Facing it calmly

Adam remained hunched over the steering wheel, his shoulders revealing a trace of sorrow after releasing all his emotions. Faint yet distinct, the fragile contours of his form seemed unable to withstand the weight of the night, as if on the brink of collapse. The faint halo of the streetlamp meandered along his shoulder lines, appearing even lonelier and more forlorn.

Lifting his head, he sat up straight, weakly leaning against the back of the driver's seat. He took a long, drawn-out breath. The dense lashes trembled slightly, and his elongated eyes betrayed a hint of shallow desolation, like butterfly wings in a light drizzle, causing a mist to rise between flaps, unable to conceal the fragility that shattered upon impact. It spread slowly amidst the intense night.

This was the end. On the evening before the surgery, nothing had happened, and nothing had changed. He had merely attempted to drive once, a distance of less than two hundred meters, and then it had abruptly come to a stop. Such emptiness.

The air suddenly grew quiet. The mixture of emotions permeated both inside and outside the car, silent yet surpassing a thousand words. Seth couldn't help but lightly bite his tongue, saving himself from the awkwardness of shedding tears.

After his emotional outpouring, Adam felt the fiery ball in his chest calming down, though it hadn't extinguished. He gathered his spirits again, staring blankly at the seat in thought. He had a sense that he should do something more, but he lacked a clear idea. Suddenly, he remembered something and took out his phone.

"No!" As soon as Seth saw the phone, he squinted his eyes, contemplating for a moment before realizing Adam's intention. He cried out in shock, "Oh, no." Then, witnessing Adam open his contacts and browse through his call history, a sinister premonition was coming true. Was Adam about to call his ex-girlfriend, Rachel?

This was an absolute disaster! Considering Adam's usual behavior, he was always too kind, easily deceived by Rachel, always forgiving her. Facing death, Adam was likely to forgive Rachel once again. This was the typical Adam. As a result, all their previous efforts and persistence would be in vain. Seth felt both frustrated and angry.

A sense of suffocation overwhelmed Seth, as if the old story with Will were replaying before his eyes. He couldn't help but shout in frustration, "No, you are not calling her, man!"

But Adam didn't react at all, he remained focused on the phone screen. This enraged Seth, and he began pounding on the car window, attempting to get Adam's attention. He roared, "After what she did to you!" Yet it remained futile. Adam successfully found the phone number and dialed it. Seth shouted in frustration, "You're a p*ssy, Adam."

This infuriated Adam, he turned his head, counter-yelling, "You're a selfish piece of shit!" His face turned red, spit flew, his eyes widened in anger. There was no trace of his usual mildness or compliance. He spat out a string of profanities, "You care more about getting yourself f*cking laid than being my friend."

The sharp accusation caught Seth off guard. He averted his gaze in shame, took a step back with his hands on his hips, and let out a sigh. He realized he couldn't argue back, so he could only stand there, unable to utter a word, consumed by feelings of self-blame.

Adam noticed he was panting heavily after just a few sentences. He had rapidly breathed in but it felt uneven. He took a deep breath to get some oxygen, but it went down the wrong way and he began coughing violently. The sensation of weakness swept over him quickly, his face reddened, cold sweat broke out on his back, and the pain of his soul being extracted caused his brows to furrow.

The illness ravaging his body was so vivid and real.

However, Adam didn't feel anger. Instead, a faint smile curved at the corner of his lips, bitter and tinged with mockery. What use was there for resistance? He had no choices left, after all.

"Katherine." The call connected, but the voice on the other end wasn't Rachel; it was Katherine, Adam's therapist.

Not long ago, when he had met with Katherine in person, he had lashed out with hostility, hurting her deeply, much like a scoundrel. At least, before the surgery, he could express his apologies.

"Cough." Adam was caught off guard, choking again. "Hey, it's Adam," he managed to say. His smile quirked up at the corners of his mouth, but beneath the irony, there was a hint of awkwardness and hesitance. He involuntarily lowered his gaze, concealing his emotions.

"Adam?" Katherine sounded surprised, clearly not expecting that the caller would be Adam. "Adam? It's midnight. What's going on?" Her voice carried a hint of panic, seemingly unsure how to handle the situation.

This made Adam chuckle softly, a light laugh escaping his lips. The corners of his mouth tugged downward after the mockery, revealing a trace of embarrassment and inexperience. He shrugged, "I'm just probably having a nervous breakdown." Then he raised his shoulders slightly, "I think I just fractured my larynx." Yes, he used the rare word "larynx" instead of "throat", adding an odd touch of humor.

"..." This was Katherine's initial reaction—she was momentarily stunned. After about a second, she regained her senses. Her panicked emotions gradually settled, and she spoke more calmly, "I'm really, really glad that you called."

That familiar voice seemed to carry a soothing energy. Before he could react, his eyes reddened. Having experienced the emotional breakdown earlier, he was now defenseless. With just a touch, he shattered, "I just want it to be over." His voice grew hoarse, a powerful force dragging his legs down, and a bitter smile escaped his lips. Yet, the glimmer in the corners of his eyes grew brighter. "I'm so f*cking tired of being sick."

His voice suddenly came to a halt.

Adam clenched his teeth tightly, but he couldn't suppress the slight quiver of his lips. Glowing teardrops shimmered at the corners of his eyes. The pain that penetrated his bone marrow was like smoke, deeply entwined. It couldn't escape the confines of his eyelashes and fell. The restraint and suppression, barely maintaining a last shred of dignity, couldn't hold on any longer. He had no choice but to surrender.

Surrender.

In the very end, he was defeated like this, choosing to surrender. Faced with cancer, he raised his hands, lowered his weapons, and gave up all resistance.

Anna Kendrick suddenly froze. She had come to help rehearse lines and support Renly's acting. All she needed to do was stand by and read lines, helping Renly get into character.

But at this moment, as she looked at Adam sitting in the driver's seat, gradually fading away, falling apart bit by bit, surrendering step by step, the pain and despair pierced through the distance, the screen, the night, gradually seeping in like countless strands of cow hair. It entered through her pores, melting into her bloodstream.

Suddenly, Anna felt an urge to cry. The overwhelming sorrow nearly breached her psychological defenses. The sourness at the tip of her nose made her gaze drop involuntarily, focusing intently on the script in her hands.

"You know, if this surgery doesn't work, it's... That's it," Adam chuckled lightly, yet he couldn't sense any humor in it. It was more a sense of endless melancholy. The light in his eyes flickered gently, but the surrounding darkness was gradually encroaching, as if visible to the naked eye. The remaining glimmer was growing fainter, fading away slowly and inexorably. Such cruelty, such desolation.

The smile lingered at the corners of his mouth before fading away like dissipating smoke, followed by a soundless "sigh." Weightless, tender, lost, lonely. The indifferent light in his eyes was precarious within the deep night, yet it resembled a flowing feast, grand and intense, blossoming and vanishing in an instant.

Anna unconsciously held her breath, fearing her slightest exhale might dissipate the last vestiges of vitality. Tears, finally, could not be contained any longer and trickled down. She knew death was cruel, or perhaps she thought she knew, but now, faced with the surge of emotions as Adam's life and death played out before her eyes, that overwhelming emotion easily overwhelmed her.

Reality was so cold, so merciless... so bloody.

"And I've never, you know... I've never been to f*cking Canada." Adam self-deprecatingly remarked. His voice had become feeble, and his runny nose was a mess. He didn't care; he wiped it away with his hand and tried to lift the corners of his mouth. Yet, the light in his eyes was gradually dimming, and the surrounding darkness seemed to be growing thicker. "I've never told a girl I loved her..."

His words stopped there, a breath caught in his throat, unable to find its way out. If he wanted, he could have continued speaking incessantly, but what would be the point? This was the end.

His eyelids lowered once again, concealing all his emotions. The radiance between his brows vanished without a sound, without color, without movement. His expression was like a Seattle street after rain, damp and cold mist. "It sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

"No, it doesn't." Anna realized her voice was trembling slightly. She wanted to say something more, but her mind went blank. Words seemed pale and feeble, unable to convey her inner emotions or soothe Adam's turmoil. Eventually, she could only stop here.

She bit her lower lip, struggling to prevent her emotions from spilling out. It was so difficult.

"Sorry. I was such an asshole the other day." The apology finally came, and Adam hurriedly wiped away the tears at the corners of his eyes, exhaling with a relieved chuckle.

"No, was an asshole" Anna shook her head repeatedly, speaking with heartfelt emotion. "I was totally unprepared for you. This job is really hard. If I f*ck up I can ruin somebody's whole life..."

Adam pursed his lips and paused for a moment before murmuring softly, "Well, I guess we're both beginners at this."

"Yeah..." Anna responded softly, the lingering sound trailing off.

The two fell into silence like this. No one spoke, and the tranquil air flowed slowly.

People always thought they understood life and death, that they had conquered nature and mastered the rules of society. But in reality, they never truly understood aging, illness, and death. Faced with the laws of nature, everyone was a beginner, and no one could become accustomed to it.