Chapter 34

Have you ever felt that? That compulsive pull and shove. Your brain shuts down, your body movement locks into one direction like a compass, your heart thumps through your ears like a drum, and your crippling thirst knows only one remedy.

I could not stop myself as I find my frantic footsteps following him to the bedroom, and his footsteps slowed to a halt as he felt me right behind him.

He turned around to meet my burning gaze fiercely, and I waited for him to make a move. Meet me halfway. Just a little encouragement. But nothing.

The sea of red in his eyes was cautioning me of the dark clouds above us. But it was also encouraging me to leap. To damn all the consequences and get what I want.

Coward. The voice inside me blared.

Two hands that looked exactly like mine grabbed his face and pulled him to my lips the second I saw that flash of green. "I have wanted to kiss you all week." He murmured and kissed me passionately.

His solid body pressed me into the mattress as he threw me in and laid between my legs that immediately wrapped around him. He located the delicate strings of my panties and shifted it aside.

"Stop."

I heard the coward in me say, and he painfully withdrew, with both of us breathing erratically.

Just let him hit. It is just sex. This is all you have wanted ever since you set your eyes on him, so let him fuck you to oblivion. Your heart and mind should not have a place in your vagina, Debby. Separate your emotions from the sins of the flesh.

"We cc... ant do t. his. We are moving too fast… and I am not comfortable with that."

Oh no Debby, you are such a downer.

He kissed my head and laid next to me. We laid staring into each other's eyes, and he lightly grazed my cheek with the back of his palm.

"I missed you, Debs. A lot."

This sounds a lot like my dream.

"I missed you too." A small feminine voice replied.

No, Debby, that was you.

He shifted closer and kissed my cheek with his clouded gaze piercing into me.

He did the same thing in my dream, too.

"What did you miss about me?" He asked, cupping my jaw with one hand.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Right?

"I missed your face, your smile, your voice, your jokes."

Say what?

"Your stubbornness, your gigantic ego, your..."

His moist lips silenced me. He withdrew and searched my eyes for any form of protest. My traitorous body said yes, but my annoying and nagging mind said no. He turned away. But two hands resembling mine grabbed his face and pulled him to my lips again. His tongue sought for entrance, and I hesitated.

He grabbed my hair, lightly tugged it, and slid his tongue in as I gasped from the pain. His kiss was hungry, demanding, and fierce as he set the wildfire within me, and all I wanted was for him to quench it.

I wanted more, more of his passionate kisses and more of his blazing caress, more of him. I grabbed his hair and tug, eliciting a growl from him as our tongue duelled in a fierce battle, communicating the desires I had long forgotten. A loud moan escaped my lips when his hands grazed my nipple through the thin fabric of my nightgown. His relentless and talented tongue drove me crazy.

I wanted more.

He bit down on my neck, and I stifled another moan. He manoeuvred us so that he was on top with his hard bulge grinding into me. His hand found my panties and shifted it aside.

"Stop."

Oh, not again, Debby. You are such a Debbie Downer.

"We can't. I feel pressured."

I forced the words out. The magic words that turn scalding water into ice. He lifted himself off me, and I grimaced at the loss of contact.

"I'm sorry, Debs." He ran his shaky hands through his curls. "I guess I got carried away. I did not mean to pressure you." He got up from the bed.

"It's a mistake."

Mistake? Kissing me was a mistake?

"Just forget that it happened."

Did he just tell me to forget what happened?

How can I ever forget that?

"I um... We should use different bedrooms. I cannot control myself around you, Debs. I will be in the guest room." He made his way to the door. "Goodnight, Debs." He softly closed the door behind him.

Forget what happened?

You don't just arouse my feelings with the best kiss of my life and then tell me to forget it.

You told him to stop, you, idiot.

I know I made him stop, but I was not expecting him to kiss me. I just wanted to know what we were doing.

Is making out not what we call it?

Can you just shut up for a few seconds and allow me to think for myself?

I am tired of the pressure, the judgement, and the conflicting inner thoughts, and him being so sexy is not helping me.

Fuck!

Now I can't sleep with his intoxicating scent all over me, his minty taste lingering on my tongue, the sweet sting of his bite on my neck, my hardened nipples from his soft touch and my dripping wet core.

The odds are not in your favour, Debby.

Samuel, you, sexy son of a bitch.

After two showers, thrashing around, and raining curses on my situation, I finally made it through the night.