Chapter 18: luck
"What happened? I told you not to touch Goro!" "I swear I didn't" "Then who did? I saw him lying on the ground with my two eyes" "I did touch those bullies, I killed them but not Goro because you said so" "I still got a use for him, I told you not to touch him. Yes, I want him out of my life but not to the point that he will die. That is not in the plan, I don't want him dead" "Wait, I was on the same lane as him that time. I saw a hooded guy, I don't know if he's a guy or not. He get near him then after that Goro lied on the floor, I just blink my eyes and he's gone. He's nowhere to be found" "So… who is that guy" "That is the question"
If you are happy then you are lucky. If you found a yen on a street then you are lucky. If your crush likes you back you are lucky. If your stomach is full, you are lucky. If you have good friends and a family, then that is considered luck. If you achieved something, you are lucky. There are different kinds of luck, a good and a bad one. Luck is something you achieved after a hard work. It is something fate has for you. What if all you have is the worst luck ever, how will you overcome it? or is there a way to do that?
Goto Botan is your typical happy-go-lucky guy, too carefree and untroubled. He always does what he wants without thinking of its effect and consequences. He escaped the subject when he is bored, eat inside the class whenever he want, and sleep during exams and quizzes. But what is funny about it is despite of being a student like that he still have a passing grades and sometimes his name is listed on the top students in school and even joined poster making contests and won. He is an intelligent guy yet he is lazy and crazy. .He sure is living his life to the fullest doing all what he wants and what he thinks. He has the life to be enjoyed, a life that is full of fun and a life that is just a pure luck so who would know that this kind of life will change in a blink of an eye.
Botan's motto is you only live once so why don't you live a life that you wanted, enjoy every moment and live with no regrets, time passes so fast before you noticed and because you are afraid to try, you are doing nothing little did you know that not trying is your biggest regret, before you noticed it is already too late. They said that being a teen ager and a high school student is one of the most exciting and enjoyable part of a person's life, it will just passed by but while it is passing by, you should treasure every moment you spend with it before it is too late. Botan is known as a cheerful, hyper and jolly guy. Little did they know that this cheerful, hyper and jolly guy is afraid of one thing, and this is the future. He is not a happy-go-lucky guy at all. He is afraid of changes, that the things he used to do, will he not be able to do it anymore. The things he enjoyed will changed as the people. As you grow older, there are lots of changes that happened like your beliefs, priorities, the way you think and move, your emotions and the way you view things. It is not bad to worry about what might happen but do not forget that you are still living in the present and because of thinking about the future too much you might miss the things in front of you right now. You can't avoid the changes, it is already bound to happen and you have nothing to do with them. You can't just wish to pause the time and forever be the way you are right now. When you were young, you wished to grow old faster but once you are an adult, you wished to become young again. It might be uncomfortable and awkward at first, however, once you accepted your situation you will used to it. Just like an old book that used to be placed in an old rugged shelf then it was replaced with a new one, the book will not change but it's surrounding is. You are too worried to move forward and like to stay where you are, you will not know what is waiting for you outside that room if you will not try, yes it is fun to where you are now and what is waiting for you ahead might be finnier, you will not know once you try to step your foot forward. Just like when you are going to clean a super duper very messy room without the help of any cleaning materials. At first you will think how you will start or where. Of course, you start by picking those dirts in your feet, then to the things you can reach, little by little before you knew you already done cleaning everything and the room is already shiny and cleaned. It is not bad to take a break once in a while after a hard effort, you can read a manga, sip a cup of hot coffee or go out with friends. It is not bad to worry for your own future but you should also know what is in the present because you might lost your own time because of thinking so much. Future is still there, the clock will still tick and days will still pass so before that happen why not give all you've got in enjoying and living the life you wanted while you are at it before those changes come. Botan is afraid of the future yet he knows how to treasure the present.
Every student is required to pass a career plan to be discussed with the teacher and their parents or guardian. This is a process for identifying what you are good at. Knowing how your skills, talents, values, and interests translate into possible jobs or careers. Matching your skills to existing jobs or careers. Matching your career goals to your educational needs. Making good decisions for yourself. Botan is still unsure of his plan in the near future, he is thinking if he will continue his studies in college or start working to be independent. He himself is unsure what he wants or what he need to achieve, he passed his paper blank unknown for what might happen. This issue is been already discussed by his parents and they want him to go to college as possible just like his other siblings. Searching for a job without achieving anything or having a degree is a little bit hard and if it happen that you will find one, there is a possibility that your salary is not enough.
"After high school I planned on going to college and become a pilot, ever since I was a child I already wished to ride on a plane and drove it" "I want to become an idol! I am cute and beautiful and also talented, it will be just a waste if the world will not know me" "I …I just want …a… normal life, I want to live in a world where no one is dying" "What do you want to do after high school, Goro Botan?" "My parents and I already talked about it and… I think I will go to college while thinking what I want to be"
Botan believes that he was just living the way it is because of lucky. He is lucky enough enjoy his life even his future is unclear. Luck, what does it really mean? Sleeping under the roof every night and waking every morning is already a luck. Eating three times a day and having a complete family is enough to be a luck already. Just like everything else, luck is not permanent, it also fades.
The homeroom interrupted the literature class for a while to call Goto Botan. Upon hearing the news, he immediately ran out of the place leaving his things behind. He tries to be brave while on the way yet his vision is getting blurry as he moves. As always, he woke up late this morning so he didn't saw his parents leave their place for work. He always waved at them when they leave, but this once he didn't wake up. It hurts him a lot that for the last time he didn't say goodbye to them. Just for a day he woke up late not knowing that, that one goodbye is permanent, that one goodbye will mean a lot, and one goodbye will be the last one. In no time, he reached the funeral. His hands are shaking while opening the white blanket slowly upon seeing the person covered by it, he break down as his other siblings arrive. They were just happy last night telling jokes and teasing each other while eating dinner without a clue that this would be the last dinner all of them together will be having.
In their funeral, their relatives pointing their fingers to each other and debating who will take care of the kids. In the end, since his siblings finished their studies already even they don't have a permanent job or a high salary, they insist to live alone together rather than staying with a relative who is not really fan of taking you in. They sell their house for starter and rent a small apartment. Most of the time, Botan is alone at home when he don't have a class and his siblings go home once in a while because of their work. The silence makes you crazy, he missed the loud he used to when he is at their house where his mother is cooking for dinner, his siblings are arguing and his father is watching news. He missed the old times and this silence makes him lonelier.
The old happy, cheerful, hyper and jolly Botan fades. His old self is buried also in the grave when his parents died. He can't see a future anymore, all the luck his been holding own is lost, all the laughter is washed away by the welling of his tears. Botan, the named known for a guy who conquers everything it is the name that wears a mask behind tears, a name for a guy who is once full of luck.
"Waaaah!!!!", a young boy cried because he want a lollipop yet he don't have money to buy. His mother came and comforted him, he smiled at her while being carried slicking his lollipop as they walk home. He saw his other siblings playing spiders in the backyard, he watched them play while his mother went to prepare dinner. After a while his father came home from work. The three of them hugged him and their father present each one of them a chocolate where he bought after work in the way home. Their mother said to brush their teeth after eating too much sweet and prepare for dinner. That is a perfect picture for a happy family that fades and changed into the picture of parents with blood flowing all over their body. Botan woke in the middle of the night felt relieved that it is just a dream. He went to the kitchen to drink a glass of water when he noticed that he's alone as always in the apartment.
After a week of his lost, Botan came back to his usual like nothing happened. He goes to school everyday but one thing is changed, he always come early before the first period start, he don't escape classes and sleep during lectures. He promised to himself that he will fulfill what his parents wished for him, what happened smacked him in the face to woke up in the reality. In the real world, you are alone, no one can help yourself but you. You need to be tough to conquer everything and if you're weak, you will loss. This is the real world we live in, a world that is dangerous, a world that shapes you into a tougher, stronger and braver army to fight your battle.
Botan is reviewing for a quiz when one of his brother came home and went directly to his room and sleep. He knew that there is something wrong with him, he thinks that his brother might be just tired at work and continue studying. The next morning, he woke up from a loud sound of things braking and two people arguing. He found his two siblings shouting at each other's face, at first he thought that it was just their usual argument until he heard one of them said that his other brother get his girl pregnant. Life is already hard for the three of them so how will they feed the baby and the mother without enough budget. His other brother is explaining yet the other is not listening to any of the explanation. Little did they know why this brother is so angry because he was be conned. He thought that it will bring them richness and live a luxury life after hearing from the other guy and saying that lots of people already tried it and became successful. He gave all his saving to that guy thinking that it will triple the prize yet in the end, the guy flew from far away taking all those money. Botan needs to pay for some school finances yet he can bring himself to tell them because of the things happened.
He work as a waiter and dishwasher in a fast-food chain to help for the finances. He start at eight in the evening until three in the morning and at seven, he goes to school so he rarely got enough sleep after doing both things at a time. His brother that is been conned went abroad where he believes the con- artist flew. While he's out of town, the other brother left home to live with his girl who is pregnant so in the end Botan is all alone in that apartment and he is sustaining his self through the money he got from working. It is been three months since he live alone, it is three months since he last saw his siblings. He wonder what might happen to those two, are they doing fine or are they struggling in the life they chose.
Kriiiiiiiiiiing Kriiiiiiiiiiiiing Botan woke from the loud noise coming from the telephone. He is still half-sleep when he answered the phone, after a minute he dropped it while the person in the other line is still talking. His brother who went abroad to chase the con-artist is found dead in a plane crush going back to the country. Now it is just the two of them left in the family, yet his other brother seems not to care and still let him stay alone in that apartment. After a month, the girl gave birth to a baby boy. Botan was called to stay with them and in return he will help in taking good care of the child. His brother is like the old times that is rarely going home so most of the times he is left with the girl.
It is been a month since Botan started living with his brother's family and working at the fast-food chain. Everything went smooth and look likes luck is coming back to his side. His grades are not falling down, the manager in his work is good to him and also his sister-in-law. He slowly rising after a deep fall and the sun is shining to his side.
The school hours is finished and Botan got home for a while before he go to his par-time job. He usually walk going to the place even it is further than where he is staying. On the way, there is this large container truck that is losing control on the road that hits everything it touches, everyone around it run but Botan can't move his feet on the ground like it is nailed. On the other side, there is this car that is running so fast that is against the law. The two hits each other and Botan went between them. After a minute, the container truck exploded with the car and Botan between them.
The ambulance came after the explosion yet it is too late for all the passengers of the two transportation and too Botan. The driver of the container van is said to be drank while driving and that causes the accident. Botan's whole body is burned and it is hard to identify him.
What really is luck? Don't rely on it, it will not guarantee you all your safety and you will not know whether it is good or bad until it happens to you. Luck is just a word use for those people that nothing good or bad is happening. It is just a belief that luck is always by your side.
Don't rely your luck to the stars, to the charms or to the round fruits. You are the one crating your own luck, you are the one creating your own destiny, they are just a guide and it doesn't mean that it is one hundred percent true. It is up to you whether you believe it or not. It is up to you to follow traditions and beliefs.
"Uwaaaaahhhhh!!! Uwaaaaah!!" "What can I do, the baby is not stopping in crying" "Uwaaahhhhh!!!" "Huh where is Botan, I can't do this by myself I still have lots of things to do" "Uwaaaahh!!!" "Can you stop crying, you're stressing me out!" "Uwaaahaha!!!" "Huh, you don't want to listen to your mom huh. My ear drums is already itching because of you I can't take this anymore I'm going insane" Then she hold the scissor tightly "There you go, now you will never cry again on me" her husband arrive from work the same night as that. "Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!! What did you do to our child!" "He don't stop crying and the sound is making me go crazy so I shut him permanently"