little fear entered her mind of her being alone in the middle of now where without telling anyone. Her eyes looked at the way she came and she kept walking to go outside. Her head suddenly hit something as she walks ahead. Oomph her body surprised here by balance she did not lose. Sorry automatically left her mouth as she looked up only to see his lean figure and blue eyes narrowed on her frame. He was still wearing the same black shirt with rolled sleeves. The guitar in his hands was gone. Her lips parted in surprise but before she can say anything his mouth opened. His voice is a bit ruder than she thought.

"Leave" He whispered but she heard him clearly

"Fuck no" She heard herself. Words came from her mouth before she could register. She does not think she has ever replied to anything this quickly in her whole life.

What? She heard herself and him say together. It is a different thing she was supposed to say in his mind and he was probably questioning her stupidity Obviously what kind of word is "FUCK NO". It never existed in her world before. She should leave, right?

That's what he said and you said no dumb head. She chided herself in the brain. but she should leave, right? Frustrated breaths leave her mouth as her mind ran with thoughts.

you should leave. He said again a bit loudly his posture getting a bit tense.

"oh, maybe he does not like to meet people". She thought

Her face fell as she looked at his face. It was cold. Nothing like on stage. All the difficult times, lying to her friends and family just to hear his voice crossed her mind.

She finally broke away from her thoughts and nodded her head. But before she could move, in a very quick movement his hands pulled the eye mask she wore. She gasped in surprise at the sudden movement but before she could register the little lights flicker there and went off. Simultaneously, two hands grasped her waist pulling her upwards. His lips fell on her in urgency. His one hand supported all her weight while the other was busy keeping her face in place. She shut her eyes tightly to block the blankness that took over her brain.

*************************************

Two hands catch the child running on a dimly little small street. The child looked up as the man in his forties hinder her from going any further. His both hands holding her both arms tightly.

come here pretty doll, you are growing up so good . one day you are going to make me very happy. The old man's face filled with scars, his eyes red and the tattered skin of his hands sent shivers in a small girl child who tried to break free from his hands. She struggled to break free and the man just laughed at futile attempts at her. His nails dug inside both her arms and he bent down to come down at her level and whispered.

"Run as fast as you can little one "

if we could run from all our dark moments we would not carry scars from the past and fear of future