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The Undying Star

A star? I wasn't even close to being something as beautiful. But... undying? Yes. I was. Since death never ever accepted me into its embrace. So what if I live this story to its end one more time? Just one last time. I want to feel it, living, rather than death. Only once. What awaits me at the end of this never-finished draft, I wonder... Is it the cure to my curse, or yet another rebirth?

daniz_ · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
125 Chs

Lior's world

Lior has always been curious about the world.

How does meat taste? What does touching water feel like? What is cold? What is pain? What did his master mean when saying that Lior was soft? When he said that being drenched under the rain felt pleasant? Do the others hear his master's voice the same he does? See the world the same way he does? How does touching other humans feel like?

But there was never a way for him to understand any of these. His abilities were too incomplete to understand the world the way he desired. He could play with animals sometimes, but that was in no way close to what he wanted. 

So he had no choice but to rely on his master's descriptions. 

"Cold is the opposite of warm. If there isn't warmth, then there is cold. Warm? It's how you feel when you're sleeping with me under the blanket. When you are scared and you shiver and hide beside me, you feel cold."

Then it must be really unpleasant.

"No, cold is also pleasant. It depends on the situation, you know. Warmth isn't always good either. Nothing in the world is absolute."

But his master is absolutely the best.

"My voice? I don't think there will be much difference between how you hear my voice and how the others do, since I put enough Aether in it for you to sense the whole vibration in the same tone when we talk through Aether, and when I talk normally... but the voices of the others are probably slightly different."

The others don't matter.

"No, meat doesn't taste that good, you're not missing anything special. Why do I like it so much? I like everything as long as they're eatable so..."

That day, master said he might eat Lior one day. Is what why he likes Lior?

"What the hell are you talking about? It's quite the opposite."

Lior doesn't understand.

"Soft? Fluffy? That's the way you are. Hmm, how to put it... How does it feel when you push my cheeks? Touch my hair? Something like that, but way better. Hm? What do I mean when I say you're cute? Well... Think of the loveliest thing you've ever seen and then imagine a version tenfold better than that. No, far better than tenfold."

Then he must resemble his master... but a prettier version? Lior couldn't think of anything prettier than that his master...

Still, Lior wanted to know more. 

He wanted to feel the world for himself. 

But how could he do so? 

Why couldn't he live like the others did? Lior didn't know what kind of existence he was to be cast away from the world like this. His master told him that he wasn't cast out, but the world wasn't ready yet to accept his existence. Since he was very unique and special, not everyone could notice him. He was a light, but not all eyes could understand his brightness. His master always called him his little light. He said he was a tiny spark of light at first, then developed to become the creature he was.

Lior didn't know what that meant, neither could he remember how he was in his first days of life. Thinking back to his oldest memory, he could only remember... warmth. Despite not knowing what cold was, he knew how it felt to be warm. As if he was born with that feeling etched into his being.

They were only hazy memories, but they were pleasant to remember. In all of those blurry scenes, he could hear his master's words, sense his gentle touch, and was wrapped in his warmth.

Despite being told that he was a blob of energy at first, Lior could unly remember his memories belonging to after he gained animal-like bodies. One of the first complete memories he had was of his master singing at him a lullaby. The voice wasn't as mellow as it always would. It was somewhat pained, shaking. He then opened his eyes instead of sleeping, finding himself in an alien land. Alone.

Once he found his master after a long, long, very long time, he appeared younger than he remembered him to be. His master told him that it's only been a few days, but Lior couldn't belive it so. How could all that alone time be considered as 'A few'? He also said that they'd just regressed. Lior didn't care about whether they'd regressed or anything else, he was one again with his master and that was enough. 

It took him a very long time to understand he was different from the others, and that his master too, was like him. It was as if this world didn't accept them, as if they were pushed aside and forced to always watch the world from the outside. But his master didn't agree with that. He kept telling him that he was special, so gradually, Lior accepted it as a fact. Maybe he really wasn't cast aside but just special, in a good way at that.

Perhaps, he started to accept it too at one point, that he shouldn't daydream about the world too much. 

But then, after a series of miraculous turns of events, he was given the chance to touch the dream. To venture into the world. To finally touch, smell, and sense everything by himself. 

Yet, after gaining the ability to enter this world just a bit, he found everything to be... not they way he imagined them. 

"It's been a few days, but little Lior still seems uncomfortable around us..."

He looked up at the figures staring down at him. Those eyes... those faces... expressions, they were all kind. The hand that caressed his head was... gentle, careful as it ever was... and the words were intended to soothe him. 

But Lior felt even more uncomfortable. 

-Mmm... Master...

The touch wasn't how he thought it would be. It wasn't warm like his master's. The voices of the others weren't the same as he used to hear them. The surface of the table was unpleasant to touch, it was... cold. The smell in the room was thick, and the people's attention on him was too much. Different sounds entered is ears at the same time, all too loud for him to bear. The colors were more vivid. The weight of those fingers on his body was too heavy. 

Too much.

It was too much. Way too much information at once. 

"Uh, Lior? Is he scared?"

"Doctor, maybe he's doesn't like us yet..."

The two girls pulled back, but not much changed for Lior. He shook his body, and took a glance at his surroundings, before covering his eyes with his front paws. Even his paws felt strange. 

-Urgh, master...

He called out, but no response came. Lior curled his body up and waited for a while with his eyes closed, but again, no one came to pick him up. Where was his master? Why wasn't he responding?

"Are you looking for Ian?" A somewhat familiar voice entered his ears, though not the one he was waiting for. "He said he's going to take a shower, remember?"

-Uh...

He did indeed say something like that. 

Lior jolted up, hopping down the table and sprinting towards the washroom. He pushed his body through the small gap under the door and ran towards his master. 

-Masterrr why did you leave me alone?? I called you so many times!

Lior was ready to jump atop his master's shoulder, but he halted at once. Something was in between him and his master. The bathtub in front of him... It was filled with water. 

'Water...'

It too must feel strange to the touch.

-Hmm? Lior? 

Lior raised his head and gazed at the back of his master, at the huge, red and ugly burnt mark on the left side of his back which he just recently knew was a brand for slaves, at the numerous whip marks etched on his flesh, and the one ugly wound that looked like a wound left by a blade. They weren't his favorite scene, but were all the same he remembered them to be. 

His master turned towards him, tilting his head a bit. His gaze was a bit sunken, like in the last few days, but aside from that, he looked the same. His pale face, thin lips, the silky dark-blue hair, all the way they used to be.

-I-I was scared. You left me alone, I told you not to!

-I told you to follow me if you want?

-Uh... Y-You did? 

He was too busy dealing with the world to listen to his master.

"Alright, come here." His master spoke aloud, his voice was still the same. "Are you afraid of water? It's alright, let me show it to you."

Lior stood there, still. His master's hands grasped his body and raised him up. The touch was as warm and gentle as he remembered it to be. His master moved him toward himself, before slowly taking him near the water surface. 

"Don't worry, it's warm."

Lior wordlessly gazed at the bathtub. His body descended down and his paws touched the water before his whole body got drenched in the tub. 

-Uhhh...

It too was strange. Some liquid surrounded his body. It felt heavy, but light, warm, yet cold. The mixture of all of them were making his head dizzy. He's touched water before, but that never felt like this... Everything has changed since he started using mana to feel the world.

His master's hands but didn't let go of him. They moved his body up and down, slowly, stocked its wet fur, and covered his ears so as not to get water in them. His fingers stroked his head repeatedly, and his palms supporter the child's floating figure. The human then smiled at him. 

"How is it? Warm, yes?"

Warm? It was indeed warm. 

-Not as warm as Master...

Lior wiggled his body and swam forward. The wet body of his master was too slippery for him to climb, so he just stuck to his arm, resting his head on his master's skin. 

'Everything is warm as long as papa is around.'