The Bastard Named Adityo Joseph

"Hey, you're a freshman aren't you? Oops, sorry, my bad. Freshwoman, I mean. Can I get to know you?"

I still remember the moment so vividly. His soft voice reached my ears. I was sitting on a long bench, right under a big shady tree, enjoying the birds singing and the refreshing breeze howling. I still remember everything about him, about the person who asked me to meet him that afternoon.

"Of, course. My name is Sandra!" I replied shaking his hand. Giving my hand to a handsome man with a sturdy body. His long hair was neatly tied and his good-looking face was perfect. He is very charismatic even though he only wore a simple outfit. A t-shirt and jeans that were torn at the knees. A man with perfect proportions, who instantly captured all my attention.

"San, can you accompany me to the toilet, please?" One of my friends cut our conversation. Holding my arm and run away from that man. I went to follow my friend, even though my heart was still attached to that man. His figure is so extraordinary that it left a deep impression on my heart. He was the first man I was so curious about.

"Sandra, don't go near your seniors! We are still a freshman in the university. If you get to know the wrong person, you can be kidnapped by the private," said Cathy, my first friend in the architecture department.

Nobody blamed her, because Cathy was 100% right. A freshman is vulnerable to being kidnapped by the private. FYI, 'Private' is a term here for students who have studied for a long time but do not graduate until they are close to their educational limit. Tee private community has a strange hobby. They like kidnapping freshman who is still innocent to be manipulated. It's not like a big crime or what so ever. They never ask for ransom. They just...you know... asshole who bullied freshman. At least, they kidnap somebody to clean their room, or ask... um, no... force us to help their assignments, however, the university does protect us, the new students, freshman, from 'private' like them to avoid unwanted incidents. And at that time, the man I met, was one of the students who was famous for his 'private' title.

Yes, his name is Adityo Joseph, everybody called him Tyo, a student who doesn't have any classmates anymore because all of his friends already graduated. A student who is famous for being 'almost' dropped out of the architecture department. And if he didn't graduate in the design studio one more time, for sure, he would leave without any degree. His luck at university wasn't as good as he looked, but I didn't care. To me, he is still amazing, he captured my heart from the first time I saw him. He was my first love. Love at first sight.

But my bad luck didn't start on that day, it all started from the general course.

"Um, you're Sandra right?" the words I heard from the bench in the back row.

I turned my head and saw his happy face. "Hi," I greeted him with a smile.

"Hello, my name is Adityo, just call me Tyo."

That was the beginning of my bad luck. In logical subject course. The class where he had to revise his bad number and I was a freshman who had to take the course. Yes, only the two of us were students from the architecture department in that class, no other architecture students. At first, I thought it was my luck. Getting to know a guy I liked from the first time I saw him. But sadly all these beautiful dreams will end in the abyss of sadness.

Yes, we became close, a very very close friend. He introduced me to the campus environment. The location of the lecture hall, the location of the administration room, good food references in the cafeteria, the library, how to borrow books and what books should I borrow, to how to deal with killer lecturers, were all suggestions from him. And for his help, my grades are brilliant, in contrast to his grades which are getting worse and worse.

I still remember how I tried to call him every day just to cheer him up. Yes, I sincerely help him, hope he can finish college in this heavy faculty. He is not a lazy person, he has tried with all his strength to become a better person. It's just... his parents' divorce has left a deep wound in his heart. These problems got bigger and bigger until he went crazy and led to severe depression. It brought him to the lowest point in his life, the point where he was no longer able to do what he had to do. He abandoned all his assignments, and Tyo didn't care about his future anymore.

I know, all that burden feels so heavy on his shoulders. One thing I am grateful for, no matter how heavy the burden is, he always shares it with me. Make me the only place to share, lean on, and make me feel needed. Until one day, suddenly he came to my studio, took me to a cafe, gave me a bouquet of beautiful flowers, and confessed his feelings.

"Sandra, I love you. Please, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked with his gentle voice. The words that made me fly to heaven even that day the sky is gray and rain. Ah, the most beautiful moment I can remember when I think of him. I even remember the song that was playing in the cafe, yes, the melody. The melody of the misty song which heard so soft and sometimes sounds sad.

"Look at me, I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree

And I feel like I'm clingin' to a cloud, I can't understand...

I get misty, just holding your hand

Walk my way, And a thousand violins begin to play

Or it might be the sound of your hello, That music I hear

I get misty, whenever you're near"

Yes, in that dark atmosphere, Tyo made me happy That day was the best day of my life. I'm happy just because it's him. He love me, and he promised to be mine. Unfortunately, those days didn't last so long. It was just the blink of an eye, and he was out of sight.

I was in the toughest time of his life. Faithfully accompanied by his side. Have you ever dated a depressed person? Honestly, it almost drives me crazy. His emotions are unstable, sometimes he yells at me, sometimes he gets angry for no reason, sometimes he cries and regrets, everything he does will only hurt my heart. Should I give up? No, I'm not giving up, I'm holding on because I know, all these bad things will change over time. No matter how great the rain, someday it will stop and replace with a beautiful rainbow. I can't leave him in the rain if I want to see the rainbow with him.

Never the slightest thought in my mind, that I want to leave him. Maybe it's love, which makes everyone do incredibly stupid things. Including doing almost all his assignments that he can't complete. Yes, I remember how I had to do the assignments for two architecture students at the same time. My job and his job. I remember how stressed I was at that time. Let alone sleep time, sometimes even miss my meal. I remember at that time, in the silence of the night, I just want to cry, but I can't. Hahaha...so sad, isn't it? I admit I'm pathetic. At that time, I didn't even have time to cry. I'm so pathetic.

But don't think what I did was in vain. The results of my hard work paid off. The results of the sweat and tears that I shed, produced something very good. Tyo graduated with satisfactory grades. His final project was successful, and for the first time, he make his parents proud. I was so happy when I saw the light of life coming back on my man's face. Illuminating his face, making the man I love return to my arms again.

On graduation day, he put his arm around me, he didn't even let go of his hand from mine. He asked me to take a picture with his family. Like a happy family. His parents smiled, and in the middle of the camera shot, he kiss my lips. Stealing my first kiss, made my heart beat faster than usual. Even the camera knows I was so happy. It captures the moment for the two of us. Even though my face is so awkward when his lips kiss mine, every time I see that photo, I smile happily. Until one day, the feeling changed. It is not the same anymore. Time flies so fast and now, that photo just leaves a painful scar.

Yes, after graduation, he left me like useless things. Tyo no longer replied to my messages, let alone picked up my call. He disappeared like the earth swallowed his existence. I tried everything. I tried to contact his friends, but they didn't give me any answer. He was never at his house. Social media? Please. How many direct messages do I have to send him every day just to ask how he's doing. I'm scared. I'm afraid his depression will return and make me lose him forever. But what do I get for the thing I've done?

One afternoon, the gloomy afternoon. The sky was gray with heavy rain. I tried to find his figure at that cafe. The memorable cafe where he confessed his feelings to me. And, yes, I finally found him. With the same flowers he gave me, but sadly, it's not for me. Flowers are meant for different women. A beautiful and elegant woman who is very different from me. And unfortunately, I saw his face was so happy when he held his new lover's hand. The light that I put back on his face, he has used it to side with another woman.

It's ok, I get it. I can't blame him for my stupidity. Tyo made me not stop crying during college holidays. Until one day, my tears ran out and made me a different person. I became a zombie who spent most of my time on campus, drowning myself in the many subject courses. I took everything. I did all the assignments well until I finally graduated with a 3.91 GPA. A very high number for an Architecture major. Yes, this is me, Sandra Bayu Hutama. The best graduate student at the graduation party. They even gave me time just to hear a few words from me, their best graduate.

The number I deserve, the result of hard work with sweat and tears. Until Ruanna accepted me without a long interview process. Can you imagine, how shocked Ruanna's HRD person who saw my certificate was? Seeing my GPA number, made his eyeballs look like they were going to pop out of his skull. And without saying much, he immediately shook my hand. Signs, I got the job.

I'm proud of myself. I got up, I moved on with my power. With all the bad things that bastard man has left in my life, I'm proud of who I am now. However, that doesn't mean my past wounds don't leave scars. When I looked again his figure was standing in front of me. When Adityo Joseph appeared before my eyes, I suddenly wanted something that had never occurred to me before.

I promise I won't let him win. Never again! Not over me, nor my design. I promise I'll risk everything, just to see him lose. I'm not a vengeful person who tried everything to make him pay for all my pain. However, I'm also not a person who likes to waste every opportunity. If today I can teach him a little lesson, I'll do it! Why not?