Escape

My trembling body was carelessly thrown onto the cold, wet floor of the attic, a.k.a my room.

I was naked that moment. The caretaker had struck at me once again, like the thunder which unpredictably blazes in the storm I have survived for as long as I could remember. I pressed my thighs together, the white liquid slowly drying between them. I wasn't sure if there was anything more unsatisfying than that feeling I felt. I guessed my first time getting raped wasn't the last. I tried my best to fight against him, but instead, fear danced along to his evil deed. My body pained everywhere. Tears fell nonstop from my eyelids, quiet sobs escaping my lips.

I had given up on my life.

"Here." The Caretaker said, throwing my dress on top of me. "You really got me there, love. I enjoyed every bit of you."

I shuddered at his words. No matter how many times he said things about my body, I never got used to them. I cried every night just hearing him talk about me. And because of him, I never wanted to find love. What did love mean anyway? Was it getting raped by a man? Was it hearing infatuating comments about my body? Was it feeling hopeless, knowing damn well that there was no one out there to save me? Was that love? If that was love, then I'd rather die. I'd rather die than suffer from that disease called love. I never wanted any form of relationship with a man. Even if it were to be a harmless friendship, I'd rather die!

"Better be ready to work first thing in the morning, you understand?"

I gave a small nod, hoping he'd leave me alone afterwards. Unfortunately, he still stood there. He closed the door and sat down next to me.

"Get dressed." He said plainly

"Huh?" I was dumbfounded, as usual

"I said get dressed!" He yelled, the scattered echoes feeding my fear.

It was a pity no one outside the orphanage could hear him since it was hidden deep in the forest of Korea. If only I was brave enough to escape and run away as far as possible. I wouldn't know where to go, but the one thing I knew for sure was that I'd be the happiest person in the world.

"What are you waiting for, slut? Get dressed!" He smacked my bottom hard. That left a mark, but I didn't care anymore. I had plenty more on my body. But to avoid any more pain, I did as I was told and got up to dress.

I turned my back to him so that he wouldn't see my front. Yes, he has seen me naked before, but honestly. I wouldn't let myself dress so freely in front of him with his eyes glued to my boobs. I had dignity too.

"What are you doing?" He asked, standing up now. My body automatically started shaking with fear. I slightly turned my head to look at him, my hair hanging over my face.

"Look at your face." He smirked, showing his brown teeth to me. I never knew teeth could turn such a disturbing colour.

"Why are you so scared, huh? You don't have to be so scared. Come here."

He grabbed me by the waist, but I quickly pushed his hands away from me. Yes, I pushed him. That very moment was the first time I've ever fought for myself, and it felt good in a way.

"Come on, let me comfort you. You're old enough to have sex, so don't miss any opportunities."

"I would never want to have sex with you." I blurted out. My voice sounded foreign to my ears.

"That's nonsense! I can let you experiment with my body if you want. Or should I experiment with yours first? I could use a little more of you."

He took a step closer to me, then the next step followed the next. I backed away the closer he got until my back hit the wall. He was now standing in front of me. I turned my head to the side so that I wouldn't have to look at his wrinkled face. He leaned in close and sniffed my hair. That's when I felt his hand stroke my cheek. The discomfort of his touch made me feel like my body wasn't mine anymore. I didn't want to be in my skin. I didn't want him to touch him.

I wanted to scream, but his other hand covered my mouth. He slowly ran his hand down every inch of my body, and that was when I completely lost my mind. I froze from the evil sensation, moans escaping my lips. I felt his tongue lick my neck. It was disgusting, but my body loved it for some reason.

My body wasn't my body.

I needed to get away from his grip. I knew I was going to regret letting the Caretaker do this to my body, so I needed a way out.

I roughly pushed him away from me, causing him to fall to the floor. I then rushed for my broken mirror, grabbed a piece of the sharp blade and stabbed the Caretaker in his neck.

A scream escaped his lips, blood squirting out from his neck. I rushed out of the room and ran as fast as I could to find something useful to defend myself. The orphanage was a large building, so it was a challenge for me to find anything.

The Caretaker only allowed me to stay on the top floor. I wasn't able to be anywhere else but on the top floor. That has been the case ever since I was a baby.

"Kim Hyun-Gi!" The Caretaker shouted my name, his voice trembling due to blood loss. I couldn't afford to let him find me. I had to get out of there. Once and for all.

Without taking anything, I ran down the stairs of every floor in the building until I made it to the first floor. There I found a small reception table with a red telephone. I pressed random numbers to see if it still worked, but the telephone line was cut in half.

I heard footsteps coming from a distance. I quickly hid under the reception table. Underneath it laid a silver gun with dried-up blood all over it. Without thinking twice, I grabbed it and patiently waited for the Caretaker to approach me.

His footsteps could be heard from a distance. My naked body shook from fear and coldness. He's going to kill me, I thought.

I needed a way to attack him without being seen. Attacking him from the front wasn't the option, for he'd kill me in seconds. The only option was from the back.

"Hyun-Gi, come out wherever you are and apologize for what you did." The Caretaker commanded. I could tell he was standing right in front of the table I was under. I hoped he wouldn't see me. I quietly readied the gun for shooting. I couldn't see where he was, so the only solution was to listen for his footsteps.

"Kim Hyun-Gi! Come out, come out wherever you are!" He yelled again.

A sob suddenly escaped my lips. I quickly covered my mouth to block any more sobs. I hated it when I did that without intending to. It was like a habit that grew with me ever since I was little. It only came when I was scared (which was quite frequent).

Suddenly, I felt something sharp poke me behind the neck. Tears began falling from my eyes when I realized the Caretaker had found me. That was it. That was the end of me.I thought that was the very last moment I lived.

"You think y-your so s-smart, huh? Y-you can't r-run from me, you slut!"

I had to make a decision that moment; Make a move, or die. I didn't want my life to be taken away in such a filthy, horrible place. The place where I was beaten up several times, the place where I was raped twice, the place where the Caretaker forced me to arouse him whenever he felt like it. The Caretaker didn't even feed me proper food. I didn't want to die there. Never in a million years.

"G-get up!." The Caretaker stuttered from behind,"

I slowly got up onto my feet, not daring to turn around.

"Good girl." The Caretaker whispered

He grabbed me by the shoulder, but I quickly turned around and pulled the trigger of the gun at him. I shot his shoulder. He let out a scream again, this time sounding even louder.

He lifted his knife, ready to attack me. I shot him again, making sure that I aimed for his head this time. He collapsed onto the ground, and the knife from his hand made a clattering sound on the floor.

I knelt next to him to check if he still had a pulse.

....

Nothing.

Finally, nothing.

After all these years, I had finally killed the Caretaker. It sounded so stupid, waiting over 10 years just to kill an old man. It was as if all my worries floated away with his soul to hell. Unfortunately, the pain in my heart remained. But I was glad the Caretaker was finally gone.

"I'm free," I whispered to myself, a tear falling from my eyelid.

And for the first time, it was a tear of joy.