I’m not emotionally unavailable (Asta)

I catch her in my arms as she falls. Her body is limp in my arms. Panic starts to seep into my bones. Was this too much for her too soon? Did I let her push herself too far?

"Is she okay?" I ask Kenta my voice filled with panic. A deep foreign part of myself tells me she is, but I want to hear it from the Kitsune. His tail swishes as he looks at me.

"She just passed out is all. She will be fine no need for such concern Asta. She's new to this realm and she just found out she potentially has the entire future of the realm resting on her shoulders. Honestly I'd probably need a massive nap too. You know who my mother is and I have no desire to have the responsibility she has. I can't imagine how the young queen must feel. She's got passion I'll give her that. I think she'll do good for this realm. It will take time, but if she is the queen like I believe her to be. I think the light inside her will guide us all into a new age for this realm. One of peace again. Where she'll never let us forget just how important this realm and every being in it is."

I chuckle as I look down at her looking so peaceful on my arms. All sense of panic is gone and I know deep within myself that she's going to be okay. Her long wavy blonde hair flows around her shoulders and falls into her face. The pink tips of it are beginning to fade and I wonder if she'd like to get it redone.

I should ask her sometime I'm sure there's some magical way to dye her hair. We might even have normal hair dye somewhere in the realm. Or I could always make a trip to the human world and snag her some if needed.

I'd do anything for my vixen if she asked me too. My sweet little fox. I brush some of the hair that's fallen into her face behind her ear.

"You're right she wouldn't. She's so fierce especially when it comes to the mistreatment of this realm and it's inhabitants. I wouldn't be surprised if she makes the realm build a monument or something to forever remember how they acted like the humans this realm was made to escape from. I can almost feel the deep rage that seeps from her when she sees or hears how some of the royal mage families act." I smile softly as I stare down at this gorgeous woman I get the blessing of holding in my arms so often. "Some part of me deep within myself that feels foreign and familiar all at once is so deeply connected to her. I think it has been since the day we tumbled through the portal together. Can you explain that to me by chance?"

It's insane for me to still think she's somehow my mate when that's not possible for mages. I can't ignore this feeling that calls me to her. This bright fire in me that only feels at peace when she's in my arms or by my side. The part of me that speaks to me even now telling me she's okay.

The Kitsune I've known for so many years shakes his head at me his swirling golden eyes boring into my soul as the eyes of all Kitsune do.

"That's an easy thing to explain. I don't need to see into your soul to do that. I've smelled it since the two of you walked through the door. I smelled it on her the moment I saw her. I thought it was weird to smell the scent of a mate bond on a mage, but it makes sense now. She's not a normal mage.

She was born of a mated pair. That's another big reason the council agreed to let her father leave it. Not even the Kitsune council would dare interfere with a mated pair. It's not a known fact the queen was mated to a Kitsune. She was a mage herself supposed to be married to an elven Royal to strengthen the bond between the mages and the elves. The magic of a mate bond is unlike any other in this realm. It was born from the same magic that created this realm, but it's become its own magic over time. The Kitsune blood in her it allowed that magic to take root in her. You are able to feel that magic as a mage like her mother was because you've been chosen by the magic to be the fated mate of our young little Kitsune here. She got lucky to fall into this realm straight into the arms of her mate." Kenta sounds jealous and almost sad as he says the last part.

He has been alive a lot longer than me. I'm sure it's not fair to see a mated pair find each other so easily. It's not my fault the magic choose me for her. My heart feels happier than I've felt in awhile. I knew I wasn't insane when I thought I felt the very things Zeno described a mate bond to be.

"I'm sorry you haven't found your mate Kenta truly I am. If I knew how the magic worked I'd ask it to drop them at your doorstep." His ears flick as he swishes his tail and slight smile on his lips.

"Thank you Asta i appreciate that thought. While I am a little jealous I'm happy for you two."

"Thank you. I'm happy to know I wasn't insane in thinking I felt such things."

He chuckles. "Not insane my friend just very lucky."

I smile and glance at my watch. As much as I dread bringing a passed out Luna back to the mansion I probably should be heading that way soon.

"I'm sure I'll see you again soon my friend. I should be getting the young queen back home for now."

"Of course. I'll see you both again soon. I wish you safe travels home."

I carry Luna out of Kentas cabin and with a bit of struggle I'm about to mount Storm with Luna. I have her limp legs wrapped around my body so I can hold onto Storm with one hand and keep her in place with the other.

The sun is sinking behind the tall dark oaks that surround the mansion when I land.

I was hoping to carry Luna through the mansion to her room undetected, but as I found the corner of the hallway leading to our rooms Zephyr stands waiting for me.

His cold gray eyes glare icy daggers my way as he sees Luna laying limp in my arms. I've grown so used to his cold stare I never even thought to wonder when it changed to this cold gaze.

He used to be warmer when we first met. He was guarded sure but he used to look so much softer and kinder. I wonder if the change happened after Celene? Was I so wrapped up in my own heartbreak I never noticed what it did to him?

"What did you do to her?" He growls at me his tone as icy as always these days.

His accusation that I did something to her makes my blood boil with anger as my magic follows close behind crackling in the air.

"I didn't do a damn thing. How dare you I'm not you I know how to take care of people I care about." It's a low blow and I know I shouldn't be hitting him with that in the way I do so often these days.

We used to be so close . We once told each other everything and used to have so many late nights just talking about our pasts and our dreams. He's been my brother for so long now. Yet these days he seems a million miles away from me. How am I just noticing these things? Have we both really been so broken over

Celene still we never noticed what it did to our relationship? Now we've gone and dragged my little fox into it all as well.

"Maybe I'd be able to protect her if she wasn't always with you." Zephyr spits back at me.

"I'm not emotionally unavailable like you. She's a smart girl you'd be surprised how much she sees. You might soften yourself up just enough for her, but she still sees the coldness lingering in the back."

She watches everything. I don't think he fully understands how much she studies people and learns everything about what every movement means. Whatever happened in her life in the human world was not pleasant. I know all too well a person only learns to watch people and learn them as well as she does when they are trying to avoid the next round of blows or torture.

"I'm not emotionally unavailable. I'm cautious there's a difference." His voice is strained and I know that affected him more than he wants to admit.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night. As for Luna she got overwhelmed in town had a panic attack and passed out. That's not really something I can prevent I can try to help and I did, but she wasn't coming back from it this time not soon enough to keep her her body from saying it was nap time. Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to get her in her bed."

He glares those icy daggers my way but moves out of my way.

I glare back at him as I walk past him. "Whether I like it or not she does care for you. So try not to mess that up."

I know we're acting like teenagers, but damn it this man gets under my skin these day. I don't know when he changed so much. I don't know when he decided to shut me out. If he wants to push everyone who cares about him away fine let him rot alone until he man's up and admits he's been a little bitch.

We're both stubborn as hell and I certainly didn't start this pissing match so I have no intentions to end it. I miss who he used to be and the relationship we had deeply. I know I can't force him to go back to that person no matter how much I want to it would only push him away farther.

I push open the door to Lunas room. I carry her inside and gently get her settled into bed. I tuck her into the covers. She's so light and she looks so fragile her limp body wrapped in the golden duvet. She still looks like an absolute goddess.

My beautiful fox goddess. A soft smile now rest on her sleeping face. I wonder what she's dreaming about? I run my hands though her long wavy blonde hair. It's so soft and silky. Her scent of lavender and strawberries fills my nose. In that instance I don't want to leave I want to be by her side all night. I settle myself on the bed next to her.

I wrap my arms around and burry my face into her hair breathing in her beautiful scent. I listen to the soft sounds of her breathing as I slowly drift off to sleep.