Chapter 6

Lucas didn't get a chance to retaliate. And after he recognized the abrupt din coming from down the lane for what it was, he realized he wouldn't have to. Bramble would do it for him. He grinned as the barking went from that suspicious "I'm a big vicious dog who eats brigands for breakfast" warning tone into the unabashed "I'm actually just a giant puppy and yay! I've missed you so much!" tenor that greeted Lucas unfailingly, whether he'd been away for days or had merely ducked into the loo for a minute and a half. Lucas widened his grin, subtly stepped aside, and tipped his head toward Alex.

"Oh, no, you don't." Alex warily watched Bramble change the direction of his lope up the lane and angle his trajectory right toward Alex, long fur fluffed out and tongue flapping like a soggy flag in the wind. "That dog," Alex said evenly, "will *not* have another waistcoat to add to his score."

Which would be Bramble 4, Alex 0. And that wasn't even counting trousers and jackets.

Lucas tried to duck out of Alex's reach, but he was a little slow today, and the laughing only made him more so. "Hey!" was all he could yelp, as Alex took hold of Lucas's shoulders and planted him firmly in the path between dog projectile and expensive waistcoat. "Wait, Bramble, no, down, boy!"

It did no good, neither Alex's maneuvering nor Lucas's command. Lucas didn't know how Bramble managed it--mostly because he couldn't really see with the furry barrel of Bramble's chest in his face--but he thought perhaps being short and not much of a barricade helped. Bramble's massive muddy paws went unerringly to Alex's shoulders, only missing the waistcoat because Lucas was in the way and Bramble seemed loath to actually jam his paws into Lucas's face. It didn't save the jacket, which served Alex right, Lucas thought, as he tried to shove Bramble off and spit fur out of his mouth, all while trying to avoid the thick string of drool hanging out the side of Bramble's jaw and flopping dangerously close to Lucas's forehead as Bramble stretched over Lucas's shoulder to try to lick Alex's face.

Lucas finally solved the problem by "accidentally" elbowing Alex in the stomach--well, it was a ruckus and all; one couldn't be expected to keep track of elbows in a ruckus--to make Alex let go of Lucas's shoulders so Lucas could duck under Bramble's left paw. See? There were very clear advantages to having a dog that was much bigger than you were.

"Traitor!" Alex seemed to be managing to avoid the flapping tongue up the side of his face, but was forced to sacrifice the jacket's already muddy shoulder to the rope of drool.

"I'll give you traitor." Lucas inspected his own coat and self, but he was, miraculously, muddy-paw-print free. He straightened his glasses and lifted his chin. "You're the one who thrust me into the breach. Men have been called out for as much, y'know. And worse--denied sex."

Alex paused as he straight-armed Bramble. "Does that mean I might be getting some?"

"Well, I've heard it's a sure cure for a headache."

"Yes, yes, all right." Alex's tone took on a definite slant toward desperation as he stretched his neck back until he was almost doing a backbend to avoid the runaway tongue. "I'm sorry, just...." He almost whined. "Please?"

Lucas grinned. "I do love a man who can beg so prettily." He set his teeth and pushed a sharp whistle through them. "Bramble. C'mon, now, boy. Down!"

Lucas had no illusions that Bramble would listen unless he actually wanted to. Size and an innocent-puppy attitude seemed to work to his advantage altogether too well. This time, Bramble turned his head to give Lucas a sloppy doggy grin, bushy tail swiping at the grass and big, brown eyes alight.

"Down!" Lucas said again then slapped his thigh. "C'mon, then, over here."

Bramble scrambled to comply this time, but not without grinding his forepaws into Alex's lapels on his way down to all fours. With his very best impersonation of an obedient pet, Bramble sat his massive self down at Lucas's feet and settled his head against Lucas's ribs. The adoring stare upward was a very clear "Pet me, pet me, you have to pet meeeeeeeeee pleasepleaseplease, I missed you so much," and Lucas never could resist such endearing begging. Just ask Alex. Lucas obligingly scratched Bramble around his big, floppy ears and very pointedly did not outright laugh at Alex's exasperated attempts to brush off his coat.

"That," Alex said between his teeth, pointing with a narrow stare at a very innocent-looking Bramble, "is not a dog. That is a goblin from the Netherworld in a dog suit."

Lucas tried to imitate Bramble's guileless expression, sans the dopey doggy grin. "They have dog-suit-wearing, jacket-ruining goblins?"

"Made expressly for the purpose. And that one"--again pointing at Bramble--"is their bloody king."

"Did you hear that, Bramble? King!" Lucas gave the dog's head a pat and decided that Alex had suffered enough. "Stay," he told Bramble, as he dug out a handkerchief and made a few swipes at Alex's lapels. It only took the few to determine it wouldn't help. "Come on, I'll stop in at mine while you go up to the main house and find Miss Emma. You can charm her into cleaning it up for you, and by the time you get back, I'll have tea ready."

"Charm nothing. I'll have you know that Miss Emma, bless her, is equally as convinced as I am that that... that"--yet again, Alex pointed accusingly at Bramble, who gave out a happy little yip and swished his tail--"that *creature* would make a much better rug than--"

Lucas cut off the budding tirade by the simple expedient of dragging Alex down by his collar and kissing him. "You can be so cute sometimes." He reached up to pat Alex's cheek.

Alex hesitated for a second, apparently unsure if he'd yet displayed sufficient outrage. His smile was a bit grudging, but his return kiss was pretty heartfelt, if Lucas was any judge.

"Fair warning." Alex dipped down to lay a teasing nibble to the side of Lucas's throat. "I'm perfectly willing to let myself be distracted now." A hot swipe of Alex's tongue just beneath Lucas's chin. "And only because your Goblin King somehow missed the waistcoat." The hint of a teasing tickle up the small of Lucas's back. "But the bedroom door gets closed and locked tonight, with him on the other--"

"Hoy, don't you two ever quit?"

It came from only a few steps behind Lucas, and the fact that Bramble hadn't bothered with his "I'm a big vicious dog who eats brigands for breakfast" routine--plus the very distinctive tone and timbre of the voice--told Lucas exactly who it was. Alex jumped, but Lucas merely sighed. Well, there went the sex and the kip.