Jircniv felt the weight of the world rise from his shoulders, as soon as the Princess recognized him. There was nothing to do for it however, he didn't even bother to curse his last scrap of ill luck. His feet in his rough leather sandals scraped over the stone floor and he sat down on one of the few pieces of furniture he had, and when he sat, he sat with his feet open, back straight, and hands relaxed over the dark wooden armrest. In short, he sat in the regal manner of a monarch born and bred to rule.
"I'll be damned." Zesshi said as the door swung open, her left hand came out and held it ajar to permit her and her husband to enter.
Brain let out a long, low whistle. "That's my line." He said when the whistle died.
"No. You can have that 'I'll be damned' or the 'whistle' but not both." Zesshi retorted and the pair rolled their eyes in opposite directions from one another when they stepped within and the door was finally allowed to swing closed with a click as final as a prisoner's manacles.
Jircniv raised his eyebrow, "You two are not what I was expecting. I admit I often wondered what you looked like, and this…" He waved his hand up and down at the couple in front of him, "isn't it."
"What did you expect?" Zesshi asked, her eyes narrowed in on him, her hackles rose as she waited for the bigotry of man to come at her again, Brain's hand closed in hers and it was his gentle squeeze that kept the Empress's words and temper bound inside herself.
"I was expecting some… I don't know…" The former scratched his bald head as he looked the blue haired swordsman up and down, the broad shoulders… the sharp gleam in his eye… the full head of hair which the former Emperor could not keep from envying. And then his wife, heterochromatic eyes and hair alike, her lustrous hair seemed to dance at her back, constantly in motion as if pressed by its own private breeze. Their royal garments were more like 'dress up' really, and the way the royal pair moved, it was obvious the both were more comfortable in, ironically 'less comfortable' clothing. "I suppose I was expecting people more rugged, deep frowns, scowls. Something."
It was Zesshi who verbalized the sly grin on her husband's face. "Every reason we had for that is dead or declining toward it fast. We have no reason at all to be unhappy or scowling."
"And like you said," Brain added with a casual shrug that would have fit in within any barracks in the Empire, "lucky soldiers, something like that?"
"I did say that, didn't I?" Jircniv said and after lowering his eyes once to the floor he let out a second sigh, "So the conditions for this were always the same for me, victory conditions, that is," he cleared his throat and looked up at the Emperor and Empress, "I remain alive until I die of old age. Since that is no longer an option, my victory condition is a swift and painless death. You both won your status by the sword," he gestured toward Brain's katana, "and you're armed, so if it isn't too much to ask, could you make it quick and painless? No beheading, I saw that done once and the beheaded man blinked and moved his mouth like he was trying to speak for almost two straight minutes. That seems like a kind of private hell. One quick thrust into my brain should do it." Jircniv closed his eyes and relaxed, then waited.
And it was because he closed his eyes that he didn't see that the Emperor and Empress looking at one another with abject confusion etched on their faces.
"Why exactly?" Brain scratched his head through the thick of his bright blue hair, "You're the former emperor, not a sneak thief or anything…?"
Jircniv's eyes flew open. The confusion on the faces of his replacements was bright as day, his fingers tensed on the armrest, but only for a moment. His lightning quick mind was already racing as he reevaluated his victory conditions.
"I can see my face in the back of his head!" Layali giggled from the window, and in the moment where her parents blushed a little bit at her unintended mockery, Jircniv settled on the answer most likely to meet his 'new' conditions.
"Why because I hid my identity, of course. It's sort of implied that I'm lying given that I never announced myself to either of you." He said as if it were obvious and then coughed into his hand, "Besides, I didn't end on a popular note, so being seen with me might not be the best thing."
They were trivial offenses, 'nothing' offenses really, but the former Emperor did his best to keep a straight face while he waited for the chance their novice expressions would provide to him.
"Those don't seem like terrible offenses to me…? Zesshi?" Brain asked.
"I guess things were a little harsher than I thought before… that just doesn't seem like things to kill over…" Zesshi snorted, "Stupid too, if the person you're supposed to kill is good at something."
There it was. Jircniv kept his face passive and his tone lightly questioning, "I see, so then Your Majesties intend to pardon me for everything, and leave me with my life?"
"I don't see why not, you've been helpful the last few years." Brain answered impulsively. "Alright, you're pardoned for everything, you have the word of the crown."
Zesshi was only a hair slower, "It would be kind of a waste… but are you sure you won't come to Arwintar? I guess you not going makes sense now but… now we know." She said and clapped her hands together as if something were wordlessly settled.
"If a new face could be arranged, I'd be more comfortable with that." Jircniv said, 'As if something like that could be done, an illusion won't do since that can be broken, and then I get to stay here secure. I can probably even get them to keep quiet. Victory achieved!' He thought and suppressed the urge to crow when the new royalty looked briefly disappointed.
"Oh that's easy!" Layali shouted from the window, "Mr. Demiurge knows how to sculpt faces, he's been practicing a lot, I'll bet if I asked a favor they'd give you a new face! It might cost me an arm and a leg, but it's okay because they always give 'em back, with ice cream!" She laughed and licked her lips, and Jircniv cursed himself.
'I spoke too soon… but then again, a new face is total freedom…' He realized and snapped the unexpected opportunity up. "If you're sure, then… yes. Yes, I'll go back, all I need is a new face and a new voice to go with it."
"That's easy!" Layali promised. Jircniv didn't need to see her to know she was smiling. Still, he resisted turning around despite his curiosity, the girl had long been just a voice through a door who asked a bombardment of questions and slid jelly candies through the door slat in exchange for answers.
For the longest time he considered her a way to just pass a few hours a few times a year, and never had he seen more than her back when she walked away, and that only at an angle that the door slat allowed.
And since he dared not turn his eyes away from royalty to satisfy his curiosity, he turned his mind to another question. "Do you know what she means with that 'arm and a leg' talk, Majesties? What kind of work does she do over there?"
"We have no idea. But she always comes back happy and if anything, healthier than before, and usually with some fine reward for herself or the Empire. So we can't really object." Zesshi said, and when Layali's smile became smug to the elder half elf's eyes, Zesshi added, "Much." Before Layali dropped out of sight to avoid any further questions and landed on the ground beyond the wall of the former emperor's room.
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