What's in a Name

As far as Gavin was concerned, the most surprising thing about St. Hibbard's Very Special Academy was that it wasn't very special at all. Dark, moody, and ominous, sure. But special? Not so much. Over the next few days, he attended classes with such bizarre and extraordinary names as "Algebra II / Trigonometry," "Honors Chem," "English 11" and "P.E." There was no "Using your Unique Power to Save the World" class, nor was there a "Why You Developed a Power in the First Place" class or even a "History of Useless Abilities" class.

In fact, if he hadn't known better, he'd have assumed there was nothing unusual about the school at all. At least, not from the classes.

The students were another matter.

As was to be expected, everybody at the school had a less-than-impressive ability. He had thought that most of them, like Gavin himself, would feel awkward about their situation and not want to make a big deal out of it.

He was wrong.

Students took great pride in their abilities, even when they served absolutely no purpose. They constantly demonstrated their abilities between classes, and well over half of the students had adopted superhero names to go with them. For example:

Janet Topski called herself Blinding Sight because she had a third eye in the back of her head. Unfortunately, she couldn't see out of it and it was usually covered by hair anyway.

Colin Suarez had the ability to manipulate pieces of string with his mind, as long as they were five inches long or shorter. He called himself The Threader.

Iced Dream was the name that Tisha Flores went by. She had the ability to identify any flavor of ice cream by scent.

Tag Bowers could bend his knees backwards. He called himself Knuckles, which didn't make any sense to Gavin, but he supposed Knee Cap Boy wasn't very inspiring.

He was surprised to learn that Jupiter was also a superhero name. The girl's real name was Lorelei Clark. She'd chosen the name Jupiter because she had the ability to swell up to double her size, but only in a gaseous form in which she couldn't really do much more than float in place. She became, for all intents and purposes, a gas giant.

The main thing that Gavin learned that first week was that he needed to come up with a superhero name fast or he'd be called Squishy Head for the rest of the year. He had tried out various ideas on Jupiter and a morose young boy named Jud Dagnal (who called himself Rage Monster because he had the ability to become incredibly strong for about five seconds, after which he normally passed out) who were becoming people he might even begin to call friends. Unfortunately, none of his offerings passed the smell test.

As for his new roommate, Stanford hadn't bothered to come up with a superhero name and for whatever reason, people just called him Stanford. Gavin was a bit surprised not to hear Trash Boy or Dumpster Dude bandied about, but there was something about Stanford that made others wary of teasing him. As his roommate, Gavin felt it tenfold. It wasn't just the constant filth following the boy around, there was a cloud of intimidation over his head that served as a warning for others to leave him alone.

And so leave him alone, for the most part, Gavin did. It wasn't overly difficult. It turned out that Stanford was fourteen, and so a Freshman and not in any of Gavin's classes. Meanwhile, he was always so buried in trash while in their room that Gavin rarely knew when he was home.

The school functioned like any other. Some of the kids were nice, some were jerks. Some of the teachers were cool, some were strange. Some of the bathrooms were clean, some (the one just outside the biology classroom, for example) weren't. Gavin's first week flew by and he began to get into a rhythm.

A week after his arrival, he sat in the cafeteria with Jud and Jupiter once again tossing out superhero names.

"Flex-i-Skull."

"Sounds like an exercise machine," commented Jud, his mouth half-full of a cheese sandwich.

"Gelati-nose."

Jupiter groaned. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

Gavin frowned, searching his mind for something, anything. "Mr. Face."

Jud and Jupiter shared a bemused look. "Now you're just getting desperate," said Jupiter.

"Well, I am!" Gavin set his bottle of Vibrant Vitamin Water down on the table a bit too hard, causing some of it to slosh over the top and spill onto the table. "I ran into that one kid who shoots beams of green light out of his eyes-"

"Emerald Laser," offered Jud.

"Right, that guy. I was walking down the hallway, minding my own business, when he turned the corner and ran right into me! I stepped back and instead of apologizing, he said 'watch where you're going Squishy Head.' All his friends laughed." Gavin looked away, his face turning a slight shade of pink at the memory.

"That'd be Mitchell Warner." Jupiter shook her head and took a bite of pizza before continuing. "He's a jerk."

"He's a jerk with a lot of friends who are all starting to call me Squishy Head," lamented Gavin.

"It's better than what I heard Caitlyn Bannerford call you in the cafeteria the other day," said Jud. "She called you Taffy Head. Which, come to think of it, is kind of clever."

"No thanks," said Gavin, wincing in mock pain. It all seemed so silly. If he had his way, he wouldn't bother with any sort of nickname. He was Gavin, not just some freak who whose head could be squashed flat like a sponge. He didn't understand why so many of the kids at the Academy boasted about their abilities. They obviously weren't very good abilities or they wouldn't be at St. Hibbard's, they'd be at Lord Thumbledown's School of Heroics preparing to save the world. The only thing kids here were preparing to do was to try to pass their classes.

He could understand why students over there had superhero names, they were superheroes. Or, at least, superheroes in training.

Here they were jokes.

"Hi, Guys!" It took a moment in the gloom to recognise Lincoln, the energetic little kid who could take his fingers off.

"Lincoln," said Jupiter, doing little more than acknowledging the boy's presence.

"Whatever you want, Lincoln, I'm not in the mood," said Jud.

"Wow. You're extra-grouchy today." He laughed. "But that's OK, I'm actually here for Squishy Head."

Gavin flinched at the name. "Please don't call me that."

Lincoln looked genuinely confused. "I thought that was your superhero name. Emerald Laser said-"

"It's not," Gavin interrupted. This was getting out of hand. He mentally put "picking a superhero name" at the top of his to-do list.

Lincoln shrugged. "OK. Anyway, I'm supposed to give you this." He held out a plain, white envelope.

Gavin gingerly took it, holding it up by the corner. "What is it?" he asked.

"A bomb. Kidding! Just a note from Processing. Enjoy!" He turned and skipped away, quickly vanishing into the darkness.

"Processing doesn't usually give out notes," said Jupiter, curious.

"Maybe you're being kicked out," suggested Jud.

"They can't kick him out, Jud. He has an ability."

Gavin wasn't so sure. Maybe he had such a lame ability, the school had decided he wasn't worth the time and effort to teach at St. Hibbard's. With a frown, he shoved the note in his pocket. He'd read it later, when he was alone.

The three ate in silence for a moment. Or, at least, Jupiter and Jud ate. Gavin toyed with the chicken nuggets on his plate, not really all that hungry. Stress over his name had robbed him of his appetite.

He picked up his water and was about to take a sip when Mrs. Gruber marched into the cafeteria, flanked by most of the other teachers. As if on cue, a single light bulb in front of the entrance flickered on, to ensure that everyone could see who they were.

Seeing them enter, every student but Gavin groaned.

"Pull it together, students!" said the frail-looking Mrs. Gruber with a defiant look in her eye. "It's time for Hide and Seek!"