18: You Say

Percy POV (in Annabeth's body)

"Annabeth, stop walking away. Tell me what's going on," Frederick expressed.

I was making Annabeth storm back to the house, and Annabeth's dad was following me. Helen had stayed behind with the boys. It was later in the evening/night.

I didn't listen as I entered Annabeth's house again. The door slammed shut behind me, but not before opening again in no time.

"Annabeth, stop," Frederick ordered.

I finally stopped in the living room and turned around. Frederick was standing in front of me desperately trying to catch his breath.

"Honey, you're my daughter. You can share anything with me. Is something going on at school?" he asked softly.

"Even if there was, you wouldn't know," I snapped.

"Annabeth, you can talk to me," Frederick said.

"Yeah, when, Dad? When can I ever talk to you? You're never here. Do you know how hard that is? You show up for a day every month (sometimes it's even longer)," I explained angrily.

"Honey, my work is very important-"

"So is your family," I interrupted.

We simply stared at each other in silence. My eyes were burning with lost emotions. I never broke down like this in front of others. My identity was rooted in being strong and reliable by others. I wasn't the one that fell apart.

Yet, all of this was too much to handle.

My life, my actual life, was hard, and I struggled every day. I just couldn't hold it in any longer.

"You don't know anything that's going on in my life. You don't know all of the stress and pressure and pain that I live in," I paused to catch my breath. "I try so hard to not disappoint, yet I'm not getting anything from it."

Frederick came forward and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Annabeth-"

"I'm older, and I'm used to it. But, your sons need you," I snapped. I pulled away from him. "Work is important but so is balancing it with your personal life."

Sometimes, I felt the same way about Coach and my school. Pressure and expectations were important but not to the level of suffocating a student (ie me).

"Why did you never say this before?" Annabeth's dad asked softly.

"How could I?" I asked rhetorically. "You're happy in the way you are."

I didn't have the liberty to fall apart like this. I, Percy, was expected to be the superstar athlete, who was gonna put my school on the map. The Coach and my school were happy with me being successful and hard-working. Of course, no one knew of the hardships that came with that kind of popularity and expectations.

Furthermore, people were always around me for my fame and status. They didn't know me and my past. Almost no one knew that I had scars from my past.

I broke down the other day, and it felt so relieving. Today, I was standing up and expressing everything, which was also good.

"Annabeth, I'm sorry," Frederick expressed calmly.

"You should be sorry to your whole family," I said.

"Honey, where are you going?"

"I need to breathe, and you need to think," I commented. Annabeth's feet took me out of her house and towards my own.

I didn't know where else to go after breaking down. I realized during my walk that my emotional explosion was prone to happen at some point. It's okay to be vulnerable because people could only hold in so much.

Life was hard, and you had the relieve it somehow.

I walked quickly through the streets of my moderately small town. Considering it was Saturday night, the streets were fairly empty.

I could only imagine how I (Annabeth) looked right now. She probably looked messy and distraught. For the first time, I was glad that I couldn't see Annabeth's beautiful face.

I didn't want to see these overwhelming emotions on her ever.

After 20 minutes of walking and breathing, I made it to my apartment. I hesitated at the door before knocking.

Annabeth was not going to be happy.

The one thing she told me was to not say anything to her dad. However, he was the one that I broke down and blew up on/near.

It took a few seconds for the door to open.

I stared at my own face as Annabeth scanned me up and down. The warm smile on my own face (controlled by Annabeth) immediately dissolved, and I winced.

"Seaweed Brain, what the hell did you do?" Annabeth exclaimed angrily.

"Wise Girl, I, I couldn't hold it in anymore," I faltered off.

Her eyes on me intensified as she pulled me inside using my body's strength. I could tell that she was angry as we walked to my bedroom.

My mom and Paul were in the living room watching a movie.

"What's going on? Annabeth, is that you?" Paul asked with concern. He was Annabeth's English teacher, so he definitely knew her.

My eyes gazed at my mom. How I wished I could be in her arms right now.

"Mom and Paul, we're going to go up to my room," Percy (ie Annabeth) responded. Then, we quickly made our way to my bedroom.

Annabeth closed the door as I looked around my room. Gods, it was so much neater in here than before. Of course, Annabeth was organized, so it made sense.

"What the hell, Seaweed Brain?" Annabeth asked harshly.

I never realized that I looked quite scary when I was angry. Of course, I, Percy, usually didn't get angry, at least not explicitly.

"Annabeth, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I know that you told me not to, but I was angry and I snapped," I explained.

"The one thing I requested for you not to do," she glared at me. "I can't believe you broke down in front of my father."

"I know that I broke down, but it's okay to fall apart, Wise Girl."

"That's rich coming from you, Seaweed Brain. You never break down even when you're totally validated to," she expressed in frustration.

"Well, I realized that it's okay," I said quietly.

"Shut up, Seaweed Brain. Don't tell me what's okay and what's not okay to do while living my life. That's my decision," Annabeth snapped.

I simply stared at her helplessly.

Of course, she was right. Regardless, I felt somehow relieved, like a big weight had gotten off my chest.

I learned that I had the liberty to break down and express myself from time to time.

Suddenly, my phone rang. Literally, it was my (Percy's) phone that was ringing on my dresser.

Annabeth made my face sigh as she went to answer the call. Even though she was angry at me, she put it on speaker-phone.

"Hey, bro, are you okay? I heard about everything from Frank. Bro, you never react like that to the coach, especially not in front of the school," Jason said.

Suddenly, they caught my attention. I immediately went over. What happened in my own life today?

"I'm fine, Jason," Annabeth responded using my voice.

Okay, things were definitely not fine.

I reached forward and cut the phone call. I couldn't wait to figure out what happened at the competition today and what happened afterward.

"You were giving me so much flack, yet you did something too without my permission," I stated angrily.

"I simply stood up for you, Percy," she replied.

"You what?!"

"The coach was yelling at you even though you got first in the meet. Also, the other teammates were simply staring and judging. The school is just too hard on you-"

"Why would you say something on my behalf?" I asked harshly.

"I was just trying to help. I was expressing my voice, which is important," she said. My face showed genuine emotions, but the irony was too much.

"Oh please, Wise Girl, you literally can't share your voice in your body (not even to your dad), yet you want to go and ruin my life," I snapped in anger.

I wasn't being fair, but this was all too much.

"You're not much better," she shouted. "You literally deal with so much on a day-to-day basis, yet you just bubble those emotions inside. You don't even break down or destress or stand up for yourself."

"I know how to stand up for myself," I defended. "Hell, I stood up for myself since I was freaking 10 years old," I shouted

"Yeah, and where is that boy now?" she said using my loud voice. "Where is that boy now (too scared of what other people will think)? That's pathetic."

"No, it's to not let them down. To not disappoint," I cried out.

"Yeah, and you completely ignore your own mind and emotions," she snapped.

My brain wasn't thinking as I tried to fight back against her. Our argument was escalating without us even knowing.

"Well, then, you're just as much a coward as I am. You can't even say anything to your own step-mom and dad. "

In the dresser mirror, I noticed that both of our faces were convoluted in anger and passion. We were arguing and escalating. Much of it was fueled by how much we cared about each other.

"What the hell did you call me?" she asked vehemently.

"A coward just like you called me pathetic," I snapped firmly.

"Get out, Seaweed Brain. I can't believe that I'm saying that to my own face but get out of my house. Gods, I hate you right now," she exclaimed firmly.

Tears were flowing out of her (ie my own) eyes. Even my tears were threatening to spill.

"Well, back at ya," I shouted back.

As I stormed out of my home, my mom and Paul both stood up in concern. Clearly, they didn't know the context, but they did hear us shouting and arguing.

I ran through the (now) dark streets. I made Annabeth's hands wipe away the tears on her face, but more were falling.

I wasn't even sure how I made it back to Annabeth's house. The boys were already in bed, and I could Helen and Frederick talking in their bedroom. I didn't care, though, because I simply ran to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed.

I cared so much about Wise Girl. I liked every single inch of her, including her body, her mind, her identity, and her personality.

And, I hated this fight that ended with us despising each other.

I breathed heavily as my eyes burned. However, I wasn't crying anymore. Guys, simply, didn't cry as much as they probably should.

Only one question was flying around my head: Why did I swap lives with Annabeth?