We have secrets

It was a usual day. I came to school while reading a book. But It was a very special day for Johnathan (my childhood friend) because he was going to propose to me. He was my only friend in School, we both treasured each other the most.

The School bell rang and it was break-time. I was reading my book while a classmate of mine approached me, I knew that he was going to propose me because he was really nervous and was blushing; other than that I noticed that he always kept staring at me. It was no deal for me because I already rejected 30 boys since I was in Kindergarten, I knew that he was just another one.

Johnathan saw him approaching, he saw how I rejected him and told him "Thank you but I'm sorry, I don't like anyone. You can leave now." He decided to keep it to himself. He knew me quite well but it was his first time seeing me rejecting someone. But deep down in my heart I knew that I like him too. I knew that he liked me but I would never tell him about my feelings, I decided to keep it to myself and remain good friends. I thought eventually my feelings would start to fade away but it didn't.

At first, it really broke my heart when I rejected every boy but there's isn't any other choice because I'm forbidden to love. If I ever dare to love, I have to lose someone precious to have someone in my life. That's my life.

I'm not the only one who has a secret, who is forbidden to love, Johnathan is also one of them but he was still more courageous than me who dared to break the rule. I acted all cold and didn't talk much with others so that guys will stop falling for me but they didn't stop at all. Actually, more guys started falling for me after I started acting cold. But Johnathan was different, he kept fighting with me but he also cared for me, he was sincere to me while the other guys just wanted to be around me because of my face. That's why, my heart liked Johnathan.

But Johnathan's secret was something that I never ever expected even in my dreams. I almost froze to death when I got to know that he wasn't a normal human. He didn't even think that loving me can even cost him his life and I was the one who only cared about herself, about the person she could lose if she wanted to love someone. If I gave my heart to someone, someone else's heart will stop. How could I lose someone I love to get someone I love? Isn't it unfair? It was better to watch Johnathan from far than losing someone or am I just too selfish?