Chapter 23: I Finally Lost You

Asa woke up.

He found himself in that inn, in the same room with the haystack by the wall, and the oil lamp on the table still remained in the state it was when he left that night. He was lying in the bed where she used to sleep, his head resting on the same straw pillow she had used. Although it must have been a long time, he could still vaguely sense her faint lingering scent. The sunlight and noise from outside streamed in; it was morning in Orford. Asa felt light and energetic, better than he had ever felt before. His hands were strong, his muscles taut, and his skin full of healthy elasticity and color. His mind was incredibly clear—he could even distinguish the voices of every orc outside.

Asa walked out of the inn, and the morning sun on the highland felt as if it could penetrate his entire body, invigorating him. The street bustled with orcs, bustling, talking, shouting—a scene full of life. The half-orc innkeeper was sitting at the door, peeling the skin off some hard, unappetizing tubers. It seemed that another group of merchants had arrived at the inn, and the innkeeper would be busy for a while. The city was full of life and peace. Asa shook his head, trying to clear it, as if the bloody memories and fear from his last moments of consciousness had just been a dream.

Fragments of memory floated back to him, like wisps of smoke from somewhere deep in his mind. During that time when he had been half-dead, though he couldn't move or speak, he had still vaguely sensed what was happening around him. Although he couldn't remember everything clearly, he knew that everything had started anew. The people around him were no longer there, and the enemies he had once misunderstood were no longer his enemies. Now, he was just alone in a strange city, and a sense of strange loneliness washed over him.

"The Mayor Theodorus asked me to tell you to go to the city hall once you woke up. He has something to say to you," the half-orc innkeeper said, glancing at him before returning his attention to the food he was handling.

"Ah? Oh," Asa nodded.

When he arrived at the city hall, Mayor Theodorus was in the middle of a meeting with the elders of various tribes, so Asa waited in the city hall. It was as busy as ever, with half-orc and human officials talking to each other or discussing documents, while a few ogres, orcs, and lizardmen were scattered among them. The cacophony of various languages filled the air, and the mixture of different appearances added to the bustling energy.

General Grutt entered with a few orcs and ogres, all of them armed and armored, seemingly his combat troops. Grutt glanced at Asa and gave him a nod before leading his men into another meeting hall.

Asa nodded back. Was this the terrifying enemy from his final memories? Suddenly, Asa recalled a story: a man once fell asleep in the mountains and dreamt, only to wake up and find that a hundred years had passed and the world had completely changed. Asa felt as though he had experienced such a dream—a century-long one.

The world had changed. But what about her?

The meeting finally ended, and City Mayor Theodorus walked out with a smile, beckoning Asa to follow him. They strolled together out onto the street.

"Has she gone back already..." Asa muttered to himself after hearing Theodorus' explanation.

Theodorus nodded and said, "Yes, she went back on her own. Back home, to get married."

Those words "on her own" seemed to sting particularly sharply. Asa didn't know whether Theodorus had deliberately said it that way, or if it was just how he had heard it. He felt as if something had struck his chest from within—a stab of pain, suffocation, and sourness that made his body tremble.

"What are your plans?" Theodorus asked, watching him.

Asa remained silent, his face expressionless. The street seemed as lively, peaceful, and full of vitality as ever. Orcs and humans of all kinds passed by, running, shouting, talking, but it all felt like an illusion, distant and irrelevant to him. He was just walking, one step at a time. Theodorus watched him quietly, walking beside him without speaking.

Finally, Asa sighed and muttered, "I want to travel, to explore different places. That's a goal I set for myself long ago."

"Oh? You don't want to go back to the capital to find her?" Theodorus asked, somewhat surprised.

It wasn't encouragement—just curiosity. Young people's feelings often couldn't be easily reined in.

"If she chose to leave on her own, she must have her own reasons. What's the point of me going after her?" Asa replied.

"Oh... A young man who already understands such things—how rare," Theodorus nodded approvingly.

"I don't know about understanding. An old man once told me, 'The world doesn't revolve around your feelings,' and I think that makes sense. She made her choice," Asa said, his mind in a fog, yet somehow speaking as though he was full of worldly wisdom.

"Hahaha!" Theodorus laughed heartily, seemingly pleased with the answer. He nodded and said, "Indeed, those who aren't entangled in personal feelings are the ones capable of accomplishing great things." He gestured toward the street like an artist showing off a masterpiece. "Tell me, what do you think of this city?"

"It's great," Asa nodded.

"But did you know, two years ago, this place was just a barren wasteland? The armies of the Einfast Empire were on the verge of wiping out the orcs from this highland. These races, who are so similar to us humans, were about to disappear from this continent forever. Their history is as long as ours, but their way of life is completely different. They clung to their primitive traditions and ancient beliefs, refusing to change or progress. As humans grew stronger, they became a weak and savage group. But look at them now." His expression changed from that of a proud father to something more solemn, filled with passion and vitality. "Look at the vitality here. Every orc is working to build this home. Have you ever seen a city with such energy? Their old beliefs and ways of life vanished with the destruction of their tribes. The survivors were all young and have grown up embracing hard work and progress, without the bitterness of hatred. Their faith is no longer in some mythical gods or ancestors, but in freedom, law, and effort. In just two years, they have built this city, and it will only grow stronger. It might even become the most powerful nation on this continent. I guide them now, but I am not their ruler. They don't need a ruler. During this founding period, I've led them, but in time, we will perfect the laws and systems so that the people here can govern themselves. A nation that believes in freedom, equality, and hard work, filled with vitality—that's the greatest kind of nation. Isn't building such a city, establishing such a country, far more interesting and meaningful than fleeting matters like love or romance?" He waved his hand with gusto, his gray hair and wrinkles doing nothing to diminish his vigor and spirit. "When compared to such great, history-changing endeavors, what do fleeting things like love even matter?"

Theodorus looked at Asa, his eyes burning with the hope and ambition of a young man. "I can tell you're capable. So, how about it? Will you join General Grutt in helping me build this country? Believe me, the joy of creating something and advancing it is unparalleled. And you're still young. Who knows, one day you might even take over and lead this nation. You could shape the entire continent's future."

"No thanks," Asa said weakly, shaking his head. "I'm not interested in big things. Right now, I just want to travel freely and have adventures."

"I misjudged you," Theodorus said, staring at him for a moment before breaking into a smile.

"What?"

"You aren't detached from personal feelings. You don't even know how to be. You have no idea how to face your emotions. You're afraid," the old man said slyly with a smile. "You're still too simple, too kind. But you know a bit too much about old men's wisdom. Ha, sometimes even when a truth is right, it's better not to know too much of it."

Asa said nothing. His mind was too muddled to even think about what Theodorus meant.

"But I suggest you return to the capital," Theodorus said, handing Asa a scroll. "This is a teleportation scroll left for you by Bishop Ronis, asking you to return once you wake up."

The capital, the Duke's mansion, the wedding—images flashed in Asa's mind. He shook his head. "I really don't want to go back there. Starting my travels now wouldn't be so bad."

"You'd better not wander around too much. The elves are still hunting for you," Theodorus added, as if remembering something. "Oh, and if you do return to the capital, be careful of Duke Murak."

"Aren't you working with him?" Asa was surprised by the warning. "Isn't he the one who's been helping you keep the construction of Orford a secret?"

Theodorus gave him a meaningful look and said, "Just be careful. I heard about your story in the swamp from Elaine. It seems like you're the soldier who escaped from General Grutt, right?"

Asa nodded.

Theodorus said, "In the past two years, we've probably silenced nearly a thousand people, and you're the only one who managed to escape from General Grutt. Grutt has been busy preparing for war recently, but he wanted me to tell you that, although last time was a misunderstanding, it was a very interesting fight. He hopes to have the opportunity to face you again."

Asa smiled bitterly, "I didn't find it interesting at all, and I definitely don't want that opportunity again."

Theodorus patted Asa on the shoulder and said, "Alright, go back now. I have work to do."

"I told you, I'm not going back..." Asa muttered.

He was determined not to return, but he found that his heart was empty and lacked any strength.

A few days later, in the teleportation array at the Empire's Royal Academy of Magic, a flash of blue light appeared.

As the blue and white magic glow around him faded, Asa realized that in the blink of an eye, he had gone from the wilderness to the teleportation array inside the academy.

He was back.

Walking out of the academy, Asa stared blankly at the familiar streets of the capital. He had felt this way for some time—lost. It was as if a part of him was missing, leaving a hollow, uncomfortable sensation inside, while at the same time, something was blocking him, making him uneasy. Although he had already decided to travel, he had no idea where to go. He had wandered in the wilderness for a few days, and after waking up from a lonely nap in the woods, he had suddenly and inexplicably taken out the teleportation scroll and used it.

"I'm back again." Asa walked back to Sandru's house and pushed open the door. This was his home in the capital.

Old man Sandru was still busy with corpses, as if that was the only thing he ever did. Seeing Asa return, he didn't seem surprised at all. He glanced at him a few times and said, "Why do you seem so listless this time?"

Asa looked at Sandru's indistinct face, covered in both beard and hair, and shook his head, saying, "Because I remembered I still have to work here, so I'm not in the mood."

His heart still felt hollow and uncomfortable. Perhaps staying here for a while might make him feel better. Asa missed the simple life he used to have here with Sandru.

"Oh?" Sandru looked a bit surprised. "There are very few young people with this much integrity nowadays. I had almost forgotten about it. I heard you got beaten half to death trying to steal that book out west? Luckily, I've already gotten the book. Considering how professional and reliable you are, I'll forget the debt of work you owe me. You're free now. Go do whatever you want."

Do whatever I want? Asa stared blankly.

"Oh, and give me back that work robe." Sandru waved his hand and glanced at him. "Now I realize that this thing on you might be a bit dangerous."

Asa took off the robe and handed it to him. Sandru spread the legendary top-tier defensive garment on the table and casually placed a few severed limbs on top of it.

For the first time in his life, Asa spent money at a shop in the capital to buy himself some clothes. He didn't know how to choose, so without saying much, he simply handed over a gleaming gold coin. Naturally, the shop owner and assistants rushed to help him. After putting on the clothes, he even let them brush his hair and clean his face at the shop owner's insistence. When he looked in the mirror, he was quite surprised. He had no idea he could look like this—almost as dashing as the young noble knights.

Suddenly, Asa remembered the appointment documents from the bishop and the duke, which Theodorus had returned to him. It seemed he should return those to them. Without thinking too much, he slowly found himself standing before the duke's mansion.

After being announced, Duke Murak himself came out to greet him at the door, still with that same friendly, kind smile on his face. There was no sign of his aide, Knight Clovis. With the duke's worldly experience, he naturally knew which people shouldn't meet in certain situations.

"I've been waiting for you. I must properly thank you for rescuing my daughter from those kidnappers," the duke said, leading Asa into the mansion. Though he was still smiling brightly, his mind was in turmoil.

The fact that his daughter had returned on her own before the wedding reassured him greatly. Although she hadn't said much about what happened while she was away, the duke had pieced together that the young man had likely reached Orford City, which meant he might have already realized that it was the duke who had been keeping the city's construction a secret. What if he revealed the truth? What should be done? It was difficult to deceive him again, especially after lying to him once already. Should he kill him to silence him? No, angering the bishop would lead to even worse consequences. But how could he handle this? And on top of it all, this opponent seemed impervious to both power and wealth. The duke had initially mistaken this young man for someone infatuated with his younger daughter, but it was clear now that this wasn't the case. As for his older daughter, who had chased after him, she had returned with a look that suggested something had happened. But she was about to be married—there was no way to bet on both sides...

Compared to the duke's swirling thoughts and worries, Asa felt like a piece of wood. He followed the duke through the mansion, which was as luxurious and beautiful as ever. Servants bustled about, decorating and arranging everything, filling the place with joy and festivity.

"Father, my sister's wedding dress is ready for her fitting. Please come and have a look." Christine came running over from the front, looking a little surprised when she saw Asa. She stared at him curiously, her eyes scanning him up and down.

"Why don't you come take a look too? My daughter owes it all to you that she's here today," the duke invited Asa.

Hearing the duke's words, Asa suddenly felt something strange—an odd sense of realization. He finally understood why he had subconsciously returned, why he had unknowingly walked to the duke's mansion. It was all to see her.

Following the duke down a short hallway, Asa felt as if every step was the hardest, most heart-pounding one he had ever taken. With each step, he could hear his heartbeat, as if his blood were being pushed up to his head, surging forward with every beat.

Finally, after turning a corner, he saw her.

She was no longer in her dirty adventurer's garb but wore a pure white wedding dress, like a goddess from a myth. Her thick, black hair was beautifully styled, no longer carelessly tied up. Her face had a light layer of blush, her eyebrows slightly touched up—she had never looked so beautiful.

Boom. Asa felt his empty chest suddenly fill up. So that's what had been missing—her.

She saw Asa. At first, she looked shocked, unable to believe her eyes. Then a blush spread across her cheeks, making the makeup look pale in comparison. Though she tried to control herself, her eyes shone with emotion, and her body trembled slightly.

It seemed as if the emptiness he had felt for so long was being filled all at once. The feeling wasn't just fullness—it was a raging storm, a torrent of emotions crashing into each other, on the verge of bursting out. Seeing the light in her eyes made his heart ache, as if it were being cut by a knife.

Just one word from her, one step, one action, one glance, and he would rush to her side. The storm in his chest was about to explode. It didn't matter if this was the duke's mansion—even if it were the royal palace or a battlefield, with a thousand soldiers and endless danger, he would draw his sword and take her away. What life was, what the world was—it didn't matter.

But in the end, she controlled herself. She blinked, and the light in her eyes disappeared. All traces of emotion faded, and she gave him a polite bow, smiling slightly, as if he were just another guest.

Asa could hear the sound of his internal organs shattering, crushed by the tidal wave in his chest.

The duke's sharp eyes flickered between the two of them. With his keen understanding of human emotions, he saw everything clearly.

"My dear daughter is the most beautiful bride in the world." No one could tell what the duke was really thinking, but he perfectly portrayed the doting father of a bride. He embraced his daughter with fatherly love and kissed her on the cheek. "Take your time preparing. I have some business to discuss with Mr. Asa."

"Come with me," the duke said, patting Asa on the shoulder.

Absently, Asa followed the duke like a soulless automaton into a room. The duke personally closed the doors and windows. Asa then realized that this seemed to be the duke's bedroom.

A bedroom is a place for sleeping. A person usually only relaxes completely while sleeping, which is why a bedroom is considered the true home, a genuine "nest," a place that truly belongs to oneself. This most private space is absolutely not used for receiving guests casually. If it is used for such a purpose, there can only be two possibilities: either there are no other places available, which is impossible for the duke's residence, or it is meant for discussing the most personal and secret matters.

The duke looked at Asa and said, "Elaine is getting married the day after tomorrow. She will be marrying the son of a marquis from the Ernie family, Knight Claudius." Strangely, the warm smile that was his trademark had vanished from his face, replaced by a cold indifference.

Asa responded with a blank expression and an emotionless "oh," indicating that he understood.

"But Elaine doesn't like him, in fact, she almost hates him. He doesn't like her either. But they still have to get married. Do you know why?"

"I don't know," Asa replied almost reflexively, still in a daze.

"Because of power. After my marriage alliance with the Ernie family, it will greatly benefit the power of both sides, especially me. My position and real power in the court will take off because of this opportunity. You've been to Orford, seen that orc city; do you know why I took such great risks to agree to help them with the news blockade about building the city?"

Even in his dazed state, Asa was somewhat surprised by the duke's frankness. He shook his head, "I don't know."

"Again, it's because of power. The establishment of Orford City will have a huge impact on the empire. With my marriage to the Ernie family, I can ride the political waves that arise and soar to greater heights. I could even be someone who is not just below one but above ten thousand." The subtle light in the duke's eyes resembled that of a hawk, something no one had ever seen before. "But do you know why I am so obsessed with power? Why I crave it so much?"

"I don't know." Asa was somewhat shocked; he could sense the unusual depth in the duke's words.

The duke looked into Asa's eyes and spoke in a voice as sharp as a knife, completely different from his usual gentle tone: "Because I once watched helplessly as the woman I loved was taken away by someone else. And that person might not even be worth my little finger."

"I was younger than you, free and carefree, roaming the world alone, dominating the battlefield, drinking and singing with abandon. I loved a woman, and she loved me too. I thought I could protect the woman by my side with just my sword, that I wouldn't have to worry about anything else in this world. But unfortunately, this world isn't just for two people. She had to become a noble's concubine to protect her family's status and interests, and in the end, she died due to being caught up in a war. It was then that I realized that in this society made up of countless people, individual power is negligible; only power itself is strength in this society. So I have been climbing upward, faster and higher than anyone else."

Asa looked at this person who had always seemed so deep and calm, astonished. The passion and fervor in the duke's eyes rivaled those of the most fanatic zealots.

The duke's expression overflowed with genuine emotion and vibrant life, something that no amount of acting could mimic. A clumsy fool, once he expressed his true feelings and excitement, could move others emotionally even if he couldn't convince them with logic. Not to mention that the duke was certainly no fool.

"I can see that Elaine really likes you. She is my daughter, and I know her well. I can also see that you like her very much. I see my former shadow in you. But this marriage cannot be changed; it is tied to political struggles and may involve the lives of countless people. At this point, there is no room for personal feelings."

The duke's gaze locked onto Asa's eyes, filled with sadness, pity, and authority, resembling that of a martyr. "Do you feel painful? Sad? Feel powerless? Do you want me to tell you how to overcome this pain?"

Asa stared blankly at the duke, listening.

The duke extended his hand. "Join me. You are capable and promising. I have revealed all my secrets to you; you can ride the upcoming storm with me and rise to the top. Only by gaining the greatest power and standing at the pinnacle of this society can you stop being controlled by it and instead control it. Then you can allow your feelings to transcend society. You can obtain everything you've ever wanted without enduring this kind of pain. You are luckier than I am; you might even reclaim what you have lost."

Genuine emotion is the most precious thing in anyone's heart. The deeper and more worldly a person is, the less likely they are to reveal it easily. But only someone who can even use this most precious thing as a means of communication is truly a master of political maneuvering.

No one is unmoved by another's genuine display of emotion, especially when that passion resonates with words hidden deep in their hearts.

The duke saw something ignite in the young man's eyes before him.

No young person can be immune to love, nor can any young person be insulated from the ambition to conquer the world. And when these two elements combine, it is enough to make the youthful elements in their blood boil, burn, and even self-ignite.

But with a long sigh, the flame in the young man's eyes was extinguished.

Asa pressed the duke's inviting hand back, saying, "Forget it. I think it's better to live a little easier. Besides, she… wouldn't want me to do this. I'm truly touched to hear your heartfelt words. Please rest assured, I will never tell anyone anything."

He fled, not daring to glance at her room again. He was afraid that if he looked at her one more time, he would recklessly agree to the duke.

He hurriedly turned a corner and collided with someone. He was just about to step aside when that person joyfully exclaimed, embracing him warmly.