JAQUELINE ALEXANDER

Sometimes, I feel like the atmosphere in our huge house is just vague. It's lonely, filled with grief, and it's so bleak. I remember my mother had always filled this house with her pleasing smile and her joy. The darkness just goes away because she was our light. It had always made me feel safe. It felt like I had someone to protect me from all the awful things that were transpiring in this horrifying world.

But then she passed. An unfortunate death, I would say. Because she did not at all deserve that.

Being the only child of Mattias Frederick Alexander, the most cruel and greedy man in history, was never good news to me. Yes, my father may be rich and smart in his business, but it does not make him a very well-mannered gentleman.

"You should always look down on people who are miserable, Jaqueline. You are my daughter, my only heir. You should be useful to the company to earn my place once I'm gone."

He always repeats the same sentence whenever I disappoint him. I hate it.

Mattias always reminded me of how a failure I am. Even though I ran away, I still felt his words every day like bullets lurking through my insides.

*

I was nineteen when I ran away, and I admit, it was harder than I thought it would be. Running away somehow led me to New York City, and I knew to myself that that's where I want to settle.

It only took me two weeks to find a job here in New York City, until I found my passion, a job I liked very much; A dance instructor. Turns out I was a very talented dancer. Through that, I met dozens of people who wanted to take me out to dinner. I refused all the time. Not only did I, not date or have any relationship with any of my students, but I was also in fact not ready for romance in my life.

Like any other person, I have dreams, goals to accomplish, whereas I'd like to do by myself. However, I wasn't even close to either of those two. I live in fear, always looking over my shoulders as if my father and his acquaintances had already found me. I despised the lot of them, especially my so-called father. He deserves all of my loathe.

I have gotten used to living alone. I've adapted to my surroundings. I'm used to being approached by my little devils on the door when I'm finally home. After a long and tiring day, I get to rest with my kittens, watching our favorite shows on the television. They were my happiness, my rest, and my best friends.

*

The next sunny day, I took Bonnie and Clyde for a walk. The weather was nice; the atmosphere was merely different from Mattias's house. I could take a deep breath and inhale the smell of freedom. The feeling of relief, like there was never a problem I should worry about in my life, to begin with.

I liked this, my freedom. It wasn't normally the word I would use before to describe it, however; it was a word I would use now because of the traumatizing events that took place after the years my mother had passed. Those years were like being imprisoned in hell, but nobody is watching over you, yet you cannot escape, because you simply just do not try, or even care about it anymore. Because you're just exhausted from all of it.

But I knew better. I knew running away would solve my endless problems, away from Mattias, away from his empire. Although, I may be wrong. Even after running away from my father, I still brought him with me, and anywhere I would choose to go, I still would. After all, I am his daughter, his blood.

*

October 16, 2012

All the problems had stopped. Finally, you may think.

But what if there was another problem? A horrid and nasty one? Yes. The rise of the undead, or as many people call it; The apocalypse.

November 16, the antagonism of the announcement appeared on my tv, and I believed it. It is not good news for everyone. Just imagining yourself to be one of the undead was already traumatizing enough for me. Therefore, I hid.

I would not exactly call myself a coward for hiding in my cozy apartment. I would call it petrified or shocked. Hiding, it is not a weakness; it is survival. If you want to survive in a world where you become the prey, you have to learn how to hide like a pro. How to run because your life definitely depends on it.

I hid in my apartment for days I could not count, but during the apocalypse, it made me realize something; This apocalypse is not particularly against the undead. Some forget that there are also psychopaths who have been waiting for this moment that they call special, to arrive at their very doorstep, and that moment clearly has arrived.

*

I have lied many times when I was young. However, I have never felt this kind of guilt I feel when I lied to this strange woman that I find genuinely attractive. I should have told her the truth, but I already have this feeling she would not take the realism so simply.

Last Christmas year, after my dancing sessions, I met this guy who did not intentionally walk into our studio for dance lessons. Not only did I presume he wasn't here for the dance, yet I knew because of the khaki pants he wore and that black long-sleeve. Something was very striking about him, however, I would not say he was conventionally charming. He isn't my type.

I went to him and straight up told him we were closed.

"Can I take you out on a date?" He spoke after me.

I could tell he was nervous by his silly aspects, and the tension between us was rather quiet. I was the only one left in the studio. That is how I knew he had been watching me.

I knew my answer, but before saying it out loud, I looked at him up and down; from his white Converse shoes to his khaki pants and that big box he held wrapped with Christmas wrapping paper that was probably bought from the convenience store down the road, to his face, which was still waiting for the answer he hoped to get.

I sighed. "No. Thank you, though."

I grabbed my gym bag and stepped outside the studio. He followed me as I expected him to.

"Well, at least let me give you this then. I've been wanting to ask you out, but I-I hadn't had the courage to, so I wi-will j-just give this to you as if it's just a-a C-Christmas gift!" He gave me a reassuring smile. He reached out his hands and gave me the box and ran.

I'm left confused. What on the flip just happened?

I did not run after him or even tried to look for him that night. Instead, I closed the studio and went home.

I opened the box he had given me, hoping it wasn't anything a creep would give people, but as soon as I looked inside, I had become puzzled once again as to why he would give me a drone.

*

I never used the drone until November 19, 2012.

I found her. This strange woman.

I admit, I never told her the truth. I found her even before she was committing suicide. I have been watching her ever since November 19, and I do not regret a thing. Maybe one day I could tell her the real reason I hadn't come to her apartment the day I truly found her.

I'm just glad I could save her. I am glad I was not too late.