1 Ascension

After what feels like days wandering in the heart of the jungle, I finally reach the cave. I set out from Kalamanda with nothing but a hand-drawn map and a head full of rumors, but the closer I got, the more I knew I was headed toward destiny. As I found myself getting deeper into the jungle, the towns became villages, then abandoned camps strewn with bones, and finally, nothing. No people, no animal life, just a small hole on the side of a jagged hill with an illegible inscription above it.

I take a deep breath and steady myself, pulling together my resolve and forcing the fear that had been building in me out of my body. Although I had been desperately waiting for this moment for nearly two decades, now that I had finally arrived, it all became real. Before, it was just a theory; a dream of some kind of unattainable glory, or at the very least, a chance for peace.

I cast my doubt aside and step into the mouth of the cave. As soon as I'm inside, I can hear something. It was faint, and at first, I wasn't sure where it was coming from. The best way to describe it would be a low, deep hum.

After I step just a few feet into the cave, I'm surrounded by darkness. I go for my flashlight, but it only pierces mere inches into the deep black in front of me. A tinge of fear begins to grow in me, but I push forward carefully, placing a hand on the left wall and taking great caution with every step.

Something in me tells me to turn and run, and for a moment, I consider it, but when I turn around, I find the entrance lost in the impenetrable darkness. I have no choice but to keep moving forward and face my fate.

I don't know how long I spend walking down that narrow path without finding anything. It must have been a few hours because the battery on my flashlight eventually dies. Strangely, I feel neither hunger, thirst or fatigue; only the desire to keep moving forward. The further I go in, the low hum that I had heard when I entered becomes increasingly louder and deeper, to the point where I can almost feel it reverberating in my bones.

Finally, the wall that I had been using to steady myself disappears, and I find myself in a large, circular room. My body is shaking from the hum, but I continue to press forward; drawn toward the center. I try to stomp a little bit to see how deep the room went, but I then realize that my footsteps aren't making any noise. I wonder if it had been that way the entire time.

"I know what you seek."

A voice comes from the darkness, nearly startling me off of my feet. But again, no echo. How?

"Hello?" I question the darkness. "Who are you?"

"I AM what you seek."

"How can I know that?"

"Believe me or not, the result is the same."

I try to think of something to say. After all these years waiting for this, I can't put the words together.

"Can you prove it?"

It's the best I can muster.

"How bold of you to ask that of me. Is this place not enough for you, little one? Can you not feel my presence?"

"If you really are what I seek, tell me, please, why am I here?"

"You are here because you wish to become a part of something greater than yourself. For redemption, correct?"

"Yes. Can you help me?"

"Of course I can, my child. You aren't the first to seek my guidance, and you won't be the last."

The great booming voice seems to be coming from all around me, and the hum is getting so deep that it's making me feel weak.

"What do I need to do?" I manage to say as I tried to brace myself.

"Just heed my call."

"That's it?"

It can't be that simple, can it?

"Heed my call and be free. Ascend to your rightful place among my chosen. I can see the pain in you. It radiates from your body like fire. I can relieve you, but you must heed my call."

The hum grows deeper in me, taking me down to the cold, damp floor. I begin to feel all of the hate and horror that I'd spent so much time trying to escape leaving my body. Tears fall from my eyes. Could this be real? A chance for redemption, after everything?

"Will you heed my call?"

I wanted to answer in affirmation as loud as I can. How could I resist? But there was something, that little voice inside me, that tells me to run. Some call that voice God, the conscience or intuition, but whatever it is, it wants me out of here. I think it was my own shame, telling me that I didn't deserve a cleansing. After everything I'd done, all of those innocent people I cut down in the name of my God and my King, why would I possibly deserve peace?

"You did what you had to."

The voice must be reading my thoughts.

"I know the horrors of war are corroding you from the inside, but I can take them away. You never had a choice in life. You did what you were told and never asked questions. It's what a good soldier does."

"I raped and pillaged," I cry, daring to say it aloud for the first time. "I burned villages, put heads on pikes, ripped children from their mother's arms and dashed their frail bodies on the ground. Is that what a good soldier does?"

"It matters not. If you hadn't done those things, you wouldn't be here now. Will you heed my call?"

"Yes!" I yell out. "Please, grant me deliverance. My soul must be saved!"

Suddenly, a small, purple light begins to illuminate the room from the center. The grand hollow of the cave goes back infinitely behind it. The glow grows greater in intensity, to the point where I shield my eyes out of fear of being blinded by its glory.

"You've made a wise choice. Come forward and ascend."

I feel something take over my body, bringing me quickly to my feet, and pinning my arms to my side. The radiating light begins to pulse, and I start moving forward.

The floor begins to open beneath the light, quickly turning into a chasm that went to unknown depths. As my body inches forward toward it, I begin to see inside, and all of the unbridled joy that has filled my body is quickly replaced with pure terror.

Beneath the purple glow is a gaping maw with thousands of rows of teeth, spiraling down toward a rotten pit that was filled with corpses; some fresh, some ancient, all with faces frozen in fear of the realization that I was quickly having.

"No!" I scream as loud as I could. "Please, let me go!"

"It's too late. You've made your decision."

I try to fight with all of my might, but my body no longer belongs to me, and I keep marching forward.

"Thousands have come here over the eons, seeking to free themselves from their foolish decisions in life. I welcomed them all into the fold as I welcome you. They all try and fight it, but they, like you, know that it is inevitable."

"I don't want it!" I start screaming, over and over, louder and louder. "I'm not ready to die!"

"You were ready before you came here. It's what drew you to me in the first place. I've been watching you for some time, I watch all who ascend. You are more than deserving of this fate. Now, HEED MY CALL!"

I take one final, unwilling step over the edge and tumble into the abyss; the horrors of my life flashing before my eyes as I fall. Black and red oozing tentacles spring forth from between the rows of teeth and latch onto me, mixing in with my flesh and draining the life from my body.

A single thought pierces my mind as the darkness consumes me. The beast, whatever it is, is right. I made my choice when I ended an innocent life for the first time. I could have said no. I could have said it was wrong and faced the consequences, but I chose the path of least resistance. I deserve this.

I hear the crunch of bones and sinew as the walls begin to recede. I choke on what little blood I have left in my body and try to force my eyes closed as I fade away. Then, now and forevermore, I become one with my captor.