Arc 8: How to Start a schism 101
"I swear, Boss. She said turn RIGHT after going up the stairs!" Uno was reprimanding me.
"Ha, ha. Don't be so silly, Uno. You should clean your ear holes. She clearly said turn left after we go up the stairs. Right, guys?" I turned to my other companions.
They all shook their heads in unison. Was I that bad in directions or listening to people?
"Why didn't you guys tell me earlier?" I scratched his head.
"We did. A million times," Uno replied with a slightly annoyed tone.
"Alright, let's turn. We shouldn't be too far from that painting anyway if we just go the other way," I suggested.
"Eh, forget it, Boss. I don't want to drag you guys down. This is my shame. From now on, I want you guys to call me Daggerless! I am serious, do it! Call me Daggerless!" The madman who called himself Daggerless announced.
"Didn't you buy a dagger from Asha? That mean you're contradicting your name," Uno asked Daggerless.
"No, that dagger was part of me. Like I said, that dagger was given to me by that hot demoness! She promised that if I still had the dagger when I meet her, she'd marry me! Daaamn it! Her jugs were so beautiful, the smile she gave just gives me Chaos Butterflies! Daaamn itt! Just do it! Call me Daggerless!" He cried.
"Wait, how big are we talking about it?" I asked. Daggerless made a motion indicating the size. The entire group just went silent.
"Alright, boys. Separate into groups. Tour as usual, but actively search for that damned dagger!" I ordered. I hadn't gotten so serious since a few centuries ago, but this was now personal. I was getting my vassal, and close friend, that booty he deserved. I would not let him be named Daggerless for long.
Uno, Daggerless and I went to a section of the Great Cathedral we didn't go to last time. We had a priest to guide us into this section. Apparently this part was a section devoted to some random Saint I couldn't care.
Daggerless moved closer to me and whispered, "Hey, Boss. It's been a while now, but I've been thinking..."
"Is it about your dagger?" Uno asked.
"No, it's less important. I'm just wondering, people have said it differently for a while now, but how do you pronounce Aon?" Dagger whispered to us.
"I pronounce it as 'I-on'. Huh, that's weird. Uno, how do you pronounce it?" I asked Uno.
"I don't know. Let's ask the priest," Uno suggested.
"Excuse me, how do you pronounce Aon?" I asked the priest who was guiding us.
"Hm? Simple question, it's actually pronounced E-on," He said nonchalantly.
Another priest approached us and said, "No, it's pronounced as I-on. It's said in the holy scripture."
"No, you uneducated barbarian, it's E-on. Which holy scripture is it? I call it heresy! I demand to see that scripture in the Hall of Judgement!" Another priest approached us.
"It's obviously I-on! Saint Geraldine would've probably said I-on!" Another one joined in.
"That would be heresy to try to make Saint Geraldine sound like a moron! It's E-on! It's obviously the way the Goddess wanted it to!"
"No, you blabbering buffoon! It's I-on. Repeat after me 'I' then 'ON'. Do you even Western Commons?"
"Why make it two syllables when you can make it be said in one straight syllable? Why must the choirs of Aon suffer?"
A huge fight started among the crowd. From pilgrims to the guards to the priests, they started taking sides. We had to look for Daggerless' dagger so we quickly left the hall to leave the crowd.
"This sucks, Boss. We'll never find the dagger at this rate…" Daggerless dejectedly said.
"You shouldn't give up. We'll find it. We'll erase the one who stole your dagger from existence," Uno said as small black smoke started to come out of his winged helmet. When Uno gets serious, his entire body starts to burn with a black flame and his voice gets raspy.
As we were about to leave the hall, a man with black robes approached us, "Come with me and there won't be any trouble."
A member of a criminal syndicate? We won't back down to injustice! I signaled to Uno and he got my message.
Before the man had realized it, Uno was already behind him. Uno black gauntlet landed hard on the side of the man's neck, knocking him out. We left him to be taken care of by the guards and we continued on our way.
"Hey, guys! The people of the E-ons knocked out an Inquisitors!"
"Filth! It was obviously those I-on dogs!"
No matter how far we go, more people started fighting. We went to another hall and bumped into some of my companions.
"Did you guys find anything?" I asked.
"I asked around, a priest found a dagger that looks like Daggerless' and gave it to the guards. Then from what I got from the guards, the Inquisitors took it from them," He said.
This guy was my master spy until he became the master of gossiping behind my back. His talent includes spying, stalking, gossiping about my weird 2nd left rib bone (it is not weird, I swear), coercion and interrogation. I was not surprised he managed to get all that information in such a short time. After a thousand years, you just figure out how everything clicks, I supposed.
"Who are the Inquisitors?" I asked him.
"They're supposed to be the elites of the guards of this city. They wear completely black clothes," He explained.
"Oh." "Oh." "Oh." All three of us commented.
"Well, too late for that. You guys want to raid the Inquisitors?" Daggerless suggested.
"That's a bit too extreme. We could just file a Lost and Found," I said. Once we found all our companions, we went to the guard's office within the inner sections of the Great Cathedral.
When we arrived at the frontdesk, we found a woman in a red dress working there and we explained our problem to her.
"So, you're looking for a dagger with this mark?" She asked.
"Yes, that's right."
"Give me a minute, Sir." She told us as she left the room.
"I don't know, Boss. Maybe we should've given up and just toured around. Maybe we would've even found my dagger then. Plus I have a bad feeling about this place," Daggerless told me.
"Nonsense. I'm sure from here on, we're going to head straight to your dagger," I told Daggerless.
"I hope so…" Daggerless remarked as he sighed.