Chapter 19

*A few days later*

~Kamari~

My body burns, and soon I know why. As I wake up, I see a thick layer of blankets on me and a small fire near me.

My throat feels so dry I can barely talk. I start to wiggle out of them. My body feels stiff like I'd been lying here for a while. I crawl away from the suffocating blankets and the heat of the fire. 

It was too hot. I needed to get to the pool. When I realized I was in the underdwelling, a haze of confusion came over me.

I wasn't here before. I was in the city…

Then everything comes rushing back. "Oh, Good Goddess," My throat crackles. And the image of me in Nye's eyes made me nauseated. Had I loved my mother so much that it blinded me? And yet, I couldn't get myself to hate her. It wasn't until now that I realized no one was here.

"Koa?" My voice sounded awful. I crawl to the pool, but I don't dare go in. I'm so weak I probably would drown if I tried to swim. I cup my hands into the water and drink; it doesn't matter where it comes from. 

Just by drinking, I replenish some of my energy and fatigue. I sit up, and when I look down, I'm wearing an attempt at a two-piece outfit—a dress ripped in half—but actually, I didn't look that bad.

"Koa? Anyone? Hello!" My voice echoes off the cave walls. Where did they go? 

The slam of the door, followed by a familiar voice, makes my heart pound. First, I hear Nyes', "You don't throw an apple at someone who throws it to you to eat!" He shouts.

"It was disgusting." Koa hisses back. 

"My patience with you wears thin." Nye hisses. "These humans work a certain way, and if you want me to teach you, you need to listen."

As they bicker and turn the corner, I see that they're dressed differently—very put together, like Royals. And when they saw me, their eyes widened.

"Hi." I wave. 

And not a moment after they race towards me, Koa snatches me into his arms. Of course, he'd still be the leading man. "Grace of Kadea, you finally wake up."

I press my face into his chest, indulging in his smell. "I missed you…"

Koa parts and cups my face in between his hands. "Are you feeling well?" he asks. I nod, "I think so." I turn to Nye, whose eyes lock with mine. A warmth comes over me as he smiles at me. I swallow hard, looking back to Koa.

"Please," I figured he'd know what I wanted to do. Koa holds me close, then whispers, "For a second."

I give him a bitten-lipped smile and race over to Nye, toppling him over. I couldn't kiss him, but I could hug him until his lungs burned; he buried his head into my neck, "You better not do that again…" The softness in his voice verges on vulnerable, and it makes my eyes burn.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to him. 

"Go. Before I don't give you back." His voice is strained before he lets go. I nod and go back to Koa. I didn't think switching off now and then would be so hard. But it is. 

I notice Aneth isn't anywhere to be seen, "Where is Aneth?" I ask. Koa and Nye exchange a weary look. I glance between them," What happened? Is he sick again?"

"No." Koa sighs, "He left when you came back that day."

"What? Aneth left?" I hold myself, "How long have I been asleep?" 

"Four days." Nye sighs.

 Four days? Oh no, "Why did he leave?" I feared the response because somehow, I knew the answer. 

"Aneth has fought a Shade before, a real one. The poison almost killed him. It took him years to come back from it." Nye explains, "It's no excuse to leave." His voice was edgy.

"Aneth will come back," Koa's voice doesn't sway with doubt. But I can't help but feel a bit bitter. It's not like it's my fault, although I could do better with the flashes of anger.

"I hope so." 

Nye and Koa started telling me the things I had missed. Javall stayed, which was unpleasant to hear, and requested an audience with me when I woke. Nye has been teaching Koa the ways of the humans, and they've been showing themselves to the people, which has raised morale. 

Although the look on Nye's face tells me he's had enough for the day, my gaze lingers on Koa, who looks quite dashing in his new get-up. They both did. "How did you come by the outfits?" I cross my arms.

"A gift from the people. You have a seamstress in the city that makes admirable clothing." Koa runs his hands through his hair, and I notice the different rings on his fingers. I gesture, "Are those gifts as well?"

"Yes." Koa plays with my hair. I lean into his hand. Why did four days away from them feel so damn long? I didn't want to go upstairs yet. Not until Aneth came back. 

"Don't tell anyone I'm awake yet." I place my hand on Koa's chest, "I want a bit of peace before I go back up. Wrap my head around things."

Koa places his hand over mine, "I wish to keep you to myself anyway." His melodic voice still lures me. I hear a low rumble come from Koa's throat. When I glance over my shoulder, I see Nye leaving. 

I sigh, "You didn't have to do that-"

"Shh," Koa presses his finger to my lips. His eyes intensify with a bright glow, and his hands cradle my head as he walks me back into a wall. Feeling the warmth of his body against me makes my mind go blank, and my body takes control. 

Goddess, let me have control over my insatiable desires…

Koa gently presses his lips to mine, and I melt in his hands. I deepened the kiss, loving the way his soft tongue felt. My breathing quickens, and I wrap my arms around his neck. As I part from his lips, his voice ripples through me, "I've ached to taste you again," the smirk on his face makes my center quiver. 

"Would waiting kill you?" I tease.

"Yes, " He says in a husky voice, "It would drive me to the depths of madness."

I giggle as he picks me up against the wall, kissing me with such hunger.

A roar from outside makes me break away from him. I gasp, "Aneth." I slide down off Koa and race to the entrance. A golden dragon transforms in front of my eyes. Aneth shakes his hair and puts on his robe before walking toward the under-dwelling, but upon seeing me, he stalls. 

I see a slight hesitation in his eyes and a slight furrow on his brow. Yet, all I wanted to do was hug him. I bite my nails as he walks past me, his body tense. My stomach knots. There is no acknowledgment at all. "Aneth?" 

He didn't even turn around when I called his name. I turned to head inside and saw Koa stop Aneth. "Move," Aneth growled. Koa's eyes glow. "Take my place if you feel so bold."

Oh no. Please don't…

"Wait," I walk towards Aneth. "Do you not trust me?" I ask Aneth. But all I get is a side-ways glance. I swallow hard. "You must a little, or else why would you come back?"

Aneth looks at me, "No choice." He says with a thick voice.

"Kadea wouldn't give you something you couldn't handle," I say, locking eyes with him. I'm a mess, but I would never harm you." Aneth furrows his brows at me. "Harm?"

Aneth then looks to Nye and Koa and says, "Poison happens near her." Aneth grabs my hand and places it on his bare chest; after a moment, he lifts it, and what looks like a bruise appears on his skin. Nye and Koa lean in to see what he's talking about. 

"How odd," Nye says aloud. "Although, it makes sense…"

I retracted my hand, "What are you talking about?"

"The infection," Nye says. "Because Aneth's experienced it before, his body reacts to it."

I wonder, "Does that mean he can't be around me?" Aneth holds my gaze for a moment, then looks to the side. 

"I can't say," Nye says, running his hand through his hair. I turn from him, feeling the sting of guilt. Then, an idea comes to mind: "Some species are immune to poisons because of how many times they've been introduced to them."

I turn to Aneth, "You have to stop leaving."

"Bad idea." Aneth's face contours in weariness.

"Are you going to stay away from me forever?" I ask, stepping towards him. Aneth swallows hard. "I don't want you to." My heart suddenly feels heavy.

"Koa." I knew he wouldn't like this, "Aneth needs to be near me."

Silence.

I turn to Koa; he gives me an arched brow. "You need to do this for me."

"No." Koa shakes his head. 

"No?" I scoff, "Do you not see what's happening to Aneth?"

"I do." Koa's eyes pierce me. "But that's not your problem."

My blood boils. "It is." A familiar anger fuels me, and I slowly walk up to Koa with daring bravery. "Do I need to fight you to fix this myself?" This time, I feel it, the heat in my eyes. Koa's glow fiercely, his demeanor changes, his body tense, hovering over me. "I'd rather you not. I have no problem holding your pretty face underwater…" He locks eyes with me. 

I tilt my head, and I snap like a branch that's one tug away from cracking. I look down for one second, then throw a punch to Koa's jaw that makes him stumble back. My skin heats up, and power surges through my body, "Kamari!" Nye shouts, he puts himself between Koa and I, but my mind is bent on kicking Koa's ass.

Nye forcefully shoves me back, "Don't start something you can't win, and make me finish it." For some reason, Nye's voice does something to me. Suddenly, my body releases a surge of power, and I drop to my knees.

"Ugh," I groan. It was like a power struggle within myself. My human half and the Shade. My head pounds, "Goddess, help me." Then I look to Koa and pause for a bit, "Did you just threaten to drown me?"

 "I know when to bring you back up…" Koa's dark smile makes my heart hammer and my spine tingle. 

Nye crouches in front of me. "You may not be well for a while, Kamari. If you think you're not ready to be in your people's presence, you should see yourself, darling." 

"I don't want to. I believe you…" I run my fingers through my hair. Then I glance at Aneth. "I can't just sit by while this happens. He'll never be able to be by my side." Nye glances up at Koa; Nye smirks at him as if they could read each other, "Now, who's stubborn?" Nye snarks before standing straight.

A slight knock at the door makes me high-tail it for the bathing area. Whoever it may be, I didn't want more on my plate than it is now. But I keep my ears open.

"Nye, Koa," Calea greets, "You're looking well."

"Is there something you want, witch?" Koa's voice had irritation written all over it. Hearing Calea's voice was hard for me. She knew what my mother was up to and didn't try to stop it.

Calea clears her throat, "Is she awake yet?"

A pause. My gut tightens. 

"N-" Nye starts, but Koa interrupts.

"Yes."

I gasp as I hear Koa tell her the truth. 

"Oh," Calea sighs in relief, "Good. Can I see her?" 

"Be my guest, " Koa says in a silvery tone. Punching him in the jaw must have got me on his bad side…

As I hear Calea's footsteps, I prepare to see her. When she rounds the corner and sets eyes on me, I feel a lump in my throat. The whites of Calea's eyes look red, and her nose flushed. She pinches her lips thin, "I guess I have some explaining to do."

I sigh heavily, crossing my arms over my chest. "Why didn't you stop her?" My voice teters on cracking and anger. 

Calea shakes her head and glances down. "I tried. She started before I even knew what she was doing. I wanted it to be your choice, but she had already decided and wasn't changing her mind. I'm sorry."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "I trusted you." My eyes water, "Out of everyone here, I expected you to be the most honest with me. Now I've learned my mother is a Shade Daughter, my father royally screwed me, and now, you lied to me. It's a hard pill to swallow."

Calea's eyes glisten, "I understand. If I could do it over, I would-"

"What is Javall still doing here? You should have told him to leave." I change the subject. Not wanting to get any further into it. 

"He has unresolved matters he'd like to discuss with you." Calea swallows hard, "And since we're starting a new leaf, I must tell you that I saw you the night you killed your father and Cassian."

I glare at her, "You what?" My fists clench. I march up to her, forcefully shove her, "And you didn't stop me!" The rush in my blood is back. 

"I was scared of you!" Calea snaps and shoves me back, and a thickness grows between us, "You were so young, and yet you felt nothing doing such a thing. Y-you were there the next morning eating breakfast as if you had no blood on your hands!"

I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. And stumble back as she continues, "Your mother, she changed you, inevitably. And not for the better." Calea covered her mouth as if she couldn't believe she said those words to me.

I swallow hard, feeling a numbness come over me. I hug myself, "I have nothing to say to him. He may leave."

"He knows, he could tell his Kingdom."

As Calea talks, I slip into my thoughts, and I say something horrid, "Javall can't speak if he's dead." I feel my eyes glow. 

"Death is not a solution, Kamari; it's something you crave!" She screams. "Shade Drakes are known to be the most vile of creatures, and even an ounce of their blood could corrupt the best of anyone."

I stare at her, "Is that how you see me now? Corrupt."

Calea's breath comes quickly, "I don't want to. Truly, I don't, but you are making that very hard."

"I can't take the blood out of me. My body is meant to have it. Or else I would have died from the first drop on my lips." I shrug, not knowing how I should feel. The harsh words, the anger, and the spells of desire that came over me were all fluctuating. 

"Did my mother act like this?" I bite my lip.

"With her, it was mild. I'm surprised she didn't have more children…" Calea says, and I furrow my brow as if that was an insult.

"Why would you say that?" Calea must have seen the furrow on my brow and clarified, "I only meant she had an appetite for intimacy." She paused.

When I say nothing more, Calea steps closer to me. "Are you experiencing this as well?" she whispers. 

I shrug. "On and off."

Calea leers at me. "Have you laid with them?

"No." My lips pressed together. It wasn't a complete lie. It was just a test dive…

Calea looks me up and down, "I don't believe you. You couldn't just look at three men with godly enchantment like that and do nothing." 

My lips part, "Calea, I have not slept with any of them-"

"But you've done something-"

My hands raise, and I slap my sides, "Why does it matter!?"

Calea swallows, then shrugs, "I noticed things with your mother. Whenever they tried for a child, she acted more like herself. I can't say why; I just thought I'd mention it."

I double-blink at her. It unsettled me that Calea mentioned it as if it was a cure…

"Wait, how many times did they "try" before they had me?"

Calea swallows hard before answering me, " A couple of years…"

My jaw drops, "Years?"

Calea folds her hands in her lap, "Yes. Your mother confided in me. Miscarriages were plenty with her, and we finally concluded that the Shade blood she carried kept destroying life before it could begin."

I stare at her, "And you never mentioned this to me because?"

"It never accrued to me that you'd marry or be chosen…"

Okay, I've heard enough. "I think I'm worn out on this conversation." 

Calea presses her lips together. "If it's not too much to ask when you're ready. Please speak with him. Javall is a witch and very good at what he does. He could try and help-"

 I scoff, "Why on Kadea's earth would he want to help the woman who killed his brother?"

A pause before she answers, "So it won't happen again."