7. A Beacon Home

Ellie

I was enclosed in darkness, drowning in my torment. The hits, the screams, the begging, it was all too much. I couldn't breathe and I felt like I was going to die. I thought I didn't fear death. When I was younger and stuck in my father's clutches, I looked my tormentor in the eyes and dared him to send me to the afterlife. I thought it would be a sweet relief from the pain. But I escaped. I found light, I found freedom. I found Koga and learned what it felt like to be happy, to be alive.

This can't be the end. I need more time.

I kept crying out praying for this to end. I just want to go home; I want to see Koga again. I want to run through the trees and feel the sun on my face. I want to find more joys in this world. It can't be over.

Something breaks through my thoughts, distracting me from the pain burning my body. I could smell something that was not there a second ago. It smelled amazing. More than that, it smelled … familiar. Sandalwood, musk, and cedar; it all wrapped around me like a warm hug. It soothed the cracks in my bones and the bruising on my skin. My skin was tingling everywhere the scent was touching me. I shivered at the contact. I could feel it all over my face like a breath of fresh air. The grip on my limbs and throat slowly start to loosen and I can finally breathe again.

I hear a voice, more of a whisper … it's calling to me. The voice a balm on my aching skin. I need to follow it. I reach for it; I still can't see anything, and I can't feel anything I could hold. But I keep trying. Grabbing at nothing hoping to find a crutch. As I fling, swing, and kick, the hold on me loosens enough to let me wriggle out. I'm floating again. My body warm and fuzzy, it's exhilarating. The voice keeps calling to me, it knows my name. I kick before the darkness can pull me down again. I kick and kick like I'm fighting against the tide. There's a sparkle, a small speck of light in the darkness. Like a diamond shining in the dark of night. The most beautiful thing I've seen while stuck in this hell. I push towards it. I kick. I grab. I reach. The light grows bigger, brighter. A beacon to guide me home. Just a little further.

'Come home, love.'

I want to! I want to come home! Please let me come home!

The light is so close now. I just … have to …

I can feel my eyes start to flutter, right before the pain in my head makes me want to close my eyes again.

That's right. I was running. I was chasing Koga then I fell and hit my head.

'It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real.'

I keep repeating in my head. Nothing but a bad dream.

My skin still tingles and warmth still envelopes me, along with that delicious scent. I know this scent. It's the one I caught on my run with Koga the other day. Except now, it's no longer faint. It is unmistakable and strong, and I can feel it all over me. I open my eyes expecting to find Koga, thinking he saw that I fell behind and came back for me. But that's not who I see.

I see a man staring down at me, I've never seen him before in my life. I should know, I would remember a face like his. His eyes reminded me of melted chocolate, and his hair was the same shade. I wanted to run my fingers through every lock. His olive complexion, his chiseled jawline, even the dirt patches on his face was beautiful – he was beautiful. I don't think I've ever found another human being so attractive in my whole life. But … who is he? And where did he come from?

"Ellie," he says my name with so much emotion it cracks my chest. I almost whimper at the sound of my name on his lips. Wait – he said my name. How does he know my name? And he's … naked!

I shriek and drive my fist in his nose. I don't care how beautiful he is, I'm not letting some naked creep in the woods have his way with me.

I get on my feet and run. I see Koga was right next to the strange naked man, and I wonder why the hell he didn't try to rip him apart. But I don't have time to think about it. I got to get away from him.

"Koga, let's go!" I shout at him, and he follows suit. I hear the man shout for me, but I don't acknowledge him. We run and we don't stop until we get to the cabin. Once I slam the front door shut and lock it, I back away from it until I trip over my feet and fall on my backside. My pulse is pounding in my ears and every breath I take tastes like hot metal. My skin, where a warm tingling sensation danced over faded away, leaving me cold.

My adrenaline is still pumping as I get up and run around the house, locking every window and place of entry. My bedroom is the last place to check. Everything is locked. I'm home, I'm safe, Koga is safe, but I can't stop pacing.

"Okay, Ellie, calm down. So you black out and wake up to find a dirty, naked man saying your name. It's okay, these things happen all the time. Who am I kidding? That never happens! He must be a serial killer or some hermit."

Koga sits in the threshold of my room, simply staring at me. He's not reacting to my freak-out, instead he's looking at me like I amuse him. I cock my head at him, and he does the same to me.

"Don't look at me like that." I grumble at him. "And thanks for the help back there! You growl at bunnies but you just sit there while some naked weirdo fondles me!?"

He whimpers and I instantly feel bad for raising my voice at him. I don't know why he was so calm but maybe, just maybe, if he's calm then I should be too. I keep thinking about him, the man who held me as I regained consciousness. I may have overreacted. He didn't really touch me inappropriately, just held me.

Those eyes … they were overwhelmed with emotion. I could feel them emitting from him. I could feel relief, anguish, happiness, worry, even confusion. I could feel – everything, just from his touch. It was making me dizzy as much as his scent was. I was so confused. The scent that drove me mad the other day; it belonged to him. Having it so close, the only thing to exist at the moment, I was blind in ecstasy. Even now, with his lingering scent I can feel my buzzing nerves begin to still. It's so comforting, so warm; like a childhood blanket.

What was going on?

Trying to make sense of this whole thing was making my headache worse, I had to lay down.

I fell back on the bed and took a deep breath to try and calm my nerves. Koga left the threshold and came to the side of the bed, looking at me with those big puppy dog eyes and whimpering. He would normally hop onto the bed without permission because he didn't need it. But now he's asking for it and it makes me feel like an even bigger jerk for raising my voice at him. He thinks I'm really upset with him, but I could never be.

I pat the comforter, "Come here, sweet boy."

He doesn't need to be asked twice. His large body dips the mattress under his weight and he drops right next to me, nuzzling his face closer to mine. My arms go around his body, as far as I could reach and I look into his cinnamon eyes.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm not mad at you, sweet boy. I'm just … "

I pause because I don't know how to finish that sentence. I don't know what I am, how I'm feeling. He seems to understand because he licks my face before nuzzling his snout into the crook of my neck. I take another deep breath and get comfortable. I close my eyes and focus on the rise and fall of Koga's chest, listening to his steady breathing and allow it to lull me to sleep along with the scent of sandalwood wafting from my skin.