My Dream of A Title

Note: This chapter will be from Ansel Vangray's perspective.

The very second I awoke in my room, a voice was quick to start scolding me.

"You are always doing dumb stuff like this! Challenging a former Royal Knight. What were you thinking?!" It was my elder sister, Quiterie Vangray.

I sat up, brushing my blankets aside so I could try and get up...but my left knee was in so much pain. It felt like it had been shattered. There was a cast on it, and on my arm too.

A hard smack came down on the back of my head, followed by my sister's nagging.

Slap!

"Explain your actions. What made you challenge our help from the capitol?"

"I have my reasons. But I don't need to tell them to you." I replied.

By the look on her face, she looked like she expected me to say that. Honestly, it didn't seem like she was really interested in my answer. Instead, she looked like she had already figured it out.

"You just want to prove yourself to dad. Maybe then, he'll treat you like a true mage."

Quiterie's guess was right, but I couldn't bring myself to just admit to it.

"Don't just assume stuff." I said.

Smack!

She had slapped me.

I watched her expression darkened as she avoided eye-contact.

She spoke, angirly.

"You're just so dumb. Grandpa's death was hard on all of us. Just because he was a Royal Knight, doesn't mean you need to be too."

Grandpa kept his title as Royal Knight, up until his passing. Hearing the stories he used to tell me, I always looked up to him. He fought for the kingdom his whole life. He used to tell me "When I fought for this kingdom, I did it, accepting the reality that I would most likely be one of the many killed in the battles. It was the price I was willing to pay for a better future. That is my true reason for picking up a blade. It wasn't because I wanted too, it was because it had to be done."

My grandpa was the true definition of a hero. He was someone I hoped to be like one day. Since then, I started practicing magic, and practicing my skills with a sword. Each day grandpa would walk by, I hoped he would notice my effort and tell me "As a Royal Knight, I know you are worthy of becoming one too, one day." Or something along those lines. I wanted to be someone my grandpa could approve of.

Instead, I always made dumb decisions, putting myself in trouble, time and time again. Whether it be against monster's, criminals or dangerous groups.

I did it all while trying to be someone that could be called a hero. But in every threat I encountered, I was the one who ended up being saved.

My grandpa looked at me, speaking his true opinion on me.

"Listen. Because I love you, it's best that I speak my mind. You wish to become a Royal Knight when you're older. Correct?"

"Yes. I will become one, some day. When I do, I want to protect the kingdom. Just like you did."

My grandpa looked at me and smiled, patting my head.

"With you way of thinking, It's best you forget about becoming a Royal Knight. I don't believe that's the right path for you. If you always act out on emotions, you will most likely end up, watching your allies getting killed. That's if you don't get yourself killed first."

"But, I can do it. I can." I said.

My grandpa shook his head.

"As a Royal Knight, I don't see you being able to fit the title of Royal Knight. Some things aren't' meant to be. There. That is my most trusted and honest opinion."'

I fell to my knees. Why? Why didn't he approve of me? I did my best to help people. I did what I had to. If I was the reason some people were saved, I was a hero too, right.

Hardly. I was the reason they were put in danger in the first place.And because of my decisions, it led to some deaths.

The day my grandpa passed, that was the day I knew, I would never get to receive his approval. Everyone says the same thing "It's not the right job for you."

My grandpa said it, my mom said it, all my siblings said it and even Louis, a Royal Knight said it.

I snapped out of all this thinking, focusing on the conversation with Quiterie.

What was I missing? How can I become someone worthy of becoming a Royal Knight?

I bit my lip, swallowing my pride. I needed to know, How do I get approval?

"What...What am I missing? What am I missing in order to become a Royal Knight?!!"

She waved her hand, back and forth, picking at many reasons.

"Everything. The patience. The right mindset. You even lack lots of self control. You also act purley on your emotions. Someone like you, isn't fit to be a Royal Knight. I never thought I would be having to tell you this, but I should. Give up on your dream. Find something safer. I don't need my little brother getting himself killed."

Still, I was used to hearing it, but I think I finally reached my limit. It hurt.

A turned the other way, biting my lip while a tear fell down my cheek.

"I...think I need some time alone now. It was good talking to you." I said.

Quiterie nodded and left the room.

Nobody's opinions on me change a bit. I'm still not worthy.

At this rate, I might as well stay an average person. I haven't bettered myself one bit.

I wanted to just finally let go of my dream but, It was tied to my deepest desire. I wasn't willing to give up on becoming a Royal Knight. I will accomplish it, at any cost.

I didn't know any other Royal Knight's, aside from my grandpa who passed. Who else could tell me how to become worthy?

Actually, there was somebody. Louis, the man I challenged and lost too.

I didn't want to, my pride was holding me back from asking him.

But if I really desire to reach my dreams, this will be the first step.

I finally bit my lip, enough for it to begin bleeding. I won't let pride hold me back this time.

_________

I knocked on Louis's room door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

There was no noise, only silence.

I knocked again, but with lots of effort.

Knock..Knock..Knock.

I heard a slothful but confused voice.

".Huh?…? Who..is it?"

"It's me." I mumbled.

"Me? Who's me?" Louis asked.

He opened the door and his expression went disappointed.

He had recognized me right away.

"Oh. It's you. Are you here to challenge me again?" Louis sighed.

I didn't answer him. Instead, I bowed, forgetting about my pride and I begged.

"I'm deeply sorry for my actions yesterday. I ask that you please forgive me. Please, I want to know what I'm lacking. How do I become worthy of the Royal Knight title."

That bastard of Royal Knight only put on a smug face, grining.

"Oh, this is how that feels. I always see it happen, but first time it actually happened. The popular and overused trope of defeating your enemy, then recruiting them as an ally. That's what this is."

"Get serious, jerk!" I shouted.

Louis only stopped for a second, before continuing on with his teasing.

"Get serious? That's your problem. You're too serious for no reason. I guess being serious can be justified, but you have no clue how to control your emotions. Which Is a major flaw. You really are a noob."

Again, someone mentioned my emotions. This is one problem I am barely coming to understand. I need to learn how to overcome my bad traits. Then, I can achieve my dreams.

"Please! I ask of you, teach me. Teach me how I can become a respected Royal Knight. That is not an order, it's a request."

Louis smiled, scratching his cheek.

"Well, if it's not an Order, I'll have to say no."

"What???"

"Yep. It's a no. See ya." He closed the door on me.

Shut.

Just like that. After I swallowed my pride, it turned out to be for no reason. I wanted to punch the door down, but as I raised my hand, I realized.

I was letting anger get the best of me. This is where I could make the start to controlling my emotions. All I needed to do was swallow the rest of my pride and continue begging. It was the best I could do right now.

"Please! I want…..I want to be a hero. One who can bring peace"