Chapter 25: Irish Mythology, and the TARDIS Tavern

[Tavish POV]

[Inside the Tardis]

Assembling the last bit of the grip, I take a step back to admire my work.

While my technomancy had abandoned me for the moment, my engineering skills ensured that I could continue advancing, albeit at a slower pace.

[Censer of a Tech-Paladin] (Epic)

A holy tool essential for the work of a paladin of the machine god. When lit its incense provides a variety of effects and passively gathers divine energies. Channel divine energy to extend and retract the chain.

[Omnissian Blade] (Epic)

This Paladin variant of the power sword was designed to smite enemies of the machine god.

[Staff of Whacking] (Poor)

What was an attempt at a magical conduit for his Necromancy, it quickly became apparent that Tavish lacked the skill to make the staff take to necromancy. This resulted in him "whacking" the first skeleton's he summoned in surprise. It appears to have been converted to a fire poker.

Making myself paladin gear turned out pretty great. The only hard part was, when I added the holy symbols and scriptures, they became inherently holy. This made it a bit difficult to pick them up without a burning sensation developing in my hands.

Necromancy was a bit of a struggle. Most of this stemmed from the fact that I needed reference material.

The gamer shop wasn't up and running yet so I was forced to dredge around the ruins of myth to come up with various clues and indicators of magic.

Skill Acquired!

Gaulish (3/100)

The ability to read and understand the language of the ancient Celts.

Celtic Runes (1/100)

Your ability to understand the runic language of the Celts.

Needless to say, I am having to do some research.

All I managed to figure out was that channeling negative energy into a skeleton caused him to raise from the dead.

New Spell Created

[Summon Skeleton (common)]

Summons a Skeleton into your service with a basic weapon. Capable of mundane tasks.

Once I found the right items, I could actually work on getting back to a proper flesh and blood form.

As it was, it was fairly difficult re-establishing myself in this world.

Forgetting the fact that I'm currently a skeleton, many of my resources were on the Fortress, and I couldn't make my way back until I had finished this world.

Thankfully, Nova seems to have taken to her upgrade system like a duck to water.

Travelling down into its depths, the Tardis had a variety of rooms that contained bits and bobs that would allow me to use Nova as a mobile base of sorts.

A kitchen, an alchemy lab, a workshop, a library, a botanical garden, and many more rooms existed down in Nova's depths, allowing me to maintain some small projects.

My persistence in the bonsai tree project finally paid off in providing me with a small but consistent source of materials to continue innovation.

However, occasionally she got the urge to swap her rooms around a bit, leaving me lost and confused whenever I needed to visit another room.

Climbing up the stairs to the ground floor, I am treated to the site of a large tavern. Various trophies from my adventures hang from the walls with pictures portraying portions of a memory rich life.

Several old armor sets stood in display cases around the edges of the room, gleaming in the soft light that gave this tavern a homely feel.

My eyes finally land on the gleaming bar. My shield, Stormfront, hung behind the bar accompanied by the power sword that I had just completed, leaving the censor to hang just beneath it, the smell of chocolate chip cookies emitting from it.

I had a hunch that the Tardis had direct access to my inventory, so it was interesting to be proven right.

Nova directed me to an outfit laid out on a nearby chair.

"What, you want to be a roving tavern now?" I asked bemused, receiving a happy series of beeps from the Tardis.

"Alright then, lets see what the damage is. . ." I chuckle heading to the back to change.

[Time Skip]

[? POV]

"What is this?" I comment aloud staring at the blue box that was resting in the middle of this courtyard.

I had decided to go for a bit of a walk down memory lane and visit some of my old haunts, only to discover this phone box in the middle of the dilapidated structures.

Circling around the box once, my red plaid dress flowing around my feet, I finally stop in front of the door once more.

A midnight black raven alights on my shoulder, giving a soft caw of warning.

"I know its suspicious, but you can't help being a little curious right?" I ask lowering my hood and letting my red tress's pour out.

"And besides, nothing new has happened here in forever, let's see what this mischief does for us." I state, opening the door and letting out a soft light.

[Tavish POV]

Looping the Apron over my head I admire the outfit in the mirror.

A pair of sensible shoes, black slacks, a white dress shirt, a black apron, and a bowtie to complete the ensemble.

I think I look like a proper bartender, minus the whole skeleton thing.

Glancing up to my shiny metal head sans hair, a thought starts forming.

I need a hat, maybe a bowler, or a Fez. Maybe a beret.

Note to self; visit a haberdashery.

Walking out behind the bar, I just finish checking the taps when the door opens with a soft ring.

"Welcome!" I call out turning to the door to see a shell-shocked redhaired woman.

[Observe]

?

Lvl- ?

Thoughts – Surprise.

Oh dear . . . .

A drop-dead gorgeous entity just walked through the door with a raven perched on her shoulder.

If that isn't an indicator of a mythological being, I don't know what is.

Never the less, I learned my lesson from my last god so let put my best foot forward.

"Welcome TARDIS Tavern. Can I fix you up with anything Ms.?" I ask, my bone hands clapping in front of me. This seemed to startle her out of her shock.

"Tardis, what is that?" She questioned, slowly approaching the bar.

"Time And Relative Dimension In Space." I explain before continuing; "From here you can choose where you want to go and who you want to be, but in all honesty, its fine if you just want a pint." I answer jokingly, attempting to wink causing the blue flame in my eye socket to wink out.

"And, umm, who are you?" she asked, watching me carefully.

"Tavish Byrne! Undead extraordinaire at your service milady! I'll be your barkeep here all week." I cheerfully impart, causing her to relax slightly.

"So you don't capture mortals and devour their souls?" She questioned, the ghost of a smile flicking across her face.

"Nope! I don't think so anyway! I've been in this form for some eighty-nine years or some such, so I'm still working out what all I can do." I reply, setting a menu up on the bar with a glass of water.

After glancing around one last time, she finally took a chair at the bar and started perusing the menu.

I polished a glass as I waited for her. She finally glanced up and asked; "What is Firewhisky?"

Pulling out the bottle in question, I begin explaining; "It's a drink made by wizards I believe. Supposedly it looks like its on fire when you pour out a glass." I explain dusting off the bottle.

"Let's try it, I'd hate to drink alone." She stated, a spark lighting up in her eyes.

"Well said! Alright, to the warriors of yesterday and tomorrow!" I offer as toast pouring out too glasses, flames licking around the mouth of the shots.

"To the warriors!" she said knocking back her glass.

Miming the act of drinking, a notification pops up.

New Perk discovered

[The Soul of the Chef]

Regardless of form, a foodgician is capable of sampling and enjoying the culinary delights of the world around him. For food should not distinguish between race, sex, or walk of life. You are able to transform consumables into mana.

I can feel the Firewhisky burning as it goes down where I imagine where my throat would be before vanishing into nothingness.

Temporary buff added

[Liquid Courage]

You feel more courageous for 0:59:59

I let out a burst of laughter as the woman slams her glass on the counter.

"HAHAHA, I didn't know I could still eat and drink! See Ms.! Discovering new stuff about this body by the day!" I cheer, as she takes a gulp of water.

"Hellfyre! That burns going down!" She exclaims, gulping some air.

"Yeah, it does! Want another?" I offer causing her to shake her head.

"No thanks, let's just have a pint." She said.

"Normal by mortal standards or something interesting." I ask a grin creeping onto my face.

She looks at me closely.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Rainbow Fruit Beer." I supply, the flames in my eyes dancing in amusement.

She watched nervously as I pour the dark rainbow liquid out into the pint glass and passing it to her.

Picking up the glass, she takes a sip, only for her eyes to shoot open as her body explodes in light.

[? POV]

Unsure about the drink I take a sip only for my world to crack open in pleasure.

Seven separate fruit beer flavors, bursting with their own unique tang. It provoked the desire to drink it forever, every drink yielding seven new orgasm inducing flavors.

My godly power was unshackled for a moment before I wrest it back under control.

How could a mere lich, raise his cooking ability to heights that would make a goddess like myself react like this?!

When the light withdraws, I realize that my dress had burned away and the lich was looking away very pointedly.

Sighing and snapping my fingers a new dress wrapped around my form.

[Tavish POV]

[Observe]

Macha

Lvl – God

Thoughts – Embarrassment.

I knew it.

Macha was the Celtic goddess of fertility, war, success, protection, and death.

Truthfully, I didn't expect a goddess to be my first customer, and I definitely didn't expect my cooking to blow her clothes off.

Hearing a small cough, I turn back to see her dressed again, a large blush covering her face.

"My, that's probably enough for one day." She stated breathlessly, as she ignores what just happened.

"Alright then, how do you want to settle the bill?" I reply, maintaining my customer service.

She stops and thinks for a moment before pulling out a thick black tome from the air.

"Let's drop pretenses for a moment. Have you never practiced your origin magic Mr. Lich?" She questioned, causing me to bow my head.

"No milady. I was forced into this form eighty-nine years ago by an unknown god. I've only recently reawakened and started traveling." I confess.

Its crucial to pay my respects to death gods, because I'm fairly certain that they reserve the right to rip my soul from my undead body on a whim.

"The powers I have allow me to regain my living body if I keep my light and dark energies in balance until they mature." I continue. Technically I am telling the truth in this instance.

"Very well. While Lich's are not apart of our Parthenon, it doesn't mean I haven't delt with them on occasion." She said handing me the book.

Reading the title, I can't help but chuckle a little

[None of your Lichness: A Grimoire for the Modern Lich.] (Legendary)

"Something like this should point you in the right direction." Macha stated, standing up to leave.

"Thank you, Lady. Shall I expect your presence again?" I enquire, causing her to pause mid-step.

"I dare say you will Mr. Lich." She replied, a smile flickering across her face once more.

"Then until we meet again." I answer waving goodbye, as she walks out the door.

The tenseness doesn't leave until I hear Nova take off.

Death gods were always a fickle bunch. She left me alive just because she thought I was fascinating. But on first glance, it very much looks like I'm cheating death.

Pouring myself another glass of Firewhisky, I set down at a table and start reading the book.

[Time Skip]

[Gamer Shop online!]

Excellent! I was starting to run low on some supplies.

It was always a hassle to disguise going into town for basic stuff so thankfully I could get cleaning supplies from the shop.

Nova seemed particularly fond of the "mint" cleaning solution I found as I cleaned out her interior.

On the tables nearby sat more ingredients acquired from the gourmet world.

The ability to pick prepackaged condiments straight off the plant became invaluable in rounding out my spice cabinet.

But my biggest haul from the trip, was the acquisition of Puffer Whales!

They were a bitch to catch, but made slightly easier thanks to the book of lich's that I was gifted by Macha.

Apparently, a lich could further improve their bodies by the acquisition and use of souls, hence why my soul well still existed.

So for the low price of 2,000 souls, I got . . . .

New Perk Added

[Bone Manipulation] (Rare) (1/100)

Allows the Lich to manipulate, grow, and shape the bones structures around him.

The cost to upgrade my body to a standard or superior lich cost well over 100,000 souls so that was out of reach for the time being, but back to the puffer whales.

[Flashback]

Walking into the ocean I get a quick perk notification as I head down.

Perk Activated!

[Undead sub-type]

As an undead, you do not require oxygen.

Slowly sneaking closer to the school of the fish, I slowly form the tip of my finger into a needle point.

Aiming and applying a quick burst of magic, the needle stabs out like lightning, passing through the gills of the little puffer whale.

Skill added!

[Knocking] (1/100)

Knocking is a special, non-lethal method of capturing wild beasts. It generally involves striking the nerves or pressure points that control movement of living creatures with the use of specialized techniques or the use of biodegradable needles.

[Luck event triggered!]

The Puffer Whale floated listlessly in the water, as I scoop it up and add it to my inventory.

[Flashback End!]

While I wasn't nearly that lucky on most of them, often hitting and triggering the deadly poison sac within the fish, I did manage to retrieve a substantial haul of good ones.

But now comes the most difficult part when handling them.

Setting the obscenely heavy fish on the chopping board, I grab one of my sharpest blades.

Gently slicing in to the fish, I go about removing the poison sac, slicing very carefully as I attempt to do it with precision.

If I was off by a single millimeter, I could hit the sac, and lose this as a source of meat.

Carefully slicing along the gills and under the jawline, I start making the final cut along the belly. This would probably make the most difficult cut. Hopefully, my skills at surgery would be enough to see this through.

Part way through the cut, a voice interrupts my concentration.

"What are you up to their buddy?" The voice questions, the knife slicing a millimeter too far.

The Puffer Whale turns an ugly purple color with flecks of white.

"Goddammit!" I rage, dropping the knife on the cutting board and glaring at the frustrating little fish.

I finally turn my attention to the voice that interrupted my work, to find two men standing in front of the counter.

One was a large burly man with brown hair, his forearms blackened with soot, while the other man possessed shining gold hair smiling sheepishly.

"Well I was trying to prepare Puffer Whale, but I sliced too far so the fish is no good now." I grumble, tossing the fish into a waste bin off to the side.

"Puffer Whale? The hell kind of fish is that?" the burly man questioned, examining the bag of them hanging off the counter.

"A fish from an ocean far from here. It dives to such depths that its flavor is condensed into the extraordinarily dense form you see now. However, all its impurities are condensed into an extremely virulent poison sac, so I have to slice very carefully because if I'm off by so much as a millimeter, I can burst the poison sac and ruin the fish." I inform the two men, as I get ready to slice another."

I could tell they were hiding themselves from my observe, so they must be gods or possibly demigods of a sort, but hopefully they were just here for food.

"What does it taste like?" the man with the golden blond hair questioned as I began my slice.

"It supposedly tastes of an endless source of deliciousness and nutrients that people are willing to spend their remaining days eating it. Nearly every part of it is edible from the fins to even the poison sac if prepared right. You can tell a successful preparation when its skin takes on a beautiful gold color that shines like the sun." I list off, my second slice going off without a hitch.

"Well, that sound like a right proper dish to try. What all can you make with it?" The burly man asked, examining the knife in my hand.

"The Back fin can be used for soup for three consecutive years without the flavor degrading, and can be used in sake. The organs have the amazing ability of if eaten raw, a mortal could work ten days in a row without sleep. The tongue can be turned into fresh oil that can be used over and over without turning old. And the poison sac itself can be dried and served as a delicacy. But the best way is sashimi." I answer, the belly folding open to reveal the poison sac.

Carefully, I separate the strands of poison sac membrane from the fish and place it in a nearby bowl.

The fish suddenly switched to a gleaming gold color, illuminating the surrounding area with its light.

New Perk Added

[The Voice of Ingredients!] (1/100)

Ingredients of the Gourmet world have displayed a unique and strange phenomena that is described as a "voice", which "calls" for certain people, and "guides" them into how to prepare the Ingredient in question. People who possess the ability to hear the Voice of Ingredients are shown to have an affinity towards Ingredients, chiefly skilled Chefs.

"Whoa! It really does shine like the sun! A fitting dish for you Apollo." The burly man chuckled.

"True enough, but let's not let it detract from our purpose here Goibhniu!" the now named god replied excitedly before turning back to me hopefully.

"Oh alright. Welcome to the Tardis Tavern. What can I get you gents started with?" I chuckle at the excitable god.

"We heard tell from a mutual friend about a liquor perpetually on fire, and a beer that can blow your socks off." Apollo stated, getting business like.

"Did said friend mention the wine variation as well?" I joke setting two menus on the bar for them.

"Nay, but we intend to try the selection." Goibhniu answered, fascinated by the golden skin of the puffer whale.

"Alright, do you want me to get you something started in the way of food?" I ask filling two pints of the dark rainbow beer.

"I'd be remiss if I didn't get a taste of the puffer whale course!" Apollo exclaimed, watching the shifting rainbow colors within the glass.

"I'm not one for raw fish, but this is indeed fascinating so I'll have the same." Goibhniu replied, sniffing his glass.

"Alright, I'll get on that." I answer as I start preparing another fish.

Goibhniu, the Celtic god of forges and the architect of some of Christianity's most renown holy sites. Myth's did point towards a secret friendship between him and Apollo, but this is the first evidence I have seen of it.

Ah well, none of my business. I don't see a real problem with it outside of Zeus possibly being a massive cunt about it, but he always needed to be treated with kiddie gloves anyway.

Once the poison sac was removed, I could let my foodgician skills loose to slice process and prepare the fish for consumption.

A massive flash of light went off behind me as two more gods lost control of their godly forms for a moment. Turning back, I almost laugh at the lack of clothes on the pair, but manage to restrain myself as I present the dried poison sacs.

"First course; Dried Poison sac!" I announce proudly.

The two shirtless gods glace at each other before swiftly consuming the crunchy confection.

"Wow! It cleanses the pallet! Perfect with this beer that keeps switching flavors!" Apollo exclaims, clothes appearing around him once more.

"Indeed. A nice bitter aftertaste!" Goibhniu agreed, taking another drink of the beer.

Setting two bowls of "Puffer skin chips" in front of the gods, I go back to making the soup, sake and sashimi.

"So tell us Mr. Byrne, how did you come to open this odd little tavern in the middle of Norway?" Goibhniu requested, glancing around the inside of the tavern.

"Norway? Huh, the Tardis must have moved again." I muse, a confirming beep echoing out overhead.

"Moved? Tardis? What are you on about?" Apollo questioned around a mouthful of chips.

"Time And Relative Dimension In Space. From here you can enjoy a pint and contemplate the world, and get a good meal before getting back to life." I chuckle.

Both gods give me a look like I was nuts before glancing around the restaurant in wonder.

"Chef, I noticed you used a peculiar knife to slice the Puffer Whale. Might I take a look at it?" Goibhniu asked, changing the subject.

Handing him the Forerunner knife I had used, I quickly poured out two bowls of soup and set them down in front of the gods.

"I've never seen a blade like it in all my time. Where did you get it?" he questioned after looking it over for a few minutes.

"I made it. A combination of hard light and ancient technology, and it serves as one of my sharpest knives in my position." I comment idly, watching him nearly fall of his stool.

"Hard light?! How on earth did you get forging skills to the point where you can turn literal light into a material to work with?" He exclaimed as I plated the sashimi.

"You tend to pick up a thing or two when you've traveled as far as I have." I reply, the fire in my eyes flickering in amusement as I serve them and retrieve the sake I had heating in a pan nearby.

"Oh good, I've been looking forward to this." Apollo said enthusiastically, drawing attention back to the food.

[Apollo POV]

The sashimi served to us possessed a gold translucent color and glittered like jewels under the lights of the tavern.

Taking that first bite flavor exploded, the delicious fatty meat melting in my mouth.

It tasted similar to bluefin tuna, but another flavor combined with it elevating the food to another level.

Suddenly, my body felt reenergized! Like I could carry the sun on my back for a million years unknown strength surging in my frame!

Oh! I forgot the sake!

Picking up the warm cup in my hands, I can see the slice of puffer skin on the top. Thinking nothing of it, I take a drink and the dryness of the sake collides with the sweetness of the puffer. The drink reaching and soothing every cell in my body.

Glancing over at Goibhniu, I could see that he wasn't doing much better as tears ran down his face at the sheer flavor profile he had been presented with.

Switching my view to the lich standing behind the counter innocently cleaning a glass, I change my evaluation of him yet again.

How on earth did this skeleton have a cooking skill that could make a god cry. He used ingredients that were beyond this world, tools forged from light, and traveled in a blue box.

Definitely qualified as the oddest entity that I had encountered in a very long time.

. . . .

I wonder if Sis would like to come here for our birthday?

[Time Skip]

[Tavish POV]

"So how do you guy want to settle your bill?" I ask the passed out drunk gods.

Apparently, immortality does not mean alcohol tolerance.

They had insisted on continuing their way through my selection of alcohol until reaching the Rainbow fruit wine, before consuming no less than five bottles apiece. Each bottle held a alcohol volume of 89%, making it one of the strongest drinks I have.

Truthfully, they looked so peaceful.

But their was a slight issue . . .

I don't know about Goibhniu, but Apollo still had to fly his chariot in the morning, which started. . . twenty-five minutes ago.

As much as I'd like to keep them here so they could pay me back sober, I didn't want an angry god knocking on my door.

Could I just dump him on Olympus? Could I even get there? And what do I do with Goibhniu?

I've tried just about everything to wake them up but none of my methods could wake him without causing serious harm to them.

You know what, fuck it.

Grabbing Apollo, I search and find a wallet. Paging through it I manage to find a phone number on the back of a picture of Artemis. Opening the front door, and grabbing the telephone I dial the number and wait for the connection to be picked up.

"Apollo, I swear, you had better have a good reason for calling me at this hour. . ." The voice threatens over the phone.

"My apologies Lady, but your brother is rather indisposed at the moment." I hesitantly reply.

The line is silent for a moment before she asked; "What did he do?"

"He went out drinking with a friend and passed out. I haven't been able to wake him." I carefully reply.

I hear a sigh on the other end before she replied; "Alright, where are you at?"

Checking the local map, I relay a set of coordinates outside of Fredrickstad.

Moments after hanging up the phone a silver flash of light appeared and the Goddess of the hunt stepped out.

Upon spotting me she immediately nocked an arrow.

"Whoa now! Peace be with you and all that jazz." I exclaimed raising my hands in the air.

"Who are you abomination?!" She commanded, power arcing off the arrow.

"I'm the owner of the Tavern! I just got off the phone with you!" I comment nervously, shifting back and forth. I knew I couldn't outshoot a goddess so I just had to play her game for now.

Being a lich was going to be a bit harder than I thought.

[Time Skip]

Finally, after convincing Artemis to put down the weapon, she collected her brother and left in a flash of light without saying a word.

Goibhniu woke up not to long after that and paid for his meal and wandered off to parts unknown, I was finally able to relax and examine the item he used as payment!

[Celtic Puzzle Cube] (Epic)

Imprisoned within this cube is an ability exclusive to the Celtic Parthenon. Solve the puzzle to gain access.

I've been working on it for two hours without much in the way of progress.

I honestly like this exchange system that seems to have developed between myself and the various mythological entities that wander through my door.

A passing Satyr gave me some magic acorns, a leprechaun left a pot of gold, and a Nymph gave me a grenade.

Couldn't tell if it was magical or not but made for an interesting conversation piece.

Loot was just something that seemed to make my non-existent heart sing, simply because I discovered something new.

This was further exacerbated when I realized that Nova was randomly making her doors appear all over the world with a perfectly functioning chameleon circuit.

More and more people would float through at a variety of different times, each with their own significance and problems.

Got a lot of books, both magical and not from the various diners.

My light and dark energies were mostly set off to the side while I was trying to figure out my path from here.

Still had no idea where I was at in the timeline of this universe, but then again, I hadn't deemed it all that important at the time.

[Gacha Back Online!]

Well . . . . .

Maybe I'd find proper direction with this.

[Gourmet Spicer] (Rare)

A fist shaped ingredient processor that grinds down an ingredient into a spice.

[Roasted Squirrel] (Common)

[Artificer Aegis Power Armor: Tech-Marine] (Legendary)

[Necrodermis] (Epic)

[Glock 17] (Common)

[Magic Staff] (Rare)

[Pole Of Angling] (Rare)

[Necron Randomizer Crate] (Legendary)

What the fuck?

Pulling the huge crate out of my inventory, I hit the open button to take a look at wall-to-wall boxes inside gleaming a baleful green.

[Cryptek Data Cache]

Containing the stored resources of one or more Necron Crypteks.

Necron's . . .I had honestly forgot about them. Honestly, they kinda reminded me of necromancy a bit. Could I use the tech for that purpose? I wasn't exactly using souls to perform it so it didn't matter if the soul would be stripped from the body in the process. I guess the nano core would have to investigate it first.

Handing the drives to the core for processing, I pull out the Power Armor.

It looked like it was stolen from the vault of the Grey Knights themselves, the full container containing the armor dropping out of my inventory with a massive thump.

Great, now how do I open this fucker. . . .

An alert pings as soon as I touch the massive case.

[Divine intervention detected!]

[Quest being developed!]

New Quest added.

[For want of a Uniform.]

Deus Ex Machina realized that as the first Tech-Paladin, you lack an official doctrine, scripture, even a uniform! He wants you to rectify this matter.

Objective 1: Modify this armor to something fitting of a paladin of the machine god.

Objective 2: Present it to the boss and get his approval.

Rewards: Omnissiah's gift, a Cult Mechanicus holy book, ?

Forge a new armor?

Idea's started flooding into my head as the case slid open with a burst of steam, revealing the crusader helmet gleaming in the light.

Well then, lets get cracking . . .

[Time Skip]

The hardest part of this was enabling the power armor to interface with my skeleton body.

Adding symbols and litanies for the machine god, plus a new coat of paint, that was all relatively simple.

I had to drain a significant portion of my materials to add synthetic muscle to my frame in order to use the armor properly.

Space Marines in the 40k universe had what was called a black carapace, which was basically additional nerve interfaces that help operate the armor, so I had to re-rout all these connections through my nano cores.

Finally, I redid the mounting interface so it was closer to fallout power armor.

Walk up to the mounting station, step into the armor, and your good to go.

Honestly, I'd have a hell of an easier time if I had a flesh and blood body to work with, but it also allowed for unique modifications.

Removal of the food and water injectors, air bottles, air purifiers, blood oxygenation chambers, and a host of other life support systems, allowed me to add some fun surprises and toys.

I wanted to integrate the Necron Tech but ran into several problems with the drives I had acquired.

The Cryptek's were the eclectic scientists of the necron's, often not attaching themselves to one specific group, instead focusing on science and discovery. The powers they wielded were so far beyond what I thought of in the way of possibilities.

Particularly powerful Cryptek's were capable of manipulating the fabric of the universe with advanced science, often rearranging the atoms of their enemies to create more materials for their experiments.

Thus, when poking around the drives, artifacts were discovered within data vaults on the drives.

This slowed my progress significantly in developing my undead Necron army, as the nano core deemed these artifacts to be more important than any data they could retrieve.

Ah well, I'll leave them to that while I finish up these Nemesis Force Weapons.

While they were specifically designed with the psykers of the imperium in mind, they made excellent conduits for magic.

Psyker was just a general catch-all term for anyone capable of using magic in that universe, with the nemesis force weaponry designed to reflect the power of the psyker who wields it. Making the truly devastation of such weapons apparent.

Picking up the Nemesis Falchion from the pile of weapons I had completed, I watch it light up in a brilliant blue as my mana flows through it.

Deactivating it and tossing it in my inventory, I throw on my jacket and head towards the door of the Tardis.

Pushing open the doors, the misty wind buffets against my bones as I step out into the graveyard.

Managed to find this old graveyard that the world forgot, so I've been using it for necromancy practice.

New Spells added!

[Speak with the Dead] (1/100)

Allows the necromancer to converse with the deceased.

[Soul Absorption] (1/100)

Enables the necromancer to harvest the souls of the deceased. Stronger souls are capable of resisting its effects.

[Summon Ghost] (1/100)

Summons a Ghost into your service.

[Summon Shadow] (1/100)

Summons a Shadow into your service.

The only problem was the pain I experienced whenever the holy and dark energies collided, limiting any experimentation that I was capable of for either class.

Playing with the darker energies healed me a bit, but the second that I tried to do paladin stuff to bring that into balance . . . .

*FWOOOSH*

Goddammit!

[It is amusing to watch you light up the second you try to use holy energy.]

Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Iris.

Opening a portal, water started dumping over my body, dousing the fire and allowing me to continue with my practice.

[Time Skip]

[Artemis POV]

After slapping my brother back into shape, I couldn't quite take my mind off the odd skeleton.

Most undead had and an unnatural hatred towards the living, often going out of their way to kill living beings.

Yet the skeleton acted no different from a human.

Both capable of higher brain functions, and a distinct sense of self preservation. It was acutely aware of the power difference of those he delt with.

And yet, he ran a Tavern that was becoming wildly popular with mythological entities. His bartering system was something of note too. While money was an accepted form of payment, books, items and various treasures were accepted in leu of cash.

Almost like a dragon accepting offerings while guarding its hoard. I wouldn't be surprised if his services extended beyond that of a Tavern keeper within a short period of time.

Many within the Grecian Parthenon hadn't managed to find and visit his mysterious tavern, thus I decided to lead my hunters on a proper hunt of this mysterious blue box. Both to try its food, and teach my hunters a good lesson about monsters. They had never encountered a Lich before, so it would be better that they encounter a benevolent one before running into a true being of evil.

My hunters were already peripherally aware of other Parthenon's, having hunted their beasts before, so finding an obscure monster like this would serve as an excellent learning opportunity.

Most of the sightings for the box were seen in Ireland and England for the most part with seemingly no discernable pattern. It wasn't till I started looking for the smell of death did we actually ascertain a direction.

He seemed to be visiting ancient battlefields, graveyards, and the ruins of ancient structures. In other words, where places of death were strongest.

So I had Zoe select one that he had yet to visit and we were traveling there now.

I could see the hunters shifting nervously as we proceeded through the forests to yet another gravesite.

Being in the countries of foreign Parthenon's was one thing, but the most dangerous of monsters tended to reside here, making it a dangerous proposition for demigods to make a trip.

"Milady look!" Phoebe exclaimed, pointing at a pillar of light that flashed up into the sky.

"Holy energy . . ." Zoe whispered, causing my nod of agreement.

"A paladin has engaged in combat. It's been nearly a century since I last saw it. Let's see if they measure up to their forebearers." I order, causing our speed to increase exponentially.

We finally arrived at a demolished clearing to see golden flaming skeleton holding a sword and shield, facing off against a pale creature with long fangs, its eyes shadowed and snarling.

"An Abhartach?" I state in surprise.

The Celtic version of a vampire, supposedly was the inspiration of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I didn't think their were any still alive.

The creature lunges across the clearing, its claws raking across the skeletons skull as he dodges at the last second, his blade igniting with a combination of holy energy and magic.

[SMITE!]

The powerful phrase uttered, sent the creature slamming into a tree.

"Kekekekeke! How long can you keep that up little lich? I can feel your soul burning up from here. Why don't you save us both the trouble and give it to me?" The creature cackled, bones snapping back into place.

"As long as you still stand, I'll cling to my life long enough to rip you in half!" The skeleton's burning form roared back, unwinding a censor from his waist, spinning it up and causing smoke to fill the clearing.

The smell of pine sap filled the clearing as the holy light shone brighter.

"What's that going to do? Make me smell nice?" The Abhartach mocked, his own form starting to turn into black smoke.

The censor whips out wrapping around the vampire, binding it in place.

"Nah, just needed to get you to hold still . . . ." The skeletons voice came out of the smoke, his glowing eyes becoming visible once more.

The creature struggles as the skeleton chants, his blade turning near white.

Let the Machine witness this disciple,

For this soul stands as rust before the great machine.

Let my blade swing true,

As I take upon myself judgment for this soul.

Let The Machine God take my soul unto himself,

Should I judge this soul wrong.

I dedicate this hymn as I perform the rituals of purification,

And I take responsibility for its cleansing!

For an instant I saw a cloaked figure standing behind the skeleton, miming the raised blade, as it plunged into the creature's heart.

It screams out in pain, flailing around the blade, the skeleton standing there unflinching before the Abhartach collapsed motionless.

I almost go to greet him when I feel the energies reverse, the holy fire burning away the skeleton switching out for dark energies.

As the scorched bone regenerates, he reaches down and releases a burst of dark energies.

A light forms from the head of the vampire, extracting itself until it forms into a blood red orb.

Its soul!

I realized that as soon as the skeleton placed the orb in its mouth, absorbing the energy into its body.

The remaining bone rebuilt itself, his canines elongating slightly.

[Tavish POV]

Vampires were a pain in my ass.

But they were probably one of the best ways to increase paladin abilities.

In that regard, immediate assimilation of his soul was definitely the right move.

New Affinity gained!

[Blood Affinity] (1/100)

Denotes your affinity with blood based magics.

New spell gained!

[Life Drain] (1/100) (Common)

Drain an opponent's HP to replenish your own.

As my awareness returned, I could sense a large gathering just beyond the tree line.

Picking out the silver energy running through them, but unable to sense their intentions, I prep for a fight shouting out; "If you're prepping for an ambush, I got a lotta gas left in the tank, and I can un-alive at least half of you before I burn out." I threaten, grimacing as I think of the reality.

My synthetic muscle was already toast, melted from the surge of holy energies. My skeleton wasn't completely finished repairing from the damage sustained from the vampire.

It was to my relief when I recognized Artemis followed by what I assume were her hunters.

"Lady Artemis. My apologies. I must look a right state now." I amend, my knee buckling slightly as I relax for the first time in hours.

"Worry not Mr. Byrne. How long did you spend hunting that creature?" She questioned, gesturing to the remains that were slowly turning to ash behind me.

"Two weeks Milady. Chased him up and down the country before my blade found him here." I inform proudly.

"Well that explains the wild trail we took to find you. Though I do have to ask; Holy and Dark magic? you'd most certainly be causing a lot less harm to yourself if you just focused on dark magics." She questioned, the hunters behind her tensing up.

"Ah, well If I keep them in balance until they mature, I could get my body back!" I inform cheerfully.

"I see. Well, are you still open for business today? I promised the hunters a good meal today." Artemis requested, causing me to chuckle.

"After coming so far? How can I say no." I reply, snapping my fingers.

A familiar whooshing sound fills the air as Nova fades into existence, causing many of the hunters to stare in confusion.

"Give me five minutes and I'll be ready for you." I inform stepping inside to change into my uniform.

[Artemis POV]

"Milady, can we trust him? He could be setting a trap." Phoebe voiced

"No, I very much doubt that. Unlike other lich's I've run across, Tavish is somewhat simple. That's not to say he isn't intelligent, but he doesn't plot. His profession seems to take the form of whatever grabs his interest at the time so I very much doubt he has the patience for such a thing. Besides, we are hardly his only customers." I inform the nervous hunter.

Precisely five minutes later, those blue doors opened inward, letting light from inside illuminate the dark forest.

Stepping into the warm light and revealing the inside of the tavern, the cheerful voice of Tavish drew my attention; "Welcome to the TARDIS Tavern! What can I get you today?"

He was all polished up after his fight wearing the same uniform I saw him in last time.

Glancing around the interior properly, I saw the pictures, the weapons, and armors on display, each one more alien than the next.

"Take a load off and relax, I'll grab some menus." He stated, the flames in his eyes dancing in amusement as the hunter's noisily piled in letting out exclamations of wonder.

"It's bigger on the inside!" one of the newer hunter's commented, staring around at the new surroundings.

The Skeleton wandered from table to table, setting down menus and several pitchers of water.

"I'll get you some stuff to start off." He commented. Heading back behind the counter.

Glancing down at the menu he left me, I read through the many items that I had never even heard of before.

Picking up the glass of water I took a drink, feeling it flow down my throat like air. It was the most refreshing water I had ever had.

Shaking my glass a little, I watch some of the water float in the air as little droplets for a moment before slowly coming back down.

Staring at the glass in amazement, I switch my attention to the skeleton prepping food behind the counter.

He took a massive leafy plant and sliced the leaves open revealing the texture of bacon.

Tossing it on his grill, the smell of bacon shortly permeated the room, causing many mouths to water. Many of the nymphs among my hunters were watching in anticipation. Their diets were predominantly vegetarian based so this was an interesting novelty for them.

Plates started levitating as he rapidly dished up the hunters, adding several leaves of a pale-yellow lettuce.

"Alright ladies, the way you eat this one is you wrap the bacon leaf with the cheese cabbage." The skeleton instructed much to the bewilderment of the hunters.

Taking the initiative, I follow his instructions wrapping up my bacon leaf and taking a bite.

Flavor explodes in my mouth, the crunchy confection permeating my entire being and whetting my appetite.

As some of the hunters start following suit, some pear-shaped rainbow breads were floated out onto the table.

[Time Skip]

[Artemis POV]

The evening wore on as we seemed to eat the most delicious of foods, all of them bearing the strangest of names, yet presenting the most flavorful sensation that would permeate my body.

I've never encountered a food that would cause physical pleasure before, the memory causing me to shudder at the embarrassing moments I encountered over the course of the night.

That enigmatic skeleton quickly became a source of entertainment and fascination for the hunters as he told tales of his own adventures. While I was slightly skeptical of a few, he definitely led an adventurous life.

They seemed to enjoy the ones about the city under the ocean the most, while the world taken over by wild machines aroused the curiosity of many.

Now we were departing back for America, I had left payment on behalf of both myself and my brother.

Stepping out the doors with a departing wave, the blue police box started flickering out of existence with that familiar whooshing noise.

I found myself wondering when I would next see him again.

"Milady?" Zoe questioned hesitantly.

"Yes Zoe?" I ask watching my lieutenant fidget nervously.

"Do you think he was different alive than he is now?" She questioned, debating with herself.

"No. The Tavish we met now is probably the same as the one that ran around with impunity all those years ago." I say with a soft smile.

"But unchanging after all this time?" He was a mortal at one point right?" She continued questioning, prompting me to shake my head.

"He hasn't changed because his adventure's still going. Our visit was just another event that happened as he explores the universe." I start.

"While he is definitely looking for somethings, his sheer curiosity drives him to discover and evolve with the world around him. Did you not see how excited he was when I gave him that mysterious crate I discovered several weeks ago along with the celestial bronze blades? While they are useless to us, they serve as a fascination for him." I continue, voicing my thoughts on the enigmatic being.

[Tavish POV]

Artemis just became my favorite goddess.

She paid me with a Loot Box!

Sure, the daggers were nice and all, but the loot crates were an absolute bitch to find. And they almost always contained a Funko figurine of some sort.

This particular box kinda looked like one of those overwatch Halloween loot boxes for some reason, but I was never one to be hung up on aesthetics.

Popping open the crate, I enthusiastically start digging through the contents.

[Reaper Outfit: Overwatch] (Epic)

[Perk: Little Reaper] (Epic)

[Hades Funko Figure] (Rare)

[Jack' o' lantern] (Common)

[Gacha Token x 10] (Common)

Examining the perk, I had to do a double take at the description.

[Little Reaper] (1/100)

Turn into an adorable snack sized reaper based off of your previous skeletal form! Throw off your enemies with your cute little form with accompanying cloak and scythe! (Unlocks Reaper class while in this form.)

The fuck?

Activating the perk, I suddenly shrink to a two-foot-tall skeleton floating just above the ground, a cloak wrapped around my shoulders as a little scythe appeared in my hands.

Floating over to a mirror, I glance over my new form. Definitely less intimidating than my main body, but the scythe really did look slightly unsettling in my hands.

Ah well, lets take a look at these other items . . . .

[Reaper Outfit: Overwatch]

A fellow gamer set out to make the ultimate reaper cosplay, complete with wraith form, death blossom, and unlimited shotguns that are pulled from . . . . somewhere.

Eh, maybe interesting for a goof. Might make a good alter ego in the next superhero world I visit.

Tossing the remaining stuff in my inventory, I practice moving about in "mini-me" mode before heading towards the library.

[Time Skip]

The little reaper mode made it super convenient for moving about town.

The ability to float around at high speeds made for quite an elusive target to spot, as I zoomed over the roof tops of London.

Occasionally, I would run across a wayward soul that was floating in different parts of the city.

I could send that soul on to the afterlife, and the game would reward me with a copy of said soul for my soul well, so really, I was doing the local death gods a favor.

It was fairly disconcerting using this mode, because technically, I had no access to my other abilities because I was in uniform so to speak. But It kinda leveled similar to other classes and seemed to fall outside of the parameters of the class restriction for the world challenge.

Truthfully, I was at a loss for how to acquire souls in this world. I liked working around the fringes of events thus far, and I didn't want to just start "hunting the wicked" or anything crazy like that so the reaper class was a godsend.

I could placate temperamental death gods, level up my lich body, and reap the wicked, all without starting an international mythological manhunt. A win-win for everyone!

More than anything, the class just increased my control over souls and spirits. Makes figuring out my body a tad easier in that regard.

Sometimes it's a bit sad, the soul not wanting to move on, unfinished business and all that. But souls that hang around too long can get a bit malicious, becoming poltergeists, haunting people, possession, are just a few of the more mild effects of a soul hanging around too long.

I like to think of it as my way of cleaning up a bit of pollution in the world. Because once the spirit moves on, ambient magic starts retuning to the area, allowing it to feel a bit cleaner in the air and surroundings.

The weirdest part of the class is how it had established itself as a production type class.

Is it because it registers the harvesting of souls to be work? Or that producing souls for use is the whole point of the class?

Loosely speaking, none of my production classes thus far developed any sort of combat abilities unless I go out of my way to do so.

Alchemy is the prime example that comes to mind.

The scythe was something to get used to as well. Before, I deemed scythes to be horribly inefficient weapons for killing someone, but I have to admit, I've warmed up to it some.

On the flip side, I'd take what I can get at this point. The removal of my slayer and technomancy abilities hit me harder than I would like to admit.

While I was a mite irritated for getting gyped out of rewards for killing a significant number of the monster association, It wasn't exactly something I could blame Iris for. She said she had some compensation lined up when she got the final bit of the system back online.

But back to the scythe.

Both it and the cloak were upgradeable items with the usage of souls. The cloak seemed to contain any possible reference Items I'd need to send a soul to its proper afterlife. Had a little black book embossed with a skull that helped me keep everything straight.

Spotting a new soul floating out of a bloodstained ally, I float down and harvest it.

Before I did so, I glanced down the ally to observe the viciously beaten body of the small child.

[Observe]

Timothy Pratt

Lvl -5

Demigod son of Hecate

Status effect: Internal bleeding, concussion.

Kid couldn't be more than five at a stretch, and here he was destined to die according to the so-called Fates.

Predetermined fate kinda pissed me off in all sorts of different ways. Implying the choices we make don't matter, that no matter what we do, we will be destined for whatever was pre determined.

Well fuck that!

The kid hadn't quite crossed into my realm yet so technically I could do this.

Pulling an air hypo out of my inventory, I poke it into his chest, releasing a dose of health potion.

The kids breathing even's out a little bit as his injuries knit themselves back together.

[Achievement Unlocked!]

[Title and associated perks acquired.]

Perk Added!

[Fate Breaker]

Your absolute anemia to having another's choice forced upon you and others, has allowed you to break free of fates plans! The bonds of fate have no hold over you or the things you touch. Peoples paths change, and prophecies become invalid in your presence.

Huh . . . .

Well they didn't exactly have a hold on me in the first place so I guess its just a minor reward for saving the kid?

Oh well, now I need to figure out where to put the kid . . . .

Maybe contacting his parent was in order?

Let's see if I can remember how to make an Iris call . . .

[Unknown location]

[3rd Person POV]

In a room filled from wall to wall with yarn, constantly weaving massive tapestries and stories, Their was absolute mayhem.

A thread that had appeared almost a hundred years ago started acting up, ripping itself from its pre-set plan and started transforming other portions of tapestries. Granting immunities to the scissors that cut the threads of fate.

This threads every action demolished years of planning set in place hundreds of years ago, prompting three very old ladies to scramble to stop it.

[Apollo's POV]

While attempting to predict the next location of where that silly lich and his blue box would show up next, all my predictions regarding Tavish vanished.

Like fog on a mirror, one by one every foreseeable future for Tavish was clouded from my sight.

Dammit!

How was I going to taste his delicious meals now?!

I was always able to locate him for a meal long before any other entity, how can I continue to enjoy his culinary delights if I'm the last to know about it?

Time to pull out some older methods.

Conjuring a Ouija board I start attempting to guess the tavern's next location.

[Time Skip]

[Tavish POV]

Man, no matter how you look at it, necromancy, reaping souls, that sounds like a proper edge lord level shenanigan.

Truth is, at the end of the day, I preferred machines, and most of the lower-level mobs I could summon were just plain inferior to that of machines.

Machines would carry out their orders with a precision unseen in other troops, executing complex maneuvers beyond the higher thinking process of standard summoned mobs.

Thus when I had to do necromancy to gain my body back, I compromised.

Standing before the newly constructed bio-furnace, I sent the first skeleton through the conversion process. After several minutes, it came out.

Striped of organic matter, its Necrodermis glinted in the pail green light created by the bio-furnace, my first Necron Warrior took its first steps out into the room as I assumed control.

While It took a while to manufacture them, they would grow and spread to make up the majority of my standing forces for however long I'd be required to do necromancy.

Maybe I should be calling it Necronmancy at this point?

[Necromancy has leveled up by 1!]

Either way, the system deemed it an acceptable substitute for raising the dead through conventional means.

Summoning more skeletons, I start the slow process of building up my forces once more.

[Interlude: Fate forever altered]

[Hecate POV]

I sat beside the bed of the scruffy malnourished child that had been dropped off in my care.

Struggling to hold back tears, I gently brush the long bangs out of his eyes.

As a god, a restriction placed on us by the fates is we are forbidden from looking after our children, often to disastrous results.

A good example, would be what happened earlier tonight.

Our children never had the best lives to begin with, but Timothy's was exceptionally brutal.

His father dying when he was less than a year old resulted in him getting transferred to the foster system for all of a year before falling into the hands of child trafficker's.

He was rapidly sold to a sweatshop in the depths of London, forced to make counterfeit merchandise to be sold in souvenir shops all throughout Europe.

His skills and abilities resulted him to be the target of more than one vicious beating, the final one was the result of his attempted escape.

When the Lich managed to contact me over Iris message, I was both surprised and overjoyed to hear of his survival and rushed to pick him up.

My heart broke when I saw the skeleton holding the small frail body when I arrived to retrieve him.

But I noticed a glaring difference about my child.

His threads of fate . . . . .

They were gone!

He was out of their purview!

After immediately hiding him with my magic, I interrogated the lich as to the reasoning only to find he had less of an idea than I did.

Swearing the lich to secrecy, I took him home and started the healing process.

Truthfully, this would be the first of my demigod children that I have been able to take care of. But I would not waste it!

I have already failed this child by allowing the world to rip him apart, but I will not let it happen again!

[Interlude 2: The Gourmet World Stirs]

As a being sets out into the world for the first time in a millennia, ancient beings wake.

Ingredients long forgotten by the world stir as they agitate the gourmet cells in every item on the planet.

Beasts long though extinct resurge with a vengeance, new flavors propagating throughout the world.

A man once described an ice cream mountain range with vanilla, mint, and chocolate peaks that melt gently in your mouth.

Another described a delectable bowl fruit which taste of pork cutlet bowls, tempura bowls, and beef bowls.

This world has entered its Gourmet age in which one man quests for yet unknown culinary delights!