40 Complicated Feelings Part Two

Feng Xi was at a loss of what to say next. But she noticed Prince Jin did not move nor throw her away. Feng Xi's thoughts were still a mess. Some wanted her to just run away and hide. While others wanted to hold on dearly to Prince Jin. Even with her emotions full of contradictions, Feng Xi still opened her mouth. "Jin'er… I am not sure if you are mad at me. I am not sure what I even think in my heart. But I do know that when you walked away without a word just now, I felt like my heart was going to stop. I am not sure if this is love or what it is. But I do know that I can't let you leave like this. Not without even saying a word of goodbye."

A faint smile appeared on Prince Jin's face. He turned his body around, breaking Feng Xi's embrace. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. He then slid his hands down and cupped them under her thigh and pulled her up off the ground causing Feng Xi to need to wrap her legs around him and hug his neck in order to not fall. Their faces were now at the same height. Nose to nose, he leaned in and kissed her lightly on her lips.

"Xi'er, this Prince has already decided that you would be his woman and no other woman will be able to take your place. That is why I asked Father Emperor to settle our engagement quickly. There was no way I would allow you to run away. The last thing you have to worry about is me walking away from you. Because that is one that will never happen. I only thought you needed time to yourself to sort your feelings out. I did not want to put pressure on you. I made a silent vow with that kiss we had earlier, if you need me to make it again I do not mind." Prince Jin said softly.

Feng Xi gazed into Prince Jin's eyes trying to see if there was a hint of him lying to her. But all she saw was his warm loving gaze when he looked at her. Still confused and not sure of what to say or do, the only thing that came to mind was to try to make sure of what she was feeling. "Then kiss me!"

Without a single word, Prince Jin leaned in and kissed Feng Xi. Their tongues once again intertwined. This kiss was Feng Xi trying to figure out what she truly wanted. She wanted to know from this kiss if he was truly being true to her. Some might think that what Feng Xi was doing was just wishful thinking if she thought she could figure things out through a kiss. That a kiss was just a kiss. But for Feng Xi, it was the only way to understand not only his feelings but her own.

This kiss was a lot longer than the one before. It was as if they never wanted to part from one another. The moonlight shined down illuminating the two figures. When they finally parted their lips, Feng Xi pressed her forehead against Prince Jin's as she held his cheeks in her hands. Her eyes shined with a determination she never had before. She finally came to a decision. She decided she would not let her past life hold her back. If she truly had feelings for Prince Jin, then there was no reason to restrain them! "Jin'er I do not know if I can love someone. But I now know that I am truly willing to give it a try. Whether I will be able to or not I do not know. But I promise I will at least try. But I have to let you know, I have a lot of things I wish to do in the future and also have a lot of people I will need to take down. This does not include the enemies I make along the way. "

"Your goals are my goals. If you need me to give a helping hand just ask. I know you are a person who likes to do things on their own. But I will always walk by your side, so when I am needed you only need to stretch out your hand. As for your love… I have already said I will make you fall in love with me. It seems I am halfway there." Prince Jin spoke softly while gazing into her eyes. His gaze showed no hesitation in his words. He was trying to allow Feng Xi to know that he meant every word.

Feng Xi finally put on a smile and lightly kissed Prince Jin's lips. "Then from this moment on. I, Feng Xi will be yours and on the day of our marriage will give you my everything."

"Xi'er you forget, from the very beginning you were already mine!" Prince Jin let out a laugh. He was truly happy at this time.

Feng Xi let out a laugh as well and slid her body out of Prince Jin's embrace. She had decided. She had decided that she would attempt to put her trust in someone. She would allow herself to slowly fall in love with Prince Jin. She gave Prince Jin one last hug before saying good night. She felt her heart had the heavy weight lifted off of it. In high sprites, Feng Xi walked back into her courtyard.

Feng Xi went to her bedroom and laid down on her bed. She looked up at the ceiling in a daze. She couldn't help but laugh at herself. Her resolve to never love again was shattered so easily. Prince Jin in such a short amount of time had broken down all her walls making her want to love again. Making her want to be with him.

Letting out a sigh Feng Xi whispered to herself a small reminder. "Feng Xi. You may make this decision now. But stay vigilant. Back out at the first signs of something being off. He may say these words now but tomorrow, a month from now, or even years from now he could say something else while your head is being placed on the chopping block." With this small reminder, Feng Xi closed her eyes and fell asleep.

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General's Manor…

In a dark room made of stone deep under the General's Manor. There was a woman chained up against a wall. The room was damp and the stench coming from within was enough to make one's stomach turn. In this room chained up against a wall was a woman in her thirties stripped of all her clothes. Her hair was unkempt and below her was a pool of yellowish water and a pile of brown lumps.

"Shun'er why are you doing this!? What have I done wrong!?" The woman cried out. Tears flowed from her eyes and snot dripped from her nose. This woman was none other than Feng Lan's mother, Jiang Yi!