CHAPTER 6: Bittersweet

BELLA POV.

When I got home, Kayla was not home. I don't care where the fuck she would be. I tossed my bag on the chaise sectional couch.

I stumbled into the kitchen, my mind racing as I searched for a distraction. I grabbed a glass, filled it with cold water, and downed it in one go. I felt a little better, the cold liquid helping to cool my racing thoughts. But then I noticed the bottle of wine in the fridge, and a thought occurred to me. Maybe a glass of wine would help me to relax, to take the edge off of the tension I was feeling. I hesitated for a moment, but then I found myself pouring a glass.

Today has been a rollercoaster, from not winning the PAA Grand Award to seeing the Ex who beat me to it.

Ho-seok is back. I sniffed back the tears streaming down my face. My glamorous make-up was ruined but who cares. I can open twenty make-up studios but I can't undo my past.

I wanted to ask for one wish, just one wish. That should be going back to the past and correcting some things I messed up. I ruined Ho-seok and I'm not sorry for it and I will never be sorry for ruining him.

Maybe if I happened to time travel to my past, then I would erase the scene where we met and fell in love. I would have made sure it never happened.

I swig on my wine as I take myself down the memory lane, though it isn't worth it, nevertheless, I can't help it since the situation right now calls for it. Life with Ho-seok wasn't how I planned it but I was left with no choice.

I took a deep breath, letting the scent of the wine fill my nostrils. I brought the glass to my lips, feeling the cool liquid slide down my throat. I took another sip, and then another, and then I stopped. I set the glass down, and the reality of what I was doing hit me like a ton of bricks. I was using alcohol to numb my emotions, to avoid facing the feelings I was having. And I realized that it wasn't the right way to deal with my problems but for does that matter? I'm already messed up.

As I closed my eyes, I could feel the memories of our first date washed over me. I remember how nervous I was, and how excited I was to be getting to know him. I remembered the fun we had, the laughter we shared, and the way we seemed to connect so easily. I could feel the warmth of the memories, but as I lingered on them, I began to feel the shadow of sadness. Because I knew that it would never be like that again.

And the thought of it was like a knife twisting in my heart.

I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes, and I tried to push the memories away, to replace them with something happier. But there was no use.

The hurt and pain were too strong, and I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I could feel my heart breaking, knowing that I would never have that happiness again. I wished I could turn back the clock, to relive those days when everything was perfect. But I knew that was impossible, and the reality of the present was too hard to bear.

I tried to push everything at the back of my mind.

I know everyone will blame me but does that matter? I am Kathryn Howard and I will always be Kathryn Howard.

If Ho-seok is back to make trouble, then I am ready to return the same energy. I'm no longer the weaker Isabella they know. I'm now a full-fledged lady, who is living her life and have a career to protect.

He was the devil in this bittersweet relationship, but why paint me as the black one? In fact, he ruined everything, everything about us. Why should I suffer for his bad deeds? Just why?

The things I said just to justify my drastic actions.

I'm in a total mess for real.

I was lost in my thoughts, my mind reeling from the painful memories. I didn't know how long I had been sitting there, but it felt like an eternity. Time seemed to stand still, and I felt like I was stuck in a never-ending cycle of sadness and regret. But then I heard the sound of the door opening, and a ray of light shone into the room. And I looked up to behold Kayla standing there, with Ha-na holding onto her hand, whilst smiling at me.

Kayla's smile was like a warm ray of sunshine, melting away the darkness in my heart. Ha-na cooed and reached out for me, and I took her in my arms, feeling her soft skin and delicate fingers. And in that moment, I felt my heart begin to heal. The presence of Kayla and Ha-na was like a soothing balm, and I felt my worries and troubles start to fade away. I was still hurting, but I knew that with their love and support, I could get through anything.

As I looked down at the baby girl in my arms, I saw her big brown eyes staring up at me, filled with curiosity and innocence. And then she spoke, her voice sweet and clear.

"Why are you sad?" I wasn't surprised, knowing who Ha-na was, she always noticed the slightest changes. But then I thought of a response, one that would make sense to her and hopefully put a smile on her face. "I'm not sad anymore," I said. "I'm happy because I'm with you." I ruffled her hair.

A smile spread across Ha-na's face, her eyes lighting up like two little stars. "You happy?" she asked, her voice full of wonder. And I couldn't help but laugh, her innocence and joy were contagious.

"Yes, I'm very happy," I nodded. "I'm happy because I have you and Kayla here with me." Ha-na's smile grew even wider, and she began to smile happily, completely content and at peace.

And in that moment, I knew I had found a little bit of happiness again.

She is such a lovely baby girl. Not gonna lie Kayla is doing a good job taking care of her.

"Congratulations." Kayla offered me with a smile.

I couldn't help but smile back, even though I knew it didn't crossed my heart. I don't want Kayla to know what happened. I know she is suspecting my teary eyes and I'm praying inwardly for her not to ask but "pewwpewpew! Who am I kidding?

"You were crying." She raised her brows and I hurriedly shut her up by diverging the question immediately.

"Ha-na looks tired.

You two visited Kiddie Fun World, right? She nodded and I took a look at the bundle of joy whose eyes already dropping and I knew she must be really tired.

"Let me have her." Kayla extended her hands and I had no option but to hand over Hana who was battling to stay awake.

"Go cutie pie, let Kayla put you to bed. I love you." I pecked her cheeks before Kayla took her to get her ready for the night.

She is such a lovely big baby.

Once Kayla was away, I went back to my swigging since it seemed like it was the only thing available to numb my emotions.

I'm not the alcohol type but right now judging from how I'm gulping it like water. The velocity was alarming for someone who has zero alcohol tolerance.

"Ho-seok can go to hell for the second time." I amusingly cussed out. Laughing foolishly at my own words.

Yooooooooo!!! Don't blame me, it's the alcohol taking effect.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder, a gentle and comforting touch. I opened my eyes, and Kayla was looking at me with compassion and understanding. She didn't say a word, but her presence was enough to make me feel a little bit better. I knew she was there for me, and that I wasn't alone in my pain. And as I looked into her eyes, I felt a glimmer of hope. I knew that I could get through this and that I could heal in time.

"Wanna talk about it? Kayla asked, taking the wine glass from me and clearing the table before taking a seat closer to me.

"Hell, nawrr!!! I nodded coyly with a pout.

She took my hands into hers and I stared tearily at her.

"It's okay." She pulled me into a hug and the remaining emotions I had been holding back since I saw Ho-seok came flooding like the ocean dam. I wept like never before on her shoulder.

Not until Kayla hugged me, that I realized just how much I needed a comfort shoulder.

Kayla was the kind of friend who was always there for me, no matter what. She was the kind of person who would drop everything to be by my side when I needed her. And I knew she would do the same for me now. I could see her face in my mind, the way her eyes would light up when she saw me.

And I could hear her voice, reassuring and soothing, telling me that everything would be okay. With her by my side, I knew I could make it through anything.