Chapter 6. The Dusky Sky 2

"Roshan is not what he claims. All this time he has been lying to you. He has been lying to you for the last two years in saying that he belongs to a rich family. Truth is his father is a clerk"

Nandita looked at Zara in disbelief and tried to interrupt and say, "What are you talking about? He is from a business family like mine. Why would he lie, he can't, he has been showering me with all these expensive gifts, where would he get those from if he wasn't rich?"

"Oh Nandu, you are too naïve and nice. You trust just about everyone. This man is currently under too many debts. He borrowed money from many notorious moneylenders to woo you and get you. He also stole money from his father. He got beaten up a few times for his deeds when he was unable to repay. He is not here on a scholarship. His father is a small time clerk, earns just enough to survive but is now struggling to repay his son's loans. Roshan was too ashamed of his background to confess to a rich woman like you. Imagine all the money he could bag if he got away with a rich man's daughter. Oh and by the way, he has also been a night bus driver for last 4 months, apparently trying to pay off the loans. He has been cheating you all this time. I am sorry that I had to be the one to tell you, when everyone else knew about it but played ignorant. You can watch him drive the Route 2 bus at 7.45 PM near Kashinagar bus stop, if you don't believe me"

Nandita listened to the whole speech in disbelief, trying to recall moments with Roshan where he could have possibly lied. Unwilling to accept, she stormed out of the room and started walking out. She called Roshan and asked him to meet near the gate. Roshan appeared in fifteen minutes, unaware of what waited for him.

"What does your father do?" asked Nandita.

Roshan was surprised at the question, hesitated a little but uninhibitedly replied, "He is a businessman, told you. He deals with music, CDs etc."

"How much does your father send you?"

"Kyu pooch rahi ho?"

"Just answer me"

Roshan started sensing something, but went along, "He sends me about Rs 10-15000 a month"

"That's a lot. It is good that you don't have to work part-time to earn your pocket money, like Raghu and others?"

"Uh, you are right. But kyu pooch rahi ho?"

"Just like that. I will see you tomorrow"

"Are you all right? You love me right?"

Nandita nodded and left. Surprised at the abruptness, Roshan left wondering what had just happened. He knew there was no way she could have found out because Will and Aditya were too good of friends to break his trust. Roshan thought about Zara but knew that Will must have asked her to not say anything. He thought to himself that Nandita might be upset about something else. He firmly decided to tell Nandita the truth sooner than he thought.

That same night, Zara and Nandita waited near the bus stop waiting for the Route 2 bus. They stepped in as the bus arrived. Nandita didn't take too long to recognize Roshan. Roshan felt naked, lost, and helpless. He tried to look away. Nandita screamed furiously, "Roshan, just stop the bus right now"

Roshan was shaking by now and stopped the bus immediately but didn't say a word. The girls left the bus and took another bus back to the hostel.

Roshan returned to the hostel at midnight and couldn't sleep. He waited for the morning and wanted to talk to Nandita. He waited for her outside the class, but didn't see her. Zara refused to talk to Roshan, and Koel said, "Not now Roshan. We will talk later. I am sorry"

Roshan stopped her and asked, "Bus itna bata do, does she know about my background? Do you all know?"

"I am afraid, we all know. You shouldn't have hidden behind a facade. But we will figure a way out to resolve everything. I am late for my next class. Will see you later"

Roshan stood there unveiled, speechless. He rushed to find Will and Aditya but they weren't around. He called Nandita many times, but in vain. He emailed her, and tried to visit her, but she never responded. He was losing his senses and was dying inside. I need to talk to her, he thought. He called Zara, but Zara deliberately disconnected the call. He rushed aimlessly like a lost and scared kid. He ran into Will at Raghu's cafe.

"Can you come with Aditya to my room, please, right now?" Roshan asked.

Will discovered later from Zara what had happened. He was shocked himself and didn't know how to face Roshan. Aditya was called on his phone and both him and Will met Roshan in his room an hour later.

Aditya was surprised that Koel hadn't told him about the previous night's episode. He asked Roshan to calm down because he was speaking incoherently and sweating. He had always been an anxious person.

"Calm down Roshan and look at me. Stop walking around. We will talk to her," said Aditya.

"But how did she find out?" Aditya asked Roshan.

Roshan was quiet and looked at Will. Will felt guilty of taking Zara on that bus two days back. He, Roshan, and Aditya had a deal that no matter what, they would avoid taking their girlfriends and other friends on that bus.

The next few days, Nandita never went to her classes, avoided all phone calls, even Aditya's, Will's or anyone else's that tried to meddle. Koel tried to get her to talk to Roshan, but she wouldn't respond. They asked her to attend the classes, to which she said, "I have enough to cover up for my attendance. I will collect the class notes from you guys later. But I am not going out. I don't want to see his face"

Koel informed Roshan of everything. Meanwhile Will had been quiet around everyone, and especially around Zara and Roshan. They still hadn't confronted. One day, Koel came up to Roshan with a sealed envelope and said, "This is for you, from Nandita"

"Nahi yaar…tum padhke batao..please tell me she didn't break up"

Koel read it for him, "Roshan, you proved that trusting someone is not enough. You proved that material values are more than love. Had you told me the truth, I would have still loved you, but you chose not to. I didn't love you for the riches, I loved you for you. But you loved me for something that is not me; why else would you lie around me? I am sorry that I loved you. I am sorry I even knew you. I will make sure your father is informed of your theft and deception as well. He too, deserves the truth. Goodbye and goodluck."

Roshan felt the ground beneath his feet disappear. For moments he stood speechless, and then burst into tears. He was struggling between thoughts of losing the two most important entities in his life, Nandita and his parents. He knew, his father being a temperamental man, would not be able to withstand this shock and would desert him forever, and his mother being subservient would follow his father's orders. He knew he had been a burden on his father who had been struggling hard to pay off his student loans. If his father found out about Roshan's failures, theft, and borrowings, he would die in shock. On the other hand, he lost the woman he loved with all his heart. He cursed himself for waiting to say the truth. He regretted doing what he did. His heart ached for her. He wanted to lie in her lap like always and joke about having kids. How much he wanted to have kids with her. He would always say, "Hope they have your eyes and smile, and my sense of humor." He knew how none of that would ever happen now. He wished for her to say like always, "It will be OK"

Koel and Aditya tried comforting him, but in vain. Roshan had sent many letters and emails to Nandita explaining to her that he really loved her, and why he had started to lie and cover up. He explained about his job and everything. But anything addressed from Roshan was either deleted or torn to pieces. Nandita's trust was broken. It was too late to mend.

Roshan was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't at work, not in his room, not at Raghu's café, nowhere. Once, he appeared from nowhere when everyone was seeking his whereabouts.

"I am going to confront Nandita," said Roshan.

"Where were you? We have been looking for you. And you can't see her this late. She is in her room, she won't see you," said Aditya.

"I know, but I will see her," said Roshan.

"Calm down Roshan," said Will. Roshan immediately looked at Will glaringly. His eyes were red with hatred for him and his face was puffy, hair ruffled. Will looked down with guilt. No one knew if Roshan had been drinking or crying or doing both.

"Why did you do this?" asked Roshan.

"Listen to me. I didn't know you were on that bus. I thought you hadn't been to work for a while. And Zara insisted on taking that bus," said Will.

"Zara, Zara…where are you Will? How did you lose yourself in her shadow? I know I am in no place to blame others, given what I did. But I could have never let Nandita come between me and my friends. How could you let Zara tear you apart from us? Weren't you noticing, this whole time she wanted to keep you to herself. She didn't want to share you. And she hated me. She must have rejoiced at the idea of telling Nandita everything. I have always thought of you as my brother and you sure have helped me when you were a friend. But the closer you got to Zara, the further you got away from your us. Tell me you didn't enable this?"

Will listened in silence.

Roshan took another look and said, "I thought so." He stormed out of the room.

Aditya looked at Will with condemnation and left.

Roshan walked unsteadily to the field facing Nandita's window. He waited there under the Great Banyan tree for a few minutes trying to locate the window, in his unsteady state of mind. There it was, 5th from the right. The lights were still on. It was 11 PM. He stood there trying to think and then started screaming Nandita's name,"Nandita,... Nandita….please look at me." It took some more screaming until Nandita actually discovered what was going on. She was sitting by her window trying to put his gifts away in a box.

"I think it is Roshan," said Koel.

"Just ignore him Nandu, he is being melodramatic to grab your attention," said Zara.

Nandita tried her best to ignore his voice. Roshan was persistent.

"Nandu, give me a chance to talk. I promise I will never show up again"

By now others in the building started turning on their lights. Nandita was getting worried because the security might take action against her and Roshan. Roshan had been yelling for a few minutes now and tears had started running down his cheeks.

"All right Nandu. I will leave. I will leave for now and always. Can you at least look at me once, please?" Roshan screamed in a broken voice. Nandita got teary and stifled her emotions. She wanted to run towards Roshan hold him and say, "It is all right". But she couldn't because she knew it wasn't all right. She remembered how she had been praying to her lord to give her the strength to stand through this. This would be best for her. She moved her curtain and looked at Roshan. He looked unbelievably weak under the dim street lights. She could sense that he was crying, but she remembered how much he made her cry, and that gave her the strength to stand up to her decision. Roshan looked at her with a peaceful smile and waved her a kiss. They looked at each other. Their eyes were locked, the moment had paused for both but time was fleeting by. Roshan said, "Goodbye Nandita" and started walking backwards until he turned around and vanished into the dark. Nandita watched him leave and slowly dropped the curtain, stared at both the girls and broke down.

"Be strong Nandu, you did the right thing. I can't believe, he screamed your name to humiliate you further," said Zara. Koel was quiet and just left the room. The security tried to trace trouble, but when they found nothing, they resigned.

Next morning, Nandita decided to take a walk to the nearest temple. Koel accompanied her. The campus was unusually empty. Raghu's café was still closed.

"What is going on?" Koel muttered.

They reached the temple and on their way back they noticed a group of guys they knew through friends. "Hey guys, how are you, the campus seems shockingly quiet, seems like a curfew of some kind, any idea?" Koel asked.

The guys looked at the girls and continued walking in another direction.

"It doesn't feel right," Nandita remarked.

Koel tried reaching her friends including Aditya, but no one was picking up the phone.

"I am not getting a good feeling," Nandita remarked again.

They rushed to the hostel where the security informed that a student's body was found near a ditch inside the campus. The girls were shocked and Koel asked, "Any idea who?"

"No. But someone from the MBA department," replied the security guard.

Both the girls felt a blow; they knew in their hearts that it was someone they knew. They rushed upstairs and noticed a few girls near their room. They were watching the girls approaching. Urmi was standing next to the door and she rushed towards Nandita and hugged her. The girls knew instantly that their fears were true. Nandita shook Urmi away.

"What is all this?" Nandita asked.

Urmi stood still holding Nandita's hands. Nandita stood still and looked at Koel speechlessly. Koel was too shocked and confused herself to say anything. She went inside, found Zara missing and asked the other girls about the incident but no one knew enough to respond. Koel rushed down alone and hurriedly to the men's hostel while Nandita stood still in the hallway. Koel approached the men's hostel and noticed a huge crowd. She headed towards Aditya's room but there was no sign of him. Shoubhik and Jack noticed Koel distressed and looking for someone. Shoubhik summoned Koel.

"Shoubhik, what's going on? Where is everyone? Who was the guy?" asked Koel.

"Koel, Aditya and others are at the hospital. I thought you knew already. It is so unfortunate. Roshan, of all people…"

Koel stood there at first unwilling to accept what he just said and then broke down. The boys tried to comfort her and suggested that they give her a ride. "I want to go to the hospital," Koel said.

"I don't think it's a good idea, there is a lot of rush and there is police everywhere. We just came back from there. You should wait till Aditya comes back and gives you an insider," Jack added.

Koel was so shocked that she couldn't speak without stammering.

"I don't want to go back to the hostel. I can't face Nandita"

The boys insisted and dropped Koel off at the hostel. Koel felt too guilty about shedding tears because she thought Nandita deserved to know the news first. She walked up to Nandita who was still standing in the hallway surrounded by others. Nandita looked at Koel but preferred to ask Zara who was approaching her from the other side.

"Who was it Zara? I want to hear it from you?" Nandita asked. Zara looked distressed and tried to hug Nandita when Nandita pushed her away.

"You didn't reply?" she asked again.

Zara answered her with a low but unshaken voice, "Its Roshan, Nandita. I am so sorry for the loss. I can't believe it."

Nandita stared at Zara for some time and walked away towards Koel. Koel hugged Nandita. Zara didn't understand her reaction. But she thought that Nandita was pushing her away out of trauma. She feared that Nandita held her responsible. Nandita passed out and was taken inside the room where she regained consciousness in some time. She was too still, not shedding a tear. She refused to eat or drink in the next few hours. She sat stubbornly near her window staring blankly outside at the banyan tree.