Chapter 12

I spend five months with the Anderson before they enrolled me in school, trying to catch up on three years of schooling I'd missed. Alex waited to join school until I was ready, I think that was mostly for my benefit, so we could join together. I was grateful.

The school was a big building in the centre of town, and a twenty-five-minute walk from the house, and all that time I was a bag full of nerves remembering what happened last time I'd been in a place with a lot of other children. I was so nervous that I couldn't remember how I got from the school gates to the classroom. I must have been on autopilot, mindlessly following Alex wherever he went. When we reach our destination, I suddenly grab his elbow. "I don't think I can do this. What if something goes wrong? I want to go home."

"You can't go home, we're here now. Everything's going to be fine." He said comforting words, but that did stop my stomach from twisting painfully from the thought of stepping through that door. I couldn't stop him before his arm reached out and knocked three solid times on the door.

A few agonising seconds passed when all I could hear was the thumping of my heart in my ears. Then I hear the door open and a young women's voice "I was wondering when you two were going to get here. Ezra and Alex, I presume?" She was small, only a few inches taller than Alex but her voice was powerful and radiated authority.

"Yes Ma'am." I answered automatically.

She turned away to address the class, I couldn't see much from the doorway but from the sounds of it there must have been near thirty children in there. I hovered on the threshold until we were beaconed in and I was forced to move by Alex. "We have two new students joining the class today, boys, want to introduce yourselves?"

Alex stood brazenly at the front and proudly announced "My name is Alex Roe-Anderson, it's nice to meet you!" he beamed at the crowd of kids.

"Ezra Anderson" I managed to mumble, unable to look up from the floor, I could feel their eyes bore into me and I felt both ashamed and fearful to meet their eyes. I fight the urge to hide behind Alex.

"There's a spare seat next to Harry and Theo." I managed to look up and glance at the two empty chairs at opposite ends of the room, one near the middle back and another two rows from the front and turned to her with pleading eyes. Why did she have to separate us? But she either didn't see or didn't care because she continued "Now all of you get your questions out of the way before class. I won't have you interrupting it because another transfer student joined."

Then, as if an eruption of energy occurred, I'm immediately surrounded by people, before I could reach either of the seats.

"Where do you come from?"

"Where did you get that scar?"

"It looks kinda cool."

"Are you two brothers? You don't look a lot alike-"

I look over at Alex in desperation, but he has his own crowd of people blocking his path. I couldn't deal with this many people. What if I hurt one of them by accident? They'll hate me too. Too many faces. Too much noise. Too many questions. It was hot. Why was the no air in the room? Why couldn't I make my voice work? I couldn't understand what they were saying. Why can't I-

From the crowd of many faces, a hand gripped mine, I flinched and try and pull away, but the hand is strong and firm. It pulled apart from the sea of people, dragging me behind it, dodging people, desks and chairs. Then, suddenly its quiet. I'm outside the classroom, and I can breathe again. The hand let go, and I raised my eyes to a wild looking girl.

"Hello. My names Theo. I'm new too so I thought we could be friends."

Theo suited her, it reminded me of a Lions name, probably from a picture book I saw when I was at the orphanage. She had unruly golden hair forced back into a braid that passed her waist, and a constellation of freckles across her cheeks. Above them, bright, shining green eyes.

"You don't know anything about me." my voice works again.

"And you know nothing about me. Theo is short for Theodosia- horrible name I know."

"It's not that bad." I managed to say.

"Are you ready to go back in?" she asked.

"Not quite yet." I admit, I could still feel my heart trying to break free from my rib cage.

"That's okay. I used to have anxiety too."

Anxiety? Is that what this was? I didn't consider myself an anxious person. I did anything to survive in Garlantia, how could I do that if I was an anxious person?

"What did you do about it? How come you don't have it anymore?"

"I joined a martial arts club. I won state championship last year for under fifteens, so if anyone messes with you, I'll deal with them." She cracked her knuckles with a daring look on her face. I didn't understand how the two were related, but I didn't argue.

Then, we sat, crossed legged in the corridor and she told me about her life, while my pulse started to slow down to near normal speed. It was mostly normal- well, it was everything I didn't have; mum, dad, grandparents, family, friends, colleagues. To be honest, I was a little bit jealous.

But it was calming to hear her talk, but I kept dreading when the conversation would turn in my direction. How could I tell her that I didn't have parents, I didn't know what my real name was, that I killed people? That I did it twenty-seven times? But when she saw my hesitancy, she directed the conversation in a different direction. It was a brilliant skill really. I was thankful.

She was bright and fierce and talkative, so I didn't have to say much. But when Alex's head appeared in the doorway, it was a bit sad, "Hey you two, class is about to start."

"Oh, hi Ezra's brother."

"My names Alex."

"It's nice to meet you." She shook his hand. "I was just offering to be friends with you both as I'm new too and I don't know the school either. We can get lost together!"

Alex chuckled, "That sounds like a plan!" he agreed with a grin. We follow him back inside, just as a new teacher is entering. Thankfully, everyone is at their seats and facing forward, even if whispers we still exchanged between partners, everything was a lot quieter. Fortunately, I found that the seat next to me was occupied by Theo, which is probably how she managed to get close enough to get me away.

The lesson started, providing a comfortable rhythm that I could concentrate on.

And then I thought that everything might be okay. I could forget what happened in Garlantia, and live.