Bewildered

Calling Mitch is like a strong temptation I need to endure, but my willpower won the rest of the day, though my desire to call him became stronger when night came. I imagined different scenarios for why Jessica answered the phone when I called him last night. To avoid unnecessary thoughts that made me overly analyze the event, I decided to cook dinner.

My dilemma started again when I saw the frozen steaks—will I cook for two or just for me? I decided to make a sandwich instead. I was preparing for a sandwich when someone hugged me from behind. I inhaled his scents; he kissed my neck and whispered.

"I miss you so much, pepper." I turned and touched his face; all my worries and doubts evaporated. He kissed me hungrily, and the kiss turned into heated passion. "In here?" I asked. "Yes, in here," he said in a raspy voice while he skimmed my skirt up and he unzipped his fly.

"Do you plan to just eat a sandwich for dinner, sweetheart?" he asked while he helped me with my wrinkled clothes. "Ummm, yeah," I replied. He went to the fridge and took the steak from it. I watched him cook the steak from the skillet to the oven; he motioned for me to stay put, and he arranged the table. We ate in silence, and he sometimes took my hand and kissed it. His gaze was full of adoration; he stole a few kisses while I was busy with food.

"I will return to the camp again tonight, pepper," he said while we were sipping wine. I nodded, the doorbell rang, he rose from his chair, and he opened the door. I cleaned the table, and I turned when I heard a woman's voice.

I headed toward the living room, where Jessica and Mitch were arguing in low voices. I cleared my throat, and when she looked at me, I noticed that she had cried, her eyes still damp from tears. "We need to go to the camp," he said and kissed my forehead. Jessica didn't say a word; she turned towards the door, and they used Mitch's car.

I stayed in the living room for an hour, still in deep thought. I felt the painful sting of jealousy; I felt like an outsider again. I went to the kitchen and baked a blueberry cake and made a fruit salad. I turned on the smart TV and browsed the Netflix movies. I chose the assassin movie, and I just stared at the screen with my scattered thoughts and wondered the event happened a few hours ago.

I realized a long time ago that I fell in love with my husband, and I thought my feelings were reciprocated, but I have doubts now. What if Mitch really married her because he needed to do it—his honorable character made him do it? I felt sudden sadness; I thought I was living in a fairy tale, and this is my happy ending. It's not about money, she knew it. Mitch's character was far from the characters in a drama where they marry a woman with money for personal gain. He's too honorable for that kind of scheme.

I woke up with the ringing of the doorbell, I slept in the sofa, I turned off the TV, and I went to the door. The furious Mrs. Langley showed up on our doorstep early in the morning. "We need to talk," she said in a serious tone. I opened the door and let her in. I offered her blueberry cake and juice.

She sat in the living room gracefully, saying, "You know that my daughter and Mitch were lovers for four years; we all anticipated that they would end up together. My family was shocked when we learned that Mitch was getting married to another girl. When I found out your background, I concluded that he did it because your brother is very influential. He might have threatened him to marry you; that's what the filthy rich family always does."

I looked at her coldly. "I think the most rational thing to do is tell it to my husband, madam." Though what she said to me was partly true, particularly the "threatened" thing, she had no right to judge me like she watched drama series and compared them to my life. She gave me something, and when I inspected it, my eyes went wide because it was a pregnancy test kit.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the two lines, and I looked at her. She leered at me: "My daughter is pregnant, and Mitch is the father; what will you do now? If my husband knows this, your husband's career will be in peril," she said. She snatched the thing from me and walked towards the door.

I stared at the door for a long moment. I can't explain my feelings. Jessica cried last night because of her predicament. I cried into the pillow; if I didn't come into Mitch' life, Jessica's situation will not be like this. I was always the third party; Simone's misery was caused by me when she thought I was Zach's lover. My parents were killed because they had a daughter like me. I always bring chaos to the people around me. I don't have a world of my own. When I shared their beautiful world, it started to fall. I was like an organism for decay.

I looked at our room; this house might have been their love nest before, and I contaminated it. I took my car key and drove to my unit. I cried hard; my tears were running down my face like water falls that never dried out during a drought.

I woke up late, maybe because I slept very late last night. I had missed calls from Kirk. I texted him that I would be late. I changed lazily into office attire and went to the hotel. Kirk reminded me of Lucy's birthday tomorrow at the hotel. I made myself busy to forget the pain I felt. I stayed late, I volunteered to bake the cake, and I made several for Simone and Sophia. Those women were like having a contest for baby-making.

I was tired, and when I checked the time, it was already past eleven. I also have ten missed calls from Mitch. I called him, and my heart constricted when Jessica answered. "Tell Mitch I called," I said, hanging up on her. I waited for his call; my eyes started to water. I waited for an hour, and when the phone signaled low battery, I didn't bother to charge it. I decided to stay in the penthouse of the hotel. Zach and Simone told me to use it if I work overtime, which I have done several times in the past.

My blank gaze lingered on the city lights. I was on the balcony eating tacos and avocado, which was very strange. I moaned at the delectable taste of tacos and avocado and smiled when I felt the slight emotional comfort. I became sleepy, and I was too tired to go to the bedroom; the oversized sofa is too comfortable.

I woke up with the aroma of coffee, which, to my surprise, made my nose wrinkle at the smell. I frowned when I saw Mitch at the kitchen counter: "Hello, pepper! I called you many times last night," he said, smiling. He gave me the coffee, but I shook my head. I took the water on the dining table and drank it.

He suddenly stood beside me. "Are you okay?" he asked as he touched my forehead. "I am okay; I am just tired," I said and sat on the chair. "I don't know why you didn't call me last night; I was worried about you. I went to your unit, but you were not there," he said with a worried face.

I looked at him coldly and said, "I called you, and when Jessica answered, I told her to tell you that I called." I rose from my seat and walked towards the guestroom; he followed me. "Sweetheart, I am sorry she didn't tell me," he said while combing his hair. I looked at him and said, "That was not the first time she answered your phone, and she didn't tell you. Are you that careless, or was phone sharing a requirement for security reasons?"

I slammed the door and locked it. I went to the bathroom and said it was time to shower. I chose a yellow and white floral dress with puffed sleeves. I braided my hair and applied makeup to hide my haggard face. I went outside and found Mitch arguing with someone; I never saw him raise his voice, and he was fuming mad. I went to the elevator and punched the ground floor. I texted him that I would eat at the restaurant. Well, mad was an understatement of how I feel right now.