You Are Not Alone, Someone Is With You

Chapter five.

In our community, death is seen as a rite of passage and is celebrated with elaborate rituals; burial affects the entire community, and the relatives of the deceased come also from afar to attend this event that provides that everyone deserves to be buried in their motherland.

That was a very different case with granny. One she did not have relatives to attend her burial, and two, she was buried the same day that she died.

The mourners weep sing and dance to chase away the spirits of death who have taken their loved ones. This was a bit different because apart from mum and I, grandma had no other family. And again, people were truly sad and even though they tried their best to celebrate this, it was quite an abomination to our community.

Traditionally the funeral consists of fourteen rituals that are celebrated in full only for the elderly; some of these rituals are not celebrated and this selection is made on the basis of age, sex, and marital status of the deceased. Grandma obviously missed a number because one, I have never met my grandpa, that could mean he is either dead or grandma did not get married. Two, she was a woman and I am not saying that to discriminate, no, I am saying this because it's a requirement that women don't go through some of these rituals.

The first ritual announces the death and it is performed by women in the early morning launching a long and shaky groan followed by the sound of drums. Grandma missed the latter because of the ordeal.

This is followed by the ritual of the dead wake, this provides that close relatives of the deceased must remain inside the hut and watch over her until burial; this ritual can last a few days, so as to allow the distant relatives to return. We had none of this because one grandma just had the two of us and because of the nature of how she died. At the same time the villagers run the ritual of the tomb excavation for subsequent burial. The young men were used to get this done and their payment was plenty of food.

At this point an elaborate ritual is celebrated to accompany the spirit of the deceased: men kill a cock and eat the flesh then drive the deceased cattle to the river for water to drag out the spirits; after this, they return, accompanying cattle to the house of the deceased, shouting and singing louder and louder as they get closer to the homestead.

This is kind of beautiful and I think it was done by the young men in the community. May she rest in eternity.

The relatives are subjected to the ritual of shaving the hair, especially the spouse, so to free them from the mourning taboo. We did not do this. I have no idea why but mum was told by the wise man and the elders of our community that, we couldn't carry out the ritual.

The rituals that follow are: the return home of the relatives, the ritual of serving lunch to the deceased and the ritual of the visit to the widow or widower, these rituals involve the sacrifice of an ox, and marks the end of mourning. Well, there was a slaughter of one of the oldest ox, offered by one of the elders and yes, this is what marked the end of us mourning granny.

The last rituals are similar to the division of inheritance, in this case, everything that belongs to granny was given to the young man who was always with him. He blamed himself for not being there during the ordeal and said he will kill the monster with his own hands.

Other rituals are linked specifically to the social status of the deceased, for example, if a girl died a virgin, an elderly woman is hired to deflower the body to avoid the girl's spirit being angry and causing damages to her relatives. A similar ceremony is also performed in the case of a widow dead before remarrying, in this case, considering her "experience", a man is assumed to deflower her, this did not happen to grandma.

It is an absolute taboo to commit suicide in our community if a person commits suicide, they are believed to become a ghost and punish those who spoke at their funerals, if to commit suicide they used a tree, it will immediately be cut down and burned.

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Days later, in the afternoon, I am busy inside the house cleaning. I have decided to do a thorough cleaning in the house since I realized that being idle was not the best for me. I wanted to keep my mum's house as neat as I can. My grandma's death came as a shock and even though she was really old, I still wanted her to live some more.

She was the only person who would have told me so many things because the wise man insists that I am still too young to be told some things.

Before grandma was buried, a bull, one of the oldest and a young female cow were slaughtered and a portion of blood poured on the ground, the meat was shared amongst everyone and that was to symbolize sharing with the dead to calm her spirit.

Grandma never died bitter but what happened to her was a bitter experience which should never happen to anyone. Not even to the person I hate the most. My mind is lingering all over and I cannot stop thinking about what happened that day. Lena, Mabel, and I have not had any peace since we saw that. Yes, we saw it and we were not just told a story.

A ritual had to be performed to keep the spirit of grandma calm so that they do not come back to haunt us. It didn't stop me from being disturbed though.

The burial was quite sad, and I watched in awe as we all felt guilty that we didn't protect her all the time.

The man that did that wasn't killed even though the combatants caught up with him loitering around the river. That is because the elders said they didn't want to s\oil their hands and that they would let grandma's spirit with the help of the gods of our land deal with him.

He apologized before he left and said he was sent by someone to do that. I was so mad I still am at the person who did that. She was harmless and she never crossed paths with anyone that I know of.

There are things I hate, but I just feel super-awkward when those things concern mum. I mean you and I know that mum is the only person I have in my life. She has been here for me all along and she and I shouldn't be this mad at each other.

Well, now that I have no idea who the hell my dad is, I prefer to respect the person who has done an incredible job in bringing me up.

I also prefer to give uttermost respect to her, who assumes the role of both dad and mum in a nutshell. I love my mum. However, I am super curious about so many things that I swear she must tell me, or I will disappear without telling her a word.

That's the reason why I really want me and my mum to hold a talk. She doesn't seem like she wants to tell me anything though.

Mum is standing outside, looking at the furthest end of the hill. I tap her on her shoulder startling her. She turns and looks at me with a very angry expression.

''Mum, you cannot avoid me forever. We will have to hold this talk at some point. I have been looking for an opportunity for the past few days but all you do is keep sidestepping me each time I try.''

''Hey, you know how much I love you. I also want us to talk, but what exactly do you want to talk about?'' she asks casually but a bit curiously.

''Everything, mum. Starting from the river, to the handsome guy I have been seeing around the river to why I feel that you are hiding so much from me. I thought I knew you, mum. I just found out that I don't. can't you see, I am suffering.''

''Darling …''

''Don't darling me, mum! I want to know the truth! I want you to tell me who I am and tell me why the wise man and grandma said I could have been the target of what happened? Is there something that I need to know?''

''Something such as what?'' she asks looking around as if checking to be sure that no one is around. ''Again, have you been going back to the river despite my warning?''

I have, mum. I am curious and I need to know all those things I have asked you.''

''The only thing I know is that you are the best thing that God has ever given me, I only have you so, I value you more than I do myself. I love you and you know it.''

''I don't think so, mum! I want to know more. Why did you warn me not to go back to that river? It is the same river that I have always gone to. I know it hasn't been often but hey, you never said it was evil until that alien appeared.''

''Can you stop calling whoever that guy was an alien? You know what? I don't want to talk about anything because look when you were seeing that so-called alien, was I with you?''

''Mum! You are shouting at me? Are you not going to respond to me?'' I ask sadly. I am so angry at my mum and if only she knew that I am not able to be angry at her, she would have tried to understand me.

''I don't think I want to talk right now. I have no idea what you are trying to find out. Please don't make me think that you are thinking of going away with a stranger and leaving me here alone.''

''What do you mean? Please let me know when you want to talk! I don't want to say this but this is super rude and I don't want to take it from you.''

''The way you are inquiring about him, your curiosity, and the way you want to make everything look like it's all about you disgusts me.''

''Mum, isn't all this about me? Am I not the one who saw the alien? Am I not the one who was in the river before we found grandma being raped and heard a very sweet sound of a baby singing a melodious song?''

Well, if you thought mum has ever been restless, you are mistaken, this one has truly shaken her. I feel like I just hit a point I shouldn't have.

''You heard what?''

''You heard me, mum. I mean you only get curious but say nothing. I went to the river, I heard the sweet, deep little sound, and guess what!''

''What?''

''I followed it. Yes, I did but I couldn't find it. I kept going deeper until Mabel came for me. I didn't have any bad intentions. I wanted to find out what the river holds for us.''

''Can you please …''

''Stop going to the river? Over my dead body. If you aren't going to tell me what is in there, I assure you that I will find out. ALONE! I don't think I will keep following you around and especially since you don't really seem to want to be of help.''

''To what end?''

''To know why …'' I am about to speak about the healing powers in me, but I remember I shouldn't just talk. I was warned by the wise man about just speaking.

''Hey, what were you about to say?''

''Nothing, mum, and since you aren't willing to tell me what I wanna know, kindly enjoy your afternoon!

I got to go!''

''Where are you going?'' she asks worried but guess what? I don't respond because I take off and disappear towards the thin path.

I don't know what to do, where to go, and why she is behaving like that. I completely have no clue what to say but hey, my mum is tricking me and that's painful. Isn't it? I thought so. The first place that hits my head is my grandma's. I will go and sit there for some time. Maybe I will find solace around there.

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I am seated outside my grandma's house, closer to her grave and I cannot help but shed tears. She was the only one who reassured me when mum got furious with me at time. Very rarely though. I spent a lot of time with grandma and right now, all I want is to be sure that I have someone to take care of me.

I remember the last music played at her funeral. Everyone from the village danced their hearts out. I don't know why I'd be feeling sad when I should be rejoicing for her and celebrating her life.

I am all alone in her compound. I have this feeling that I have never had before. I am feeling strong and brave. I should be fearing that her spirit may be soaring around here but no, I feel very brave. A feeling I have never had before.

''Don't be sad.'' An unfamiliar sound says, and I baulk on the ground, but I don't turn to look at whoever just spoke. ''You are not alone. Someone is with you.''