PARTY HALL
GAIL PoV
"This is awkward."
"Yep, like who would have thought right?" I quickly reply to Arian leaving behind a weary sigh, the ambivalence of my crazy emotions not allowing me to be either happy or sad. I am honestly glad that Arian seems to be taking the mate news really well. I am surprised that he did not corner me and try to reject me before anyone could find out. I want to move away , I want to move away from this pack and my family, well specifically my mother but as long as she is here then all of them are a package deal I am still not willing to purchase. I want. . . . wanted my mate to be someone of humble beginnings or anyone who had nothing they found worthy in this pack and hopefully they would have agreed to leave with me, for the sake of the bond I was willing to not reject my mate as soon as I saw them but to instead convince them to move with me to another place or country just anywhere away from this pack. I wanted to leave so bad, to run away from the constant storms that I kept facing.
I am normally not a storm chaser, I never was but when the new Terra came into my life I have been thinking I can do this, then I would think I can't ,then I would convince myself that I can absolutely and will one day show my mother just how much she has hurt me. I would let her know of how she had mentally broken me to a point where I can never see myself as anything but disgusting, how I am afraid to try and do things with people because if your mother already thinks nothing of you then everyone else probably thinks the same way. How I couldn't face crowds or be around people without feeling nauseous , extremely cautious and light headed at all times because I thought they would call me out for the trash I was. How I try to keep my appearance and environment clean at all times as I fear that they might smell my filth.
I have told myself that I can and will show her just how I am almost became mentally crippled just because of her words. I wanted to do that , but every time she opened her mouth I still coward away and I chose to run. I am always running, but maybe I should take a break. If I don't face her, I will never stop running and it would somewhat be a shame for my kids to not meet their grandfather , I am sure my father would be a good one...I don't know about Ray but I guess with him we will see as time goes, for now he isn't a terrible brat as he always was.
"So how are you feeling?" Arian asks, turning to face me a little while still keeping his eyes on the road. We decided to go check out the party hall since staying indoors would only make me overthink more and Arian is obviously in a predicament, he seems to be battling his own demons and although he doesn't say it with his mouth, I can tell he is still worried about the our bond. If Terra doesn't come back, will we ever be able to love each other without being spiritually connected?. He is obviously a great guy but he is also clearly the type to not even show a bit of his true emotions without a little push. That push of cause being the mate bond.
"I don't know. Hollow?. Empty. Tired...you know, the usual I just lost my wolf feelings." I reply sarcastically . I am not a joker like Arian, but it is obvious that I am currently feeling like crap so I don't know Arian!.
"Look, I know that this is not a very ideal situation for you either, but can we talk about something else apart from my wolf for a minute? Like the weather, your coronation or maybe even what you are going to wear like anything except Terra . If that conversation is brought up I feel like I am going to really break down.I am trying really hard to not loose my mind as it is, so please let us not talk about my wolf until we have met the doctor. " I say to Arian honestly. There are many times in life when someone asks if you are okay and you have held in for so long to try to at least act okay but the moment they ask that question, everything becomes so real, so fast and the pressure of that reality just swallows you up into one weeping mess.
"I will wear a black suit, gold cuff links, black shit, no neck tie. I think I told my mum no cake at the event but that is all I know about the party. We will have only warriors attending as I have already told you because of the current rouge attacks. My father will head the ceremony of cause and my mother will also be attending, she was once a fighter too so dad thinks it will be okay If she went. My sister and her husband and daughter are moving in after the ceremony, their pack doesn't have strong defence so my father thought it is a good idea that they stay with us for the mean time. Wouldn't want to loose another child right?. Corey and the rest will be guarding you. . . not because you lost your wolf, but he already figured that you might be my mate a while back and volunteered to protect you if need be, I didn't think it was necessary at the time but I feel like now it might come in handy. The coronation is an important day of my life but it is also a trap set for those blood thirsty bastards!" Arian says in one long summary while still focusing on the road, I think only a minute now and we will be at the event hall.
" Did you just say no cake!?" I ask in shock.
"Geez Blanco, I have said soo many things and the only thing you heard was no cake?"
"Well, what can I say? I am happy that the guys will try to have my back even though they might think its to just protect me since I am the newbie but then again , if I die, I di-" Before I could finish my sentence Arian makes an abrupt turn into the event hall parking lot , his car tires screeching as he forces them to a stop.
"Don't ever fucking say that again Blanco! Don't ever fucking say that okay?!, you can leave the pack or do whatever the shit you want but don't say that type of shit in my presence ever again! You are not to speak of death like it's some free ticket to paradise. You stay here with me, even if we are apart but you stay here...here where I can find you even if you tried to disappear. You stay alive Blanco. . .you must!" He yells. His voice breaking as the words flow out of his mouth as he tightens his hands around d the staring wheel, if that was someone's neck, their head would have hit the ground by now.I didn't really think my words would shatter him like this ... I am used to shit talking myself and no one ever reacts like this, well normally there isn't anyone around to hear me but I didn't think he would take it this bad. I don't know what to do so I slowly reach out my hand to Arian and touch his now white knuckles. He sharply turns his gaze towards me, and his light golden brown eyes that I have now learned are amber angrily lock into my blue ones. He intensely stares me down before moving to grab my shirt by the its neck, pulling me so close to him that I can smell the caramel mocha that he just had.
"Never again." he says to my face before letting go of my now wrinkled sweat shirt he gets out of the car and smashes the door as he goes . I am left there a little heated and confused as to how to react to all of this...but I am certain of one thing.
This is going to be one long day.