Episode 59 - One of the Family

Over the next few months, Amari slowly became another member of the Li family. At first, he only came by on Mondays, and sometimes stayed the night after a rehearsal or show, but after a few weeks, he officially quit his job at the club and started spending more time at the Li's home.

The main reason was to spend more time with Yangyang and Taitai, of course, but he also had a hidden agenda - to make the most of his status as a guest while he still could. Yangyang's mother would never scold him the way she did her son, so he took advantage of the situation to bring music back into the house.

He sang and played the guitar whenever he was there, and he left his Little Martin at the apartment for Taitai to use. It wasn't a children's guitar, but it was good enough for teaching him the basics, and he quickly forced Yangyang to join their lessons. Soon, Yangyang was teaching his son in Amari's absence. The man played the piano more, and Amari and the Li siblings would jam in the living room most nights after dinner.

Yangyang's mother never said anything about the video. When they returned from the park, Amari's phone was sitting on the dining table and she was in the kitchen making dinner. After that day, though, she stopped fighting with Yangyang every time he mentioned the band or the club. She didn't say anything when he brought Taitai to a show, and she didn't stop them from teaching the child guitar or playing music in the house. Yangyang wasn't a complete fool and had his suspicions, but when he asked Amari if something had happened, the boy only shrugged in reply.

Still, it wasn't perfect. She wasn't accepting, and she didn't participate. Instead, she seemed to ignore it, sometimes displeased but otherwise indifferent to it all. Amari knew she was still conflicted, but she wasn't cold-hearted. He guessed that after watching the video, she could no longer be angry at her son the way she had been. In his mind, even the smallest change was a success.

"Wèi, Yang ge." Amari was pulled swiftly by the waist into Yangyang's room, a hand sliding slowly up his loose t-shirt. "Hands."

The man kissed him gently on the neck, not moving.

"Taitai's in his bedroom, and ma and jie are in the kitchen." His voice was barely a whisper in Amari's ear, but he could still hear the grouchy, childish tone. "Wǔ fēnzhōng. Liǎng fēnzhōng."

"Zero minutes." Giving the man's lips a quick kiss as he turned, he then removed the large arms from around his waist. "This's not how you want your ma or your son to find out about us."

Yangyang groaned, but backed away. "Ah, this is shit. I see you all the time, but I'm more pent up than ever."

He knew he shouldn't, but Amari could only smile at the man, feeling a little pleased that he was the cause of such frustration. "Go help āyí with dinner. I'll get Taitai."

"Yeah, alright." Yangyang huffed as he headed to the hallway, but still snuck a kiss and a quick flick of the tongue before chuckling out the door.

Since Amari spent most of his time at the Li's, his relationship with Yangyang became more like a member of the family and less like a lover, which drove the man insane. In the smallest moments, he would whine and cling as if they hadn't touched in ages.

It drove Amari a little crazy too, wanting to be selfish and keep the man to himself, but in the long run, that would get them nowhere. He just continually told himself that they had plenty of time, and if he couldn't win over the mother, the relationship would be ruined. Once Yangyang realized what he was doing, Amari convinced him of the same, so all they had now was the occasional Sunday night, the secret make out sessions while people were away, and the tiny touches here and there when backs were turned.

With a guitar hanging from his shoulder, Amari came singing and strumming out of the hallway into the living area. Behind him, Taitai sang loudly to The Cure's Friday I'm in Love, saying the days of the week correctly, but making random noises for the rest of the lyrics he didn't know. It appropriately matched the day and Amari liked to find songs that the child could follow along with.

He knew the layout of the apartment well now and could move around easily, and Yinyi joined them to dance with her nephew. After circling the living room through a round of verse and chorus, Amari met Yangyang at the dining table, singing cheerfully as he set the table, the man casually humming along.

When he finished, he spun the guitar onto his back and took a satisfied breath. Feeling Taitai pull on his shirt, he reached down and lifted him into his arms, bouncing and swaying to the music still in his head.

"You sang so well," he said, smiling sweetly at the child.

Taitai had a decent voice for a five-year-old, and his rhythm continued to improve, showing the power of good genes. His grasp of the lyrics, though, were understandably lacking.

"Better than your ba."

Yangyang chuckled. "Well, that's not saying much, is it?"

His agreeing nod got a quick punch in reply, and he set Taitai down, gesturing for him to go help his nǎinai.

"Are you staying tonight?" Yangyang asked, stepping beside him.

He shook his head. "My back needs a break from the couch, and you need some quality time with your son." Smelling the food already sitting on the table, his smile widened. "I should go home and let Ziggy be clingy for a while," he added absentmindedly, distracted by the growling in his stomach.

"He better not be too clingy," grumbled Yangyang under his breath.

Amari giggled and elbowed the man. "Are you really jealous of that?" he whispered.

"Don't underestimate me."

With another giggle, he wandered into the kitchen, asking if there was anything he could do to help. The answer was of course no, so he returned to sit at the table.

As Yangyang's mother put the rest of the dishes down and everyone took their seats, she spoke over his head. "Xiao Li, have you thought of anything you want to do in the future?"

This was a common topic lately, and a valid question, since he really had no direction or ambition and spent all of his time either mooching off his middle-aged roommate or his boyfriend. He picked at his food and heard Yangyang fidgeting across from him, so he kicked the man lightly under the table.

"I've been thinking over something recently, but I'm not sure about it yet."

"Ah?" asked Yangyang, surprised, since it wasn't anything they had discussed before.

Amari nodded and took a large mouthful of food, responding as he chewed. "Yeah, but I don't know how realistic it is."

"It is probably more difficult with a vision-impairment," said Yangyang's mother, not meaning to offend.

"Ma," Yangyang growled, but Amari waved him quiet.

"My vision's not the problem. There're just other things I'm not sure about. Anyway, I'm still thinking it over."

Sensing the tension, Yinyi moved the conversation to something else, and Yangyang tapped Amari with his foot. He knew they would be having a conversation later about this thing he wasn't telling him, but for now, he just smiled in response.

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"So, you're really not going to tell me about this future you've been thinking over?" Yangyang hovered above Amari as he put his shoes on. "What happened to not having secrets and being supportive and all that?"

He stood, placing a hand on Yangyang's shoulder. "Yang ge, it's literally just a thought that's popped into my head a few times. I just had to answer your ma's question."

"Yeah, alright." It didn't sound like the man believed him, but he wasn't going to push. Amari had always said what was on his mind and answered questions honestly, so there wasn't any reason for him to worry. "Call me later?"

"Of course." He gave Yangyang's hand a squeeze. "Later."

He headed out and down the stairs, and when he hit the sidewalk, his smile turned to a frown. It was true that he had been thinking on and off about something, but it was more that he knew in his current state, he was useless to Yangyang, both as a partner and a member of his family.

The constant prodding by his mother had made him realize that even if the woman accepted Yangyang's sexuality, it didn't mean she would automatically accept Amari. Honestly, what mother would? Other than companionship, he had nothing to offer her son. The thought nagged at him constantly, but true to himself, he could only take one day at a time, with no idea how to plan a complicated future like that.

He shook the thoughts from his head and threw in his earbud, pushing down the urge to listen to music as he walked. He needed to stay aware of his surroundings. It was exhausting going back and forth between Chinatown and Greenpoint so often. The trip became easier, more familiar, but the brain power it took to pay attention to every step, every obstacle, and every sound wore him out. It was summer, and the sun was out often, brightly shining and making his temples throb.

Finally reaching home, he sighed and crossed the street, turning down the steps into The Basement.