You Have A Problem With The Way You Think
Kim stared at her phone dumbfounded. In a daze, she walked back to her room. She least expected to hear what he said. She sat down to think about their situation. Had she really been wrong? Did she treat him poorly? Recalling what he had said, she thought back to the kiss. "If he kissed me and acted like I did.. would I like it?" Her answer made her realize she was at fault. Of course if a guy did that then he's a jerk. You can't leave a girl hanging like that. But he was a guy, right? Aren't they more used to rejection? Aren't they wired to scale over rejection from girls like nothing happened? Besides she didn't reject him, she was the one who initiated the kiss.
She had only kissed him and gotten moody because of certain problems she didn't wish to talk about and he did not understand. But thinking back, if he had been the one to kiss her and then treat her like a stranger, like she didn't exist, like she didn't matter, she would be offended. He would have been a rotten bastard to her, a jerk, a selfish person who would leave after getting what he wanted. After all if he wasn't sure of his feelings, why act on it? But all these and more is exactly what she did. She even attempted to sleep with him then ran away on her own after he left her hanging. If the reverse were the case, she would probably think he only wanted to sleep with her after which, leave her hanging. The normal hit-and-run popular with guys.
But is this really enough to ignore a person? She questioned. She was dealing with things of her own too. Her question would make a passer-by understand she wasn't in love with Carl. Can you possibly love someone and treat the person like he didn't matter to you? As she sat in her room, her roommate came in to see her in a foul mood. She wasn't someone who would interfere in someone else's business but since she's her roommate, her mood would eventually affect her. So she decided to butt in, just once. "Are you okay?" Rose asked with a frown.
"Yeah.. I mean do you think I was wrong?" She asked. Rose looked at her if to say 'how would I know what you're talking about?' Realizing she hadn't even told her the problem. Kim recounted the story. Rose observed her for a bit before commenting, "Do you know you have a problem with the way you think?" Sighing, she added, "You're much more selfish than I perceived. Anyway it's your problem." Rose said before lying on her bed. Kim was dazed, she wanted someone to tell her her fault. "You said I have a problem with the way I think, what do you mean?"
"Are you so blind, you can't see it or you're pretending to be ignorant?" Rose glared at her. "You certainly do not love him, let him be, don't dump your emotional garbage on him." She added. Kim was left speechless. She hadn't thought about love but at least she liked him, right? But emotional garbage? Wasn't that a little too harsh? She had difficulties of her own. "Oh..." Kim commented. Rose gave her the eye before picking up a book to read.
"I just.. have a lot to deal with." Kim said. "Deal with it don't bring it close to me." Rose said, flipping through the book. Kim did not understand that Rose did not want to talk anymore about her problem so she continued. "I just need time..." Rose rolled her eyes at her. "You didn't know you needed time when you kissed him?" Kim was quiet. She didn't know how to answer the question. She had always wanted to be with him, she wanted more than friendship. But now, she couldn't move forward anymore, she was stuck in a point in time. "I..." Rose immediately cut her off, "I don't need your explanation, neither do I care about it, you should go talk to someone that cares and don't rub your moodiness over this place."
Rose indeed had a sharp tongue, she doesn't care if you're hurt emotionally by her words, she would tell you the truth to your face. Kim sat down in shame, her hands played with her phone while she contemplated everything Rose said. Nobody actually cares.. she should talk to someone that actually did. The truth is that, if she told Carl her reasoning, he would probably kill his feelings for her. She was wrong, yet she was trying to justify her wrong by giving useless excuses. "Boys are wired to be rejected," what nonsense is that? Did she really not have compassion? It's clear she put herself first, but this way of thinking is dangerous. She doesn't acknowledge the hardship of others, she only thinks of herself. She tries to down play his feelings. To her, his hurt cannot be compared to hers. Even when she is wrong, rather than feel remorseful, she tries to justify the wrong.