11 On The Road Performance

"Can you tell me why I shouldn't chuck her *ss out of my office and into a very nice cell, custom-made for troublemakers like her?" grunted the gruff Captain of the Town Guard.

"S-s-she's God's newest Apostle. F-f-francis ascended to H-h-heaven with John to be a P-p-pimp!" said the Priestess.

"God's been missing for as long as my father, girl," the burly man snorted. "Hey, Cindy, what do you think of these idiots?"

"Kill them."

"Wait, you can't do that!" screamed Ann. "I haven't committed that grave of an offense!"

"You're touting your own nonmagical and unfaithful *ss as God's Apostle. If that ain't worth going to the Chopper, offending me will."

"Look at the Book of Faith! It's got John's Divine Words!" Ann pleaded.

"F*ck if I care, woman. You could've stolen it and be playing dumb with Priesty over there."

"I'm not making this up!! What the f*ck! Damn you, John!!! Why couldn't you chose with your brain and not with your dick?!"

"I'm very lonely..." John said bluntly.

"F*cking masturbate by yourself, you perverted God!!"

"F*cking nutcases I get on the job. Why me? I only accepted this job to miss out on this stupid bullsh*t. You know what? Cindy."

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Bring these sh*t for brains to the Capital. If they're lying, let the Church flay their *sses. If they're not, let the Church kiss their *sses. I'm not paid to deal with this."

"Okay, Boss!" Cindy exclaimed. "Alright, you sluts! We're going to the Capital! Leave the venerable, charming... macho, beefy... ahem, Captain alone!" she said, with a trail of drool hanging from her mouth.

"I'm f-f-fine with that."

"I didn't need the compliment!"

"What about me? I never wanted any of this!" Ann wailed.

"Too bad, sugartits. It's a one-way trip. Get out of my office!" said the Captain, as he snapped his fingers.

The door slammed behind them as Cindy... manhandled them out and onto a carriage. Iron bars shut behind them.

"Sweet, a free ride to see the Capital!"

"John, you f*cking little sh*t! You're not the one sitting in a rotting carriage cell where..." Ann sniffed delicately. "Agh... they pissed and shat themselves."

The Priestess bounced to her feet and grabbed the sides of the carriage.

"Don't worry, Your Holiness. You've got to get used to it. We'll be on the road for weeks."

"Ah... Um... I'm just a-another Priestess. I'm n-n-not special or anything."

"That was sarcasm. Get used to it since I'm angry."

"Be nice to her Ann. Her panties just happen to be my type!" John concluded.

"I don't f*cking care about your fetishes!" Ann screamed.

"Ah... Is God really that big of a pervert?" asked the Priestess.

"No sh*t. I mean, of course he is! Wait, I never learned your name. Sorry for being rude. John's a disgusting freak! The name's Ann!" she said merrily. Her hand outstretched for a shake.

"...Um...Brittney," replied the Priestess as she accepted Ann's hand.

"Now that's some good f*cking source material! Literally!"

"Not now, John!" Ann seethed.

"Don't worry, Big Tits. I'm expressing my ideas through art!"

"Don't you dare use me, little sh*t!"

"No promises! Heheheh!!"

"If you're desecrating me, then I'll do the same to you, little sh*t!"

Ann pulled out her lyre and began setting a tune. Brittney giggled at the one-sided argument but then she leaned expectantly on the wall. A few minutes passed before a set, rhythmic melody played.

"On a high horse, little John strutted.

John fooled his people with a puppet.

But his tool soon died

And they learned he lied

So sad little John peeped and nutted!

The pervert's small dick shot quick

Like a backwards, inbred hick!

John's ugly face

Became the case

Why people always got sick!

John's stuck at home and alone

Because when he'd moan, it'd drone

In all our ears

So all our fears

Are if John could ever bone!"

Brittney laughed her lungs out, trying to breathe but she fell over. She rolled around, hammering the carriage floor with her small fists.

Ann smiled, broadly.

"Why isn't there a way to record this? This is f*cking gold! Oh, wait. I forgot it already. F*ck!"

"...It's... fine..." Brittney gasped. "So he's that disgusting?"

"Don't get me start!"

As the two women talked, the carriage began moving to the Capital. Cindy came back with her troop and supplies. Their formation was guarded against sudden monster or bandit attacks along the way.

Instead of worrying about the journey or what was to come, Brittney and Ann gossiped and complained about their lives.

They ignored the taste of their sightly burnt and raw meals or their rationed water. Bathroom business? Do women even do that?

Hell, they even ignored the screams of poor bandits being slaughtered like sheep or monsters being gutted and skinned. To them, it was a safe trip to the Capital.

And John? He leisurely ate and drank between masturbating to fantasies of lesbian orgies and drawing perverted renditions of Ann and Brittney like a true God of Pimping.

John definitely did not remember Ann's ditty and cried every time he went to sleep. Definitely. He was a God, after all.