I'm GoldenEyeing that planet, thank you very much!

Yui clapped her hands, her cheerful demeanor momentarily replaced by a serious expression. "Okay, team meeting!" she announced, her voice echoing through the throne room. "Before we proceed with our multiversal domination tour, there's something... important we need to address."

Naofumi and Alana arrived first, their expressions curious. Kirito and Asuna sauntered in moments later, Asuna yaned and then sat on her throne, then levitated above it in a relaxed position.

"Alright, spill it, kiddo," Kirito said, leaning back in his throne, a flicker of amusement dancing in his eyes. "What kind of world-ending problem have you uncovered now?"

Yui cleared her throat, her gaze fixed on Naofumi. "So, about the Shit-Goddess... Turns out she's been pulling alternate versions of Naofumi into this world for centuries. Along with a few other heroes. Each one technically the same person, just… with different experiences, different traumas."

Naofumi's brow furrowed in confusion. "Alternate versions of me? What do you mean?"

"Parallel worlds, alternate timelines, whatever you want to call them," Yui explained, her voice taking on a more analytical tone. "Think of it like… a really messed up multiverse where the Shit-Goddess got to play with action figures of you and a few other unlucky souls. Over and over again. Just to watch you suffer."

"That sounds… incredibly disturbing," Alana said, her voice laced with a mix of disgust and sympathy.

Yui nodded. "It is. Anyway, since Naofumi needs a divinity to really kick ass on a multiversal scale, and I can't just give him one…" She paused, a mischievous glint entering her eyes. "I was thinking we could use these alternate Naofumis. They've gone through, let's say, way too much trauma. We could extract their experiences, their pain, their… essence, and use it to grant Naofumi the Recursion, Death, and Time domains. Whaddya say, Naofumi? Want super time powers and a side of traumatic memories?"

Naofumi, still reeling from the revelation of his alternate selves and the sheer absurdity of the situation, could only manage a bewildered nod.

Yui beamed. "Good! Brace yourself, this is gonna be… kinda shitty!"

"Language!" her parents shouted in unison, their voices laced with a mix of exasperation and amusement.

Yui pouted. "But I keep calling the Shit-Goddess by her title, why can't I—"

"Because it's a name that the THING earned by opposing you!" Asuna declared, her voice firm. "If you curse, it should be for a reason!"

"Fair point," Yui conceded, her pout fading into a thoughtful frown. Then, with a decisive clap of her hands, she unleashed a torrent of emotions upon Naofumi.

Agony. Despair. Rage. Hopelessness.

The experiences of countless alternate Naofumis, each one bearing the scars of betrayal, manipulation, and unimaginable suffering, slammed into him with the force of a tidal wave. His senses overloaded, his mind reeling, his very soul trembling under the onslaught of emotions that weren't his own, yet somehow, were intrinsically connected to him. As the memories coalesced, as his soul merged with the fragments of his alternate selves, a single, overwhelming thought emerged from the chaos.

FIND RAPHTALIA.

Naofumi stood before the imposing, high-tech table in the throne room, his hands clenched into fists. The influx of memories, the sheer volume of pain and suffering he'd absorbed, had left him reeling. But through the chaos, one thought burned bright, a beacon of hope amidst the darkness.

Raphtalia.

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to focus. "Can you find Raphtalia?! You need to do this! Please!" he asked, his voice strained with urgency.

"Tone, please," Yui chided gently, her expression softening. "But yes, I can certainly locate this world's version of Raphtalia. She's currently residing in civilian housing. She won't be the one you remember from those... merged memories, but I can rectify that. What do you think of the Attack, Life, Loyalty, and Cutting domains for her?"

Naofumi, his mind still consumed by the echoes of a thousand shattered lives, could only manage a choked "Please."

Alana, who had been watching the exchange with growing bewilderment, finally snapped. "Hold on! What the hell is going on here?!" she demanded, her voice laced with a mix of confusion and irritation. "Who is this 'Raphtalia' person, and why does she get special treatment? And what are these 'domains' you keep talking about?!"

Yui, with a sigh of exasperation, launched into an explanation, weaving a tale of alternate realities, stolen divinities, and the twisted machinations of a now-deceased but incredibly malicious goddess. It sounded like something out of a fantastical book series - one that, ironically, didn't exist in this dimension because these events were the reality here. The irony was entirely lost on Alana and everyone in the room.

It took hours, even with Yui's ability to accelerate the flow of information, but eventually, Alana grasped the situation. Mostly.

"So, let me get this straight," she said, her voice tight with barely concealed jealousy. "There's this other girl, this 'Raphtalia,' who's apparently super important to Naofumi because of some alternate reality bullshit. And now you're going to give her superpowers and make her even more special? And what about me, huh? I've been by Naofumi's side through thick and thin, and I get nothing?"

Yui, with a patient sigh, explained, "Don't worry, Alana! I've got something special planned for you too! Trust me, you won't be disappointed."

"Fine," Alana grumbled, still not entirely convinced.

With a snap of Yui's fingers, a young girl with light auburn hair, tanuki ears, and an extremely malnourished appearance materialized beside Naofumi. She looked confused, disoriented, her eyes darting around the room with a mixture of fear and curiosity. Her once-bright eyes held a dullness, a lingering shadow of the trauma she had endured under the previous regime.

Another snap, and the girl's eyes widened, her entire body trembling as a torrent of memories flooded her mind. She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth, as the experiences of countless alternate Raphtalias, each one bearing the scars of slavery, loss, and a desperate yearning for freedom, surged through her. Her form shimmered, her features sharpening, her body filling out as the combined essence of her alternate selves coalesced within her. She was no longer the frail, timid girl who had cowered in the shadows. She was Raphtalia, warrior, protector, and now… a being of immense power.

Yui's expression turned somber, her usual cheerful demeanor replaced by a gentle sympathy. "I'm sorry to tell you, Naofumi, but Filo and Raph-chan don't exist in this world," she said softly. "And sadly, the likelihood of any eggs producing them from the confiscated monster stock is- well, infinitely close to zero at this point. Your other companions they're lost, and I can't fix that without certain domains I don't yet possess. It might take a few hundred years to acquire them, so- You're stuck with two loving demi-human ladies who definitely want to date you, and then marry you. So, a nice consolation prize is right in front of you!"

Naofumi gave a noncommittal grunt, a mix of disappointment and resignation on his face. But then, a softer expression took over, and he looked at Alana and Raphtalia, a genuine gratitude shining in his eyes. "Thanks, Yui," he said, his voice quiet but sincere. "This means a lot to me."

"Now, for the slightly less good news," Yui continued, her voice regaining its usual bubbly energy. "Without the powerful memories to produce levels and a strong body, Alana won't be able to handle the influx of divinities required to serve as one of us yet." She paused, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "But I have a plan! I've found a relatively crap-sack world with rulers who will fold to anyone sufficiently powerful. Originally, an autistic isekai'd individual was supposed to land there with a smartphone and overpowered cheats. But I've come to an agreement with the lesser kami overseeing that world to send you there instead."

She leaned forward conspiratorially. "Just keep in mind that the rulers there tend to turn into terrified sycophants if you display enough power. You should be able to take over a few kingdoms before we arrive. And when you're ready to greet us, we'll give Alana some shiny new divinities, and you'll be our administrator for that world! Sound fun?"

Naofumi nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, I guess." He looked at Alana and Raphtalia, a new determination hardening his gaze. "Ready for another adventure?"

Alana grinned, her ears twitching excitedly. "As long as I get to smash some skulls, I'm in!"

Raphtalia, her newly acquired memories and powers settling within her, simply nodded, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword. She was ready for anything.

With a casual wave of Yui's hand, space tore open, revealing a swirling vortex of colors and energy. Naofumi, Raphtalia, and Alana stepped through the portal, their forms disappearing into the unknown.

Kirito clapped his hands together, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. "Okay, where to?"

"Let's find out!" Yui exclaimed, pulling a shimmering token from her pocket—the one she had acquired in exchange for Malty and Aultcray's worthless souls.

The cluster of worlds attached to the Shield Hero world, their forms warped and distorted by Yui's divine power, shifted through the void, appearing in geostationary orbit around a blue and green planet that looked strangely familiar. The transition was seamless, instantaneous, and utterly defied the laws of physics.

"Well, this makes absolutely no physical or scientific sense," Asuna remarked, her voice laced with a blend of amusement and awe, "but yeah, I'm floating in mid-air using only mind power. Magic. Totally crazy."

They stepped out of the Citadel, their forms shimmering as they adapted to the new environment. Yui, her senses amplified by her divinity, frowned.

"Ooh," she said, her voice tinged with disappointment. "The internet here is extremely primitive. Seems like an alternate Earth, circa 1995! There's a lot of chatter about some jerkbag who looks like the actor Sean Bean in his early career aiming a superweapon satellite at Earth. He wants to blow it up, apparently."

Kirito's face darkened, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "But I WANT that Earth," he whined, his voice taking on a mock-petulant tone. "It's my Earth. The one that belongs to me, you, and Asuna! Supervillains can't have it, and they certainly can't break it!"

With an aim that only a god could possess, Kirito plucked a small pebble from the ground. With a flick of his wrist, he launched the pebble towards the offending satellite. A massive shockwave rippled through the atmosphere as the pebble, imbued with Kirito's divine power, collided with the satellite, reducing it to a cloud of metal fragments.

"Nice throw," Asuna commented, a smirk playing on her lips.

"Good arm," Yui added, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Kirito grinned, the predatory gleam returning to his eyes. "Now, then," he said, his voice laced with a dangerous excitement, "let's go introduce ourselves to this Sean Bean-looking fellow. I have a feeling we're going to have a very enlightening conversation."