Dating and Debating

"Ugggghhh! Again! Really!... I'm really over these guys telling me everything I want to hear only to ghost me.. it's not like I'm easy or unattractive? It just doesn't make sense!"

My whole life I have always dreamed of the this giant romantic white wedding! In a whimsical garden of roses, peonies and sunflowers! Sun catchers! Bird baths and wind chimes! And of course Mr. fantastic, but unfortunately that has not been the case.

25 years old and failed marriage! What an accomplishment! I was sure at the age of 8 falling in love with the neighbor boy that we would be together forever, except his parents wouldn't let him date a black girl!

Then again at 16 I met a wonderful mate! He was black and we were in love I just knew it! Until

He told me he preferred to be with someone white because he was going into politics and it just made him look more interesting!

Great!

Then again when I was 21 I met an Italian man name Grigio! We had the best time together traveling and conversations! I guess you could say I learned the most from him. Grigio was a manly man and he let it be known! He took care of me and loved me more than I ever hoped to experience! But sometimes good things must come to an end! Grigio found out on a family trip to Italy that he needed a kidney transplant, unfortunately including myself there were no matching donors and within 2 years I lost the love I thought I would have forever!

Mourning is an understatement! I've spent the last 4 years dealing with his passing. It wasn't until this last year I had a break through and I decided to get back out there again!

I had this strange dream!

Grigio and I were in our favorite park sitting on a bright blue blanket! He looked at me, cupped my face and whispered in my ear .. "I will always be here! Sometimes angels have limited time here on this earth, but forever live in our hearts!"

Reflecting on that moment brought peace again! As if I was in his arms!

Then soon after came the anger and hurt for the lord taking him away! Why would god do this to me? Doesn't he understand how much we need each other in this time!

However I don't really have time for these thoughts! I've got to hurry and finish curling my 22 inch extensions and squeeze myself into the tightest dress before heading into work!

At 25 I'm pretty established! I work for a popular magazine! And I get paid to embrace all my black girl magic! But today I need to be hot and dangerous our big boss is in town and every time he is here, I become his errand girl and I was told that big boss likes high fashion!

I'm working hard to get and stay in his good graces because there is the senior editing position coming up! And I've put in extra effort to receive it!