Chapter 2 - AfterMath

After i had finally been happy seeing her accept me and giving us a one more chance, I decided to have her zero room for complaining. Even if she did, I'd make it up to her and make sure that the communication was there and we would handle all the problems we'd face together. Everytime we hung out, it felt like I'd have butterflies doing flips in my stomach. So, it was at that moment, even though i never had anyone of my previous relationships officially meet my parents; i thought I'd give her a chance. Even though the time wasn't long by any means, and the fact that she was even more scared to meet my dad; the main thing was the fact I'd have her meet my mom. Even she was asking " When am i going to meet your parents?" and since i was also so damn serious on her, i said "Come over whenever you have time and I'll arrange it so you meet my mom as my girlfriend." and so she did. The day we were going to come over we met at a convenience store near our college, she made me eat all the left over ice cream which i thought was adorable in its own way and then we went to meet my mom. So, i knocked and told Spice to go upstairs and hide so i can surprise my mom with her. She did so and when mom opened the door, Ta-da!! There she was the surprise of my life and the surprise my mom was worried she wouldn't see for 1 or 2 more years, her child's girlfriend. So i brought and introduced her to my mom, they had a hearty chat and were just roasting me. They had their fair share of fun taking shots and talking about my childhood and me in general. And suddenly, the door rings, in comes my dad and sees Spice sitting with me, and me being the smart person who had introduced her as my Girlfriend.

A little bit about my father, He is a Policeman so it is in his job to be skeptical about everything. He always cross verifies and asks questions in a strong tone, All of which spice wasn't ready for. So we had decided that She and My mom would meet today and she would meet my Dad on a Later date, but as soon as the door bell rang she felt that it was time to improvise her interview with her supposed soon to be Father-in-law. As soon as my father came in, he questioned who the lady was, and my mom summarized the story for him. After that my father asked various questions that even i never bothered asking, not because i did not care for them but rather they were about sensitive parts of Spice that i didn't want to know until she was ready to tell them to me; Yet my father being a little harsh as to potray a strong stature had asked every detail to verify that spice wasn't just with me for material benefits. After that i helped her leave, when she was trying to make excuses and as soon as we left the home, she broke down and started having anxiety attack as well as panic attack and it took me some time to have her calm down. That moment though was pure and it showed that I'd be there for her and i could handle her even though it was a bad memory for her. After letting her go home, i was happy that she met my parents and albeit not having planned meeting my father, i thought it went pretty smoothly.

Although i didn't recognise even after all this time that the issue wasn't that it was moving fast or she wasn't ready. The issue was she was confused of whether or not she wanted me. Even after all the stuff we did, the stuff we felt, the stuff we went through. It was clear that she still had feelings for her ex that i didn't see. The fact that i was trusting her words blindly never helped and i even said to her that after her, i wouldn't trust anyone. And so things went, Afterall this time and being so committed and serious, the reason she gave me was "I don't think this will work anymore, i still have feelings for my ex."

This left me heartbroken and closed off so much that i lost all the people i used to talk with. Didn't let anyone get close to me nor did i get close to anyone new for a while. The only time i let someone come close to me after that was my Girlfriend after Spice, Rachel. She was a Gift sent from God to fix me, She was perfect in every way but the thing is, i did not appreciate it since i was so devasted before that i had trust issues and attachment issues now. But when Spice came back, i started talking to her while being with rachel since i thought i only thought of her as a friend. Which turned out i didn't, one thing led to another and me and rachel broke up and i realised i still had feelings for Spice. But i found middle ground and blocked Spice from all medias and focused solely on Rachel as she was the one i was supposed to be serious about right? But when it all came crashing down because of a misunderstanding, i didn't even try to hold it together, instead i just let it happen. I just let it happen so i could be free from the shackle that kept me tied away from spice and so i somehow unblocked her from various medias finding her usernames that i had lost and got back in touch with her. Though it wasn't the same, it felt warm and comfortable talking to her again. I had missed being with her, and chatting to her. Though she isn't the most elegant or beautiful person to others, she always triumphed over me for unknown reasons, being with her i feel vulnerable. I feel as though the cold persona that i try to put on melts away in her presence and i missed that. Even though Rachel was the best person i could have as a life partner, she wasn't the one I'd go to lengths on end to hold together like i would do for Spice. I feel comfortable to cuddle with her much more than i felt with rachel. Just the presence of Spice fills my life up with unexpected and sweet moments and even though spice would be throwing tantrums, i love to handle them because they are from her.