Chapter 6 Confessions

Vlad was in his office. More like his personal space when he needed some time off from everything happening in the world outside. He was a bit changed. The indifference and lack of any display of emotion were almost gone.

Sure, the strangers still had the cold shoulder from him, but in the five years since he met that tornado that slowly squeezed herself in his life, he learned to enjoy life from time to time. Sure, she was still a walking calamity, but he learned to overlook her overwhelming knack of walking into trouble at every step of the way. He even learned to enjoy the sensation of helping her get over them. He had to admit that he liked the feeling of someone depending on him.

Sure, she was an airhead most of the time, but she was fierce when someone stepped on her toes, as he found out countless times on his own skin. Then, everything around her would look like a war zone.

He chuckled to himself and stoped abruptly, catching himself and wondering at the influence she had over him, over his current change in character and lifestyle.

He heard a loud knock at the door and it opened directly without waiting for the reply. Her head entered looking around the room until she saw him lying in the chair with his head propped on his right fist smiling like an idiot. She smiled looking at his dreaming expression.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?"

She slowly entered the room, closing the door behind her. Her curiosity could be heard from the eager tone of her voice and her blue eyes sparkled full of mischief. He dropped his fist down on the table and stood up, in alert. The excitement on her face made his skin tingle. He was sure some new tricks were developed in her mind as she stood there in front of him.

"What are you doing here?"

His cautious tone couldn't escape her observation, making her giggle. She slumped in the chair in front of him on the opposite side of the table.

"Relax, I'm not here to cause trouble. At least I hope not, if your answer is the one I am looking for. If you answer correctly, there will be no problems. I promise!"

She raised two fingers up in the air in a mock solemn move. He sighed looking at her. He had the impression that this was a trap that had no way out for him. By her own words, if his reply were to satisfy her, everything would be fine. But what would happen if it didn't?

"First things first. I don't know what you're looking for, so I don't know what my answer would be until I do. But even if I do know, what could be considered a good answer in your opinion? Don't forget how many times you asked me something and when I answered, it was hell on earth. So forgive me if I am not too excited about your expectations. I am scared shitless to be honest."

She couldn't help from laughing out loud at his cautious way of trying to escape the calamity he thought was inevitable. Was she really that scary in his mind? She shook her head.

"There's no reason to be scared. I really mean it this time. Look, I know since we met I kept causing trouble and hadn't been the most reasonable person in the world, but you have to admit you have a part of fault in all my unreasonable actions."

Vlad's mouth hung open at her way of reasoning. How was he responsible for her behavior? His mind was short-circuited trying to figure out in which way he was to be hold accountable for something he had nothing to do with.

"Just hear me out first! What I mean by the fact that you have a part of responsibility for my behavior is that at the time you were doing everything you could to avoid my presence. Once I saw you coming in the school hallway towards our class and as soon as you saw me, you just turned around and left. Was I really that abominable in your eyes at the time that you better got an absence than walk past me? And I know I asked you for so many times, but you still didn't answer me. What was that all about the first time we met the first day in school when you just took off running leaving behind your stuff in the classroom?..."

Vlad listened to her with a gnawing feeling in his stomach. What was all of this about? Why did he have the feeling this was even more complicated than he previously thought? Why was she complaining about how he acted?

".... well?"

Her sudden stop woke him up from his stupor. His mind went blank. That was definitely a question! Now, if he could know what the question was about! He sighed with a resigned feeling of just facing whatever might come his way as a man. True, a very scared man who knows he made a mistake. He wasn't paying attention to what she was saying. But a man nevertheless!

"Look, uuhh... Mn, can you repeat the question? I wasn't paying attention for a moment when you asked..."

He saw her face beginning to change as she gritted her teeth before finally she let the air out with a loud sigh. The frustration on her face couldn't be more obvious to anyone. He tried to smile in an effort to ease the situation.

"Look, it seems that if I am not speaking blunt with a blockhead like you, you'll just miss the point. I know you are very intelligent, but sometimes it boggles my mind how oblivious you can be in certain situations! First of all, everything I did was just to get you to pay attention to me! But you just ignored everything and walked your own way. The more you ignored me, the more I wanted you to pay attention to me. So, when I found out that going into trouble would make you pay more attention to me, I kept doing it just to keep you by my side. This ties to my second point. Why do you think I would do something like that?"

Because you're crazy? Of course he didn't reply like that! Even though that was the first thing that came to mind when she asked the question.

"Uh... I don't know? Why would you do that? It's counterproductive and self-sabotaging yourself."

She hit the arm of the chair in frustration as she looked at him.

"You really are a blockhead! But why should that surprise me after all this time? But it still does! It's frustrating how you couldn't get a hint when it's staring you right in the face!"

"Uh... Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry if I..."

"It means she likes you, idiot!"

The old man's voice came so sudden that both of them jumped turning their heads toward the door. He stood there grinning in the doorway.

"She's right, you know! You really are a blockhead when it comes to interpersonal relationships. That's why I was glad to see you change since that day at church and start to open up. But some things apparently don't change with the passing of time!"

He sighed ruefully as he shook his head and left them again alone to their own devices. An awkward silence descended between the two of them. He looked at her and saw her face turning red. But, apparently there was no anger this time. For the first time she appeared to be blushing. Was she ashamed of what the old man said? Was it true? Or did the old man just dropped a rock in the water to splash him and disappeared, like he apparently had the habit of doing since the day he met her? He gathered his courage. Even though his heart was beating almost to the point of breaking out of his chest and his stomach was twisted in knots. His throat was suddenly very dry and a knot was stuck there, making him cough to make it go away. He licked his lips to make them able to be used to talk. First sound coming out of his mouth was just a squeak, which made him stop, cough again to clear his throat and try again.

"Is that true? What he said, I mean? Because it's alright if it's true. Of course it's alright if it's not true too! If it's not true, then we'll ignore everything he said and return to our own business.

" And if it's true? What happens then?"

She looked at him trying to hide the desire to hear his answer. The usual confidence was gone at this moment. All that was left was her, with her own insecurities, trying not to fall apart.

He held his breath for a long moment at her indirect admission. He looked at her. I mean really looked at her, taking in not just the way she looked like. Her eyes were staring at him full of expectations. She usually was so strong, so confident that appeared she has no need of anyone. But at the moment, she was vulnerable. It gave him a feeling of warmth inside seeing her reveal herself in front of him. He knew this time, it was no game, no tricks. He knew that if his answer was wrong, it could crush her.

He sighed and slowly stood up and started walking around the table towards the door. He stopped beside her and grabbed her hand, lifting her up from the chair. She didn't say anything, didn't put any resistance and followed him to the door and then in the hall, down the stairs, then outside on the porch and there he stopped and turned around to face her. He saw her lips trembling and she was trying to hide her eyes, but he could see the shimmer of her unshed tears in them. Her voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"It's all over, isn't it? I get it, I just made a mistake by coming here today..."

"You know, there were times when I envied you. You were living so carefree, without caring what other people thought of you. What happened to that you? Why are you so shaken now? I only took you out here to take a breath of air and calm your nerves. If I remember, there was no time when I said you made a mistake by coming here. Sure, at the beginning, I thought like that, but somehow along the way you managed to get me to open up to life. You were obnoxious, but I couldn't find it in me the strength to oppose you. And you kept wriggling into my life. I don't know if what I said even makes sense, but what I'm trying to say is that I don't reject you. But I also can't say that I love you. Because there are things that I don't know about you and things that you don't know about me. Until there is complete trust between us, it can't be love. What we can do now is get to know each other better and see what happens then. What do you think about this?"

He looked at her and saw her face starting to change while he spoke. First disappointment, then dejection, then puzzlement and finally hope. She could only nod at his question. He opened up his arms and embraced her. He felt her grip tighten around his waist.

.......

In the chair, the bones creaked and a red light started to shine making him tremble.

The chubby man's smile grew wider once more.

"Finally the hope in his life arrived. Good! It means after his reformation there's only one step left. Can't wait for it!"