24. Sinner
"System, I choose the class of the town growing." Camus spoke angrily while directing the horse without any direction "Understood, assigning location" In front of my eyes appeared the map with a dot, I enlarged the map and realized that I was not so far away. "Faster, Hal!" that was the name I gave to this horse, it was a brown color, there was nothing special about it, only his big protest against my orders, although to my surprise the was faster.
From a distance I could see the construction of walls, buildings and houses for new residents. When I arrived a man was waiting for me like everyone else, short but formal and with a big green hair, I got off my horse, and he spoke." You have no weapons?" He asked me. "My fists are enough for anyone" He nodded "My name is Idro and yours?"
"Camus" I replied.
With the introductions finished Idro informed me about the current state of the town "The town is growing a lot, but we have also been attacked by bandits and hordes of monsters, we fear a big attack from either of these two is coming". I thought for a few minutes as we walked through the town, "How much will my pay be?" "5 silver coins every month you are here" we continued walking until Idro led me to a small house "This will be your lodging, it belongs to you, you can make any modifications you want" He left the house was a bit dusty and dirty, but it could be easily fixed.
I left my small house and entered a large forest and found a big sky, I stayed watching the sky for hours observing every movement of the clouds or admiring the shapes of these, it was already night, I watched the stars, they were beautiful colors so diverse and majestic that calmed me. In the calm scenario in which I found myself I didn't expect to be listened to, I was alone, so I opened my mouth to vent. "Why am I so pathetic? I don't remember my mother's name or any of my close relatives, not even their faces, nothing. After some time I spoke again "My own head torments me I have ruined lives directly and indirectly, I am a monster in human form"My voice was starting to break more and more "You have abandoned me because you knew I was going to do this I am a sinner the worst of all, I could have saved so many, and I have done nothing for them, I just looked like a useless" My voice was trembling and half broken.
"Jesus, why me? " I was not angry or sad I felt indifferent as if I could not believe what was happening to me even though with that indifference small tears came out of my eyes "I have abandoned even my friend I have let myself be carried away by my emotions I have abandoned Eva I am so pathetic" My head that was looking towards the sky moved slowly to look at the depressing ground "I am alone I have lost them for letting myself be carried away by my emotions now I am totally alone, and I deserve it" I brought my two hands towards my face covering my vision, With every word out of my mouth my voice broke, and I began to cry as I had never cried before, I did not hold back as I always did, I hoped that if there was a God he could hear me. When I finished my confession, I collapsed and slept on the doughy floor, fortunately without any nightmares.
When I woke up, the sun had just risen, and I felt refreshed like a new person. I had left Hal in a newly built stable they didn't charge me anything also when I went to eat I needed large amounts of food to maintain this body they didn't charge me either according to them, I was a hero they had few healthy men or experienced in battle that I was with them meant hope that took me by surprise and I made a natural smile when I heard those words, I was happy.
{I will protect these people}