Taking the Risk

Peter's heart was beating fast as he stood outside Johnny's penthouse about to knock on the door. He looked back toward Ben's door and then nodded to the guard again before turning back to Johnny's door. It had been over a week since he had last seen Johnny. What was he doing here? Why did he answer his text asking to meet up so Johnny could explain himself? He should have just ignored him like Johnny ignored him. Ugh. At least he could go cry on Selene's shoulder if this all went horribly wrong. He knocked.

Johnny answered the door and said, "Hi. Come in."

Peter said, "Hi" as Johnny gestured for Peter to go inside.

"Thanks for coming," Johnny continued as they both entered the foyer, which looked quite different from Ben's. It was much larger and in a semi-circle shape, with large, white tile floors that looked expensive. There were smaller grey tiles that formed art-decco type shapes amidst them.

Peter was surprised that Johnny did not have an area where there was a place to take off their shoes, but realized that it was a cultural difference. He followed Johnny to the living area, which was decorated as if it was straight out of an interior designer's magazine. "Nice place. I love the style," he remarked.

"Thanks," Johnny replied with a small smile. "But I can't take credit," he continued as they both sat down across from each other on the light mint-colored couches, separated by a long, lean grey coffee table. I hired a designer and told him I wanted as minimalist as possible but with some art-decco mixed in. Those were my only two requirements. I left the rest to him. I'm fine with how it turned out. I don't spend much time here anyway."

Peter's eyebrows raised as he questioned, "Art-decco, huh?"

"What can I say, I love old movies and just that style," Johnny shrugged. "But I didn't want all of that in my home. Plus it's just me here. I don't have a lot of stuff. Most of the rooms are empty."

Peter nodded, "I could see that. You don't seem like the kind of guy who collects knick-knacks." He chuckled.

"I don't?," Johnny joked.

"Don't start," Peter cautioned.

Johnny nodded and waved his hands in concession as he said, "Just kidding." Then he started to rise and asked, "How rude of me, can I get you anything to drink?"

Peter shook his head and replied, "Nothing for me, thank you." Then he looked down and started fidgeting with his hands.

Johnny nodded again and sat back down. "Right. Well. I guess we should just get to it," he started.

"Yah. I guess so," Peter agreed.

"Now that you're here," Johnny said leaning in and resting his arms on his knees, hands clasped, "I don't know what to say."

Peter looked at him quizzically and said, "You don't know what to say? Umm, you could start by telling me why you texted me a full week after you said you would text in a few days. Or why you kissed me and then dropped me off and basically said 'see ya.' Or why you took me out in the first place? Start backwards order or you could go forward. Either way."

"I feel like I'm on the witness stand," Johnny said sarcastically.

Peter stood up, shaking his head, and said, "I don't need to…"

Johnny stood up too, interrupting him with, "I'm just kidding." He made a motion with both palms facing down and moving up and down, indicating "calm down" and said, "Let's sit back down. I really do want to talk to you."

When Peter sat back down, he crossed his legs, and put his arms over his thigh, waiting for Johnny to speak.

Johnny was sitting up straight as he began, "First I want to apologize for hurting your feelings. My behavior was uncalled for. I can only say that I've never…" He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence and tell Peter his real feelings: that he'd never liked a man so much before. "...uh, that I've never been in this type of situation before."

"What type of situation?," Peter asked, interrupting him. "I don't understand."

Johnny shook his head, "Uh, that's what I'm trying to explain."

"Oh, sorry," Peter said, blushing a little.

After taking a breath but trying to make it unnoticeable, Johnny continued, "That night at the dinner, at Ben's, I really did want to be alone with you and get to know you better. And then when I took you to the hill, that's probably the first spontaneous thing I've done in ten years."

Peter's eyes widened. His heart-rate was increasing with every word that Johnny was saying and he was sure it could be heard outside his chest at this point.

Johnny leaned in as he assured Peter, "And in the moment, our kiss did mean something to me. It still does."

Peter's eyebrows were pinched as he shook his head in bewilderment. "Then why?," he queried.

"I'm in the middle of something right now that keeps me so busy that there just isn't time to have a serious relationship. I've been on this project essentially since high school and I have to see it through," Johnny told him.

Peter leaned in reaching is arms out in a gesture that matched his question as he asked, "What is it? Maybe I can help."

He heard Johnny give a small laugh as he replied, "In a way you already are." Then Johnny sighed, "But no, this is too big. And it's been too long. I have to see it to the end. And you don't seem like the type of guy who wouldn't have a casual relationship, so that's why…." Johnny trailed off as he shrugged his shoulders with a hint of sadness.

Peter nodded but underneath he was not about to give up. "I don't buy it," he responded. "First of all, what do you mean by I'm already helping. And second of all, I'm an ADA, currently working on a murder case by the way, so nothing is too big for me," (he winked at Johnny at the double entendre). "I have connections you wouldn't even dream about. I really can help. Just tell me who it's about or who it involves, and I'll tell you if I can help. If I can't, then I'll back off and I promise I won't tell anyone either way."

Johnny let out the deep breath he had been holding while Peter had been talking. He took a moment to consider Peter's offer. He was very tempted to take it. He had been alone for so long. Peter was Selene's friend and something in his gut also told him that he could be trusted. Was it worth taking the risk? Eh, he could always make Peter disappear if it all went awry.

Johnny was trying to be funny in that Johnny way of his, of course.

He looked at Peter and opened his mouth to say yes but the words just would not come out. "I'm sorry."

Peter was very surprised. He was sure his speech would sway Johnny. "At least I gave it a shot," Peter thought as he stood up. "Thank you anyway for explaining everything to me," he said. "I'll get going now."

Johnny couldn't stand and Peter wasn't sure what to do. "Uh, I guess I'll just see myself out?," he asked hesitantly as he started walking slowly back the way he had been led. Johnny didn't say a word and it was all very weird to Peter.

What Peter didn't know was that Johnny was lost in his own thoughts. As soon as he said the words "I'm sorry," he realized that what was stopping him was fear. He realized this because as soon as those words came out, he heard a voice in his head that called himself a coward. No one had ever called him that. He'd never called himself that. So, to hear it came as a shock. And Johnny was no coward.

Johnny stood up and walked quickly to Peter, who at this point was almost at the front door. He reached Peter and turned him around. Peter was surprised and exclaimed, "What the hell is going on?"

"I take it back," Johnny replied suddenly. "Can you just forget those last two words I just said?"

Peter looked at him like he was an insane person and then closed his eyes, shaking his head in frustration. "You are going to drive me crazy if we actually start dating, aren't you?," he asked with a lopsided smile.

"Will you let me?," Johnny taunted back, taking him by the hand and leading Peter back to the living room.

"Do I have a choice?," Peter teased as he let himself be led.

This time they sat next to each other on the couch and Johnny started by taking a deep breath as he reminded Peter, "Remember, you asked for this."

"I know," Peter nodded.

"Maybe I should make us some coffee?," he asked

Peter nodded again, "Sounds like we might need it."

After Johnny came back with the coffee and put the mugs on the table in front of them, he settled next to Peter and held his hand. "This isn't easy for me," he said.

"I understand," Peter said. "You can take it slow and just tell me whatever you feel comfortable sharing."

Johnny sighed and said, "First, you should know, my work with Ben isn't just for the company. I'm working with him on bringing down the Drakos family." He waited to see what Peter's reaction would be. Johnny was a big guy, 6' 5'', with broad shoulders and matching biceps, but right now he felt a vulnerable in front of Peter.

"You mean for Selene and everything that happened with the kidnapping and all that?," Peter asked, leaning forward and tilting his head forward.

Johnny had forgotten Peter would naturally connect those dots instead. "Yes, but my family also has a history with them," Johnny explained, "That's actually how I know Ben. We grew up together because our families go back to our great grandfathers. The three of them, the Lius, Drakoses, and my family, the Mastersons. The three men were all immigrants who banded together to help each other out in building their respective businesses and they were successful."

Peter put his free hand on Johnny's knee to interrupt him, "Wait a minute, Selene told me some of this but she didn't mention your family. She only knew of the two, the crazy parents and the evil nutjobs."

Johnny tried not to smile as he nodded, "Yes, that's because Ben didn't tell her about my family. And I appreciate that." He could see Peter getting angry and said, "Hold on, hold on. Before you start getting mad. This isn't something he hid from her. He told her that I had my own motivations against Drakos but that it wasn't his place to tell her, and she understood. So don't go punching him again." Johnny smiled at that last part.

"What? You seem happy that I punched him," Peter teased.

"Of course not," Johnny said. "I'm just surprised that someone like you punched someone like him."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!," Peter exclaimed, genuinely annoyed. "I work out, you know."

Johnny laughed, "Nothing, I swear." Then he looked at Peter a little seductively as he said, "I can tell you work out." Peter smiled as Johnny continued, "It's just that Ben is a professionally trained fighter. And by professionally trained, I mean by yours truly."

"Oh. Well, I guess you did a sucky job then," Peter rolled his eyes up and looked away, smiling with the taunt. He picked up his coffee and took a sip as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Is that right?," Johnny taunted back. "Maybe we could take this to my gym in the next room and go a few rounds."

"You have a gym here?," Peter asked incredulously, putting the mug on his lap.

Johnny gave a little laugh and responded, "What else was I going to do with all the space?"

"Very cool," Peter said in an admiring and slightly envious tone. Then he shook his head as if clearing his thoughts. "Okay, let's get back to your story."

"Right," Johnny said. He took his own mug and after drinking a couple mouthfuls, he continued the narrative, "I don't know how much Selene told you but as part of the initial deals, the Lius built relationships in China, the Drakos family had Greece and the Middle East. Just a little piece of Europe. My family focused on Europe and eventually had most of it. I'll spare you the rest of the history lesson but suffice it to say that Demitrios screwed my parents over on a major deal that started a series of events that cost my parents pretty much everything. And he had a hand in all those events. I guess they wanted more of Europe, the greedy bastards."

Even though Johnny wasn't showing a lot of emotion on his face as he talked about what happened to his family, it showed in his eyes.

Peter looked sympathetic as he said, "I guess the second generation didn't carry out their fathers' legacies huh?"

Johnny shook his head, "No. They didn't really get along. The business world had changed by then as well. New technologies too, you know?"

Peter nodded. "So, what happened to your family? You mentioned high school so I guess it happened then?," he asked, putting the mug back on the coffee table.

"Yes, it all started the last couple years of high school, which is why I eventually chose to go into the military instead of college," Johnny explained. "At that point, I wanted to kill them with my bare hands and that seemed the best route to go." He took a drink of coffee then put the mug down on the table.

He said it with such a dead pan expression that Peter couldn't tell if he was kidding. He didn't want to ask either as he almost didn't want to find out the answer.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you and your family," Peter said, squeezing Johnny's hand.

Johnny pursed his lips before he said, "Thank you. I'll get my revenge though."

"So what's the plan then?," Peter asked.

Johnny smiled. "Let's talk about that another time. This was a lot of talking for me."

"That's true," Peter laughed. "You're usually the strong, silent type right?"

"Are you making fun of me?," Johnny asked, smiling.

"No, I like it. It's kind of hot," Peter responded, tilting his head toward one shoulder and looking him up and down.

"Damn," Johnny said, responding to the look, "The atmosphere changed quickly in here."

Peter laughed, "I'm glad you noticed."

Johnny leaned in, put one of his palms on Peter's face and without breaking eye contact, started kissing him. It was only when their lips touched, that both of them closed their eyes to more fully appreciate the touch and taste of each other.