I still can't forget you...
It seems like I still can't forget you. Even after two months, you are still in my mind and my hearth when you shouldn't. It's strange, I told myself time and time again that I should forget everything and let the past be in the past. However, you still haunted me. Why? I thought I had successfully buried my feelings for you, at least more than a little bit. However, yesterday, when I learned you were hurt, my heart was aching and I was worried. Why was I like that? I even dreamed of you and I enjoyed the dream, a sweet dream in which you would follow me. In front of the WC, I teased you while smirking: "Will you also follow me in the toilets?" You were embarrassed and showed me pinky cheeks. I thought you were cute until my alarm clock woke me up. It was the beginning of a new day. I am not sure, am I feeling sorrow? Pain? Oddly, I was in a good mood mixed with some melancholy.
Another day of suffering through the preparatory class, boring lessons and exams…. I thought 'Well, it's fine. At least, I will be able to see my mathematics professor'. He is a young, very optimistic and funny Chinese man. He is a comprehensive and authoritative professor! I like his laugh, his mindset. Well, I am a fan! People are usually crazy for celebrity but I prefer someone I can interact with.
- "Don't forget to take a scarf my dear!
- Yes Mom! I love you, wish you a great and joyous day!
- Thank you, my little girl! See you later!"
While going out, I was enjoying the little warmth the sunlight gave me. A smile unintended started to form on my face. 'What a nice breeze and what a beautiful blue sky! If only the weather could be a little better!' We are on May but the weather is terrible! Alternating between cold and warm on a very single day! Anyway, I learned something really interesting: "One should be satisfied of everything he owns if he/she purchased happiness. A little thing can brighten one's day".
The day went by really fast while I was lost in my thoughts and before I knew it, it was already lunch time. It was the period of the day I hated the most at school. Indeed, I was always eating alone in the refectory. I am not really sociable... Well, more accurately, I did not like my classmates. I had somes friends but they were eating at home. I was always lonely during my prepatory class because most of the friends I made duraing that time were men. Thus, I could not help but feel out of place...
The afternoon went by and I was on the way back. Putting on earphones listening to chinese drama music such as 'the OST of The Legend Of Fuyao' or even 'Love catastrophe' , I went home while doing my "training". It simply consisted to balance myself in the subway. I had a long distance, about an hour worth of traject.
Finally, I was back home. Now, I had to do the housework, namely vaccum, wipe the floor with a mop and dusting. I was not the only one at home, but my older sister would not lift her finger at all to help mom or me... Well, at the very least, she was there when I needed her so it was fine with me.
However, this blissful life would not last long...and I had no idea about it.
When mom came home, she directly cook for us, my sister and me. I guess you are wondering about my father's whereabouts ? He is in heavens if you are religious or simply in a cemetery if you are not. It was an enjoyable meal. Mom cooked 红绕肉 (Hong Shao Rou / see notes at the end) with plain rice and 白菜 (Bai Cai / see notes at the end).
After the meal, I took a quick shower and then did my homework before going to bed.
" Good night mom, goodnight sister. I wish both of you nice dreams. "
"Goodnight sis. "
"Goodnight my lovables daughters, I love you. "
I have insomnia so I took some time to sleep. I was thinking about my life so far and was a bit depressed. I never really enjoyed my childhood... Having lost my father when I was only 9 brought quite a shock to my younger self...
The next day came and when I woke up, I found myself in an unfamiliar bedroom...