Chapter 17: Feelings.

Monday.

Day 4.

George.

"Wow. You just keep running into people down here today."

I thought about how annoying it was that I continuously kept running into people here, then as I stand there watching Cam, I easily snap out of it, realizing it could have been worse. Knowing it was safe to approach now, I walk into the kitchen. I ignore his sly remark and ask;

"What are you doing reading down here? This is the kitchen, in case you forgot that, which it looks like you have?" He must have forgot what he was doing because he swiftly hides the book behind him then averted;

"Pfft. Reading? Who's reading?" I trudge toward him and snatch the book away and read the cover. 

"Oh. It's a cook book. You're teaching yourself to cook?" The page he was on had a number of 'B' names in alphabetical order. I see 'banana bread' was underlined, and giggle to myself. He scoffs at me and takes the book back.

"I already know how to cook just fine, thank you very much. I just-I don't know, enjoy making new things." I study his face and see he's obviously embarrassed.

"Why would you think this is something to hide? There's nothing wrong with knowing how to cook." He sighs and crosses his arms. 

"It just isn't a manly thing to know how to do." 

"Well, I know how to cook too." Then a smile creeps into Cams face.

"If you say so." I glare at him, knowing very well I was perfectly adequate at it, then he continues;

"Besides, you're not the manliest-man anyway." I act pained, even though he wasn't wrong. It was the truth, I was a twig.

"Okay, that hurts. How about Gordon Ramsey? That's as manly as you can get, I'm pretty sure."

"Are you telling me to be more aggressive towards you?" Cam gets up and swipes a frying pan from the rack holding many pans and other assortments of kitchen gear. Then he abruptly yells in a failed accent;

"You idiot sandwich!" He playfully swings the pan, purposefully missing me. Attempting to stay serious, I urge;

"I'm trying to say you don't need to hide it Cam. I like this version of you." He stops acting playful and loses his smile. Maybe I went too far saying it, but it was the truth. The other Cam wouldn't be afraid of showing his true self to me, or anyone. We stand there watching one another until I break the silence, changing the subject;

"Um. Do you know where the popcorn is?"

"In the top cabinet. They weirdly didn't have any, so I just went and bought some." He points to it and I walk over and grab a bag, remembering the real reason I was down here. I put it in the microwave and put the timer on two minutes.

Trying to avoid Cam, I step around him and go for the fridge. After almost a minute of searching, I finally decide to just make a simple sandwich. I finish making it then glance at Cam and see he waswss no longer looking at his book, but now his phone. Him being able to cook was clearly a weird case of Cams obvious fragile masculinity, and I had only made it worse.

There was now popping sounds coming from the microwave, making the silence even more awkward.

"What kind of people don't have popcorn in their house?" I say trying to spark up a conversation. He grins and says;

"That's precisely what I was wondering. They didn't even have milk!" He then pauses to think and adds;

"Although, now that I said it outloud, I might have been the reason for that." He rubs the back of his neck, smirking guiltily. I was glad the awkwardness had went away now.

Startling us both, the microwave goes off, signaling that the popcorn was done. I shove the last of my sandwich in my mouth and walk over the get it. I reach in to grab the bag and open it way too rough, because as soon as I do, it explodes everywhere, causing most of the popcorn to fly into the air and hot butter grease to land on my hand.

"Shit!" I yell, shaking my hand and letting go of the bag. It falls to the floor but I don't care. I was rubbing my hand when I feel Cam come up beside me with a wet rag. He carefully places it on my burn, gently dabbing it. It only hurt for another few seconds, but having Cam here touching me felt nice, so I said nothing to stop it.

He then looks me in the eyes, looking concerned more than I did and asks;

"Is it better now?" I can't form words so I just nod. We were so close I could smell his alluring cologne. I couldn't help but remember then what it felt like to kiss him. Would it feel the same here as it did in the school? I shake the image from my brain and look down at his hand on top of mine. Cam uncovers the rag to see my hand revealing nothing more than a medium sized red mark.

"I really am fine." I finally admit to him. He looks down into my eyes then rapidly tears away from my hand, as if just realizing how close he really was to me. He was just seconds ago caring about me so much, now he was back to the reserved Cam. Any time he gets too close and we have a moment, he always ended up pulling away. Like he's too scared to admit it to himself that there's a connection.

At least there was one for me.

"Looks like you need another bag of popcorn." A voice comes from the entryway making both Cam and I jump. I turn to see Brooks, leaning up against the wall, staring at us. He looked slightly amused and I can't help but think he just saw the moment between me and Cam happen. He begins to walk forward then he stops and grabs a broom nearby. He tosses it to Cam and barks;

"Better get to cleanin'." I go to explain it was my fault but Cam taps my shoulder and reassures;

"You just make more popcorn. I'll do this." I hesitate but do as he says. I go to grab a new bag when I notice Brooks had already grabbed one for me.

"Oh. Thanks man." Everything about Brooks was screaming cool, nice guy that everyone got along with, but I couldn't help but not like him even a little. He was trying to get with Issa. She wasn't mine to have, but I knew for a fact Issa didn't want him back, despite what I saw happening in the kitchen earlier.

I ignore my thoughts, trying not to become angry and put the popcorn in the microwave a second time. Brooks then turns to me and prys;

"Anyone seen Issa lately?" He says this to both of us, but it was clearly directed towards me specifically. How did he know she was with me? This guy was ten times bigger than me from his muscles, I was not ready to get into a fight over a girl with him. I feel my hands go sweaty, as I start to become anxious now, but quickly pat them on my shirt, attempting to dry them off.

Cam stops sweeping then finally states, clearing the silence between us all;

"I thought she was still here." I nod, agreeing with Cam, acting clueless. Brooks smirks and adds;

"So, she isn't in your room, George?" My mind goes blank. I can't think of any excuse, I just stand there, watching my popcorn pop. I slowly turn and look at the two of them watching me. Brooks still just looks amused, thankfully. I look over to Cam who looks like someone had just stomped on his sandcastle he had built at the beach. Absolutely devastated. What's that about?

"She's in your room with-you?" Cam asks this not-so-subtly unjoyful sounding. Brooks cocks his head to the left, noticing Cam's uneasiness then announces;

"Yeah she is. Leah let me know. When you're done with her, send her on over, will ya?" He grabs an apple off the counter and takes a bite out of it like he hadn't just said the douchiest sentence in the world. As if this guy couldn't have said anything worse to make me hate him more.

I don't feel it much, but I know my face had gone red from how infuriated I was becoming. I even see Cam whip his head over to Brooks now, also looking unamused, more like raged, rather than upset. Neither of us get a chance to tell him off, because in a second he was out of the kitchen. I walk after him and peer around the corner, just missing him walking down the hall to his room.

"What the hell?" I hear Cam say angrily. Just then the microwave goes off again. This time I just leave it to cool, as I don't want another mistake to happen. I return my gaze to Cam and see he looks more upset than angry again.

"The nerve of that guy. If we weren't living here-" 

"She's up in your room?" He asks simply, interrupting me smoothly. His question catches me off guard so much I feel as if I didn't hear him right, so I ask;

"She's-what?"

"Issa. Why are you up there with her?" Unsure why he was even asking this I say;

"We're watching a movie. I'm just hiding her from Brooks tonight." As I explain, he starts looking relieved at my words. Why was he caring so much about this? Was he jealous? He stretches, acting like everything was perfectly normal.

"I was just wondering." I notice Cam had finished sweeping up the mess so I quickly add;

"Thanks for cleaning that for me." He shrugs and says;

"I think I'm gonna head on up to my room. I'll see ya tomorrow." As he walks past me, I smell his cologne again. I missed Cams smell, as hypnotic as it was. His scentscenr fades and I can finally think again.

Why had Cam acted so defensively when he found out Issa was alone with me in my room? Did our moment earlier actually have an impact on him? Whatever the reason, it was making my head hurt again for the hundredth time today and I didn't ponder on it too long.

I quickly remember Issa and I were supposed to be watching a movie so I hurriedly grab the popcorn and put it in a bowl successfully this time, along with the rest of the first bag. I then decide to bring along a few water bottles too, in extreme need of electrolytes.

I realize I'm stalling because of how nervous I was for being in bed with her, but briskly snap myself out of it with a deep breath and head on up to join her in bed.

Here goes nothing.

Issa.

It's almost been a little too long since George had gone downstairs, so I was starting to get worried. I mean, how long does a bag of popcorn take? I needed to remind myself that I was just on edge from me and Georges exchange earlier. I wasn't being careful at all when being inside his room this second time around.

Seeing his closet reminded me of the night when I was forced to hide inside it, after almost being caught by that guard. The thought of George in his boxers again and me with just a blanket around me was amusing, so I couldn't help from laughing to myself.

The only issue is I totally forgot George had no memory of that day, as far as I knew. We were having such a good time, it felt like dream George was here with me. And being how bad I was at lying, I almost blabbed my mouth and told him why I was laughing. If he thought I was just a crazy lunatic, the good night we were having would have been all for nothing. Thankfully he didn't ask questions, we just went along with our time together.

Now I'm here waiting nervously for him to return. I had been texting Lectra, still feeling horrible for lying to her. I should just tell her what was going on with me and Brooks. Was it really that big of deal though? It was only a kiss. Well, a little more, but it never went any further. I also never had any intention of continuing it again either, so maybe I was in the clear with not telling her?

Ugh, I had no idea.

Completely interrupting my thoughts, the door swings open and in comes George, looking abnormally distraught. He strolls inside holding a bowl full of popcorn in one hand and a couple water bottles in the other. George sees me, smiles, then holds up the food and water and announces eagerly;

"Are you ready for 'Love, Rosie'?" He shakes the bowl and a piece of popcorn comes flying out.

"Uh, whoops."

"What took you so long?" I ask, now laughing at him.

"Well. Believe it or not, I'm really bad at opening things." I think back to when he couldn't even open the bottle of aspirin for my headache, and begin laughing more.

"I could believe it, actually." He nods in agreement then continues;

"The bag kinda exploded all over me as I was opening it. Gave me this nasty scar too." He walks up to me and shows me his hand. All that was on it was no more than a subtle red splotch. Feeling embarrassed for him, I say all too sarcastically;

"I never wanna see you get into a fight. You'd definitely die."

"Oh I know I'd die. No doubt." At least he was aware. We laugh with each othereachother then he crawls into bed with me, quickly reminding me of what we had planned. He hands me my popcorn and a water and says;

"Now don't try any moves on me. Especially that hand in the popcorn trick where you accidentally touch my hand and we have a moment." I laugh it off like I hadn't already thought about it.

"Aw, way to throw off my plan." I nudge him lightly then add;

"Just play the movie already!" He doesn't wait even a moment. George excitedly reaches for the TV remote and plays the movie. The opening scene starts and George and I dig into the popcorn. I notice he is eating it a little too fast, so I assumed he was just still hungry and let him eat the rest.

I was much too nervous to eat anyway. 

•••

About half an hour goes by and the both of us have had enough popcorn. I then soon started to become a bit tired. First it was me who gave in to the yawn first. Then as if setting it off, George yawns too.

"Getting tired?" He asks this still mid yawn. I just nod with blurry vision from wanting to yawn again.

"You should lay down." I knew this was going to have to come eventually tonight, but I was hoping it to not be this soon. He takes the popcorn bowl from my lap and places it on the floor. Trying not to over think it, I go and lay down on his pillow, facing the TV.

I then try my best to ignore him as he presses lightly against me, laying down behind me. I couldn't help but feel anxious as he tries to find a comfortable position to lay in. His bed wasn't the biggest, but why would it need to be? It was only for himself, not for fitting another person.

I feel his hand touch my waste then instantly retract away from me.

"It's fine George. There isn't much room. Just-just put your arms around me." I heard him swallow a big gulp behind me then slowly place his arms back around me. I gave him permission to do this, but I was not expecting him to pull me into him closer so that we were now spooning. Oh.

"Like this?" It was said so innocently but it makes my head spin anyway. The shakey voice in his words, his accent, our position, everything made me weak. I let out a small 'mhm' to finally let him know I was okay with it.

Was this his way of making a move on me? I felt butterflies shoot through my chest as I felt his warmth up against me. I hear him let out an exhale beside my ear, giving me chills. Trying my hardest not to let on that I was looking, I glance down at his arms around me. I see his hands holding around me gently, and it looked so right.

We weren't together, together, so this should feel weird, but it didn't. All I wanted was to turn around and cuddle into his chest and inhale his scent. His arms felt so safe and I could feel my heart speeding up by the second.

He then giggles at the screen making me forget that we were even watching a movie. I had wanted to watch it so badly not long ago and now all I wanted to do was turn around and watch him instead. I just couldn't get enough of-well-all of him.

I look up at the scene and laugh a second later than he had, as if I was even paying attention. I then feel George shuffle to move his hands and put them over my eyes carefully, covering my vision so I couldn't see anything. I gasp lightly, unsure what he was doing, until he whispers;

"Are you even paying attention?" My heart immediately drops. Did he notice me watching him? What was with his hands around my eyes? Knowing damn well I wasn't paying any attention I say convincingly;

"Um yeah?" It's all I can smoothly say. He giggles at me and asks, totally on to me now;

"What is happening right now on screen then?" Shit. His arms are still blocking my vision so I can't cheat even if I wanted to. Guess that was why. I then hear a song playing on the TV. The song 'push it' was playing, causing me to actually remember what scene it was. I scoff and proudly answer;

"Rosie is having her baby." I remove his hands from my eyes and move to look at him to rub it in his face, only he was too close, so we ended up bumping noses instead. George moves away from me then briskly smacks the back of his head on his wall. He massages it, clearly in pain and then says apologetically;

"Sorry." I give him a confused look.

"What are you apologizing for? It was your head that got hit, not mine." He then pauses and quietly explains;

"I just don't want you thinking I got you into my bed with me just to make moves on you." My amused expression immediately drops and turns to surprised. I didn't know how to react. It was nice that he was being a gentleman, but it wasn't a big deal. If I didn't at least like him a little, I wouldn't even still be here with him. All I've been wanting tonight was for him to make some sort of move on me.

I decided then that all I wanted was to make that clear to him.

"I mean-if you wanted to you could." George gets pink in his cheeks then I see a shy smile take over. Confusing me completely, he looks to be thinking what I said over. Finally, right before I couldn't take it anymore he says;

"I want to, but then I'm sure it would go in another direction fast. Just for tonight, I want to just enjoy eachothers company." Completely unexpecting to be rejected, I turn away from him. He grabs my shoulders and turns me back so I'm looking into his eyes. He must tell how close I am to breaking down because he pulls me closer and explains;

"I do want to Issa." I simply turn my head away, not wanting to look at him; I was too embarrassed. I understood why he was pulling away from me, but I had finally went out of my comfort zone and I immediately look like a clown for it. I'm still looking away from him, on the verge of tears as he huffs out a burst of air then turns me back to him. This time he just looked sympathetic. I go to tell him it's okay, when he surprises me by kissing me.

I can feel him moving closer, still kissing me. He goes to grab me but before he does, I hesitantly break apart from him. I never wanted it to end, I missed kissing him so much. I wanted to lay in bed and just kiss him the rest of the night, but I knew it was better to end it now. He looks disappointed by me stopping so I explain;

"You just wanted to hang out, remember?" George looks like he might explode as he groans, but nods at me, agreeing anyway. Feeling loads better now, I lay back down and turn to the TV, watching it again. I glance to see George is still sitting up looking at me. I tap down beside me, signaling for him to come lay back down with me.

He rolls his eyes and does as I say.

"You get your way then leave me hanging? That's just plain mean." He finally gets beside me, not quite as close as before, so I push myself up against him, arching my back more, making him take in a deep breath, then another out. I knew he was probably regretting his decision now, so I took joy in his suffering. I ignore his previous statement and we spend the rest of the day watching movies until eventually we both fell asleep in each others arms.

Just like we were still a couple back at the school.