THEN MAKE ME UNDERSTAND IT!

CAMERON

"I think she has some medical history. A mental condition to be precise. When I examined her, she was already blacked out. But she gained half-consciousness for short time during the treatment.

She was saying some incoherent words like no, please don't, mom-dad, blood and sorry. I think she must have gone through some hard times and is still living in that trauma. Such people tend to get panic attacks when they face similar situations.

She is carrying a burden of her past. And whenever she faces a similar situation, all those memories are triggered, and she gets the panic attack."

I sat holding my head in my hands, reminiscing the doctor's words. I had locked myself in the office after Bria officially ruined the worst day of my every year. She shouldn't have pushed her luck too far.

I threw the glass of juice at her, and in an attempt to save herself, she got hit by the table. I was so angry that I didn't care what rubbish I was spurting out of my mouth.

-"Why would I tell you about anything personal? I am getting sick of you and your tantrums! From the first day, you are creating only problems. This place has lost its peace because of you. Everything that happened in these past days was because of you.

You broke every expensive thing in this house. People like you can't understand its importance and the money we spend on it. Have you ever thought about such fortune even in your dreams? No?! But you got a chance to live it but still, you keep complaining about every fucking thing, because you are an ungrateful bitch!

You are the first person who got a chance to live after you disrespected King on many occasions, but you don't value it. Not only that, but what happened to Adam... it was your fault. The boy could have died that day!

You are responsible for what happened to Gabriel. You are the reason that Nora can't meet her own son because you poked your nose in their personal matter and worsened their already strained relationship. It was all because of you!

You didn't even spare your family. They are suffering just because of your ego and obstinacy. If you agreed to sign those damn papers, then this all would not have happened.

You are nothing but trouble, Bria Maxwell! Wherever you go, people suffer. I guess the same happened to your parents also. Right?!"-

I felt my throat running dry, but my eyes stung, recalling the poison I fed her in the morning. It was all my fault. If I had kept my mouth shut, then she wouldn't have been suffering like this.

I was only concerned when I got Nora's panic call. But after speaking with the doctor, I was more than just concerned!

Nora came to sit beside me and told me what happened after I and King left. I listened to her silently though I tried to defend us when Nora presented Bria's case.

After all, she was the one who came up with that idea of the deal. Nora knew I would never admit anything against King, so she gave up easily, but before she left, she said something that only worsened my guilt.

"She doesn't know why you were in a bad mood today. I agree that she always picks fights with you, but today when she asked you that if you were ok or were you in pain, she meant it. She was not teasing you. I know this day is very hard for you, and how much it has pained you all these years, but taking out your pain on her was not right. She doesn't deserve that, and you know it!"

God! What have I done?!

And then I heard King's voice in my head.

-"Cameron, don't get too invested in someone who is going to die soon. You already have enough load on your back. Don't carry the extra baggage!"-

What should I do?

After a lot of pondering and reading all the motivational quotes from google, I stood in front of Bria's room with sweaty palms. I had never been so nervous in my whole life, not even when I first time killed someone.

My fists clenched at that thought before I opened the door slowly and slipped inside her room to see her sleeping in the bed.

I sat beside her and watched her with strange emotions in my chest.

What is wrong with you Cameron? I kept asking myself.

Instinctively my hand rose to touch her forehead, but I stopped before it came into contact with her skin.

"I -I am s-sorry, Fire." I managed to whisper.

I couldn't stay there anymore as my chest tightened painfully. I stood up to leave, but her fingers circled around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.

I tensed at her touch but turned to face her anyway.

"Hi, Camera! Where are you going?" She asked in a groggy voice.

"Umm... out. I am going out." I suddenly felt uncomfortable around her. I expected her to punch me or start fighting with me the moment she woke up. But her next demand surprised me even more.

"Can I come with you? I am dying for a chocolate ice-cream!"

Was she even serious?

And no matter how much I tried to decline her, after ten minutes, I was fastening my seatbelt with Fire beside me, and that too in her some Disney princess pyjamas.

King is going to KILL me!

And yet I felt good to see a small smile on her face. For the sake of that smile, I started the car and soon we were out of the gates.

I wanted to get some beer to clear up my mind, but she lectured me during our one-hour drive about how alcohol is a bad thing, and her favourite Benji had never touched the poison. She even got as far as giving me a crappy story of her classmate whose father was an alcoholic and ruined their life with debt. I was cent per cent sure that, she had made that baseless story, just to prevent me from drinking.

She ordered two big cones of ice cream, not even bothering to ask me which flavour I would like. After that, we drove to a nearby beach. It was past after midnight so, the beach was isolated. I parked the car at a good spot.

As soon as we got out of the car, she ran to the front with two ice creams in her hand and then jumped on the bonnet of my car to sit on it comfortably. My jaw hung in shock, thinking if she caused a dent in my car.

But once assured that my baby was safe, I relaxed. She passed one ice cream to me and began licking hers.

With no mood to argue with her, I took it and began licking it, following her steps.

After ten minutes of silence, I cleared my throat "You heard my apology?"

"Yeah."

"And you are not mad at me?"

"I have forgiven you, Camera. It's fine!"

Then why did I still feel guilty?

"Do you know what is my biggest grief?" She asked out of the blue, making me confused about where this was going.

"Umm... not owning a chocolate factory?"

She giggled at my answer though I was quite serious with it.

"Not having my parents with me. I neither have any memory of them nor any photo or video recording to see how they looked. I only have this necklace my mom left for me." She showed me her necklace, which she wore every day. "And that house and the property left by my dad."

She continued looking at the sea in front of us, but my eyes were trained only on her. "They say that one controls their own life. But I don't think so. Some things are decided by destiny. We can't control them. What we can control is our way to deal with them. It's our choice how we are going to face the situation, how we are going to accept the truth of life, and what way we want to spend the rest of our life."

But I disagreed with her completely. "It's not always true! You can control some things, you can prevent them from happening but somehow you fail yourself. And then you have to live the rest of your life with that guilt. The guilt that eats you from inside till you deteriorate completely. It's like a slow poison... killing you every day slowly, slowly!" I released a shaky breath when I felt the wetness at the corner of my eyes.

"You don't have to carry the burden of your guilt. One day you will collapse with its weight. It will drain you of all your willpower. And when you will look back... you will find that you have missed so much in life, and now you can't turn back.

And that load of guilt has only added to your misery, but at the end of your time, it has never helped you to release all the pain. Your life will be just a waste of dreams, and then it will only add more guilt to your heart. And no one deserves that!" She finally looked at me with her intense brown eyes that always try to see through the other person's soul.

And it scared me!

"You are wrong. You are so fucking wrong! I deserve it. I deserve that pain. I deserve that guilt. You know nothing. You-You know nothing!" I screamed while tears flew down freely from my eyes.

She sat unflinching, unwavering her intent gaze from me.

"Then tell me, make me understand it! I am here to listen and try." She said softly, and I surrendered willingly!