This Is What I Mean

Charlie was looking at everywhere but at the teacher. It has been almost a minute since the teacher was just standing there and staring at him without saying a word.

Did he expect him to melt away or something?!

With every passing second, Charlie felt the silence unbearable and suffocating. All he wanted to do was just run away from there.

After what felt like ages, Mr. Goodman heaved a heavy sigh. And Charlie couldn't help but think that it was a sound of disappointment.

Charlie gulped his dry throat and looked up at the teacher.

"Charlie, I used to speak of you with such great pride" Mr. Goodman spoke, leaning on the table with his arms crossed. "And what have you done?"

Charlie just stared at him without uttering a word.

Another sigh escaped the teacher.

"The last time, McWillus and Hillinger were the ones who were standing right where you are now. I see you hanging out with them lately. They did better this time. Good for them... But what have become of you, Carlton?"

Charlie felt a lump raising to his throat. Never once in his life had he heard a bad remark from his teacher.

He could no more look at the teacher, so he quickly turned his gaze down to his feet.

"Is something going on with you?" The teacher enquired further.

"No" It came out as a low, broken voice.

The teacher sighed.

"I expect better scores from you, Carlton. Make it up for me the next time"

Charlie pursed his lips and nodded.

"You may take your leave"

Charlie turned around briskly and stepped out of the door. He stopped momentarily as he saw the last person he wanted to see at the moment- Trevor- standing there, leaning his back on the wall.

Trevor has been waiting for a pretty few minutes. He tried listening in, but couldn't hear a thing the teacher spoke.

It wasn't like he wanted to go to class anyway, so he decided to just stand there and wait until Charlie came out.

Eventually he did and Trevor couldn't help but feel a little awkward at the way Charlie looked at him. He looked like he was going to cry.

"Er... Hey" Trevor waved, raising an eyebrow.

Charlie felt a wave of emotions flood his mind and anger was one of the many dominants among them.

He just walked away, clenching his jaw and stomping his feet.

Trevor whistled as his head followed Charlie's movement.

He cocked his head to his side in confusion and strided forward to catch up with him.

"Yo, what happened to the Goldie of the class? Where did all your good scores go?" Trevor asked with a smirk and it only made Charlie have an outburst.

Charlie stopped walking and yelled at Trevor.

"What happened?! I was living a great life, Trevor. And you just had to walk into it and I thought,... Maybe it was getting better. Because you acted like you cared. Like,... You are the one who built my hopes up and now my life is going down-hills... All because of you!"

Charlie felt tears prick at the back of his eyes as he felt as if his knees could no longer support him. He leaned on to the wall to support himself.

He looked down as his eyes squinted and lips quivered. "You are the one who gave me hope, You are the reason why I'm like this, Trev" his voice came out as a low whisper.

Trevor stood there shell-shocked. It was a lot of information to get in thirty seconds. When he finally processed what he had been told, he opened his mouth to speak. But he really didn't know what to say.

"Ch-Charlie... What if I told you... That I like you too?"

Charlie scoffed. "What? Is this another sick trick of you? So you can laugh at me later?"

Trevor's eyebrows drew closer and his lips curved into a frown.

Did he really think he was that bad of a guy?

"I... I'm not kidding"

Charlie slid down the wall and sat there with one of his hand on his knee.

He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Trevor. He clenched his jaws in an attempt to keep himself from falling apart.

"What do you mean, Trev?"

Trevor pursed his lips.

What does he mean?

Can words ever make him believe him?

Trevor spared a glance to his sides and he heaved a sigh.

Charlie was confused why Trevor was suddenly kneeling in front of him.

But before he knew it, he leaned in and connected their lips, taking a hold of his neck.

A voice in his head screamed at Charlie that they were in the hallways, where anyone could probably walk in on them. But that tiny little voice was swept to the very back of his head as Trevor's sweet lips moved against his in a slow rhythm.

Just as he liked to stay like that forever, Trevor eventually pulled away and gazed into Charlie's dilated pupils that were gazing back at him. He ran his thumb down his cheek and spoke in a low voice.

"This is what I mean when I say that I like you. This is what I've always meant with every single word I said to you. It was just.... I was too much of a coward to face it, Char"

A teary smile tugged at Charlie's face and he laughed. "Imbecile"

Trevor cocked his head to his side with an impressed look on his face.

Charlie shifted under Trevor's weight that was partially leaned on to him. "Now, get off of me before someone sees us"

Trevor smiled and got up, dusting his knees.

He lend Charlie a hand and helped him up.

Even after Charlie stood on his feet, Trevor didn't let go off his hand. He just held it in his and walked with him, rocking his hand gently.