Flashback X

"Come on, please?" Howard begged.

"I'd love to but I have an almost two-year-old daughter who is incredibly fussy when mommy doesn't sing her a lullaby at bedtime. Or if daddy doesn't make aeroplane noises when feeding her baby food; and I've tried everything to get her off the bottle but the only thing that works is Sheldon making aeroplane noises while feeding her mushy green beans or bananas or whatever the heck that gloop is," Penny explained with a sour face toward the end. "Why not just ask Alicia and her fiancé to double; they introduced you."

"I did, but they're both working."

"Why not just go by yourself," Sheldon suggests walking into the living room from the second bedroom that he and Penny had turned into a nursery.

Howard looked at the taller man, "Are you nuts, this is basically a blind date, I know nothing about this girl other than the fact that she is Alicia's friend and she wants to meet me."

Sheldon shrugs, "Seems like significant information to start with. Besides all dates are basically blind dates. I met Penny through a mutual friend and I believe the first thing she said to me was about my buddy kissing her best friend. Isn't that right, dear?" Sheldon smirked at his wife. Penny blushed.

Penny recovered and told Howard, "Just go out with her, and have fun and be yourself, but for God's sakes don't break or set anything on fire," she joked.

Howard nodded, "You're right. What do I have to lose? I mean if Raj can get a girl I can too. And it's not embarrassing anymore because I don't live with my mom." Howard said trying to psych himself up.

In Howard's car, it was an awkward drive, with both occupants staring straight ahead and no conversation being made, until Howard decided the silence was getting to him, "So, Alicia tells me you're working as a waitress to put yourself through grad school. That's pretty great, what are you studying?"

"Microbiology," Bernadette said in a high-squeaky voice.

Howard found her adorable, her voice reminded him of Betty Boop. She looked incredible, and she was a doctoral candidate; which meant she was smart, but this date was really slow-moving, to begin with. "Oh, cool. So you could study me," he joked.

"I don't understand," Bernadette said turning toward him.

"Well, microbiology is the study of tiny living things," Howard explained. "I know, I'm studying it." She told him matter-of-factly.

Howard chuckled, "And I said you could study me 'cause… I'm a tiny living thing. It's a joke." Bernadette raised a questioning eyebrow, "Are you sure?"

Howard sighed, and tried a different subject, "Do you like science fiction?" Bernadette shook her head. "No."

"Role-playing games?" Howard tried.

"Like in the bedroom or like Dungeons and Dragons?" Howard perked up a little, "Either."

"No."

Howard sighed, it was still 10 minutes until they got to the restaurant, and he decided to just turn on the radio instead. This is why he wanted Penny and Sheldon to come along; a married couple could show him how to initiate conversation and fill the awkward dead air.

Once at the restaurant, they ordered and Howard tried to strike up a conversation again. "How about computers? Do you like computers?"

Bernadette wiped her mouth with a cloth napkin before answering, "I use them. I don't like them." Howard sighed, "Okay… puppies? Where do you stand on puppies?"

Bernadette made a face, "A puppy once bit my face."

Howard rolls his eyes, "Of course it did," he said as an aside. He was about to ask another question when his phone vibrated, "Excuse me," he looked at his phone and cursed, "Oh, damn. It's my mother." He let it vibrate.

Bernadette looks at her date curiously, "Aren't you going to answer it?"

Howard shrugged, "I'm torn. She might be dying, and, you know, I wouldn't want to miss that. On the other hand, if I let it go to voicemail, I could play it over and over." He smiles.

Bernadette nods and smiles, maybe her date with the engineer wasn't a dud after all, "I know how you feel. My mother makes me crazy."

Howard tuts, "Not as crazy as my mother makes me."

Bernadette smirks in challenge, "Oh, yeah? Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?"

Howard scoffs, "My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement," he laughs.

"Okay, well, does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning like you're nine years old?" Bernadette tries to one-up him.

Howard is taken aback momentarily, "You live with your mother?"

"No. That's the sad part," Bernadette tells him flatly, as she spears steamed broccoli with her fork.

Howard winces in empathy. His mother still buys his clothes, but even she doesn't lay out his clothes for him. "Ooh, rough. Okay, check this out," he finds it oddly cute that the thing they're bonding over is their overly-involved mothers, "My mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn't pick up a disease from the other children."

Bernadette rolls her eyes, and shakes her head slightly, "That's nothing. I couldn't ride a bicycle 'cause my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity."

Howard chuckles, "Oh, wow…" Maybe he had more freedom from his mother than he originally thought, then after a moment leans in and asks, "You didn't, did you?"

Bernadette giggles, "Not on a bicycle. In a Camry," she blushes.

Howard is happily surprised, "Corolla!" He exclaims as he pats his chest twice. Bernadette giggles again, "Oh, really?"

He nods before offering her more wine, "More wine?" Bernadette smiles, "I'd love some."

Howard refills her glass and tops his off too. "Listen, you have to come to Shabbat dinner at my house sometime."

Bernadette sips her newly filled wine glass before asking, "Why?"

Howard laughs softly, "Come on, a Catholic girl like you wearing a big cross like that," he points to her gold necklace with the end of his fork, "might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for."

She agrees, but also counters with, "Okay, but only if you come to Sunday dinner at my house wearing a yarmulke."

Howard smiles broadly as he finishes up his Tri-tip steak, "It's a date."

"You know, it's weird," Penny muses as she watches Sheldon feed Charlotte. "What is?"

"Well, I gave birth to her and was the only parent she saw for months, yet you are somehow her favourite."

Sheldon chuckles as he spoons another mouthful of apple sauce into Charlotte's waiting little mouth. "It's not that unusual, I mean I've heard stories about you from your dad about when you were about nine to about the time you got your first period, you were quite the daddy's girl. I mean isn't that why he calls you 'Slugger'?"

Penny blushed. "I knew those stories were gonna come back and bite me eventually."

"Well, if you want someone who'll worship you, we could always try for a boy," Sheldon grinned at her.

"Are you saying you want another one?"

"I'm saying I really like," Sheldon puts down the apple sauce and the spoon and covers Charlotte's ears, "having sex with my sexy wife," he drops his hands from his daughter's ears only to have her giggle and tell him, "Daddy funny!"

Penny smirks, "All right Lieutenant, tonight. We turn Charlotte's radio one way and you go to town on me, and if we get another girl I'll know it's you."

Sheldon gives Penny an amused cock of his brow.

"Don't give me that look, I may have not paid much attention in high school science, but I remember how Punnett squares work."

Sheldon chuckles, "I look forward to it, and look on the bright side, if child number two is a girl; we can keep trying, and trying, and trying."

Penny laughs, then ponders her husband's suggestion, "Hmm, five kids, huh? You know given how I was as a teenager I sort of want a house full of girls now. I imagine you'd be scaring off an endless stream of boyfriends with your whole tough Marine schtick."

"Schtick? You call being a highly-decorated member of the U.S. military a schtick?" He pauses momentarily, "That's it, I was gonna be nice and gentle, but clearly you need to be punished."

Penny grins up at him.

"And while we're still marginally on the subject of children, what are we going to do for Charlotte's birthday?" Sheldon asks steering the subject away from what he intends to do with Penny later.

She shrugs, "I don't know, she's two, it's not like she'll remember much of it. We can invite our family and friends and try to have a kid-friendly adult party."

"What exactly is that?"

"I don't know… we can have alcohol but, no offering it to the kids," Penny tried.

"So… no hot toddies, then?" Sheldon says as he spoons the last of Charlotte's apple sauce to her. Penny laughs, "No, absolutely not… unless one's teething—and thank God that's over with."

Sheldon remembers Charlotte's teething vividly but at the beginning of her life, he can't because he wasn't there for it. He walks over and takes Penny in his arms, "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help with Charlotte when you had her," he said softly, solemnly.

Penny pulled back slightly and looked up at her husband, "It's not your fault, you have a job to do and while I wish it was peacetime, I knew what I was getting myself into when I got involved with a Marine."

"Are you really up for having a large family with someone like me? You know all of my secrets— possibly aside from Michael—all of my responsibilities, and all of my shortcomings. I realise that Charlotte is our first but to continue to have children after what you went through, we may need more help and/or space than this apartment can provide."

Penny cups her husband's cheek, and looks into his blue eyes, "Honey, I would gladly go through hell and back so long as I'm with you. Building a life with you is one of the easiest decisions I've ever made, and that includes any more children we may have. I want you to never worry about your abilities as a parent because you have me, we will make mistakes but we will learn, we will adapt, and we will love. Because you know why?" Sheldon shakes his head, she smiles, "Because Dr. Marine, I love you and I love what you stand for. I know it wasn't easy for you to lose your dad so early especially when you were just getting to really know him, and then go on an entirely different path from what you were comfortable with but you did. And because of that stubborn, never-say-never attitude, I know that with your brains and your sense of loyalty, our kids and I won't have to worry about you, so you don't need to worry about us. All you need to do is come

back to us." She smiles at him.

Sheldon leaned down and cupped his wife's cheek and kissed her, he still doesn't know what he did to earn this woman's undying love but, he'll never question it. They are interrupted by Charlotte's exclamation of, "Mommy, daddy yucky!" They break apart and chuckle for momentarily forgetting their daughter was present and being called out on it. Charlotte's actually been doing that more and more since she began to talk.

Sheldon picks up Charlotte and tries to burp her, "You should be grateful, if we didn't kiss you wouldn't be here."

"Sheldon! Ixnay on the onception-cay ory-stay." Penny admonishes him as she blushes. Sheldon laughs.

On the drive back to the apartment, Howard couldn't believe that this woman wanted to see his place. He was glad he no longer lived with his mother; but despite bonding over their shared hatred of their mother's meddling in their lives, Howard knows he isn't ready for Bernadette to meet his mother just yet.

When it came down to it, even though he hated how involved his mom was in his life, Howard is glad she still is. After his father abandoned them when he was 11, all he had was his mom. He remembers living in Section 8 public housing because his father didn't leave them with much money, being on food stamps, and his mom working two jobs just to make sure they had enough to get by. It was because of what he went through that he worked hard to be able to later provide for his mom. He studied and worked his butt off through high school to earn a full ride to MIT—he actually cried the day he received his MIT Scholarship packet. The day he received his letter he told his mom to treat herself to something nice, he was going to be just fine. He didn't know she would end up buying a house with the amount of money she had saved up for him to go to college

—the same house he had lived in, up until recently.

He knows that some people think of him as somewhat sex-crazed, but really that is an act. A pretty bad one if he was honest with himself. It's a defence mechanism, to ensure that people think he's a player rather than deathly afraid of being alone or abandoned. He knows for making him feel like that; if he ever does meet his father he'd kick him in the balls, rather than run into his arms and weep.

While he acts outwardly with what he thinks is a certain level of suaveness around women; unlike Leonard—his former friend—he doesn't just want them to be a trophy nor does he want them to fit a particular accepted look; his mother raised him better than that. He wants a woman that likes him for his loyalty, intelligence, and his unique brand of humour. He has seen what true love looks like in his neighbours in 4A, he wants that. And it appears that he may have found it in a tiny, blonde microbiologist.

When they made it to the fourth-floor landing he stopped, rethinking this, "Maybe this isn't such a good idea… why don't I take you up to see Alicia, she is probably home by now," he offered instead.

"Oh come on, Howard, unless you have actual skeletons in your closet, I'm not gonna freak. I've seen my share of bachelor pads," Bernadette cajoles.

Howard sighs, "Okay…," he sticks in his key and opens the door, "Welcome then to Chez Wolowitz."

Bernadette had been expecting the worst, but apart from a pair of lightsabers on the wall, a large vintage Neil Diamond poster that was framed, and a signed 8x10 picture of Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia holding a space blaster, it was fairly normal. The furniture included a blue couch with various throw pillows and a couple of IKEA chairs, a glass coffee table that was shaped like a guitar pick and an entertainment centre with a large flat screen and an Xbox 360 with several controllers. She saw a desk in the far corner stacked with blueprints, next to an asymmetrical bookcase with nine cubby holes, filled with various books and DVDs. "This isn't so bad, I've seen much worse. At least you're fairly neat."

Howard let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Can I offer you some coffee? That's not a euphemism, we both finished that bottle so I don't want you to get a headache tomorrow."

Bernadette smiled, "That's sweet. Sure, a dollop of cream and one sugar, please."

He smiled, "Coming right up. Make yourself at home," he told her as he headed for the kitchen.

Flashback

April 2006

"So how does it feel to be field promoted to Staff Sergeant?" Michael asked. "A bit weird if I'm honest. I was not expecting it," Sheldon admitted.

"Expect it or not, you deserve it. Your strategy of hitting the ammo depots and using snipers has helped us close in on the city. Not to mention you saved Ramirez and Anthony from insurgent gunfire last week. I swear you could probably be blindfolded and still hit all your targets."

"I could, but in this particular target-rich environment I'd rather not find out if that's possible."

Michael laughed. "Never a dull moment with you around, is there Doc?" Michael asks rhetorically. "We're clearing Sector 12 today, you know it honestly pisses me off we can't just level this city and be done with it."

"Clarke, you realise the strategic importance of the city, right? Levelling it does us no good." "Yeah yeah…"

Sheldon turned to look at his best friend then and grabbed his shoulder, "I hate that we're so close to the place where I almost lost my brother. That day in '04 was my worst nightmare. I swear to God, Mikey if you earn another Goddamn Purple Heart I'm gonna kick your ass."

Michael laughed. "Okay fair enough. But I reserve the right to kill any asshole that even dares touch you."

"That's a deal I can live with because what are we?" "A two-man wrecking crew."

"Advance! Left! Watch the roof!" Sheldon yells as they advance through Sector 12 of the city. This area was known by US Army personnel as Sniper Alley West due to its high-rise buildings which were prime sniper nests. They were clearing an insurgent stronghold today—or at least hoping to disrupt it. Fierce fighting from block to block was how they were going to do it.

Sheldon took his men up along the side of a building that had an awning which provided minimal overhead protection from enemy snipers. Their goal was a two-story abandoned general store three blocks from their current location. As his group advanced slowly, returning sporadic cover fire, he saw it. Their first big break. "Reese, you see that white hatchback?" Sheldon turned to his subordinate, and the Corporal nodded, "Think you can grenade launch that car from here?"

Reese stuck his head out just enough to get a better view, then smiled, "Not a problem, Doc."

Sheldon nods, "Good, do it now! Suppression fire!" He ordered the rest of the men. A brief round of suppression fire followed as Reese launched a grenade toward the car. Upon impact, it exploded, and with it six bodies flew out from behind it.

"Holy shit!" Reese exclaimed.

"No time to be impressed, Reese, move up!"

They move up two more blocks. As they neared their target, Sheldon sees Michael taking out two insurgents coming out of an alley. That clears the rest of the way since gunfire and movement from the other side have stopped.

Once they breached the general store, Sheldon took stock of their current situation, "Everybody okay? All ten fingers, all ten toes, no sudden lacerations that would require stitches?"

They laugh, "I thought you weren't that kind of doctor, Staff Sergeant?" Anthony asks with a laugh.

"I'm not, but as Corporal Clarke can attest I have dabbled in a tiny bit of field medicine. Plus, stitching is just a form of sewing but instead of cloth, you're doing so with skin."

They all chuckle. "No, we're fine," his squad chorus.

"Okay good, now new orders. Follow me," The team follow Sheldon to the back of the store and peers out of the covered window. "This general store overlooks the main insurgent cell in this sector, our job is to eliminate or disrupt all insurgent activity going in or out of that building across the street," he points to a large adobe building across the street, "Intelligence suggests around 24- 30 insurgent soldiers are always present at the property, with a high capacity of 50 recorded. Now here's the good news, The Pentagon has already paid off the owner of this store—don't ask me how I know, I just do—therefore we are free to use any supplies in the store. There is enough food and water to last a week, that is how long we have to clear the building. Personally, I don't think it'll take more than 3-4 days but it's always good to have time on our hands. Unlike previous engagements, this is to be a clandestine operation and must be conducted quietly. Therefore, I need to know right now who has the fastest fireman's carry time?"

The group look at him confused, "Wait a minute, you aren't suggesting we do a snipe and grab?" Michael asks.

"Of course I am. There is no CAS for this, there are no reinforcements arriving until we take that building or significantly reduce the amount of activity going in and out," Sheldon says definitively.

"Why?" Reese asks, concerned that they were lambs being led to the slaughter.

"Because the point is to leave the city intact. Small engagements can reduce property damage rather than the overwhelming use of tanks or air support," Sheldon explains. "Because we have disrupted insurgent supply lines they can't get weapons to where they need which keeps the skies clear but, the importance of this city is because of what coalition forces did in Fallujah in 2004.

They've regrouped here, like roaches. Our job is to crush them as any good exterminator would," Sheldon smiled.

All right, fine. I had a 32.3-second 25-yard dash at Camp Pendleton." Reese tells his superior. "I had a 33.2," Anthony added.

"34.1." Sergeant Bill Carlisle told him.

"I need another sub-40 timer," Sheldon said. "33.7, Doc," Ramirez told him.

"Good, all right. You've all seen tennis matches with ball boys and girls running back and forth retrieving balls at the net, right?" The team nod, "That's essentially our strategy; Reese, Anthony, Carlisle, and Ramirez, space yourselves out across a 125-yard diameter on the property, Clarke and I will be on the scopes, and whoever is closest to wherever the body drops picks it, once you get three, come back inside to relieve your cargo, then go back outside. The rest will provide a watch and cover fire and storage solutions while you are coming and going. The building sees a lot of foot traffic so we take out anybody who is looking suspicious. If we do this right, we can get this done in about 3-4 days. Prepare yourselves, gentlemen, first watch is in an hour."

During the first watch, Michael and Sheldon manage to pick off an astonishing 13 with silenced rifles. The second watch was later that afternoon, they picked off nine. Night watch as predicted only saw five. Twenty-seven in a day. The second day was slower, with only eight during the first watch which was from morning until lunch. But four of the eight came from inside. The second watch that afternoon saw a flurry of activity with the residents searching for their missing colleagues and as a result 14 of the house residents were eventually picked off. Evening watch saw 11 more house residents downed during twilight hours. Day three, was eerily quiet, Sheldon suspects that's because they had taken out most if not all of the residents and because of that they only had two visiting casualties during the first watch that morning. By the time of the second watch, Sheldon had recalled Carlisle and put him in charge of the fire suppression team along with Michael as he and nine others took the house.

"Clear!"

"Clear!"

"Clear!"

Were the calls from various parts of the house. Sheldon was honestly surprised by the lack of resistance over the last few days. Perhaps he had overestimated the level of opposition, he shook his head clearing it, they were in a war, any small victories now could be huge defeats later if they weren't vigilant.

"Sweep the area. Grab any intel you can. Especially computers or hard drives." He radios his team.

They head out across the street with four laptops and several hard drives. When they make it back Sheldon tells Carlisle to radio for reinforcements with confirmation code 'Hotel India Romeo has fallen'. He tells Carlisle to set up defences on the west side of the street as he and Michael head up to the roof to keep watch for enemy snipers on the east end.

"You remember Bobby Hatfield?" Michael asks idly.

"Yeah."

"He just wanted me to pass along his thanks to you for getting him that position with DARPA. I didn't know you were that big of a big wig, Doc, your letter of rec sealed his employment."

"Well he deserves it, a mind like his is too valuable to waste. I just regret not nailing the bastard who capped him in the knee. I swear if I ever find the son of a bitch…" he trails off.

Michael chuckles, "You can't save 'em all, Doc."

Sheldon checks the sixth floor with his scope, "No, I guess not. But I suppose I can take some consolation he was able to see his wife and three-year-old son again."

Michael checks the seventh floor, and replies knowingly, "You wanna get back home to Penny, don't you?"

"More than you'll ever know."

"Furious fighting continues in Ramadi between Iraqi insurgents and U.S.-led coalition forces as coalition forces continue to push deeper into the city. The insurgents' plan of attack has been hampered since the beginning of the campaign due to the loss of several key munition depots. More on this at 11." Penny turned off the TV and sighed, the only reason she even watches the news now is that they typically end reports with a casualty count. Since Sheldon has been away she just hoped and prayed he wasn't one of them.

Valerie shook her head from where she sat at her desk. "You need to relax, Pen. He's fine, Michael's with him. They watch out for each other like hawks."

"Yeah…," Penny sighed, "It's just—I miss him so much," her voice took on an unusual whiny quality.

Valerie tutted, "I never thought I'd see the day, little miss I'm-dating-both-the-starting- quarterback-and-the-starting-shortstop-thank-you-very-much is heads over heels for a guy she's only known for a year and some change. What exactly does this guy have over the rest of 'em that's made you so lovesick?"

"It's kinda hard to explain…"

Valerie nodded, "Ah gotcha. Say no more, he's got a big dick."

"Val!" Penny threw her pillow at her best friend and blushed. "I mean… yeah," she giggles, "but that's not why I'm so into him. Sheldon is the first guy to ever listen to me and genuinely does not back down when he thinks I'm wrong. Most guys I've been with backpedal like they're stuck on rewind. He talks to me genuinely, values my opinions, and he treats me like a princess but not one he'd keep locked up in a castle. He has had a hard life, Val. It probably couldn't have been easy to go to high school at nine years old, graduate college at 14, lose his father, then go back across an ocean and finish a degree most 16-year-olds could only dream of getting. Did you know that he told me that had he not listened to his father on his deathbed he'd still be terrified of germs and getting dirty? He told me that the Marines gave him a purpose because once he became one he found out where he belonged. The Marines to him is a bridge into his past, it connects him to his father who he was just getting to know and his grandfather—he served in World War II in Europe and told Sheldon to pursue science. I know he was very close to his grandfather, in fact, he said his grandmother said that he reminds her of her late husband so much it's scary. He has the most loving and gentle heart but he does a job that I'm sure eats away at it, but he pushes on because he

said he wants to live up to his father's wants and his grandfather's reputation. You wanna know how sweet he is? A year after his grandfather died, he hated seeing his grandma so heartbroken, so he asked her to take him to the mall at Christmas, got on a mall Santa's knee and asked if Santa could bring him back his grandfather for his grandma! What five-year-old would waste a wish with a mall Santa on somebody else? He told me that the mall Santa got flustered and instead of promising him what he wanted, offered Sheldon a toy train instead; he said he's hated Christmas ever since. I want to change all of his bad memories and experiences into good ones because if there was one person who has tried to make the world around him better it's him. But I can't if he's not here and I have to worry about getting a phone call from his mom or sister telling me he's been KIA. I just want him home so I can lessen his burdens so that he can go out and relieve the world of its burdens."

By the end of Penny's rant, Val is wiping away tears from her eyes, "Damn, somebody's cutting onions up in here." Val gets up from her desk and walks over and hugs her friend. Penny starts to sob into her shoulder. "Trust me, Penny, that boy is crazy about you, he'll do whatever it takes to get back to you even if it takes him a lifetime." Val pats Penny's back soothingly. "If you need proof I'm right, just go read your favourite book, Queen Penelope."