Choosing Death
GAIL POV
"What?!"...Arian exclaimed.
" I want to get out of here and settle with the humans or anywhere away from here after I find my mate. If I join the pack defence team, I will be bound to this place and forced to stay or worse, I could die before I even get the chance to leave." I say with a froggy voice while fixing my hair hoping that I look better than I did a minute ago. That was embarrassing...to say the least. I Gail Blanco just totally broke down in front of Arian Maw, the fucking animalistic ,psycho like soon to be Alpha of the Red Maw Pack!.....I am definitely bewitched. He is definitely never going to let this one go.
"TELL ME ABOUT IT!..BUT I'M SURPRISED YOU CHOSE HIM OF ALL PEOPLE TO CRY IN FRONT OF....I GUESS EVERYONE IS BOUND TO BREAK BEFORE THEIR ALPHAS."..my wolf Terra comments.
"I don't know Terra, maybe he uses magic. I feel so weak around him. I feel like I've been holding my head under water and when he is around , I can suddenly breath again. I'm still under water , but I'm breathing just fine. I don't know if I should hate him or just like him like most of my friends...He isn't my friend though."...I quickly reply my wolf letting out a sad sigh towards the end.
"WE WILL SAVE THIS CONVERSATION FOR TONIGHT, YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN BREATH BUT THE GUY WANTS TO DROWN YOU AGAIN! HE LITERALLY JUST SUGGESTED THAT YOU WILLINGLY DIE!!"..Terra roars.
" Calm down , I will handle this" I once again reply to Terra hoping to calm him down.
"Okay!" ...Arian suddenly says in monotone, his words seeping through my little mind talk making me quickly raise my eyes in shock causing my messy curls to once again fall back. So much for trying to look presentable.
"What!..W-What do you mean okay?"..I ask him, my stuttering mess of a voice filled with confusion and deep curiosity.
"I will grant you permission to leave . As you know, I will be ordained this coming Friday evening, after that I will have some power, my father and beta will of cause help me until I find my mate but I will still have power to grant you your freedom. Whenever you need to, you and your mate can leave the pack.I will even help you find a better one if you want. That is, if you of cause promise to work with me from tomorrow until the time when we are done with school ..so three months and you will be done, I will find another scout during this time." He answers , still with that emotionless face of his, while his hands rest comfortably in his black leather jacket.
"What if I die?"....I ask in a low whisper unconsciously settling myself on a snag (dead tree) and burrowing my head in my hands...those tears took a bit of a toll on me.
"Don't worry, I will train you and all the warriors will have your back.You have worked hard to show that you are capable. If you keep hiding in the shadows , no one will ever know how strong you are.I could give you additional training in the name of self defence and no one will be shocked to see you fight like that, the council won't even think you consulted with a witch or something, you know how they can get paranoid. Additionally you also get to do everything you want these three months, joining sports at school being one of them to further improve your skills."..Arian says ,clearly noticing my distress, but he was still putting on that stone face of his. The one I was hoping to not see today, earlier when he pulled me into himself and held me, I caught a glimpse of someone who knows what it is like to be broken so I didn't argue or fight back and let myself to be held and comforted just once since I was three.... but now , he just looks like Arian Maw...the future Alpha. *sigh*
" I GUESS WE CHOOSE DEATH!...NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT..YOU GOTTA DIE ONCE TO HAVE THE WILL TO LIVE!!" .. Terra suddenly interjects but I ignore him , he is clearly a bigger kiss ass than I am. He is just excited cause we will finally get to run on the track field, I am too ..I am only just a little nervous.
" Are you not mad?" I ask Arian suddenly while looking up at him trying to connect my eyes with his through my disheveled hair hoping to at least find the truth in his next words. I have just asked to leave the pack cause of selfish reasons , my mental health does come first but I could choose another way to fight my battles instead of running away, I even broke pack rules in the name of self development which could have literally ended with me being canned and rid of my status as part of the pack as my presence in the field could have led to rouges killing me or one of them recognising me and coming for my family or friends.
" As an Alpha...I am deeply pissed. As another wolf to the other, I understand. So I won't hold it against you. There are things I have done cause I was mad, or pushed into a corner that I am not proud of , but if time repeats itself , I would do it again and again, and again..." Arian says with an expression of someone lost in a far away land while looking at his hands and folding them into a fist, his knuckles turning white from the pressure and his last words fading into a thin murmur . He bows his head avoiding my eyes and I understand why he wants to hide. His demons are bigger than mine. Out of consideration, I lower my gaze and start finding the orange and brown leaves entertaining..
Damn!...are all teenagers depressed? One of us has to at least be living a fulfilling life!...right?! . I think to myself while throwing a small pebble I've just found, flinging it only a few feet away from where we were.
Wait...now that I think about it. Arian used to have a sister called Clara who was attacked and killed by a rouge. She was only a year younger than Arian, fifteen I think. Rumour has it her body was dismembered and scattered near the place where her friends left her waiting for Arian to come pick her up. Some rouges always target Alphas or their children, I guess that day was just one of their lucky ones and I can't say the same for Arian. Finding his sister like that, maybe this is why he needs me. The more skilled wolves he has the more rouge attacks he could prevent. That is not the end though, He apparently did find the culprit and brought him back to the cells, everyday he went and cut off a part of him until the rouge died, as if that wasn't brutal of a murder for a sixteen year old, He sharpened one of the bones belonging to that rouge found his old pack and killed its family members with that one bone... (yes his anger and hatred goes that deep)....apparently his last words to the Alpha of that pack was " I just got rid of a bad tree for you, it won't ever bear poisonous fruit. If you have a problem with my actions you know where to find me" ...No one said or did anything. The Alpha was weak and he could only burn his people's corpses and hope everyone has learnt a lesson to never mess with the Maws. Dude sometimes gives me the creeps, but of cause only his mate will be able to somehow love him with all his flaws and claws.
Goddess bless the future Lunar.
The wolves in the pack all smile with him, but they also walk on egg shells hoping to not anger him. I am sure he noticed...He just plays it off and continues to pretend like nothing is wrong ...sometimes he looses it , but it has never been as bad as that month.
" How long do I have to think ?" .. I ask him suddenly breaking from my short memory lane.
Arian looks up at the sky then down at his wrist watch....He looks at me and pulls on a playful smirk. His golden brown eyes that look like a calm winter blaze under the kiss of the little speck of sun rays peeking through the trees above us stares at me in a daring way....he looks hot.
Well shit..this doesn't look good...could I perhaps be a tiny bit attracted to him? ..No shit!!..
"WE HAVE OUR MATE TO THINK ABOUT ..DON'T GET OFF TRACK GAIL"...my wolf Terra says disturbing my wild thoughts. I unconsciously softly bob my head up and down agreeing with him. I don't like Arian. At least not that way. I think.
" It is not even afternoon yet, so you have until six this evening to think. Until then..."
" I'll take it . I will be your scout"... I quickly stand and say before Arian could finish his sentence..
"Good decision Omega!" ...Arian commends proudly without hesitation. I swear I almost saw him pull on a genuine smile. It was just a ghost of it though, hopefully one day we could be friends who smile happily around each other. I don't know Arian that well, our worlds never collide. We are as far from each other as the east is from the west..never meeting. I know of his existence but I don't think he knows me...after today maybe a bit ...but I hope to be friends with him. He seems trust worthy.kind of .
" Well Gail Blanco , welcome to the warrior pack ,I will mostly only be going on rouge hunts and attacks with you, the guard duty is not ours to deal with...oh and I could shake your hand but I think I have crossed enough boundaries for the day..." He says letting out a low chuckle and rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand, his motion causing his jacket and black shirt to lift a little , showing just a glimpse of his waist line. The man is gifted...I could stare at that all da...
"ENOUGH GAIL!..WE HAVE EMBARRASSED OURSELVES ENOUGH FOR THE DAY. STOP LOOKING AT THE POOR GUY!" I can feel Terra comment with an exasperated expression. I guess I will never get personal space with another literal voice in my head..*sigh*
" Thank you..for today and for giving me an opportunity to kind of prove my worth and for not handing me over to the grey heads ..." I reply back suddenly feeling shy remembering that little incident from earlier and trying to ignore the fact that I might have just undressed him with my mind , I don't have a mirror but I am sure I am as red as tomatoes, I hope Arian thinks my blush is the aftermath of my little breakdown. Damn my pail skin!!
"Tomorrow morning, come to the training camp. Bring only your training clothes, you can decide if you want to stay at home or share with me at the training camp later.. I am currently the only one without a roommate. I will head off now. With your sneaking skills, I am sure you know your way back. See you tomorrow mutt!"...Arian says as he turns into his big wolf form and starts sprinting through the forest going to only Goddess knows where...I am not even bothered by him calling me mutt or Omega anymore...sounds cute..
Well..Hello new life..
" YOU MEAN DEATH!" my wolf Terra comments and I just ignore him, I know that he is excited too. I start on my tracks heading back towards the ice cream shop, I need something to calm my nerves, crying helps you feel relieved but it also leaves you feeling exhausted. I can't wait to see Ray's expression tomorrow though...that stinky brat!
"Who's in the team now Bitch?!...."