Home: Found Out and Mother

My older sibling found out about my cuts on my hands This could be a problem but she was always the first one to tell whether or not I was hurt and if I did anything it was the same couple of years ago too I had started back up again because of all the stress I have been getting lately I've been going on again because of school I didn't realize that she would be able to notice that again But that really got me scared when she asked where the blade was I had given it to her I also told her that I also use glass and wood sometimes to cut myself and I didn't realize that there could be a possibility of someone finding out and it had to be the one day I decided to roll up my sleeves and the one day she asked for my hand So I have been exposed I don't know if she's going to tell Mother.Mother has returned but she hasn't told her anything yet I don't know if she plans to tell her on a later future but for now I'm glad but that doesn't mean I will let down my guard again she hasn't brought it up besides making sure I'm alright and checking up on me but she hasn't brought it up at all afterwords so I believe it's alright for now

My mother is so annoying she's talking about how I should be helping my little sibling with stuff but when it comes to me needing a little help I get jack shit like oh my God everything is like come on there so young but like what about when I was fucking young you moron what's the change what about me why can't you do that to me when have I ever been in first in your train of thought never never have you thought I'd need help I always come in the middle or just last because I'm in-dependable like fuck shit I am she never tries to consider my feelings all it is her own little pity thought Never try to consider anyone else's feelings never have never once seen her truck goddamn be nice without putting up a smile but she sucks up to my Dad so much like she's always talking about how I always look like him and I'm a perfect replica of him SO WHAT WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I GIVE A FUCK JACK ASS well that just how she is and I hope to never become like her well I've got to go back to business I was in the middle of some thing can't believe I let this down wow I like typing to you guys that's never happened before I don't like this...feeling it's quite strange never had to consider it before since I never really expressed or showed emotion in some phrase or title well I like it...I like it a lot I never thought I'd actually be able to say that but yeah writing down these things and actually talking about it is quite fun so thank you