In Haze and Lust

Something was messing with her mind.

Aesther winced, as her nail dug into her palm. The dull ache made her focus better. It was far from enough. She was too weak to stand a chance in the forest if her mind was shaken off that easily.

Her anxious eyes fluttered open.

Her breaths were heavy and laboured. The small pain made her think clearly, but it was already fading away.

"A new start my ass," she furiously stomped her boot, "How can I be this weak?!"

Aesther's eyes teared up.

Her new weak body and her older strong mind were out of touch with each other. She felt stranger in her own skin.

"Fuck…" a choked sob left her.

She was not the one to cry so easily, but every little emotion felt too much in that moment and that haze. The now faint mist of the forest followed her like a stubborn leech.

As if all that was not enough.

She felt too thirsty.

Her body was hot. A fire raged inside her blood with such an intense fervour that every inch of her was on the verge of breaking down in shivers. Her wolven senses were already sharper than most, but now, they were immensely heightened.

The mist made her overly sensitive.

Vulnerable.

Lost

Aesther had to leave.

She was no stranger to her own body. The way it now reacted was something she had faced enough times. But this realisation only left her frightened.

Her vision shifted as she reached the edge of a silver spring. The trickling waters were a faint echo in her mind, and finally, she lost her desperate grasp over herself. The cold water splashed and the dull wind cut her as she fell.

But right before she could sink under the spring, a pair of firm arms stopped her.

"What are you doing here?" whoever spoke, his voice reflected a clear fury, "Being careless like this… what—!"

The words abruptly stopped as Aesther blinked her eyes. Her vision was foggy, but her dark gaze quietly stared back for a long moment.

Her expressions were unreadable.

Unfamiliar.

"You are poisoned."

He whispered.

She was not sure what happened at that moment, perhaps it was the way his words carried a solemn worry… or perhaps it was the soothing sound of that voice.

But her heart ached.

It hurt too much…

"Is it you…" Aesther whispered, her fingers cupping his face, "Ahzure?"

Before he could say anything, she pulled him closer and claimed his lips into a wet kiss. Her mind went blank. She felt him stiffen, but there were no emotions inside of her besides that untamed feral desire.

It was as if she was bitten by a snake of lust.

Frightening.

Tempting.

Aesther softly moaned as she kissed him again, and again and again. Her arms were around his neck, holding him firmly in a desperate yet domineering embrace.

Her heart hammered inside her chest.

She knew it was wrong…

"I–I don't know…" Aesther was heavily breathing as she pulled back, threading her fingers gently in his hair, "What's… happening…?"

Ahzure was stunned.

He had never thought he would be suddenly attacked like this by the revered luna. His head was as empty as hers. Ahzure was frozen and stiff by the abrupt progression of her actions.

But when Aesther tried to kiss him again, Ahzure hastily moved back.

However, she was already holding him very firmly. The sudden movement dragged her along as well, making them both stagger.

The cold water splashed around as Aesther tried to reach. She thought they were playing a little game, her thoughts were barely sane by this time.

And how could Ahzure remain calm and composed under such a situation?

He faltered just as he was about to leave the water spring, Aesther's hand found the hem of his cloak and both of them ended up falling one last time.

Aesther nearly fell but she grabbed his cloak just in time.

"What are you—!"

Before he could speak further, Aesther placed a finger over his lips. Her face was flushed red, her dark eyes were slightly closed in a mysterious yet alluring way.

"Stop moving."

The subtle roughness and impatience in her voice surprised her too.

"Rose…"

She kissed him once again, lightly biting his lips this time. Her face was burning, and her whole body was on fire as she felt his soft lips slightly move against hers.

Somewhere in the rational remains of her mind, Aesther wondered what in the name of seven hells was even happening.

If it was Ahzure...

She could not bring herself to finish that thought. There was only one thing she clearly understood, and it was that Aesther was now one of the weakest of her kind.

There was no way she could really be kissing Ahzure... right?

Aesther deepened her kiss, knowing all the right ways to ignite the innermost desires of a man with a single touch. She had lived two lives after all.

Somewhere in between, those were the very things she needed to know in order to survive.

Aesther closed her eyes, shaking off that heaviness in her heart and savouring the short moment where all she had ever wanted was coming true.

A part of her wondered if it was a dream...

But when Ahzuma stopped resisting her and accepted the gesture of her sincere love... Aesther knew it has to be a dream.

Her heart shivered as his arms slid down her back and he held her closer to him.

Firmly.

And then, the pain followed.

Aesther was snapped out of her lustful feelings as a sharp sting flared from her lips. She froze, and then quickly tried to back away. Her struggles were in vain as the man with her mercilessly bite her lips.

'Did I end up kissing some fox?!!"

Her thoughts raced and her heart panicked as Aesther finally managed to stagger away. She nervously licked her lips, tasting the warm blood.

"Son of a bitch!" she cursed under her breath, panting heavily, "I will kill you, you filthy asshat beast---"

Her face turned white at what she saw in front of her.

There was no fox spirit, instead, Ezrahl looked back at her with a stunned expression.

His clothes were somewhat torn and his gaze carried unreadable darkness. At the bottom of his lips, was her blood.

Ezrahl's gaze dimmed as he licked it.

"..."

"..."

There was a long moment of awkward silence.

But soon enough, it was clear that she was under no illusions. Aesther choked on her saliva, instantly avoiding his gaze as she coughed and her face burned brighter than the red moon.

Her whole body was hot from embarrassment when she furiously glanced back, "Speak up! I know you're a fox! How dare you trick me!"

Ezrahl quietly looked back.

"..."

"And then you had the nerve to bite me, you—you stupid fox!" she let out a shaky laugh, betrayal and pain clear in her voice, "I know kitsune can shapeshift! Don't take me for some—agh!"

It hurt to shout.

The small wound on her lips was still raw.

Her curses watered down so easily as she blamed her fate and refused to accept the worse.

Tears even pooled in her eyes as she thought about what might happen now.

It was way too embarrassing!

Ezrahl simply glanced away in responce.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes to calm himself. But his jaw was tightly clenched. It was clear that he had things to say. There must be questions.

But he said nothing and just got up as if nothing was wrong.

Aesther now knew it was really Ezrahl.

Her heart was dying under emotional chaos, but he remained stoic.

His brows were creased just a little as if being violated was just a minor inconvenience.

Aesther had seen that expression too many times to know this was no illusion.

She really wanted to go back into the water and drown herself. Then reincarnate again and start everything from the beginning.

"You want to talk about that?" She said in a calm, mature voice, "There's no need to feel bad, Ezrahl. Things like this are bound to happen between growing children."

He got up from the mud and water, adjusting his clothes as that crease between his brows deepened further.

Aesther feared what he might do next.

She was sure she whispered Ahzure's name... what if Ezrahl snitched on her?

She summoned more courage and boldly walked up to him.

"It was not my fault."

Ezrahl subtly rolled his eyes, and picked his fallen sword. He completely ignored her.

And this only made her feel more infuriated.

'Shouldn't you be the one feeling all red and hot?? I know you have never kissed before!'

'What's up with that annoyingly calm attitude!'

'Notice me, you bastard!'

Aesther grabbed the hem of his cloak just as Ezrahl turned to walk away.

He paused, finally lifting his eyes at her. A slight annoyance was clear in their depths.

Aesther pressed her lips into a thin line and narrowed her gaze.

"Don't you want to say anything? I know you do, Ezrahl."

"..."

"..."

They stared at each other for a long moment, she refused to let him go just like that and being her knight and inferior to her in status, Ezrahl can not just forcibly brush past her.

She gazed back with unrelenting determination.

After a long moment, he let out a small sigh.

"You curse like a pirate."

"..."

"We should not stay here any longer," Ezrahly curtly added, his following words were cold, "Your Grace."

She simply watched him for a quiet moment and hoped for a thousand things. But in the end, there was nothing but a haunting emptiness inside.

Aesther faked a smile, not bothering to make it seem any real.

"You are right."