13. Chapter 13

June 10, 2014 - For those of you who are curious, we are still on course for Elizabeth going to Kent per canon. End of minor spoiler.

Chapter 13

Thursday morning dawned bright and clear. The inhabitants of Netherfield greeted the new day with a great mixture of emotions. Mr. Bingley was anxious to be off. He hated to go and was already pining for Miss Bennet but he reasoned that the sooner he left, the sooner he could return.

Darcy gave orders for the luggage to be taken downstairs and for his carriage to be ready to depart straight after breakfast as well. He had no desire to be around Caroline Bingley any longer than necessary. He was also relieved for reprieve he was to be granted before he would have to face Elizabeth again. He would use these next four weeks to steel his resolve. He could not forget her, that was impossible. But he could try to prepare himself to be indifferent to her. No, why delude himself; he would never be able to be indifferent to her. He asked himself why then if he was glad to be going away, why did he wish not to leave?

Georgiana prepared for her travels with a mixture of emotions as well. She was glad to be going home to Pemberley for Christmas. She was also glad to be with Mrs. Annesley again, for she had proven herself to be a valuable companion. But she would miss Hertfordshire, would miss the inhabitants of the neighborhood. Most of all she knew she would miss Elizabeth. She would see her in a month, that was true, but she wished they had been able to stay the three weeks longer as originally planned.

Caroline Bingley awoke, after the rest of the house as usual, in a joyful mood. The news of the fire was somewhat disconcerting; it had the potential to lessen some of Charles' annual income. But when she realized that it would enable her to escape the desolation that was the country for the comforts of town, she was elated. She only wished Darcy and Georgiana were not leaving for Pemberley today. She would much rather they had gone to Town as she was. At least they would be far from that Eliza Bennet! If her plans worked, she would never have to suffer another Bennet again. Jane Bennet was a convenient distraction from boredom but Charles was paying her much too much notice. It was a good thing he was leaving. If she had it her way he would never come back!

Mrs. Hurst took the news of the fire much harder than her sister. The fire had destroyed a part of the business her father had built. Now that he was gone, it was one of the few links that remained to remind her of him.

Mr. Hurst seemed to recall something about a fire when he awoke. He had too much to drink the day before to remember, not that it was unusual for him to do so. Yes, they would be returning to London the next day. Well, at least he could go to his club to escape his family while in town!

The entire staff awoke that morning much relieved. They found their new master an amiable man. But his sister? What a nightmare! Let her go to London and wreak havoc there and leave them at peace in the country!

So the carriages carrying Bingley and the Darcys were on the road just after breakfast. Caroline made the most of her last day by ordering the house shut for the rest of the fall and winter at least. Extra servants were discharged and paid off and the house prepared to go into slumber once again.

Elizabeth was up at her normal early hour. She decided to sneak in a short walk before breakfast and was on her way to tell her father where she would be. Before she could leave Mr. Bennet asked her to stay.

"Well Lizzy, you certainly had a full day yesterday!"

"That I did father. I want to thank you for not forcing me to marry Mr. Collins, Papa."

"Elizabeth, I would never force such a man on you. You need a husband you can respect and look up to. Anything less would put you in danger of an unequal marriage. I do not wish to see you unhappy. You should not have to suffer as your mother and I have, my child."

Elizabeth was touched by his candor. It was not easy for him to admit his mistakes, especially to her.

"Papa, I never understood why you chose to marry Mama. She is so very different from you."

"Elizabeth" he sighed, "I think you are now old enough to be told about your mother and me. I admit that her beauty captivated me. Even now she is still a very handsome woman, but she was much quieter then. Her 'nerves' only appeared after Jane was born. She was so convinced that Jane was to be my heir that when she was born she began to despair of ever having a son. I tried to tell her that there was plenty of time to have a male child but with every successive birth, and every successive girl she became more and more unmanageable. I am afraid I just gave up after Lydia. The Fanny I married was gone, replaced by a silly woman who takes great delight in gossip, matchmaking and lace."

Elizabeth had moved to stand beside her father during his speech. When he had finish she leaned down and placed a kiss upon his head.

"I am so sorry, Papa, we never knew. She has always been like this as long as any of us can remember. It must have been disheartening to watch. I can see why you retreated into this room so often."

"No Lizzy, I should never have given up. I neglected my wife and my daughters. I should have been saving to increase your dowries. I have not. I should have taken a more active role in supervising your education. I have not. I am amazed at how well both you and Jane have turned out."

"It is not too late for my younger sisters. Papa, yesterday Mary came to me and asked me to help her. She says she wants to become more than she is right now. I believe she would welcome any attention from you. But please, you must promise me not offer to discuss books of sermons with her!" Elizabeth added coyly.

"I shall try, Lizzy. Besides, with you gone for six weeks after Christmas I will need another sensible person to keep me company! Speaking of your trip to town, are you eager to be gone?"

"I am looking forward to spending Christmas with my family Papa."

Elizabeth was interrupted by the opening and closing of the front door. They were surprised to see Mr. Collins hurrying off in the direction of Lucas Lodge.

"I wonder where he can be going?" Elizabeth voiced.

"I believe he is going to pay homage to Sir William, and maybe his eldest daughter."

"Charlotte? What could she possibly want him for?" Elizabeth was repulsed by the thought of her old friend welcoming the attentions of such a fool as her cousin.

"Elizabeth, Charlotte Lucas is almost past the marriageable age. Becoming the future mistress of Longbourn is enough of an inducement for some." Mr. Bennet said wisely.

"But at what price? I have to say that I will think much less of Charlotte if she were to accept an offer from such a disgusting man!"

"There, there Lizzy, nothing may come of it. At least if it does you will have had some time to acquaint yourself with the idea before you must face Charlotte again. Would you end your friendship if she did accept him?"

"If she did, things certainly would be different between us. But I would never abandon her just because I believe she made a foolish choice."

"Let us go have some breakfast then. I do not suppose your mother or two youngest sisters will be down yet!"

Elizabeth was pleased to see Jane and Mary this morning. She had told Jane about her conversations with Mary yesterday and Jane was very pleased that Mary had chosen to come to them. She was always concerned that Mary did not get out in the world enough.

"Mary," Jane began, "Lizzy has told me you have plans to go on a walk after breakfast today. Would you mind if I joined you?"

Mary was visibly pleased that both her elder sisters would take notice of her. "Yes Jane, I would like that very much."

The three girls gathered their things and went for a walk towards Meryton.

"I wonder were Mr. Collins was off to in such a hurry this morning?" Jane began.

"Papa thinks it was to Lucas Lodge," Elizabeth ventured.

"Whatever for?" Jane asked

"To see Charlotte Lucas of course!" Mary quipped

Jane and Elizabeth were stunned at Mary's remark.

"What makes you say that, Mary?" It was Elizabeth's turn to ask.

Mary could not help but giggle. "I overheard our cousin talking to himself yesterday. Would you like to hear what he was saying?"

Jane was mortified but Elizabeth was intrigued. "Mary, you know that it is improper to listen to other people's conversations!" Elizabeth was having a hard time not laughing.

"But if one is talking to himself is he actually having a conversation?" Mary countered.

Elizabeth lost her self-control! "Now that you put it that way, pray tell us what he said!" Elizabeth managed to say between peals of laughter.

Even Jane was curious at this point.

"Well, I was on my way to my room when I heard our cousin talking. At first I wondered if anyone was with him but quickly realized he was alone when he started answering himself. He was going on and on about some list. I really did not think much of it until he started naming names."

"What names, Mary?" Jane beat Elizabeth to the question.

"The first name I heard was yours, Jane. He said 'Jane, already spoken for,'" Jane blushed at this. "Then he said 'Elizabeth, enough said there. Ungrateful chit!'" Mary had to stop there because of Elizabeth's howls of Laughter.

Once she had gained control of herself again Elizabeth said, "I am sorry, Mary, go on."

"Next it was I. Let us see, he said 'Mary, too interested in her books, would not give me enough of her attention.'"

"Lucky escape, Mary!"

"Yes, Elizabeth! Then he said 'Kitty - flirting with officers unbecoming for the wife of a clergyman'"

"I knew there was some good to the War Office having them quartered in Meryton. There had to be some redeeming value to it!" Elizabeth mocked, "Was there more, Mary?"

"Oh yes, I am getting to the interesting part! Now then, next he said 'Lydia – too wild a twit!,'" Elizabeth snorted, "And then he started on the ladies of Lucas Lodge. 'Miss Lucas – a bit old but not too high born, Father knighted, useful around the house. Not many prospects, unlikely to say no.'"

"Poor Charlotte!" Elizabeth sighed.

"Finally he said 'Miss Maria, too young I think. Nor able to handle duties of a clergyman's wife.'"

"Lucky Maria!" Elizabeth added.

"Lizzy! You should not say such things and you are not being a very good example to Mary!" Jane warned.

"Jane, Jane, you are right as always. Mary, I should have acted with more decorum, but I challenge you to have done any better if our places had been switched!" Elizabeth said with a twinkle in her eye. "Mary, if you learn anything from me and from Jane, it is that different personalities have different ways of expressing themselves. Jane is always the model of decorum. I dearly love to laugh and will do so if the situation allows. Your tale this morning was one such time. But if we had been in much company I would have shown more restraint. I laughed because I knew I could open myself up to you. Do you understand what I am trying to say, Mary?"

"If I understand you correctly, Elizabeth, you are saying that you should be true to your personality and character. Current society will place a limit on your expression but you will allow your true self to shine forth when you are with people you know will not judge you ill for it."

"That is right, Mary. Jane has very fervent feelings, you should know this." Mary nodded, "But she rarely shows them to those outside her inner family circle. That way only those who truly know her will truly know her feelings. Am I correct, Jane?"

Jane blushed, "I could never feel comfortable showing my emotions and feelings to people in general. Lizzy is much more comfortable doing so but she never allows herself such openness that will garner disapproval or ridicule."

"The point of this is, Mary," Elizabeth jumped in, "is that we are all different and must therefore strive to find the balance of what we feel comfortable showing and what is acceptable to show. As you are more in company you will need to learn this about yourself. Jane and I will help and guide you as much as we can. We will let you know when you are bordering on the unacceptable as well as when you try and sink back into yourself as you have often done before. You have shown us today that you have a sharp sense of humor and you proved to be very observant in noticing father's restriction on me. I thought only Jane knew about it. Coming out into the world, out of your sisters' shadow will be work, Mary. But in the end I think you will find your contentment there."

By this time the three of them were in Meryton. They stopped to pick up some more salts for their mother; yesterday she had used up more than her normal share. Then they headed back home.

Elizabeth noted Jane's sadness but did not remark on it until they were home and Mary had gone to practice the pianoforte.

"Next time I will work with Mary on her playing!" Elizabeth remarked. "Jane, you are unhappy. Mr. Bingley is gone from Netherfield but he has promised to return as soon as he can."

"Yes Lizzy, but I cannot help but be disappointed. When he said he would call the day after the Ball my hopes were raised."

"About what, Jane?"

"I believe that he was going to ask permission to formally court me, Lizzy."

"Why did he not ask before he left?"

"He said it would be unfair of him to me to speak of the things he wished to say before he left since he had no idea when he would be able to return."

"But he said he would come back?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you sad?"

"Because he is gone and I know not how long."

"Oh Jane, it will all turn out well!"

"He asked me to write his sister and tell her if I have any news. Caroline leaves tomorrow."

'Good riddance!' Elizabeth muttered under her breath.

"The time will go by quickly enough Jane. The Gardiners will be here soon for Christmas and I know how much you enjoy our little cousins."

"I shall try not to be sad, for you dearest sister."

Lunch was a strained affair that day. Mrs. Bennet was living up to her threats of never speaking to Elizabeth again. But that did not stop her from speaking about Elizabeth in front of her as if she were not there. Mr. Bennet finally was forced to put a stop to it and soon after Elizabeth excused herself pleading a headache.

Mary came up to her room to check on Elizabeth.

"Are you well, Elizabeth?"

"Thank you, Mary. Yes I am well. I just needed to be away from Mama right now."

"For what it is worth, I have thought much on what you had to say about Mr. Collins and I think you were right to refuse him. He would not have made any of us a good husband."

Elizabeth grabbed her sister's hand and pulled her into an embrace. "I am proud of you, Mary. You have allowed yourself some critical thought and come up with your own conclusions. That is a very important thing to learn. I am looking forward to watching you bloom, Mary. I have never thought of you as any less pretty than the rest of us, except Jane that is. She is five times as pretty as the rest of us but then again she has the sweet disposition to match! And Mary, beauty is more than skin deep. You already possess a great inner beauty and do not believe anyone who claims you do not!"

Mary was deeply moved by her sister's kind words. She had always felt inferior to Elizabeth and Jane. Could she ever be their equal? It was thrilling to imagine it so. Thus tears of sadness and release mingled with tears of hope. Elizabeth seemed to recognize this and held her sister silently until she was finished. Once her tears had stopped, Elizabeth took a handkerchief and dried Mary's eyes.

"Do not worry, Mary. Jane and I will be here to help you. We will not give up on you. Do not give up on yourself. Promise?"

Mary, with still shiny eyes nodded her head to say yes.

Elizabeth spent the remainder of the afternoon in quiet conversation with her next younger sister. It would prove to be the beginnings of a much deeper relationship between the two of them that would last the rest of their lives.