YOU ARE FORGETTING SOMETHING

I drove the truck back to the dealership, and the three of us got out of the truck. Paul asked, "Why don't Roxanne and I head inside to start the paperwork, and you can start moving your things into the new truck?" I looked at Roxanne, and she smiled. I affirmed, "Sure." I moved my three suitcases of clothes into the truck's bed, and despite the large suitcases, they only took up a third of the space. I moved a few boxes with my toiletries, the bag belonging to the hunters, and a box with framed pictures into the bed and after my truck was empty, I moved to Roxanne's car. She packed lightly with only one suitcase of clothes and several duffle bags. I carefully transferred the most important piece of luggage, a large cooler with donated human blood. After I moved her suitcase and the cooler into the truck, I moved on to the duffel bags. The first one was pretty heavy, and as I put the last duffle bag into the truck, I saw an outline of what looked like a dildo. I couldn't help it and looked inside the duffle bag. It was full of money, several government-issued IDs with different dates of birth, the larger-than-needed sparkle-colored dildo, and finally, a revolver in a holster. I wasn't sure what concerned me more: the dildo that was a fair bit bigger than me or the gun. I decided that we needed to have a conversation about the entire bag, but the conversation was a shitshow for a different day, and I needed to wrap things up. I zipped it back up, put her bag into the new truck, and I walked toward the office. About halfway to the office, the voice that tempted me to drink my blood boomed, "YOU ARE FORGETTING SOMETHING!" I froze and then returned to my truck. I looked around to see if I had forgotten something or if I was a candidate for a grippy sock vacation due to auditory hallucinations. I saw nothing in the back and looked under the driver's seat. There was my spoon in its sheath. I grabbed it and looked around to see if anyone else was in eyesight. After not seeing anyone, I got into the new truck; I undid my belt, lowered my pants, and carefully attached it to my thigh. I pulled up my pants and walked into the office.

I walked inside, found the desk Paul was at, sat down, and looked at the papers. Paul said, "Have a quick look and sign in the highlighted areas." I asked, "Where is Roxanne?" Paul returned with, "She's in the restroom." I was worried I would have to cancel the surprise in Vegas because the truck was more expensive than expected, but nothing was in the papers about extra money. My old truck and Roxanne's car covered the cost of the brand-new truck. I began signing and finished quickly because there was no loan. As I finished my last signature, Roxanne sat beside me and asked, "All done?" I smiled, "Yes." She leaned towards me, and I kissed her. We separated, and Pual said, "Here, you go, son, and have fun on your next adventure." He tossed me the keys to the new truck. Roxanne and I stood up, shook Pual's hand, and walked out the door.

I opened the passenger door for Roxanne, and she said, "Thanks, babe." My heart warmed every time she called me a name because I had never experienced that feeling with anyone else. I got in the truck and started the engine, which roared to life. I set my phone onto a built-in holder, and it seamlessly downloaded all of my contacts. The truck was as excited as I was to get on the road. By that point, it was five, and we were due in Vegas that night, but the GPS said six hours. I planned a small excursion as an experiment to see how Roxanne would handle the big surprise. I had endless questions for Roxanne about damn near everything, and I figured now was the time. I put the truck in drive, and we exited the lot. The tank was full, and for a beast of a vehicle, it got 28 miles per gallon, so we wouldn't have to stop for a while. I decided it was time to fulfill my need for answers, but before that mission could begin, my phone buzzed, and a text message displayed on the truck's touch screen labeled "mom." I thought, "Shit, I haven't talked to them in a few days, and it's never good when they text me." Before I could discard the message, Roxanne pressed "read aloud." It read, "Hey bud, it's Mom. Chester found my number in your emergency contact info and texted me. He said you quit, sold your home, and left with a girl. That is the stupidest thing you've ever done, and you know better than to uproot your life for some girl you barely know. Your father and I didn't move in together until after a year of dating, and you decided to do it after a few days. It's not too late to undo most of this, and Chester said you can still return to work. I trust you will do the right thing." Before I could process the ignorance of the message, Roxanne fired off, "That stupid bitch doesn't know a goddamn thing about you!" All I could do was laugh. I said, "That's my mother for you." Roxanne said with a puzzled look, "Her message doesn't piss you off?" I replied, "I've gotten used to her shallow and near-sighted comments over the years. She knows I don't listen to her, so she's trying to get me riled up, so I call her." My casualness surprised Roxanne, and I said, "Don't worry about it. She doesn't know anything about you, nor does she care to. She's only upset because she somehow needs to spin this as her idea for the family Christmas letter." Roxanne leaned over the center console and kissed me on the cheek. She said lovingly. "If she won't love you for who you are, I will."

I decided Roxanne had plenty of time to answer my questions and that I wanted to know a little more about her family. I asked. "Since you have had first-hand experience with how my parents are, it's only fair to let me know about yours." She smiled and said, "I never met my dad. He left when I was a baby, which was rare back then. My mom died when I was 20." I couldn't decide what was worse, having difficult parents who only care about how I make them look or not having parents altogether. I mustered, "I'm sorry." She said, "I learned a long time ago that being sorry for myself wasn't productive and that someone has it much worse than me. If it weren't for my mom getting sick, I would never have gone into nursing and would've never helped as many people as I did. More importantly, I would've met you." All of my human instincts told me this woman was crazy because it seemed as if she was un-naturally obsessed with me. In my mind, there was no way I could mean the world to someone and especially this soon after beginning a romantic relationship, but it felt right; I was trying to process the thought of being important to someone when Roxanne asked, "Were your parents always assholes?"