Reliving Memories...Forced Feelings

Rai Shinah fell unconscious trapped in the haze replaying her past memories.

She fell down.

And down.

And then...

Down.

Some.

More.

How long has passed? Days? Months? Years? How many centuries have passed?

When would it stop? When would her nightmarish memories finally end?

Didn't she suffer enough?

After every time she dies why does she always come back to this place? Like a mental patient strapped in against her will, with her eyes unable to shut out the images playing in front of her.

Stupid Memory Wheel.

It taunts her.

It enjoys her pain.

It feeds off her emotions and memories.

It never ends.

But always ends.

With death ... always death

Then forces her to relive every memory again and again.

She was she forced to reminisce over everything that happened in the past.

Finally the memory wheel slowed down back to the beginning of this lifetime for her to see the passing memories slower.

Torturing her with her memories from her childhood; Rai Shinah closed her eyes she wanted to forget this, she tried to forget the start of all this. The joy of her first taste of power, after activating her meridians at the age of five.

Reminiscing and being forced to re-feel the feelings of the past ...of luck, gratitude and love to be betrothed to Lu Remington. Her hate was overpowered by the feeling of joy of how grateful she felt when his parents allowed him to chose her to be the Queen of the Spirit Crystal Kingdom. Feelings of pure enamor over-rid the disgust she truly felt while memories lingered on the face of the man she once unconditionally loved.

Memories of their battles and adventures as they fought through wars and conquered kingdoms together. Dominating with brutal power combining all kingdoms to submit to the Spirit and Jade Kingdoms. Her trials and tribulations when building her worth, proving she could conquer the affairs of the 'backyard' where the kings concubines reside. How lonely it felt off the battlefield. How much she hated the schemes and chaos the other concubines causes. Missing how much fun she had exploring her new kingdom with her friends Zhu and Guangli and the others.

Her memory turning sour when she remembers those that she lost, that protected her and died in despicable ways. Reminding her of those that yearned for power ..double crossing her. Ha how silly she was what a fool she had been to believe her life was perfect. Regret eating away at her soul, and her baby .... their baby... how could she not seen the dangers that lurked around every corner. She had so much power yet what was it... what was it useful for if she couldn't protect the ones she loved.

Her memories turning into a bitter taste matching her mood ...recounting the past month when she was brutally tortured by Tenshi her own sister.

She closed her eyes! No. no. no. nooo I don't wanna to see this! I don't want this ..I didn't want that. I hate her! I hate them ..I can't .. I can't ..

The Memory Wheel chimed and Rai Shinah's eyes were forced open.

Memories passed by .. Rai Shinah saw Rai Tenshi and cried.

Rai Tenshi had no shame or mercy for Rai Shinah, she paid several men to defile her body. Being supplied with stimulates and incense so they endlessly satisfied their animalistic urges destroying and humiliating her.

Rai Shinah felt shame and disgust. Hearing herself beg and cry for it to end only to see Rai Tenshi laugh and ask them to treat her with more care.

The Memory Wheel was evil ...slowing down to real time making sure to engrave the feeling of complete despair into her mind as she relived each second.

However.. when they stoped violating her, is when she experience ... the worst of it. They inflicted such a despicable type of torture that she wished to never remember. Rai Shinah tried to close her eyes again. She didn't want to see it anymore, what happened next... knowing ... just knowing ... fearing ....

However the Memory Wheel was in ecstasy. Her eyes were forced open and the memories drowned her in her own fear and self hate.

Memories of those monsters trying to pry her baby out of her inflicting a series of hits and stabs by various tools and weapons. That.... was the most painful, and helpless experience she had ever been through.

She felt every bit of that pain again through memories...she remembered feeling fear for her child horrible fate. However she soon accepted it wholeheartedly when she realized the skin around her stomach had been tougher than armor, for some odd reason.. so she experienced the joy again of realizing her baby was safe. She gladly accepted all the pain even 1000000x fold if there was even a slight chance of her baby surviving.

But Rai Tenshi was further aggravated and ordered the men to use all sorts of brutal and torturous ways to pry the baby out.

When nothing worked they tossed her into a bath of heating elixir that was meant to melt the body to a complete liquid state. But somehow that didn't work her body just burned the exposed wounds, she was showing resistance to the elixir.

Fear, Hate, Acceptance, Shock, Joy, Exhaust...

Reliving

Forced feelings

She hated this Memory Wheel.. while she suffered; it was delighted. She closed her eyes and opened them bracing herself for what was about to happen next.

Joy came and ended too soon..laying in the bath of elixir Rai Shinah refused to come out and the others refused to touch her in fear of dying.

She felt safe for a moment, trying to think of ways to escape.

When Concubine Xia came rushing in claiming to have a sacred poison, that no matter how far along the pregnancy one is-it caused the child to hungrily suck the life energy of its mother. Then they could kill the child shortly after she was dead.

Rai Shinah feeling complete rage at her once best friend, mustered up the last bit of strength she had and attacked.

She cupped the elixir she sat in and threw it straight at Xia's face! She died instantly it was Fantastic..! Then splashed waves of the elixir at everyone around her. The men turned to liquid mush and others ran like mad avoiding her touch.

Then she got up and ran..